"Baby!"

"Yeah?"

"Let's go, we're going to be late" Taehyung yelled

"Coming!" I screamed back from upstairs. Jungkook was having fun fluffing my hair "Are you done back there?"

"Yes!" his big eyes peek over the top of my voluminous coils "it's so big and soft and bouncy" he giggled, stretching a curl only for it to spring back into formation.

I gloss my lips and stand up from his gaming chair leading the way downstairs. When we reached the landing, I noticed everyone was already there waiting for us.

"You ready?" Yoongi asked with raised brows

"I guess I am" I shimmied the jitters away, but my heartbeat had accelerated. I wasn't sure what Mi-Kyung had to say to me, but I found myself curious.

I was very happy my soulmates could join me; I knew I would not be able to sit through this evening alone in the presence of that woman. I was going to need their help to keep me calm and sane.

I rode with Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok- a physical, emotional and mental connection- Hobi drove us, and I rode in the back with Yoongi leaving Joon in the front to keep our driver company. I could have just had Seokjin with me, but I didn't want to exhaust him so early in the night.

"Are you nervous?" Yoon asked, holding my hand

"Not really, I admit that I am curious as to what she has to say but still mostly angry. I don't know if I'll be able to make it through this night without exploding in her face." I answered truthfully "She ruined my life by being selfish and I just can't get over that"

He squeezed my hand "Do you think she's going to apologize?"

"She might" I shrugged "Probably"

"Do you think you might ever be able to forgive her?" Hoseok asked, coming to a stop at a red light

"I don't think so. I missed out on having my family because of her, I was supposed to be with both of my moms, my dad and my siblings, and that's not a transgression I can forgive after a few months, if at all"

Hoseok hummed and our car went silent. I was grateful for the quiet, it gave me the chance to try to prepare myself for dinner. I still had mixed feelings about going because I'm always happy to spend time with my brother and sister, but they know I don't like their mother and I fear my feelings towards her will strain our relationships with each other. We haven't known each other for a long time but I do enjoy having and bonding with my siblings especially since I missed out on these interactions for my entire life. I hated putting them in the middle of this war, but it was impossible for them to avoid it without choosing sides, if they did, I expected them to favor their mother.

My mind zipped all over the place, memories of my mom then my dad replayed from when we were a family. For eleven years my dad was my world, we had a great bond. He was the parent that picked me up from school most days and always had a snack waiting for me. He and my mom would take turns reading me stories before bed, both doing the voices of the characters to make me laugh. My dad loved me, and I loved him so much and from the day he left until now I still felt intense heartache because of his choice.

I have asked why over and over again for years, thinking it was something I did-that I made him leave- during the most critical time of my young life I was without the man I loved most in the world, my father. Then to find out that the cause behind his leaving was someone that was supposed to love me and care for me as my third parent was a devastating blow. That fact is constantly on my mind, reminding me that my parents didn't leave me, instead they were taken from me. How could I ever forgive the person that robbed me on such a grand scale?

As the questions swirled around my head like a tornado, we got closer and closer to where my siblings lived, my emotions were in a whirlwind, and I was already having a hard time reeling them in.

"I can't do this" I blurt, my eyes darted around the car as I panicked "I want to go back home"

"A-are you sure?" Namjoon asked, with bunched eyebrows. I didn't answer because I wasn't sure, I was suddenly afraid of the outcome of the night's events.

Almost as if she could sense my turmoil, Minji called. I stared at my phone for a while before answering "Hello"

"Hey, um are you guys close?" She sniffled; she sounded like she had been crying

"Yeah, we are"

"Okay, just checking to make sure. See you soon"

"See you soon" the short call need. Hoseok had pulled over

"Should I keep going or turn around? It's your call, love?" he asked, looking at me in the rearview mirror

"Keep going" I muttered then exhaled.

We pulled up to the house ten minutes later and got out of the cars. Minsu greeted everyone at the door, welcoming us in. As the last one in the door, because I kept sending my mates in before me in an effort to build up enough courage to go inside, I noticed his eyes were red and puffy, like he'd been crying but he smiled anyway.

"Hi Ma-ri" he wrapped me in a tight hug, patting my back as he held me

"Hi oppa, are you okay?" I couldn't help asking when he released me

"Yeah, I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"You look like you've been crying and Minji sounded the same over the phone, what's going on?"

"Why don't we head in, everything is ready" he answered instead, avoiding my question. I decided to drop it for now.

When we entered the main area of the house, I saw Minji introducing my boyfriends to her mom, each of them being respectful and polite as usual even though they know exactly who she is and what she's guilty of. I took a deep breath and entered the room, Minji's eyes lit up when she saw me, much like our brother, she embraced me warmly and tightly.

"Hi unnie" I smiled and placed a kiss on her cheek, it was moist - evidence that was she was crying before

"I'm really glad you came; I know this is hard for you"

"I almost didn't" I whispered and felt her nod. When she pulled away, I was facing Mi-kyung, and for the first time since I met her, her eyes weren't cold and dark, they were soft and amber colored, and she looked tired.

"Ma-ri, thank you for coming, I didn't think you would" she said, and I noticed her bottom lip was trembling

"Mmhmm" was my reply

"Right, why don't we all have a seat and eat before the food gets cold" she gestured towards the pillows lined up on both sides of the two tables pushed together to make one long table.

I sat down with Yoongi and Hoseok on either side of me and Minji to the right of Yoongi and Jungkook to the right of her and Taehyung to the left of Hoseok. The others filled in on the other side of the table with Minsu sitting directly in front of me and his mom to his left. As I looked at all the dishes on the table, I noticed they were all of my favorites which shocked me.

"What's wrong?" Jin asked looking down at the dishes to see if something was wrong with them

"These are all of my favorite foods" I rasped. Kimchi fried rice, fried chicken, musubi, jjajamyeong, tteokboki, cucumber salad, galbitang, macaroni and cheese, crispy pork belly, japchae and grilled lamb skewers, the only thing missing was my grandma's collard greens. "How did you know?"

"Your father," Mi-kyung replied softly. "Dig in everyone"

Hoseok fixed my plate first then proceeded to gather the foods he wanted for himself. Everyone followed suit, piling the delicious smelling foods on their plates and diving right in. I could feel that my mates were enjoying every bite and even though I was pretty hungry I couldn't bring myself to eat, my stomach was in knots and my nerves were getting the better of me.

"You're not hungry?" Minsu asked when he noticed I had not touch any of my servings

"I am, it's just- why am I here?" I asked, looking right at his mother who swallowed what was in her mouth and wiped it with a napkin before speaking

"Ma-ri I have to apologize to you" I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "I know nothing I say will ever be enough because I took something from you that you will never get back and I understand that. You have every right to hate me, I deserve it and I don't ever expect your forgiveness. I'm sure you don't want to listen to anything I have to say after everything I've put you through with my selfish actions but please just hear me out and after tonight you will never have to deal with me again"

"Fine" I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. She got up and returned with a box and two envelopes.

Sitting back down, Mi-kyung slid the box over to me "We finally cleared out your father's stuff and I found these letters that he never sent to you" She explained as I took the top off, there were dozens of letters stacked inside.

I picked up one to see my grandmother's address and my name scribbled in his handwriting across the front of an envelope that had turned yellow from time. I opened it and pulled out a three-page letter dated from five years ago, another from just last year, another wishing me a happy sixteenth birthday and another from the day after my mother took her life. The letters spanned all the years after he left us, from when I was eleven years old until just a few months before died. I didn't even realize I was crying until the tears splashed on my hands as I sifted through the box pulling out handfuls of envelopes at a time. Yoongi collected some that spilled off my lap into the space between us.

"Why-why didn't he mail them?" I choked out

"I can't answer that Ma-ri," Mi-kyung frowned. I raised my eyes to meet hers and saw them gloss over "Your dad loved you so much"

"I got it baby" Hobi placed his hand on mine which was shaking. He took the letters and placed them back in the back and set it on the floor behind us then weaved his fingers through me, holding my hands to help me calm down.

Mi-kyung laid two envelopes on the table, one marked with a capital A and the other with a B. I looked at them and her several times, confused as to what they meant.

"Choose one" she said with no explanation

"What are they for?" she shook her head and pushed them closer to me

"Choose one" she repeated herself, I looked around the table to see the guys just as confused as I was, but my brother and sister had silent tears streaming down their reddened faces "Please"

My hand hovered over A, but Minsu closed his eyes, fatter tears slipped from under his lids so I floated over B, but he didn't seem happier, so I went back to A. I pulled the envelope closer, so she removed the other from the table.

"What is this?"

"I'll tell you when I'm done" she responded and rested her hands on the table, by now everyone had stopped eating and had their undivided attention on us. "I was there the day your mom... the day she killed herself. I was coming to get you both and bring you home, but I was too late. She had locked your father out of her head, and I couldn't reach her by phone, as I was walking into the apartment building, I heard the gun go off and felt the immediate loss of her- we shared a physical connection while she and your dad shared a mental connection"

The new information gave me a headache, I shut my eyes and took concentrated breaths. Yoongi pulled me closer to him and kissed my temple while Hoseok rubbed my back. I was going to need all of them after this was over.

"When Won-Jae left to find your mother I wasn't mad at first, I was jealous because I saw her as my competition instead of my completion. No one but him had ever wanted me in my entire life, I am the fourth born daughter of five girls, my parents were told I was going to be a boy, but I wasn't so they were disappointed with me from that moment on, and my mother nearly died giving birth to me" she explained, and I understand the significance of her statement, 4 is an unlucky number in most- if not all- Asian cultures.

"That alone was like having a target on my back growing up, all of my sisters bullied me, and my parents didn't care for me as well as they did my sisters. My entire family called my "bulhaeng" and I was treated poorly by everyone including schoolmates and coworkers, for 23 years I was regarded as no more than an unfortunate mistake that wasn't worthy of love or basic human decency so when I met you father and found out he was my soulmate I was over the moon. I finally had a person in my life that wanted me, that needed me and was made for me- I was finally going to be loved. I knew I had two soulmates but I was completely content with just having Won-jae but he wanted us to be complete" Mi-kyung continued to tell her story.

"Shortly after we got married, I got pregnant with Minji and that's when the pull became stronger, your mother was calling out to us and us out to her. At that time, we still didn't know exactly who or where she was. We just knew she was far west, and I was okay with not knowing but once Minji was born your father's dreams started and I felt her more and more, I could feel her body if I concentrated hard enough, so we knew who she was and got a general geographical point of North America. You father insisted he be the one to find her and bring her to Korea with us, but my insecurities were speaking for me which caused us to argue about it a lot. I was afraid that he would choose her over me, at that time I was still holding on to everything my family had instilled in me from the time I was born until I was able to leave them; that I was nothing but misfortune, a death-bringer, unlovable and pathetic. I didn't know how to give love or receive, Won-jae taught he about life and love and for that I regarded him as a god, he was my entire world, and I couldn't bear the thought of sharing my world with anyone else even if they were a part of our destiny"

"But she was also your soulmate, she was not a threat to you!" I banged on the table "She was going to love you too... she would have also become your world and treated you like dad did but rejected her, knowing all three of you belonged together"

"I did and I regret it every day that I wake up. Carla made me feel inadequate because she was so beautiful, smart and ambitious and I didn't compare. I barely finished high school, couldn't get into college and was only able to get part time jobs as a result. I was plain looking and stupid with no support and no skills" Minji had excused herself and Minsu went to check on her, I wanted to follow but I couldn't move, I needed to hear the rest.

"By the time I truly and fully understood why I was wrong and how my stubborn behavior was hurting us as a unit the guilt had settled in, and I became afraid of Carla not accepting my apology and forgiving me, so I continued rejecting her but now it was out of fear. When your dad moved y'all to Korea, he begged me to go see you and make things right with her, but I couldn't face her. He was so angry with me, every day I felt like he was slipping farther and further away from me- at the time I couldn't see that he was doing everything he could to bring us closer. When he left you all, he didn't stay away because he wanted to. It was because I threatened to sever our connections if he didn't choose me over your mom. A year after he came back to us, I started going to therapy, I wanted to resolve my personal issues and become someone Carla would want to be with, so for two years I made it a mission to fix myself before I faced her"

My emotions were at 1,000, anger was still the most dominant, but I also felt pity for her, but it didn't overshadow my desire to lunge across the table and punch her in the face, repeatedly. She had serious issues but that isn't an excuse for the severity of her actions- someone literally died because of her.

"That day I had just left my therapist's office and I wanted to talk to her while I still had the guts to do so. I sat outside in my car for over two hours trying to figure out what to say. Something felt off so I tried to call her, but it kept going to voicemail. I thought she might've known it was me and ignored my calls. I remember seeing you coming home from school that day, when I saw you, I got nervous and sad. I had missed out on your life, and I robbed you of your father, your siblings and a family and for that I am so sorry" Mi-kyung's tears flowed like a river, her eyes were bloodshot red as she sobbed. Taehyung apprehensively touched her shoulder, and I could feel her shaking under his touch

"If I could go back and change it all, please know that I would do it in the blink of an eye." the snot-nosed, cherry-colored woman lifted her head and wiped her face with the back of her hand. Jimin handed her his unused napkin to use instead, and she covered her whole face with it.

I put my elbows on the table and folded my hands in front of my mouth. I wanted to say so much, tell her off, scream and curse but the words wouldn't come out. I was upset, livid, enraged, and every other word that fit the description but the only thing that came out of me were loud body rocking sobs. Seokjin jumped up and came to me, he pulled me up from the floor and carried me to the nearest empty room with a door and closed it behind us. My limbs circled around his neck and waist as I cried my heart out, he rocked me and rubbed my back, leaving kisses on my cheek to console and comfort me. Eventually the weight of everything sapped away energy and I passed out in his arms but before I was completely unconscious, I heard Yoongi and Jin in my head, telling me they loved me.

To be continued...

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Whew! I'm currently at a loss for words. There is a lot to unpack here.

How are we feeling after this?