We went back to Mi-kying's after everything was over, it was just the four of us. I was nervous because I didn't know much about my dad so hearing anything beyond what I did know made me anxious.

"Your mother and I were both of your father's soulmates" she said without a build up. Her eyes landed on me and turned sad "And I hated it."

"Why?" I asked with mixed feelings brewing inside of me

"Because I was jealous. I found out about you and your mother when you were around two years old Ma-ri, your dad just called me out of the blue one day and told me he'd found his second soulmate and wanted to bring you both home to Korea. I hated having to share my husband and when I saw a picture of her I couldn't believe how beautiful she was. I felt inadequate in comparison."

"Mom..." Minji sniffled then looked to me

"I know it was wrong but at the time I didn't care. I didn't care about the inevitability of the situation, I wanted him to choose me and only me. He tried so many times to come home but I wouldn't let him because of my own insecurities and selfishness."

"So you knew about me th-this whole time?" I asked, feeling angrier than I've ever felt before. I wanted to choke the life from her body.

"Yes" she answered truthfully, not bothering to wipe her tears away "I have always known about you but I didn't want you to exist, I didn't want you to be real so I never bothered to meet you or your mom. In my mind, as long as I never saw you then I could ignore you"

"Ugghh" I paced the room wanting to hit something or someone. How could she be so fucking selfish! I could've had a family. "So why did dad move us here when I was seven?"

"Soulmate connections can only be severed in death. No matter how long they are separated or how far away they are from one another the longing to connect or reconnect will linger until one of them dies. Your father and I's connection was in jeopardy, soulmate connections are like tree roots, they can dig deep into the mind and body so the stronger a connection the less time and space mates are able to withstand without each other. When the connections aren't nourished the mates start dying. After eight years apart I was starting to go crazy, it's a side effect of your soulmate's absence. Being without them can literally drive you insane so he moved back to be closer to me but even though I was literally losing my mind I still hated him for bringing you and Carla with him"

I felt anger, no I felt rage. A white hot rage that the sun would envy. Every word she continued to speak made me want to erupt like a volcano. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, that she sat on this secret for over twenty years without action.

"I know nothing I say or do will ever make up for the horrible things I put and your mother through, I know you hate me and I deserve it," she finally broke down with blubbering sobs "I'm so, so sorry Ma-ri" Mi-kyung's head hung low as her shoulders bounced. Minji and Minsu sat there completely speechless while I only had one question for her

"Is that why my mother killed herself?" She only cried harder giving me my answer.

You know that moment of complete calmness, the perfect stillness of everything around- the calm before the storm- you feel when you're reached peak devastation? Well that's exactly what I felt in that moment, like everything was as clear as crystal before it shattered into a thousand tiny shards. I grabbed my purse and walked out the house without another word. I calmly climbed in the backseat of the town car and instructed the driver to take me to the hotel as I struggled to keep myself sane. Once I reached my room I snatched a pillow from the freshly made bed, sank to the floor and screamed into it until my voice was hoarse and my throat was sore. My eyes were swollen and bloodshot red from the nonstop crying, I didn't move from the spot until morning. I didn't sleep, how could I?

My world had been flipped upside down and crushed all over again. My body was sore and stiff from sitting in an uncomfortable position for over twelve hours. I had to crawl to the bathroom because I had to pee, once I finished I stood up and turned on the shower. My head hurt so bad, felt like it was splitting in two with every move I made. I stripped myself and stood under the scalding hot water unable to register the heat that was raining down on my skin. I don't know how long I stood there motionless before I washed up but it must have been a very long time because the water was ice cold while I rinsed off. I rummaged through my bag to find a pair of baggy sweatpants and the matching sweatshirt, both black.

I brushed my teeth, avoiding the mirror so I wouldn't see how horrible I looked, then blindly brushed my hair into a frizzy ended ponytail. I went around the hotel room making sure I had all of my belongings. I swung my purse over my left shoulder knocking down a placard behind the dresser so I bent over to pick it up only to find a shiny gold locket. I picked it up and shoved it into my pants pocket so I could turn it over to the hotel concierge.

My body felt numb. I knew I was moving but I couldn't feel anything and it was strange. Yesterday was the third worst day of my life. As I leaned against the wall of the elevator I patted my pocket to make sure I had the key card when I felt the jewelry so I pulled it out and opened it making my heart skip a beat. On the first fold was a picture of my dad with Minji as a baby, the second fold was him with Minsu as a teenager and the third fold was him with me on my sixth birthday. I held it to my chest and closed my eyes as tears fell from my already irritated eyes. Hearing the ding of the elevator reaching the lobby I quickly wiped my face, shoved the locket inside my pocket again and put a mask over my face.

After checking out, I got into the town car I'd been utilizing to make my journey to the airport and leave this forsaken country forever. The closer I got to the airport the tighter my chest felt, right where my scar is. On top of everything I was experiencing emotionally I didn't have the energy to care about the physical pain. The car stopped temporarily diverting my attention until I was inside the massive building walking towards my gate.

"I can just mail it to her" I mumbled, feeling the jewelry bounce around in my pocket while I walked.

The line for security was long. There were so many people in the line I knew it would take at least an hour to get through. It was moving along at a decent pace though so I just waited patiently. Eventually I was able to tune out the cacophony of sounds around me and without even trying I remembered yesterday, everything about it was bad. I shouldn't have come back. I wished Minji had never contacted me. Speaking of, I pulled out my phone that was on 36% to see absolutely no attempts to reach me from Minsu or Minji.

Good. It's better this way.

The longer I stood in line the more thinking I was doing and I felt the seed of stupidity sprouting in my brain. No! No I won't do it... it's not a good idea.

FUCK!

As angry as I was, as badly as I wanted to leave and as pained as I was, I still felt empathy for my siblings who'd just learned the truth the same time I did.

"I'm an idiot, I'm a fucking idiot" I scolded myself as I got out of the extensive line "Excuse me, thank you"

I nearly ran to the entrance and hailed a taxi, the young man driving quickly put my things into his trunk. I slid into the back seat and gave him the address I needed to go to. I spent the entire ride wanting to ask the driver to turn around to take me back to the airport but couldn't speak. Why can't people read minds? Before I knew it we were outside their house. The driver unpacked my things and waited for me to get out but I was frozen. I was about to tell him to forget it but the door opened and Minsu walked out. He looked awful. His eyes widen with surprise as he looked back to the door then to me

"What are you doing here?" He cleared the scratchy sound from his throat "I thought your flight was leaving in a few hours"

"It-it is... is Minji home?"

"She had to go into work for something, why?" He shifted on his feet when a breeze sailed by

"I needed to give her something" I pulled the locket out and showed it to him

"You could've have just shipped it"

"I know"

"I'm sorry" Minsu blurted "I don't know what else to say"

"There's nothing else to say and you don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong" I shrugged about to climb into the cab again

"Will you say goodbye?"

"I have to get back to the airport"

"Please Ma-ri. We know we will never see each other again once you set foot on that plane, please just say goodbye to her"

I sighed and closed the door to the taxi and paid the driver.

"I promise I will drive you straight to the airport afterwards, just... please" he begged

"Okay"

He grabbed my bag and put it in his trunk while I got in the first passenger seat and buckled myself in. My brother got behind the wheel and checked his phone before driving off in the direction of Minji. My head leaned against the window as he drove, my eyes didn't focus on any of the things or people passing by. Everything was a blur to me.

"How do you feel right now?"

"Like I want to go to sleep and never wake up again"

I heard Minsu sigh and continue driving in silence. His phone rang as he stopped at a light so he answered

"Hey Noona"

"Hey can you pick me up? I got done earlier than expected so I'm ready now"

"Oh, sure. I was actually on my way to you already"

"Perfect timing. How is mom?" He looked at me but I had no reaction

"I'm pulling up in two minutes"

"Alright" the car stopped and I looked up to see an enormous building that spanned at least three city blocks and was nearly touching the clouds. Minji came out the front door so I got out the front seat to move to the back, her legs stopped moving when she saw me.

The pain in my chest was elevating and my breathing became labored. Simply moving my limbs was a chore.

"Ma-ri what are you doing here?"

"I-I need to give... to give you..." I was hunched over feeling like I was running out of air, like I was being suffocated

"Ma-ri! Oh no, no no no. Come on stay with me" she slapped my cheeks repeatedly "Shit!

"We have to get her to the hospital!" Minsu was panicking

"Wait! Wait let me check something" a crowd of people was forming fast

"Please" I wheezed with my fist full of Minji's coat.

"Noona come on!" our brother screamed trying to help me stand

"Amber, hey I need you to do me a huge favor... please go check on the members... JUST DO IT! Please... Who?... all of them? Okay... okay"

"Back up!" Minsu shouted to the nosey bodies closing in on us. Minji was still on the phone

"I know what's happening to them... I just know... I'm bringing my sister up... well I suggest you make them let her in!" She hung up the call with a grunt. My brother scooped me up into his arms and ran behind our sister who held the door open for him.

I was losing it fast, everything sounded as if I was deep underwater. I kept going in and out of consciousness while my body jostled around roughly in Minsu's hold, "Ma-ri please hang on"

Next thing I heard was lots of yelling and footsteps. I was laid down on something soft with my head propped up.

"I know but I truly believe they're trying to connect!"

"Minji you know I trust you by this sounds ridiculous"

"HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON? Damnit, look at her and look at them, LOOK!"

I tried to open my eyes but my eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds each. My head felt fuzzy then a sudden burst of relief coursed through my chest.

"You shouldn't be in here!"

"Please, we need to see her" a strained voice pleaded with the angry one

"Hyung, is that her?"

"Yes"

"She's our last soulmate?"

"Looks like it"

"She's beautiful" Despite the relief in my chest I was exhausted and could not stay awake any longer.