It's our third day staying here in the Land of Waves. Third day of their training which includes endurance training, tree training and chakra control. I tilt my head upwards to meet the shine of the moon above me. I guess, it's already mid-night but I'm still not feeling sleepy so I let myself wander above Tazuna-san's roof. I just sat here and mesmerize the beauty of the full moon above me. The three dumbasses were snoring underneath the roof while Kakashi's reading his perverted book at the second floor.

It's calming. I'm referring to the breeze tonight. Maybe the reason why I can't sleep tonight was because of my dream last night. It's the death of those who're supposed to be dead in the future. I began to question myself every single time. What if I change it? Does that mean something will happen? Of course, it'll become a domino effect thing. It's safe to assume that.

I... I want to save them. I want to save Asuma for Kurenai and Shikamaru. I want to save Jiraiya for Tsunade and Naruto. I want to save Itachi for Sasuke – Itachi deserves everything in this world. Itachi is the best of all time. Itachi didn't deserve to die in Sasuke's hand. Itachi didn't deserve every hate and pain that he received. But what should I do? Obito, as one of the main villains. He also didn't deserve to die, he didn't deserve to watch Rin to be killed by Kakashi. He's one of the lovely characters in this series but... but he changed. He's full of anger and hate. And then there's Madara, hate consumed him because of the death of his brothers, especially, Izuna. Thanks for Hashirama, he managed to calm him for a mean time but at that time, their villagers doubted him more than anyone else. That fucking Zetsu took advantage because of that.

I can't save everyone. I can't save Madara because I know, only Hashirama can do that in the end, and it hurts. Madara only wanted to be loved, to be able to create a world with his loved ones but his desires are making other people hurt. Obito also, he wanted to create a world, an illusionary world with Rin – the woman he loves the most. Rin who accepted him, befriended and never left his side. Damn, just how unfair their lives here? It's so dead end. I can't do anything, damn.

That dream of mine... it's the reality. Was that because I can't save them? If ever I interfere with the series, is there a good chance that the story will change? Damn. I'm so tired. My head is spinning like hell because I wasn't able to catch sleep. I know I'm being dumb right now, for not taking care of myself, I'm being an idiot. We'll be having our last fight with Zabuza yet here I am wasting my energy thinking things.

I don't know if the team already noticed the sudden change in my mood but I think not since I'm always away for training my Kenjutsu Skills and then helping Tazuna-san to guard the other workers alone.

I'm tired. For the past few hours I'm thinking nonstop. Oh, I forgot to add Lord third's death. That damn Orochimaru. Because of him, Lord third began to feel responsible for his student so he'll be using the Reaper Death Seal – in exchange for his soul to never come back. I have no plan interfering that event since his death is the start button of everything. Itachi will come to the Leaf Village with Kisame, Tsunade will come back and will accept the title of being the Leaf's Hokage. Its sucks, not to be able to do anything. I can't do anything without thinking first, I can't be reckless and just be meddlesome. There's a huge possibility of creating chaos in the future if I press the wrong button. Sigh.

"Seems like you're in deep thought." It's Kakashi's voice. I didn't notice his presence beside me. He's already sitting beside me while a book on his right hand. "Y-yeah" My voice cracked. "Want to share?" He asked without lifting his gaze on mine so I continued my own moon-watching.

"Hmm, it's just life is so unfair." And then I smiled. It's a painful smile that bears so much emotion. It's preventing my eyes to burn. It's seems Kakashi noticed that too so he put aside his book and joined me watching the moon. "You know, sometimes, I feel like I'm not talking to a 13-year-old teen, Kashina." He chuckled. Well, I'm basically 30 years old now. Add my 18 years from before and then my age now. I'm few months old with the others the reason why I'm 13. "You're a Nara, you have your family, complete family. You have good grades, good reputation, skills and everything but..." He paused for a moment so I shifted my gaze on him. "But why do I feel like you carry the problem that you shouldn't have?" Wow, nice so this is the Hatake Kakashi. Nice observation. Well, I do really have that kind of problem.

Our eyes met and I smiled. My oh-so-painful smile and then I looked back to where the moon is. "Who knows?" I shrug. "Well, my family is okay, we're good. Dad is a wise Shinobi while Mom's being a good housewife. I have no problem to them, they're all lovely. I cherish them as well as my friends – of course, this team also. Like what I've said, I'll do everything to protect this team" I'm feeling guilty, I know in the future, Sasuke will leave. And I have no intention of stopping that. It's the key of making him strong. But... but the pain... by just thinking, I feel like I'm having a heart attack. Kakashi stopped so I looked back, he's now looking down. He probably remembered his former team.

I patted his back. "It's okay to admit that it still hurt." And there he froze, little by little, tears from his eye drip down on his cheeks and I got worried. This is the first-time seeing him cry like this – in person. But I know, he doesn't need pity. So, I looked back to where the moon is. I just let him silently cry until he satisfies himself. I just sat there, silently, quietly listening to his sobs. I didn't notice that tears were also dripping down my face.

Maybe if I saved Obito, it could lessen the burden he's feeling. Or maybe if Obito could finally forgive Kakashi for killing Rin. It hurts. I can't bear seeing him like this. He's one of the feared and strongest man in the series and yet... he's here crying, vulnerable. This is Hatake Kakashi, under the mask that he's always wearing – is the fear and guilt. This is probably his first cry after the death of Minato and Kushina. It's his first cry after a decade or more.

"You're really a mystery, Kashina." He's now okay but his eyes were still bloodshot. He's now looking upwards, making an eye contact to where the moon is. "You manage to let me cry, huh?" Well, it's only me, Nara Kashina.

"Well, I thought of you as a brother. It's only natural that I care." And then he quickly looked at me with a wide eye printed on his face. "What? I told you, didn't I? I care. I care for you, I care for Naruto, I care for Sasuke, I care for Sakura. It's my weakness and strength that the enemy could use against me." I stated. This is the Ninja world. Anything can be use against me by the enemy. Family, friends or lover. Anything. A simple feeling can become your weakness but also your strength. But at some point, I'm thinking that having no emotion or by just being a robot is nice. But I know their fate, that's why I refrain killing my emotions. I learned from the best.

Kakashi and Itachi was the best example.

"You're definitely not a 13-year-old brat!" he hissed but I just chuckled. "Well, It's my mind-set. I can't do anything about it." And then we both laugh. If Shisui was still alive, he's probably here, joining me with Kakashi having oh-so-brotherly moments... I regretted not building memories with him. The first and last time I encountered him was when he dropped me off the Academy with Sasuke and Itachi. I refrained myself from seeing them but I'm always watching them from afar because I can't get attached, I can't let the pain grows bigger than what I've suffer. "Ah, now that I remember, I remember last time at the battle, you told Zabuza that you named your Katana as Shisui. Why?" Oh, so he heard that.

"You probably know Uchiha Shisui, right?" I look at him to ask him. His widen yet again eyes met mine and then he nodded. "He's my inspiration of personalizing my Katana. I only met him once but I felt a brotherly connection with him that I cannot let go." I smiled. I remember his laugh while having a sugar rush because of dango. "Upon hearing that he... he died because he suicides... I... I felt so much pain, the reason why I sent my Shadow clone to the academy that time. He... has the biggest impact of me even though we only met once." I can't speak naturally anymore. My voice was cracking because of my simple sobs. "He... he of all people loves the village more than anyone else. He put his clan and village first before him. He... he's such a fool, Kakashi-niisan." And there I breakdown. My silent sobs were replaced by loud and painful sobs. I could hardly breathe and my chest is hurting so I had to squeeze it to ease it for a bit.

Uchiha Shisui died unheroic just like Hatake Sakumo but he's a hero. He's amazing and I'm proud of him.

Kakashi just let me cry and didn't say anything. He just patted my back and let alone hear my painful sobs. I'm mourning over Shisui – again. Those painful scenes are coming back on my mind. I inhaled a huge amount of air to calm myself down. After wiping my tears, I looked back to the sky.

'Shisui, are you watching? I want to convince Itachi to come back... but I don't want to disrespect his wishes. What should I do?'

"Ne, Kakashi-niisan." I called him after the long silence. "Hmmm?" He hummed. "You're probably 25 or 26 now, right?" I asked him innocently. "Wow, Kashina, y-you guessed my age right, huh? Yeah, I'm 25 now turning 26, what about it?" He asked back. "Well, I'm wondering why you're still single? I mean, look at Asuma-sensei and Kurenai-sensei, they're settling." I asked, shrugging my shoulders when I saw him sweat dropped. He then cleared his throat before letting out his chuckle. "Hmm, Maa, probably because it's not on my mind." So, Kishimoto's right?! Kakashi's gonna die single!!!! T^T

Well, he's not really the relationship-type guy, ehh. But hey, that said, Kakashi kissed a woman in the show, right? It's the spy woman but Kakashi manage to unravel the truth behind because his Sharingan manage to uncover her code. Well, I think it's kinda cute and sweet but it's painful... Kakashi probably like the girl too, or so I thought.

"Why'd you ask? You're still a kid for that, ha" Oh, oh, I'm more than 13! Hmp! "Ne, Kakashi-niisan. I asked that because I thought of your future, you'll be probably tied by some green beast growing old together." Damn, I suddenly remember the scene from Boruto, when Guy and Kakashi went outside the village to grab some vacation? Was it? Or a mission. Nah, I forgot.

"What? You know Guy?!" He asked frustratingly. "Woah, woah, hold your horses Kakashi-niisan. It's only because Guy-sensei like to brag, actually to almost every villager of the Leaf, know about your youthful rivalry." I rolled my eyes on him. Well, yeah, I half lied since I already know that information, I just basically said that to mean that I heard it somewhere. "I suppose so, but I really have no intention of you know, relationship." He said that as if it's the most cringy phrase he ever spoken. This guy. He's fucking hopeless.

"You know what, Kakashi-niisan? Let's just rest! I'm tired. We're both tired. Let's rest." He laughed and nodded. "Now you're calling me Niisan, huh?" He raised his brows on me. "Well, Kakashi-niisan, I'll still call you the usual Kakashi-san when the team's present." And there I jumped to leave him alone to go to where my room is, Sakura and I were sharing while the 3 idiots were also sharing.

As soon as I laid my back on my futon, I fell asleep.

It's a wonderful night, isn't it?