Why does Val need to have the music so loud? And he plays these stupid club songs that you would just expect to hear at a party, but they're not even good. All people do is jump up and down and pretend they're amazing dancers because they can fucking jump. Congrats, so can every other functional human being.

No matter how loud I turn the music in my earphones, I can still hear the stupid song booming from downstairs. This is getting ridiculous. That idiot better pray for his life when I find him.

Pulling my earphones out, I get up from my bed, about to go downstairs to kill my brother when I hear people outside my room.

"Get back." The frightened voice is female and extremely familiar. It sounds like Amelia.

There is a thumping noise, and a guy says, "I'm trying to be nice." I know him. I'd recognise the slurring hissing voice anywhere. It's Ethan, the disgusting pig who loves to take advantage of girls.

"Stop!" I'm sure it's Amelia when she shouts this, her voice full of fear. I don't think before pulling open my door, seeing Ethan pressed against Amelia with his hand-

His body is flung against the wall and I don't even realise i've done it, looking into Amelia's glossy eyes. I want to reach out and hold her to make sure she's alright. I wish I could hug her until she feels better like I used to, but she'd hate that. I pull my hand back and hope she didn't notice.

"Who do you think you fucking are?" Ethan growls, making a move to hit me but I dodge it. The action and simply just the sight of him and knowing what he just tried to do makes me see red. I forget Amelia is standing here when I start punching him until he can't take anymore. My fist burns, making me feel successful and Ethan stumbles backwards.

I'd like to see that idiots body laying on the ground unconscious, covered in blood. I want to make him regret even looking at Amelia – no, actually, I'd like him to regret he was ever born in this fucking world. It'd get me in trouble though, and I can't risk getting into anything with the law right now when i'm already involved enough with my trials coming up.

Amelia's hands are shaking, and I know that there's no way i'm letting her drive home alone when she's upset. I couldn't stand the thought of her crying on her way home, shaking and picturing that beasty asshole dickhead.

After driving her home, I get back to my house feeling pissed at myself. I should have stayed, but what else could I have said? She wasn't going to forgive me. I don't even forgive me.

Just when I enter the kitchen to get a bottle of water, I find a very strange sight. Val leaning against the wall with tears streaming down his face.

"What's wrong?" When he doesn't answer I wave my hand in front of his red swollen eyes until they avert to me.

"Todo."

"What's everything?"

"Just todo."

"Go to bed."

He slides down the wall until he's sitting on the floor. "Buenas noches."

Why is he so fucked up? I couldn't even guess what he's on at this point. Grabbing a bottle of water, I give it to him and think about just walking away but my guilty conscience stops me.

He struggles to take the bottle cap off, turning it the wrong way until he figures out it works the other way. After taking a tiny sip he sits it down. "I feel better now."

"Drink más."

"I want chicken pakora."

I sigh. "I'll get you it tomorrow if you just go to bed."

"I want it now. I'm not tired."

"Where's Montana? I can't deal with your shit."

"No one wants to deal with my shit. You can just leave."

"No." I screw the cap onto the bottle and put his arm around my shoulders, trying to pull him up. He moans and repeatedly tells me he's not tired until I get to the stairs. People staring doesn't usually bother me but it does tonight when they're all looking at my brother and whispering as if he's a fucking disaster.

I sit him down on the stairs, hoping he doesn't move but then again I doubt he could if he tried. Walking over to Val's phone that's connected to the speaker, I pull the cable out, making the house fall silent. "Everyone get the fuck out of my house!" People just stare, their drunken minds slow and obviously not realising that I will personally pick every single one of them up and throw them out the window. "Move!"

Finally, they all start to move out of the door until it's just Val, Yasmin and a guy on the couch and Jace standing at the stairs next to Val. Jace sees Yasmin with the boy who's lips are attached to her neck, and his face goes red before he walks out and slams the door.

"What's your problem? Why don't you stop Val from hooking up with people? I'm older," Yasmin whines when I kick her boy toy out.

"It's different."

"How?" She stomps her right foot on the floor.

"Because you're a girl and it affects you more. I'm not getting into it." She cusses at me in spanish as if it makes a difference from english while I help Val up the stairs and into his room.

"What you doin'?" Val asks from his bed while I search under Santiago's bed. "You're actin' like Dad."

"I'm nothing like Dad."

"Yeah you are. He didn't let Yas see guys either. Wouldn't let any of us touch drugs like you're looking for what Ti has."

"I don't say anything about you doing coke. Barely talk about how much Santiago smokes or how much Yasmin drinks."

"Because you know you can't stop it." He pulls his covers over him. "Why don't you bother Marco for his video game addiction?"

"I'll get to it when I have you people under control." Once I've found the orange vicodin container I was afraid of finding, I stand up, staring at the one last pill in it.

"Das nut good."

I shut the light off in the room while walking out. The noise coming from Ray's room makes it clear what's going on, and i'm in the mood to go in and scream at whatever girl he's with, but I couldn't actually do that. Whoever it is doesn't deserve Ray, that's all I know.

+++

"Can you drive over to Amelia's place so I can bring her car back?"

Santiago lays on Yasmin's bed with her, staring ahead at the TV. "I don't do favours for people who snoop through my stuff."

"Did Val tell you?" That dick. After I helped him last night.

"No, it was pretty obvious you took something."

"When you went looking for it? Seems like you needed a new one anyway as you had already gone through all of those pills."

"Stay out of my business."

"You said you'd stop taking them."

"Go away."

"Why are you being a little shit? I'm trying to help you."

"I don't want you help, Alex!" He sits up. "Don't you get it? I don't need you to pry your way into my business when I don't want you there. Not me, not Yasmin, not Amelia, not anyone. Just leave us alone."

Santiago's words always hit me hard, and that's when he isn't even saying shit that's that harsh, but that. That was harsh. He knows how to hit me where it hurts, and that was the most painful place. I've learned by now though that when he says these things he doesn't mean them, he only says it to get me off his back about the pain killers. They make him act different and I hate it.

Yasmin narrows her eyes at his back, then lifts her foot and kicks it. I close the door and walk away.

Once i've drove Amelia's car to her house, I get into Max's who followed me here and he drives us back while he talks about a girl he met who he likes and I pretend to pay attention, but it's hard when Santiago has completely ruined my mood. I don't want to take it out on Max though. I've been trying to avoid that.

+++

Staring at Amelia in math will one day kill me. It's like looking at your favourite food when you're starving but you can't touch it. Not that Amelia is food, or anything that can be eaten. I mean, some parts are edible but-

Nope. I'm gonna cut my thoughts off right here.

"Alex."

"What?" I snap at Aarons without meaning it to come out so harsh. Everyone turns around and looks at me except Amelia.

"Pay attention or I won't let you back in my class." My hands form fists on the table as I try not to say anything back.

"Dude, just say sorry to her," Jace mumbles to me.

"It's not that simple."

"Sure it is. Say sorry until she has to forgive you. Break the world record for saying sorry the most times and tempt her with your millions."

"I don't think that'd work."

"What have you got to lose?"

I think about it for a moment, then rip a bit of paper from my notepad, scribbling the word sorry on it, then tell the person in front of me to pass it along to Amelia.

"It'll totally work," Jace assures.

Amelia gets the note, unfolding it. She turns around to look at me, giving me a short glare and crinkles it up in her hand.

"Okay so, it didn't work. Try it in spanish? She'll think it's hot, for sure."

So I write lo siento on another piece of paper, getting it passed to her. This time she doesn't look at me, just balls it up again.

"Damnit." Jace rests his head on his hand. "I was sure that'd work."

I narrow my eyes, getting another note passed to the front. She doesn't read it this time. I do it again. Let's see how much you can handle, princesa.

For the rest of the period, Jace helps me write the word sorry on over a hundred little bits of paper, and I stuff them all into my pockets. When the bell rings, I wait for Amelia to leave her locker and go to class, then put all of the paper slips through her locker vents.

"What the heck are you doing? Bullying your ex?" The girl flips her hair, laughing. What's her name again? Uhh. Chanel? No, Chelsea. That's it.

"Something like that."

"How you been, Alex? You okay?" Her voice is so sweet and fakely sincere, it makes me feel sick.

"I'm fine." I put the last slip into Amelia's locker, looking down the empty hall. "Gotta go. Late for class."

"Since when do you care about being late? Amelia really has changed you."

"Fine. I'll be honest," I run my hand through my hair as if this is going to be hard to say. "I don't give a shit about being late – I'd just rather be in class than here talking to you."

"What the fuck? What have I ever done to you? I've been nothing but nice."

"I don't like the way you talk about Amelia." I pull my bag over my shoulder and walk past her.

"You know what? People are right when they say Val is just a better version of you. Nicer, funnier, hotter, and a better fuck."

I stop, turning around slowly.

"Bigger dick," she dares to say.

"You had sex with my sixteen year old brother? That's low, even for you. Also, telling me he is nice, funny and attractive is a compliment to me. That makes me proud. So apologies if you were hoping for it to bother me." I shrug and walk away.

"Watch what you say, Alex! I can easily get your precious Amelia Roofied again."

I freeze. "You did that?" She smiles as if she's proud of herself, and I hope I can gather enough self control before my steps take me close enough to her.

"The pictures too. I can do worse."

I step closer and she steps back, her smile dropping. She can finally sense how angry I am, and I don't have much control when i'm angry. "You think you have some kind of power because you pull these sick pranks, but I think you underestimate what I can do."

"Are you threatening me?"

"If you want to play games, I can play harder." I manage to walk away this time, biting down on my tongue so hard I can taste blood. Who does she think she is? And bigger dick? I don't think so.

How can a person be so sick in the head? Trying to get a sweet girl like Amelia raped at a party when she had done nothing wrong. It's messed up. I don't get why she did it. I don't even care why. I could just fucking scream-

My hand aches when I punch a locker, and I'm reminded of how I used to have permanent bruises and cuts on my hands. It had been a while since I had any and, well that clean streak was fun while it lasted. Now i'm back to punching lockers.

+++

dayum. Who has the bigger d, alex or val? 😂

teaser: amelia gives in to alex's apologies

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