《The Devil I Love | Jikook Smut |》Chapter 63: I Love You
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Jimin pulled away from the hug with Namjoon and looked around the office he once grew anxious about. With that, he looked back at Namjoon and dried his own tears of joy. "Ah, I've been such a bad friend to you..."
"Are you still thinking about that? Jimin, that's in the past now! As your new director, I say you shouldn't apologize for that anymore!" Namjoon mentioned and made Jimin giggle through the tears he tried to dry instantly. "And for your first day working with me, go home and relax. It's been a long day for you."
"Namjoon, if you will become my director, who is going to be my manager?" Jimin asked as Namjoon made a smile and turned away quickly.
"Kim Seokjin only works a few shifts at the club. He's a great manager outside of that and has been looking around for a job to finally fit his field. I plan on giving him my position. I trust him with you," Namjoon answered and messed up the light blond locks on Jimin's hair. "Now, get out of here... you have a long day with Jungkook to explain everything. I'm sure he won't leave, I didn't."
"You know, now that I look back at that fear I had, I now know that he constantly fed me with that mindset to the point where I just believed it. Many years of manipulation does things to you... but with the right person in my life to give me that pillar of strength, who would have thought that all that pain would become nothing once I finally faced it all after running every time?" Jimin claimed and smiled. "I'll let you finish taking out the trash, I'm going to Jungkook."
"Have a great day, Jimin!" Namjoon concluded and walked out of the office to finally get rid of the Director.
Jimin took another look around the office before he dried another tear that fell from his eye. The painful memories didn't seem to haunt him now, he confronted danger and looked the monster in the eyes and defeated him for once and for all. Now, Jimin felt like he could actually breathe and smile without needing to depend on Jungkook for happiness.
After a while, Jungkook was in the kitchen cooking kimchi stir fried rice with the egg being set on top just like Jimin made it before, however, Jungkook wanted to make sure he made it exactly like Jimin did since he enjoyed everything about that day he spent with the one he loves. Two bowls sat next to the stove as Jungkook smiled to himself, wondering about Jimin and becoming concerned that he didn't sleep in bed with him the night before.
"I hope he doesn't come back and ignore me again... I've never felt so empty when it came to that! When he comes back, I'll serve him this and comfort him. It's the best thing I could do in order to cheer him up. I just hope he's okay..." Jungkook thought to himself.
The young man then began to serve the meal into separate bowls and set the sunny side egg on top of it to finish it off. With the egg sitting on top, Jungkook began to wonder if it was just like the one Jimin made that day. Jungkook continued to stare at it until he let out a scoff.
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"I don't think it matters if it's not the same as the one Jimin makes, he will enjoy it either way! Then we can talk and-"
In that second, the elevator doors to the penthouse floor pulled apart and Jimin was quick to step out. His eyes met with Jungkook the second he stepped in and without another word being said, their gazes locked for a second longer. Jungkook could tell Jimin cried on his way back, but those tears were only tears of glee.
"Jimin..." Jungkook whispered. The sound of the young man saying his name left Jimin to smile happily and jump into his arms. This time, he hoped to hold on and never let go. When Jimin jumped into the young man's arms, he began to cry happily and hug him tightly. Not allowing his hands to move in any way just to keep Jungkook in place. "Are you okay?"
"Yes..." Jimin confessed without another second to avoid Jungkook's question. "Oh, Jungkook... you don't know how happy I am... and how sorry I am for pushing you away after all this time."
"Jimin, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'll be patient with you, I promise," Jungkook mentioned and ran his hands along Jimin's soft hair. "There's no rush..."
"N-No, I want to tell you..." Jimin replied and dried his tears while his face was buried in Jungkook's chest. "I want to be honest with you before this friendship develops into something far greater. I'm going to let you in and I... I trust you. As someone who has shown me affection and gave me happiness when I never returned the favor the way you needed, it's time I finally confront this final step to being yours..."
"Being... mine..?" The words Jimin spoke left Jungkook to blush. The way Jimin's face buried into his chest in order to allow his wet tears to dry over Jungkook's white T-shirt, was enough to make Jungkook softly press a kiss over Jimin's forehead.
"Jungkook, loving and trusting someone... it's always been so hard for me," Jimin began. Keeping a grip on Jungkook so he wouldn't move away for more than a second no matter what. However, Jungkook didn't have any plans to do so.suddenly, Jimin's voice began to crack the more he spoke. "T-They must be so fucking blind. You don't know how much I hate that word... 'Angel'!"
"Jimin, shh... you're safe with me..." Jungkook whispered as Jimin tried his best to speak through the sobs that erupted from his mouth. "Let it all out..."
Those caring whispers Jungkook spoke allowed Jimin to loosen his grip while the young man finally found Jimin's hands within his own and began to intertwine his fingers with Jimin's. Soothing all the fears that sprung up in his mind and making them turn into nothing. As they held hands, Jimin still kept his forehead against Jungkook's chest and calmed down instantly. Allowing his own heart to race and his own cheeks to blush from the sensation. No longer pushing them away.
"It's so hard for me to open up to others... It's so hard when I trusted someone... and they harmed me. I trusted them with everything and they harmed me in a vulnerable moment in my life... I was never the same. Sung Joo-won, the Director, I was in a relationship with him for five years, but it was torture... even before when I was just getting into the industry, I fell for his kindness and he... he lured me in with many things," Jimin spoke and closed his eyes. "With him, I loved and trusted him... but he held my heart for ransom... he used it against me every time..."
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Jungkook's eyes widened as he looked down to see Jimin still keeping his face buried against the young man's chest. Almost as if he was ashamed to speak about it, but he was finally pushing through and Jungkook could only believe that Jimin was strong deep down. Even if he wasn't able to pin Jungkook down that day, he was still able to overcome his own fears and speak to Jungkook when he never thought he could.
"I was just fifteen when I showed up to his office. I was there with my father and being an idol is all I ever wanted and with the money my parents had, I was able to get it all to make it happen. The first moment I looked at the Director, I had a small crush on him. I was young, I wasn't going to act on it... but it did influence my choice in signing the contract with him. But along the way when I was going back and forth from home and work, he offered me a place to stay. That was the penthouse. He would then give me many things and that only made me fall for him more. He knew... he knew my childish crush and was intrigued. All those endless spoiling, gifts after another to wow me and then this penthouse... but the only catch was that he could live in the other room..."
"So... the empty room was yours?" Jungkook asked carefully. Catching onto the way Jimin was preyed on from the very start and that only caused Jungkook to fit in the puzzle pieces to the bigger picture. "Did he... harm you in there?"
"Yes..." Jimin replied and gulped. Gathering up the courage he had to continue. "My father thought I was living alone in that penthouse, but he was wrong. When I reached twenty, the feelings I had for him developed into love. He was my first love... or so I thought. It was the peak of my career when everyone began to call me an angel. I had to be perfect in every way and that's when the world became so fond of me.... I was doing many good things and the Director made sure I stayed in character. Of course, he loved it when I stayed in character. He absolutely adored the perfect... innocent... naive... weak little image I carried and wanted to see it more. Every time I would speak about it, go against it, he would hurt me in many ways I can't... I can't even explain. He wanted me weak so it would be easier to take advantage of me."
"This is why you didn't like it when I called you angel... hm? I understand that.. I'm sorry..."
"Don't apologize, you didn't know..." Jimin whispered and finally raised his head to lock his eyes with Jungkook. "I don't want to be called that word... not anymore. Do you know why I was like that towards you? Why I tempted you, why I'm nowhere near the image I show to the world? It's because I try so hard to separate myself from it. I don't want you to see me as the stupid, weak, and naive little angel I was before... I never want to be like that man; Park Jimin; South Korea's little angel! I'm nothing like him so please... Please call me anything but that! I don't want to be reminded of a time I was weak... a time I was taken advantage of and called that word many times against my ear... I don't want to be reminded of a time I almost claimed my own life from the pressure of the world and the abuse I went through with someone I loved and trusted."
"Jimin, you can't say that you don't want to be that man, Park Jimin. You are you... Park Jimin is a strong, amazing, charming man. Not weak or naive. That was the past, you've grown so much now and I know the past will never change... but don't beat yourself up for something you couldn't control, for something you couldn't stop," Jungkook said and began to cry. "I h-hate that it happened to you... and I wish I could have saved you then... but here I am now. To protect you and listen to you."
Jimin looked at the tears Jungkook began to shed as their hands never ceased to pull away. Jungkook was here. Denying Jimin's doubts of him running away or using this against him as he stood there, holding his hands through it all. Jimin was so used to facing his trauma alone, but now, he faced it with strength and with Jungkook holding his hands through the path he always ran away from. With Jungkook, he began to walk down that lane with someone far much more than just a sex partner or a friend, but a lover and a hero in his eyes.
"Jungkook, I'm sorry that I avoided so much! I wanted to keep you close but never close enough to scare you with my past. I wanted to love and trust you then, but I was scared. Now, I'm no longer afraid..." Jimin whispered and raised his hands to cup Jungkook's face in order to dry his tears with his soft thumb. "I won't hide the fact that I tried to manipulate you before... how I tried to spoil you when you didn't like it and use sex just to avoid many things.. but I promise to be more open with you... I promise that because... even when I tried to suppress these feelings from you, it just kept growing to the point where I can't hide it anymore..."
"What is it?" Jungkook asked. Running his hands up Jimin's waist and setting it there to look into his eyes.
"My love and trust for you. I trust you, Jungkook.... And "
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