Darkest Hero

I

have once more returned to this story after a break of (checks notes) 22 days oh what the fuck. I'm way behind schedule! I missed just over 3 weeks of writing this!

Questions and answers as always.

Q: make up your mind is this a comedy or a tragedy?!

A: both. Want to know what this genre is? Its called dark comedy, examples of this are Happy tree friends, Hellsing Abridged, What we do in the shadows and Beatlejuice. Characters will die and it will be in comedic or ironic ways much like the fat man who ate until he exploded after saying he would do so if he ate one more bite in the monty python flying circus.

Q: is izuku a furry now?

A: he is a demon technically and given how varied people get in the BNHA universe its probably normal, I mean look at Tsuyu and Tokoyami if you want two easy examples of this.

Q: Can you please just get rid of the explosive idiot?

A: I will don't worry but it won't be just yet, wait for the sports festival and hosu incident segments.

Q: uh, what ever happened with Izuku's father?

A: dead as a doorknob and is a zombie in hell.

Q: is the mono-moron related to killjoy or Vex?

A: No, also who is vex? Do you mean Vox? If so then no aswell.

Q: Who the hell bedded killjoy?!

A: probably Vox.

Q: Can we get more tormenting Mineta scenes?

A: sure, have one this chapter too, wasn't going to originally but this seem like fun.

Chapter 26: Dorms Night

Aizawa could only glare at the trashed dorm commonroom where two students were imbedded into the wall, one without shoes or pants, the other with only their ass hanging out, and the imp known as Blitz was dangling from the ceiling by his horns. A rather pissed off grey and black hellhound was stalking back and forth in the kitchen while Mei just continued eating a bowl of rice at the table while working on some new blueprints despite it almost being 8pm.

"I'd ask for help but I'm happy to be out of her reach for now." Blitz deadpanned as he kept his legs tucked in so his pissed off daughter couldn't just pull him down.

"Ill grab a chair if you don't explain what the fuck happened." Aizawa deadpanned at the imp.

"You're bluffing." Blitz scoffed. Aizawa raised an eyebrow as he nudged a chair with his foot making the imp freak out. "Ok! Ok! I'll talk!"

"Well?" Aizawa asked after several seconds of silence.

"Long and short? A bitch called killjoy tried to steal my daughter away from me and my only viable option was to marry her off or atleast have her engaged." Blitz explained only to yelp in fear as a knife, three forks and a salad spoon barely missed his head and imbedded in the ceiling around him. "She did NOT take it well. Especially since it now means I can plan the wedding!" He finished with almost child like glee.

"To problem broccoli child?" Aizawa sighed when Blitz merely nodded. "And who is stuck in the wall exactly?"

"I don't know, some robotic arm brat with glasses and some blonde brat who fell through the ceiling ass naked, Loona panicked and punched him into the wall." Blitz replied as a ominous creaking was heard. "Oh fiddlesticks." He uttered before he fell from the ceiling and onto the table with a loud bang.

"YOU'RE DEAD DAD!" Loona shouted as she charged the imp on all fours making him scream and run upstairs.

"Huh?" Mei asked as she finally looked around. "Where did everybody go?"

"Hatsume, get some fucking rest." Aizawa groaned, feeling like a massive hypocrite for doing so but even he had to admit that girl had a problem with not sleeping and she only just arrived that morning!

A loud crash of splintering wood was heard before shouting started along with the sounds of blitz screaming out for mercy from his daughter. Running up the stairs after them Aizawa quickly found blitz being slammed around like a ragdoll by his angry daughter while Mina and Tetsutetsu was cheering her on. The rest of the class was pushed as far back from the fight as they could, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. Only Mei, Iila (who was stuck in the wall downstairs) Izuku, Momo and Charlie from his class wasn't present.

"Ashido! Stop encouraging them. You two, get the hell out of the dorms now." Aizawa snarled as his eyes glowed red and his hair floated in the air.

"Woo mummy I don't wanna ride that again." Blitz groaned in a semi dilerious stated as he tried to stop the room spinning from his perspective.

"Asshole." Loona snarled as she huffed and stormed off down the stairs.

"Oh man my door." Mina groaned as she looked forlornly at the destroyed door that littered a good third of her floor now.

"Ill have cementos replace it in the morning Ashido." Aizawa stated bluntly.

"Next time it happens I'll call the family lawyer about whoever supplied you guys the doors." Mina huffed grumpily. She had seen the sticker on the newly installed door that was garenteed under warranty to survive a car slamming into it. She knew there was no way a hellhound could produce enough force to break one at Loona's size.

"Trust me I have tried." Aizawa replied as he used his capture scarf to drag the potentially concussed imp out of the room. He remembered how many doors they had gone through over the four years of him being a teacher and he was starting to wonder why Nezu kept buying them given they broke much easier than advertised.

"So...that just happened." Jirou stated as she watched her teacher drag the stage individual out of the room.

"Uh, you okay?" Mina asked a near catatonic Kendo who was rocking back and forth on the floor.

"Never go back to fazbears. Never go back to fazbears. Never go back to fazbears." The red haired teen repeated as she hugged her knees to her chest.

"Wasn't that the pizza place that was burnt down?" Sero asked softly.

Bakugo scoffed dismissively. "Fucking big hands probably got scared of the robots and freaked when she saw the mutt."

[Meanwhile in hell]

A purple humanoid demon with glowing whitish yellow eyes sneezed loudly scaring the crap out of the purple grape haired demon he had been following for the past 5 minutes.

"Fuck me." The man groaned as the midget dove into the vents. "Eh screw it, Mangle will have fun with him."

He shrugged and continued on with his shift of tormenting the few souls who didn't escape the arson attempt and were now bound to hellish recreations of the animatronics dubbed "nightmares" by the midget when he first saw what was once Foxy.

All too soon the sound of horrified screams echoed through the vent making the man laugh to himself.

[Back on Earth]

Charlie groaned as she hit her head against her desk in frustration. This last month's bills for the hotel included the usual for gas, water, electricity and taxes (a high as caine 30%). What was the cause of her annoyance was the increased spendature on liquor and hazelnut cookies. She just knew Husk had a poker night again, it happened every bloody time.

"Something wrong charls?" Vaggie asked as she looked up from her homework, yeah it was the first day and they had homework annoyingly.

"Husk had a poker night again." Charlie sighed.

"He really should know better." Izuku shook his head, barely looking up from the lament configuration Momo had given him to try and break, so far all he had managed was to break his own tools judging by the amount of snapped knives, dented hammers and a wrench tossed to the side.

"Isnt the point of the hotel to stop them sinning not encourage it?" Ibara asked the blonde demon.

"It is but it doesn't stop them sadly, its better to slowly work them out of their habits or they'd go insane or more insane as the case can be." Charlie explained briefly.

"I think I need a knew crowbar." Izuku uttered as he glared at the lament configuration which had somehow snapped the crowbar in half when he tried to break it open.

"Or a hydrolic press." Vaggie added as she blushed and threw a bemused look at Izuku who was starting to sweat slightly from his efforts to destroy the cube making his white undershirt cling to his body.

"Well it may work but giv-WHATTHEFUCK?!" Izuku screeched as he spun around looking about the room.

"Izu?" Charlie asked in concern.

"Its the music again!" Izuku replied before the door was booted open by a terrified Momo, swords and knives emerging from her skin in a defensive manner. vaggie had instantly summoned her lurge spear and Charlie pulled her apple trident from thin air, all of them waiting for the inevitable shitstorm.

"Not again." The black haired cenobite vowed with a slight quiver to her voice.

[Elsewhere]

"Hey kurogiri I think this fucking thing finally starting doing shit." Shigiraki grinned as he sat at the bar, the puzzle box was playing a simple tune now.

"Wonder what it sounds like when its fully solved." He hummed as he tried to figure out what else of the hundreds of moving parts would need to be turned next as the music slowly died down from inaction.

"Hmm, must be a wind up style of puzzle." Kurogiri hummed while cleaning a class with a old rag. "Perhaps we shall leave it for later, we do have a mission tomorrow remember?"

"Ugh fine." Shigiraki groaned. "Piece of shit puzzle doesn't even play 8 bit music."

End.

Thoughts?

What should happen with Mayberry?

Anyone you guys want to see paired with Shoto?

Anyone else for izuku's pairing?

Currently it goes as follows:

Charlie (active)

Vaggie (active)

Ibara (active)

Momo (not yet)

Loona (not yet)