When Nerluce woke, the first thing he noticed was he had a splitting headache.

Cursing himself for overusing his Magick, he reached for the medicine Taayir had given him all those years ago - and was willing to refill whenever Nerluce asked - only to realize he didn't have it on him. The sachel of medicine was still in Ethera. It had probably been thrown out by now. Nerluce groaned, both at the pain of his headache and the loss of the medicine his beloved teacher had given him.

Drowsily, Nerluce sat up. There was probably someone who could replace it. Or at least find him something to dull this pain. He groaned, rubbing his head. What had Taayir had him doing yesterday? He couldn't even remember... No that wasn't right. Nerluce was in his room. Covering his body were white sheets embroidered with red koi. That was enough proof of that. Taayir couldn't have been making him do drills. Even if she was, Nerluce knew his limits.

He hadn't had this type of headache in... over a year. He was more careful. So what in the world had he done? He turned his head and looked outside. A cool breeze blew in. Winter would be here soon. Nerluce didn't much care for winter, but he did enjoy fall. The orchards probably still had a couple of apples if he went looking. And the wine always seemed to taste better on cold days.

The door to Nerluce's room opened and he offered a weary smile as a servant entered. She was pretty. Her face was almost perfectly symmetrical and her dark almond eyes seemed to sparkle with warmth.

"Good morning, Young Lord Hebikoti," the servant said. "I've brought milord some tea if he so desires."

"Thank you." Nerluce accepted the tea. It was warm and sweet on his tongue. It was a shame that it didn't do anything about his headache. "Can you fetch me something for my head? I think I used a bit too much Magick yesterday."

The servant flinched, slightly, and nodded. "This servant will fetch it right away!"

She left the room in a hurry. What... Nerluce sighed and shook his head. He'd been away from the Hebikoti Palace for too long. He no longer knew the right way to interact with servants. He'd probably been too casual or too formal or something by mistake. He groaned and buried his face in his hands. It wasn't his fault. He was in far too much pain to be worrying about the rules of etiquette right now.

Lady Okiachi would skin him alive if she heard that.

Maybe that's what happened. Nerluce had finally gotten a thrashing from Lady Okiachi. He might've deserved it. He wished he could remember what he had done. He searched his mind, trying to recount the event of the last night, but found... nothing there. That was no good. He had trouble remembering anything after he left Ethera.

Why had he left Ethera again? Oh... right... Coam had said something about Tilica. A war? War was no good but the countries of Ecekasuri were always at war with each other or within their own borders. Nerluce groaned again. War. He'd come back to fight in a war. When was he doing that? Oh yeah... that's what he'd been doing to get himself all beat up and Magick drained... he'd been fighting in a war.

Nerluce's cup clattered to the floor.

His eyes went wide as the memories of the battlefield replayed in vivid detail. Nerluce placed a hand over his mouth as his stomach suddenly and viciously rejected the contents of his cup. Nerluce gagged and tried to resist but... the tea came back up. Nerluce gagged a couple more times, heaving and emptying the entire contents of his stomach only to heave a couple more times with nothing left.

Shit. Nerluce tasted bile in the back of his throat. Shit. Death after death. Tragedy after tragedy. Violence after violence. Nerluce saw them all. He couldn't stop seeing them. His hands were trembling so badly he'd dropped his cup. He moved to pick it up but only nicked himself on the broken pieces. Shit. The blood was so red. The pain was so numb. Shit. Nerluce heaved a couple more times.

Shit, shit shit!

What had he done? Gods, what had Nerluce done? He had killed people. He had killed so many people... and he'd done it with- he'd used- gods Nerluce couldn't breathe!

He struggled for several more minutes, laying back down on his bed. He heard the door open and then close as reality blurred around him. Nerluce ought to find a sword. He ought to put it right through his heart. Aristide said that- Aristide had told him if he ever used that awful, wicked, cursed Magick again, the only way to atone and spare his family the shame was by killing himself.

Then again, maybe not being able to breathe was a part of it. Nerluce was being hung by the gods' noose. Shit. Nerluce didn't want to trouble them like this. He'd make his own noose if they only gave him the ability to... if only they would loosen their own... shit. Nerluce wanted to atone but he couldn't move his body.

A cool hand was pressed against his forehead.

"He has a slight fever," a woman's voice said. "And seems to be hyperventilating. His body has never been so without Magick before it's struggling to adapt."

"Should this one bring the medic, Lady Okiachi?"

The voice was more unfamiliar but Nerluce knew it, too.

Lady Okiachi and one of her two identical servants. Nerluce peeled his eyes open and saw that the other one was there too, standing at attention, waiting for directions.

"No," Lady Okiachi said. "Go into town and find a candy shop. Get a bag of chili-flake chocolate. They ought to have it."

"Yes, milady," the servant said, leaving the room.

"I need you to find as many spirits as you can," Lady Okiachi said. "Preferable nature ones. Tell them that this brat needs help stabilizing his Magick and body. Do not force them, but ask if any would be willing to donate their core's to help."

"Yes, milady," the other servant said and followed her sister ought.

Which left Lady Okiachi and Nerluce alone in a room together.

Nerluce couldn't remember a single time they were alone together before. He knew that Lady Okiachi resented him and his mother. What woman wouldn't? Nerluce and his mother were both physical, undeniable proof of how little her husband loved her. No woman... no person would want to feel like that. Nerluce had never liked her much either, but that was just because she treated him coldly and he returned the action.

But once... it wasn't like that...

"Do you... do you... 'member... what I said... what I said... the first time... we... we spoke?" Nerluce mumbled, half out of his mind in pain and completely unable to catch his breath and form a full sentence.

"I do," Lady Okiachi said, putting her cold hand back on Nerluce's forehead. "I'm surprised you do, though. You were barely up to my knee."

"You... kicked me..." Nerluce said.

"I did," Lady Okiachi said. "Some would say you deserved it. Your behavior was insolent, no matter how old you were."

Nerluce laughed, but as breathless as he was, it turned into a cough.

He couldn't stop coughing. He panicked, thinking for a moment that the gods' noose was finally tight and he was hanging and waiting but... he caught his breath. He gasped a couple of times over. Lady Okiachi pushed the stray strands of hair back. She stroked his head a couple of times before returning her cool fingers to his forehead.

"Your body is unstable, Nerluce," Lady Okiachi said. "No more talking."

"Ah... you said... you said my name." Nerluce smiled, feeling nonsensical. "That's nice."

"Insolent boy," Lady Okiachi scolded. "You don't know how to follow orders even when they'll save your life, do you?"

Nerluce opened his eyes. "Why... bother... I'll die... I'll die soon... anyway..."

"You will not," Lady Okiachi said, firmly. "Your body will stabilize. You will not attempt anything stupid. You will marry a nice girl from a nice family. You will have plenty of nice children so my daughter does not have to. You will never cheat and no one in the Hebikoti Palace will have to suffer as I have suffered." She sneered. "And you will only die when you are old, Nerluce. Powerful Magickians like you live long lives."

"Powerful..." Nerluce wheezed another laugh.

"I do dislike you, boy," Lady Okiachi said.

Nerluce smiled. "Yeah... I have not... I haven't... like you much... since you kicked... kicked the shit... outta me."

"I did not..." Lady Okiachi said and she must've been really worried since she didn't even scold Nerluce's foul language. "It was only a small tap. You needed to learn. And you did." She sniffed. "I am not your stepmother and I am most certainly not your Second Lady Mother."

"Mother... said... said they said... in the books..."

"Stop talking," Lady Okiachi said. "I am going to admit something that I have never told another living soul." Her proud eyes narrowed. "I am sorry for kicking you. And I am sorry for starting the torment on your mother. I never imagined..." She sighed and shook her head. "I was wrong. I made a mistake. Pain brings nothing but more pain."

The doors to the room opened.

Nerluce had no idea how much time had passed but it seemed too soon for the servants to be back... he must've drifted off at some point and woken back up muttering. The two women hurried into the room, each holding a sachel.

"The sweets," the first servant said.

"The spirit cores," the second servant said.

Even their voices were identical, Nerluce could hardly tell one had stopped speaking and the other had started.

Lady Okiachi accepted both sachels, her eyes widening as she opened the second one.

"How did you get so many?" Lady Okiachi said. "I thought we'd be lucky to get one or two... nearly two dozen?"

"So many of them wanted to help..." the second servant said. "Spirits of all kinds... I had to stop them before all of the nature spirits in our garden offered up their cores. They all agreed to do it for Nerluce or Lady Song's son or Kierli's Storyteller, though I am unfamiliar with who that last person is."

"Neither do I..." Lady Okiachi admitted. "Who knew the spirits could be so fond of a person..."

"'M spirit-kissed," Nerluce said.

"Look into it," Lady Okiachi ordered. "I need space."

The two servants bowed and left without a word more.

Nerluce blinked and the next thing he knew, something was being pressed against his lips. "Suck on this. It will make you feel better."

Parting his lips, Nerluce eye's widened with delight. "Taayir's... medicine..."

"No this is not your teacher's creation," Lady Okiachi said. "This is an old wive's tale... something that is made by mixing something common as a child's candy with something as rare and precious as a spirit's core." She pushed his hair back again. "The spirit core will help replenish your Magick and stabilize your condition."

"Thank you," Nerluce murmured.

"You are a pathetic child but one I have come to adore quite a bit."

Nerluce smiled.