Vanessa got in contact with a lawyer. It was a young woman, named Kristen, who was specialized in cases like these. She interviewed Sara, Vanessa and me. After a couple of days she called me up.

"Kristen! How are you. Do you have an update on the case?"

"I do actually. I've reviewed all the facts and your interviews. I don't have good news. I wanted to call you, so maybe you could talk to Sara."

I sighed, dreading what was about to come. "What is it?" I asked.

"Well, there are a couple of allegations being made. The first one, which might be the most difficult to prove, is the abuse. It has been 6 years. Any physical signs of abuse are all gone."

"You have V and I as witnesses right?"

"Yes, but it's your word against his. You could be making all of this up."

"We have no reason at all to ruin the guys life. We didn't even know him and I'm a married man. It's not like I was after Sara."

"I know. I know. And It's definitely worth something, it's just gonna be a tough one to prove. We're lucky it's a combination of multiple allegations. It would be impossible to get him arrested for just the abuse, but with everything combined we have a chance."

I sighed loudly. "What about the other allegations?"

"Well with the allegation of rape it's the same thing. Tough to prove after so many years. And unfortunately Sara is gonna have to admit she didn't tell him about Evie. Then there's the allegation of stalking. It definitely is a lot easier to prove, but if he isn't convicted of the other allegations he might get away with this too. Finding out about a long lost daughter and looking for her is gonna be understandable in court. I hate to say this, but she really should have pressed charges earlier."

"Trust me, Vanessa and I tried."

It was quiet for a moment. "Is there any way of keeping Evie away from that man?" I finally asked.

"There is. We would have to prove that she's in danger when living with him. I know this sounds absolutely horrifying, but I'm afraid something needs to happen before they have any reason not to let Steve near Evie."

"What!? How can they allow that! Are they crazy!"

"Lin calm down. I know this is tough to hear, but remember, we still have a chance of winning the case at hand."

"How on earth am I gonna explain this to Sara?"

"I think you know that better than I do. I'm afraid that's gonna be your and Vanessa's task, but that's why I called you and not Sara."

"Yeah, that was a smart thing to do. I'll talk to her."

"Good luck Lin. I"ll keep you updated."

"Thanks." We hung up. I scrubbed my face with my hands trying to figure out what to say to Sara. How on earth was I going to explain that the only way of keeping her daughter safe, was letting something happen. It was a ridiculous reality, but it was the one we had to live with.

I called her to come over to my place. V was at work and the boys at school. I carefully explained her everything. She took it about as good as I had expected:

"There has to be another way Lin! Please!"

"We can still win the case. Kristen is an incredible lawyer."

"What if we don't win!"

"We'll worry about that later, okay? That's just not relevant now."

I hugged her tightly and she cried into my shoulder. Like I said: about as good as I had expected.

The court date got closer and closer. Because of the quite serious allegations that were being made Steve got arrested. At least Sara didn't have to worry about that, she already had enough on her mind.

A couple of days later I suddenly got a text from Sara, asking if she could come over. I immediately grew worried and texted her I was the only one home. When I opened the door I saw she wasn't crying, but I still didn't like the look on her face. She seemed deep in thought and her eyes looked worried, yet in a certain way relieved too. I guided her to sit at the dining table.

"Is everything alright?"

"Steve called."

"That mother-"

"Lin! It wasn't.....bad."

"What do you mean?" I was extremely confused now.

"We talked. For the first time in years we had a genuine conversation. He told me about how he always wanted to have a daughter. And.." I cut her off.

"Sara I see where this is going. Have you forgotten what he's done to you. Only a couple of days ago he punched you again. Do you really want him around your daughter?" I asked, somewhat exasperated.

"It just felt different now. He sounded completely different." I shook my head in disbelief. "Don't you think he has some right to see her too? It's been 6 years. Maybe he's changed."

"Do you really want to risk Evie's safety. I understand you must be having strange feelings, but you're gonna have to start thinking clearly."

"What do you know!"

"Excuse me!" I was completely taken aback. She was attacking me now!

"You barely know Steve! This is my life and Evie is my daughter."

"I know what he's done to you and I care about you and Evie."

"You don't understand! You think of that man as some monster, but I was in love with him for many years. Maybe I still love him."

"That's enough!" I stood up from my chair now. "Are you really falling in love with some abusive drunk again?! You have a daughter Sara! You're gonna make her go through what you've gone through? This isn't high school and you're not seventeen! You cannot put your obsession with this dude before your daughters safety. You're a mother! And right now you're being a terrible one!"

Now it was her turn to be furious. "I have raised that child by myself for years and you think you have the right to call me a terrible mother!" She shook her head. "Don't call me." With that she got up and left.

I tried to stop her "Sara wait! You can't do this." But it was no use. She slammed the door in my face. I suddenly became overthrown with emotions. I was still mad at Sara, but I also felt incredibly guilty now. This wasn't supposed to happen like this. I lef myself fall to the floor crying. I suddenly started seeing everything all at once. The night I discovered what Steve was doing to her. The conversation in the bodega. The confrontation in the grocery store. The night she come to our place completely beat up. The conversation we had just now. It all played through my head and all at the same time. I wanted it to stop. It was too much.

"No. No. No. Stop, please!" I kept repeating it to myself, over and over again.

Before I knew it I was hunched over the toilet and everything I had eaten that day came out of my body. The vomiting was endless and for a second I thought I was gonna pass out. When it finally stopped I leaned against the wall and let myself cry, but my head still wouldn't stop killing me. All I wanted in that moment was to drown the thoughts out. I wanted to feel completely numb. I stumbled towards the kitchen, still feeling dizzy, and got a bottle of whisky. I opened it and took a big gulp of the strong liquid. I closed my eyes feeling the alcohol starting to do it's work.