《What The Heck I Gotta Do To Be With You (Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader)》Moving On

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Although shock tore through every part of you, you ignored it and wrapped your arms around Evy, allowing her to cry into your shoulder again.

"Evy, I am so sorry," you said gently.

You thought that this was what you always wanted. To have them break up so that you could be with Lin. But you never wanted Evy to get hurt. You never wanted to cause her pain, that kind of sobbing-your-heart-out pain that she was obviously going through now, because of you.

"I swear I... I never wanted to hurt you, Evy. You're my best friend, and I love you. I'm so sorry."

She took a deep, unsteady breath, then pulled away from you. "I know," she said, hiccuping. "You always put me first in everything. Like that time we both liked that guy Josh in 8th grade and you set us up on a date. We ended up dating for two years, and you pretended you were fine with it." She let out a sad chuckle. "And I know you did that with Lin. But I didn't say anything, 'cause I knew you would deny it. But when I started to see how he looked at you, I..." She wiped at her eyes, smearing more makeup. "I just ignored it, hoping I was making it up, that I was just being paranoid, that there was no way my boyfriend had feelings for my best friend." She gave you a sidelong glance. "Obviously I was wrong."

Guilt filled you and stabbed at your chest. You felt your eyes fill with water just because of how horrible you felt. You quickly blinked away the tears before she could see. "Evy-"

"He never loved me, did he?" She said it more like a statement, and finally made eye contact with you.

"I... I don't- I don't know." You clenched your jaw.

Evy looked away again, water still falling from her eyes. "Well I know. He didn't." She looked down. "If I'm being honest, I don't think I loved him either."

It took you a moment to process what she said. "What?" Your mind was still buffering, trying to figure out how that could be possible. "But you-you proposed to him. You were going to marry him. How could you not love him?"

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"I don't know." She sniffed loudly, and you passed her a tissue. She blew her nose before continuing. "I always had feelings for him, of course, I just never... loved him." Evy messed with her long hair. "I guess I was just happy. Happy to have found someone who I loved spending time with. And you know how badly I've always wanted to get married. It all kind of just... happened."

You were silent for a moment. "Evy, um, why did you... after what I told you, why did you come to me?"

She looked over with large, watery eyes. "You're my best friend," she said simply, before burying her face in your shoulder once again.

Evy stayed the night at your house, not wanting to be alone.

You made both of you pancakes the next morning, and as you were eating, you decided to bring up a question you had as carefully as possible. "Um, so, when Lin, you know, broke up with you, what did he say?"

Evy took a bite of her pancake. "He said that he loved being with me, but he wasn't in love with me, and he couldn't marry me without feeling that." She glanced at you. "He also told me what happened between you."

A pang went through your chest. "He- he did?"

She nodded, taking a sip of her coffee.

You waited for her to go on, but she just continued eating. "But you still... came over here?"

Evy shrugged. "Like I said, you're my best friend."

You were at a loss for words. What could you say? Evy knew Lin cheated on her with you, and yet she still came over. "Evy, I am so, so-"

"I know." She looked over at you, and felt guilt fill you once against seeing her red, puffy eyes. "I know."

Evy left later that day, after ice cream and a few movies. You apologized a million more times, but she always waved them off.

"You're too easy on me," you had said.

"You're too hard on you," she replied.

You were in your dressing room that night after your Hamilton performance when there was a knock on your door.

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You opened it, and anxiety hit you when you saw Lin. "Hey," you said.

"Hey." He looked past you. "Can I come in?"

You nodded, then shut the door behind him.

"So..." He leaned against the wall, still in costume. "I'm guessing you heard about Evy and I."

You nodded. "She stayed at my place last night."

Lin sighed. "I hope you don't mind that I told her everything, I just wanted to be honest with her."

"No, it's fine, I'm glad you told her." You swallowed over the lump in your throat. "Um, how are you doing?"

"I'm okay. Thanks." He cleared his throat. "I just came over to apologize, for everything. I dragged you into a situation that you didn't need to be in, and I kissed you when I was still with Evy. That was wrong of me, and I'm sorry."

You held his gaze for a moment, his eyebrows tilted down. "I forgive you, although it was definitely my fault too." You paused. "Did you say that to Evy?"

He nodded, letting out a breath. "Yeah, of course, I said sorry as many times as she would let me." Lin pushed himself off the wall. "Anyway, just... call me or text if you ever need anything. Or just want to talk. I know this has all been a lot."

You nodded. "Same for you."

He gave you a weak smile, then pulled you in a gentle hug.

You held onto him, enjoying the comforting feeling of his arms around you.

You pulled apart after a moment, a small smile on both of your faces.

Lin left, and you found yourself letting out a breath.

What were you supposed to do now? You still wanted to be with Lin, more than anything, but you didn't want to hurt Evy like that. Not after everything she'd already been through.

Maybe what you really needed to do was just let him go. After all that happened, maybe that's what would cause everyone the least amount of pain.

Just let him go.

"Hey, Y/N!"

It was a few weeks later, ones that had been filled with performances and Evy. You and her became a lot closer, and hung out multiple times each week to get coffee or watch a corny movie. It was nice having your best friend back.

You also hung out with Lin occasionally, although both of you tried to keep a respectful distance, considering how you still felt about each other.

"Hey, Ev. What's going on?"

She had called you on a Sunday, once you had gotten home after your matinee show.

"Okay, I'm going to tell you something, but I need you to please not be mad."

You sat up a little straighter, bracing yourself for whatever she was about to say. "Okay...?"

There was a pause. "I got a new boyfriend!"

You were quiet, trying to figure out how you felt about that. After a moment, you decided that it was a good thing, that moving on past the whole ordeal was healthy, as long as she felt she was ready. "Really?"

"Yeah, I know it seems fast, but like I said, I was never in love with Lin, and this guy is so great, you would love him." She paused. "Do you hate me?"

"No, of course not!" You answered quickly. "As long as you feel like you're ready for someone new, I'm happy for you."

"I do. Thanks, Y/N." You smiled. "Are we still on for sundae night tonight?"

"Of course."

"Good. Oh, and Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"If you want to date Lin, you can."

Surprise hit you. "What?"

"You can go out with him. I don't have feelings for him anymore, and I know you love him. You can date him. It won't hurt me, I promise."

You sat there, frozen, taken aback.

"What are you waiting for?"

"What?"

"Go get him!"

A smile slowly spread across your face. "Really?"

"Yes! Go!"

"Thanks, Evy! You're the best!"

"I know!"

You hung up and ran over to your front door, grabbing your car keys, your heart beating loudly in your chest.

Go get him.

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