t's not until we're home that I work what Niko called my magic. I'd been tempted to forgo the sleepover and spend the evening looking at my training notes, but maybe the sleepover's my chance to get through to Mom once and for all.

The magic involves sitting Mom in the kitchen, breath held, and saying, "Niko and Vanessa are having a sleepover tonight. Not only would I like to go, but I'd like to ride my bike there."

I hold my breath in the silence that follows. It's a brave thing to say, but I'm still on a high from the race this morning. How can she say no?

The silence extends, which makes me uncomfortable. She tilts her head to look toward Dad, who is staring at the floor like he's Switzerland. It must be hard having to choose a side. He knows first-hand what it's like to love racing, but he also knows the tragedy it brings.

"I'm nearly eighteen," I say to fill the silence. Maybe now isn't the time to keep talking, but I can't stand the tension. "I know that I lied, but I'm too old to be grounded. And actually, grounding hasn't been proven to be an effective form of punishment. It can actually drive a wedge between parents and teenagers." It's true, too. I'd Googled on the way home.

Her eyebrows furrow, her mouth contorted into a delicate frown. If there is one thing that scares my mother the most, it's the thought of losing her family.

"All right," she says, looking to Dad, and he gives her a reassuring nod. "You're no longer grounded, and you can have your bike back."

My throat tightens. Even though I should quit while I'm ahead, it feels like now or never. "What if I wanted to ride on the track?"

Her shoulders slump like she's already admitting defeat. "Something tells me that even if I say no, that's not going to stop you." There's this surge in my chest like her words have set me free, and then, "But you won't have my support."

My smile falls. It hurts that I've had to keep lying, but it hurts even more to hear the truth. "Are you serious?"

She extends a hand toward me, but I take a step back. "I love you," she says. The words come out powerful, weighted by passion and truth, but they don't seem to comfort me. "We both do, Roxy, but we can't condone you putting yourself in danger. If you decide to race, it's without our backing." She leans in closer, giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Have fun at the sleepover. Message me if you need anything."

I nod curtly, unable to speak. It's not like me to cry in public, but right now there's a lump in my throat the size of a tennis ball. I should be happy that I'm free to race, there's no more lying, but the tightness in my chest suggests otherwise. It's like there's always a trade-off when it comes to pursuing the things you love: I get to race, but at the expense of my family.

***

espite not being in the mood for a sleepover, I find myself surging down the old country roads in the direction of Niko's mansion.

It's been years since I've attended one, so I packed what I'm hoping are the essentials: toothbrush, toothpaste, spare clothes, and some old Mickey Mouse pajamas that make me look ten. Something tells me the low-cut tank top and underwear I sleep in are not appropriate attire.

As soon as I pull up, I'm in awe. With their Dad owning the track I'd expected the size, but I hadn't expected such grandeur. The building is white, covered in beautiful slatted french windows, which are fringed with ivy.

The driveway is filled with cars, which should have been my first clue. Still, I figure they belong to their ten thousand maids and pull up outside before killing the engine.

Backpack slung across my shoulder, I head to the door and find it already open. Clearly, these people are so rich they can afford to replace anything that gets stolen. I pass several rooms before the hallway opens up to a sprawling kitchen, where the granite counters are covered in hundreds of bottles.

That's when I hear it, a chorus of cheers, followed by an almighty splash. Nervous, I head through the propped open patio doors to find most of Parkwood's young adult population.

Around thirty people are spread across the vast backyard, most around the lit-up pool, with a couple in the hot tub. The rest are in the water or standing on the ledge, where they're cannonballing into the deep end.

They all seem to notice me at once. It's like that moment in a nightmare where you're giving a presentation, and you look down and suddenly, you're naked.

While I'm not usually one to obsess about fashion, I always make a conscious effort, but knowing this was only a sleepover, I didn't see the point. I threw my hair into a half-hearted knot, forewent the makeup, and my outfit of choice was sagging black leggings and a hoodie with Big Chungus on the front.

I back away slowly, but then someone calls my name. I glance to my left, where Niko and Vanessa are huddled on a sun lounger, dressed like normal people.

Of course they are.

When it's apparent my legs aren't working, the pair come over and give me a hug, but I'm still as a statue in their arms. "What," I say, as they both pull away, "the hell."

Niko frowns, which makes me want to murder him. "What?"

I give him my, don't play stupid with me, look. "I thought this was a sleepover!'

"It is," he insists. "My brother happens to be throwing a party at the same time. We were going to head upstairs, but Vanessa wanted to take a peek. Hey–" his eyes drop my hoodie, "Big Chungus. Nice."

I shake my head. "Don't your parents mind that you've got half the population here?"

"Nah, they're not here," Niko says. "They're probably on a yacht right now in Italy."

That explains a lot. "Okay," I say, "peek over." I grab their arms, about to usher them inside when I spot him.

He's over by the fire pit, sitting with Sam and some guys from the track in a hoodie and jeans. I hate that while I look like a slob who's just rolled out of bed, he looks effortlessly cool. In his hands is his phone, his fingers tapping away like he's messaging someone important.

The tiniest pang of jealousy hits as I wonder who he's talking to. "Come on," I say. "Let's–"

My phone pings. I pull it from my pocket and glance at the screen.

I stare at the message for a good three minutes. He's at a party, surrounded by his friends and half-naked girls, and he's messaging me about training?

Panic sets in as I look at my outfit. I'm suddenly jittery, like it's my first day of school all over again. I'm no longer the confident Roxy from the track, I'm back to being lost in the crowd.

"Seriously," I say, "let's go." Despite the fact Tyler is the last person I should want to impress, I don't want him to see me like this.

"All right, all right," Niko says, "we're going."

The dread dissipates. I think I'm about to escape unscathed when Tyler looks up, past the pool of half-naked people, and straight at me.

It's hard to see his expression from here, but I think he's surprised. I turn away, following Niko back into the house and up a flight of stairs. My heart is still pounding, which is ridiculous. Only when we've made it to Niko's bedroom can I finally breathe again.

"Welcome," Niko says, "to my humble abode. The only rule is that if you need the bathroom, you can't use my ensuite. It's...not girl-friendly at this moment in time. The main bathroom is at the end of the hall."

I shudder as I take in the room. It's large, no surprise, with ivy green walls, dark wooden floors and a floor-to-ceiling balcony with a view of the gardens. On the far wall is a collage of posters next to some polaroid pictures of him and Vanessa. I take a step closer, examining the picture tucked beneath the rest, of which I'm certain is a picture of five year old him and Alex.

"Is that Alex?" I ask.

"Yep. Back in our glory days."

Vanessa plonks herself on the bed before propping herself up on one elbow. "Just ask her out already."

He ignores her and moves to his console table, switching on the flat screen tv before scrolling through Netflix. "Vanessa's not allowed to choose on account of the fact she has no taste. Roxy, what should we watch?"

Flopping beside Vanessa, I shrug. "I don't mind Vanessa choosing."

Vanessa grins. Niko steps out to make some popcorn, and then the three of us fall into a comfortable silence as He's All That plays on the screen.

"This is bad," Niko says at one point. "Really bad."

"Agreed."

It's not long before my eyes feel heavy. I must fall asleep, because I wake up and glance at the clock to see it's almost three-thirty. Vanessa and Niko are snoring away, so I climb out of bed and grab my bag before heading to the bathroom to change into my pajamas. When I'm finished, I step back outside into a hard, solid chest.

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