Kirk's vision swam.

The world seemed to be tilting and unraveling beneath him, layers of reality peeling apart as Kirk's head throbbed within his skull. He could not process what his eyes had just seen—Spock was mortally wounded and the creature responsible was about to destroy his ship.

Images and voices begun to overlap in his consciousness. Chekov yelling that they were off course, alarms blaring as the ship went to red alert, Asmodeous snarling as his shadow creatures descended, Spock's broken body crashing onto the dungeon floor, his own voice echoing through engineering, holding Spock's injured head in his hands, his throat constricting as he tried to speak the words he could not say....

Somewhere in the dim cacophony of his mind, Kirk heard Asmodeus laughing—a deep, chilling sound that filled his heart with fear and settled into his bones like lead.

Is this how it ends? he thought to himself. The idea of accepting his defeat, having failed not only Spock but everyone on board the Enterprise struck Kirk even more profoundly than Asmodeus and his mind-numbing glee.

"You have lost, Captain Kirk!" Asmodeus triumphantly exclaimed. "Now there is nothing you can do to stop me!"

Kirk looked up at him through a haze of grief, anger and determination. In that moment, there was nothing he wanted more than to eradicate Asmodeus from existence, to banish this abomination that was toying with him and threatening every single person on the ship.

"And now, for the destruction of the Enterprise. Do pay attention, my dear Captain, for this is what your disobedience has wrought."

Asmodeus turned with a dramatic flair, eyes burning pits of evil. He drew his arms back until the room seemed to dim around his hands, as if he was sucking up all the light and energy in the universe. Kirk's vision began to shudder, his lungs screeching to a halt and his ears and throat closing in on themselves when suddenly–

An unearthly howl split Kirk's reality in two. His eyes snapped back into focus just in time to see something small and thin sprout from Asmodeus' chest. Kirk barely had time to register that it was Asmodeus' own dagger before the creature suddenly began to hiss and twitch, expanding into a ghastly cloud of smoke before vanishing with one, final, nightmarish scream.

As the air cleared and the room returned to normal, Spock was revealed in the same spot Asmodeus stood moments ago. Kirk's eyes widened as he realized what happened: Spock had removed Asmodeus' knife from himself and managed to stab the creature with it from behind. Before Kirk even had time to react, Spock suddenly lurched forward, falling roughly to the ground in front of him. Kirk watched in mounting horror as the Vulcan forced in a rattling breath, Spock turning to look deep into the Captain's eyes.

[: If you want some extra feels, now would be a good time to start the song Buying the Space Farm from the Into Darkness soundtrack 😉 — though watch out for the bit at the end bc it kinda ruins the mood lol]

[: Labor Of Love from the 2009 soundtrack also works]

"Spock..." Kirk whispered brokenly, tugging his wrists against his bonds once more. They still refused to budge, leaving Kirk powerless to do anything as his bond-mate faded before him.

"Ship... out of danger?" Spock rasped questioningly.

"Yes." It was all Kirk could do to reply as the tides of panic and anguish built within him.

"Don't grieve, Jim. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh—" Spock squeezed his eyes shut in pain, unable to continue. Though he did not want to, Kirk could not stop himself from finishing his statement.

"The needs of the few," he choked out, disbelief and terror threatening to overwhelm him.

"Or the one," Spock nodded. They locked eyes with one another. Although they were unable to touch, Spock could still feel the sensation of Kirk's mind against his own—the Captain's emotions a raging torrent of grief, regret, despair. Kirk felt Spock's steady determination, his calm acceptance—and though it should have brought him comfort, it only served to heighten his anguish as Kirk began to feel the bond slipping away.

Kirk was unsure if Spock was referring to himself or to Kirk as the one who was making the sacrifice. Perhaps, he thought, it is one and the same. Perhaps it always was.

"Spock..." Kirk's eyes filled with tears; he had no words for the things that he was feeling, the things he had to say, the things that he could not. All the unspoken promises burned like fire across his tongue. How could be possibly hope to convey the meaning of the one who embodied his entire existence? How could he tell Spock that he was all that made him whole, he was everything good in this universe, he was the only thing he ever truly needed, he was bright and soft and gentle and oh so beautiful and delicate and Kirk could not imagine a world without Spock in it. He could not fathom the loss of one so good and pure. Even now, with his dying breath, Spock's only thought was for Kirk—to comfort him and attempt to express his affection and gratitude.

With effort, the Vulcan's eyes drifted back up to Kirk's. They both knew they had reached the end. Spock drew one final breath, then said,

"I have been, and always shall be..."

And the light went out.

It was instantaneous.

And it lasted for eternity.

Spock was there. And then he was not.

Kirk stared in utter disbelief for several seconds, unable to process what just happened.

A tear made its way down his cheek, falling onto the ground below. Kirk heard the sound as it hit the floor—unnaturally loud in the harsh, ugly silence that remained.

Where Kirk had once found comfort and peace, his mind was now a dark, empty abyss—completely devoid of all feeling and life. The emptiness washed over him like an avalanche, smothering him under an unbearable weight and seizing up his throat and lungs. The effort of drawing in another breath became more than he could bear; Kirk wondered if he should even try.

All the words and time in the universe could not have described that single moment. The world seemed to grind to a halt as Kirk slipped into a dark, endless void, the great maw of eternity waiting as he surrendered to its depths.

Kirk's last thought was of how unfair it all

was, then suddenly, a great wave of agony descended upon him and time and memory ceased.

[: I JUST PULLED A DOOMSDAY* ON YALL LMAOOOOOO]

*from Doctor Who

[: Sorry guys I mean you knew the Wrath of Khan scene was coming oops]