: Fili x reader who gets anorexia

: The reader becomes insecure about her body weight upon looking at how flawless the elves are. She doesn't eat at all and Fili and Co. is there to help you when you get really bad and skinny.

: 1455

: This has self-hate, body insecurities and other sensitive subjects like anorexia.

Note: I had the anorexia process sped up for the sake of how much I wrote and I wanted to get the main points that I wanted to happen in this one shot.

this was requested by my twin

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"Have they got any chips?" Ori asked innocently and you giggled at him. These were the elves! Their diets were supposed to be mostly vegan, with the exception of a few meats of course.

"Try it! Just a mouthful!" Dori tried to persuade his little brother.

"I don't like green food," Ori said softly and he set the large leafy plant on his plate. You felt Fili, your lover, place a hand on you knee and you have him a smile to which he returned. You overhear des Kili to your right making goo-goo-eyes at an elf.

"High cheek bones, creamy skin," he described them and you looked at one of the elves to see if it was true. She was a brunette strumming a harp. She had lovely skin, her face was quite beautiful and she was skinny. You looked down at you tummy to see if it was the same....it was not– at least in your mind. You decided to let that thought slip for now.

***

You had been on the road for some time after you slipped away quietly from Rivendell with the others. You hung back with Bilbo as you walked.

"Alright lads, and lass, it's time for a real breakfast! That eleven food is nothing compared to what we make," Dwalin said and the whole company stopped for breakfast.

"Uh, y/n aren't you going to eat anything?" Bilbo asked you and offering you a cinnamon roll. You stared at it for a moment and your memory flashed back to that perfect, skinny, female elf.

"No thank you Bilbo, I'm not hungry," although you were. You gave him a thankful smile. And he squinted at you in confusion.

"You're sure? You haven't eaten since supper,"

"Positive master hobbit. Besides, if I do get hungry there's always left overs," you told him with a smile and walked away to find Fili.

***

"Y/n keep up! We have a further ways to go," Thorin informed you. You did as you were told and pushed forward although you really wanted to lie down. The company had just climbed down the massive rock the looked over Erebor. You wished that the Eagles could just fly you there, I mean they brought you this far.

You breathed heavier than normal, which was odd to you, but you didn't let that get to you. Fili looked over at you concerned," y/n dear? Have you been alright lately?" You snapped your head at him.

"Yes? Why wouldn't I be alright?" You asked behind your slightly dry lips.

"I just....have a feeling," he looked ahead," you haven't been yourself lately. I've noticed, Bilbo has– heck the whole company has," he whispered to you and you looked at the ground again," you're fighting is off and you seem like your tired....are you...uhh,"

You looked at him suddenly angry," am I what?" You said a bit loud. Fili's face got red as a few faces turned to look at him.

"W-with child," he said it so it was meant for only your ears. Realizing that his assumptions were wrong you laughed at him and he gave a goofy smile.

"You would be the first to know my love, but no I am not," you told him honestly. He let out a relieved sigh.

***

The company had camped behind a giant rock so Azog's pack wouldn't find you. You lie asleep next to Fili's empty bed roll.

"Get y/n up, we must be on with it soon," Thorin ordered Fili. Fili walked gently to where you lie and nudged you, but you did nothing.

"Y/n dear, come have breakfast, we're going soon," Fili nudged you again, but you still lie there. Fili's brows furrowed. He went to grab your hand and was stunned when it was freezing cold.

"Y/n?" The eyes of the company turned toward Fili's frantic voice. Fili went to feel for a pulse.......you had one,but it was slow. Why on earth would it be like that?

"Oin! Get over here," Fili called for the dwarf who used to tend to the wounded and sick.

"What's the problem lad?" Oin led his trumpet closer to Fili.

"I don't know: she's not waking, her pulse is so slow, and she's freezing," Fili handed your hand to Oin and he rubbed it with his warm fingers.

"Her skin is dry too," Fili watched as Oin used a hand to cup some of your hair. He rubbed it around in his hand as well," her hair is very fine and thin."

"What's wrong with her?" Fili asked worried my as his brother sat on his knees beside him.

"I suspect a diet problem, since food is what supplies hair and skin with the nutrients it needs," Oin wrapped a hand around the collar of your fur coat," I'm going to have to see her ribs," Oin silently asked Fili for permission and the prince nodded his head. Oin unbuttoned the coat and pulled your white flannel up to the bottom of your breasts. The sight was sickening. Your ribs were very prominent along with your hip bones. "Just as I thought," Oin looked at the ground.

You felt a cold breeze on your belly which was odd so you shot awake you were shocked to find Fili, Kili, and Oin over you. You saw a flash of white and put a hand to your head to stop the world from spinning. "W-what's going on? Are we....we leaving?" You said weakly.

"Y/n dear, there's no good way to tell you this," he took your cold hand," you have a slight problem y-" he was cut off by Oin.

"More like a major problem–er sorry lad," he apologized.

"What I'm trying to say is, you need to eat more," he cupped your cheek.

"What?! I'm perfectly fine! Am I not good enough for you?" You ripped your hand out of his and scooted back. Fili stared at you in hurt and shock– all of the company was staring at you.

"Y/n I didn't mean to-" you cut him off.

"Mean to what? Make me mad? Sure I may not be the best fit, but isn't this enough?" You looked at yourself. You still saw the chubby dwarf you were.

"Y/n you are sick and I mean that in the best way possible. You have an illness that requires you to eat more food," he tried to inch toward you. You saw tears forming in his eyes.

"I'm not sick Fili! I'm just tired! "

"Lass, not eating enough is making you this way. You are ill and you need food immediately, when was the last you ate?" Oin asked you.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," you crossed your bony arms.

"As of now we're bearing you as a burden y/n. You keep this up and you will weigh us down," Thorin said coldly and Fili shot him a glare. You looked down again at yourself.

After a moment you spoke," I just wanted to be like the elves," hot tears came to your eyes now.

"Why on earth would you want to be like the elves lass?" Bofur asked you. You placed a hand on your stomach.

"They're.....pretty, they have high cheek bones," you saw Kili look at the ground ashamedly," and they're skinny," you finished as a tear rolled down your face. Fili went to you and cradled led you to his chest.

"There there my love. I loved you just how you were. You did not have to go to such extremes to look beautiful," he let you sob into him at his words.

"Bofur, get y/n a roll," Kili ordered but Oin cut in before Bofur could act.

"Half of a roll! She needs introduced to food slowly; too much food could make her body go into over drive and she would most certainly die," Oin said the truth.

Bofur crouched to you and handed you the half bread roll. You took it slowly in your hand. The smell of the bread was almost revolting to your nose, but you did as you were told and took small bits. The company let out s relived sigh as you ate.

"If you ever need to know that you are beautiful, come to me. If you ever feel like you are not perfect, know that I love you just how you are y/n. I wouldn't have you changing for me, even if the world depended on it. There is nothing wrong with you y/n, you are flawless," Fili wiped your tears. And you gave him the tightest hug you could manage.