Chapter Thirty-Seven

Goodbye Letter

I was wandering around the house while Chris tried calling my dad again. I walked into my mum's room and then into the room he was using. I noticed a sheet of paper on the nightstand.

Nicole,

I am so sorry to have left you so soon and without any notice at all. But I couldn't bear to lie to you anymore. I have a family back in San Francisco. A new wife and two children who I need to support. You are a grown up now and I know Chris will take good care of you. I'm sorry Nicole. I love you, but you don't need a liar like me in your life anymore. After all, I left you for so long, I don't know what I was thinking just walking back into your life like that. I figured it would be best if I just left you guys. Have a nice life.

Love, Dad

I couldn't believe that he just did that to me. That he had the nerve to leave me and leave just a little note. He has another family which is more important than his first daughter. That hurt. I know that he left me and mum and he was a jerk but he was my dad, and hearing that someone else was more important to him than his only daughter who's mother just recently passed, hurt. It hurt, real bad.

I crumpled the letter in my hands.

How could he have lied to us this whole time?

How long has he had this family for?

Why? Why couldn't he have been faithful to my mum all those years ago like a normal husband?

These questions replayed themselves in my head constantly as I tried to figure out his reasoning for it. I sunk to the floor with my head in my hands and my knees curled up to my chest.

About five or so minutes later, I heard someone open the door. Chris stepped in and saw me on the floor. He walked over to me and sat in front of me pulling me into his chest and rubbing my back.

"Hey, hey what's wrong my love?" he asked kissing my forehead.

I didn't say a word. Just handed him the crumpled letter in my hands. He opened it, his arms still engulfing me, and read it.

"Aw Nicole, I'm sorry" he said lifting me so I was on his lap.

"Don't be. It isn't your fault that my dad is a jerk" I said flatly.

We sat there together for a little while longer and I was so happy that Chris was one constant in my life. Who I know will be there when I need him, and when I don't.

Chris helped me up from the floor and gave me a bear hug spinning me around. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he continued to spin me. He placed his forehead on mine and stared into my eyes, his blue-gray ones looking right through me like a sheet of glass.

He kissed me hard before setting me down.

"How are Lena and Kara?" he asked.

"I don't know. I haven't really talked to them since they went back to college after the party" I said.

"Oh" he said "what should we do today?"

"Well, I think we need to get out today. We've been cooped up in here for like two days. How about a road trip?"

"That sounds good" he said "where should we go?"

"Mum and I had a cabin that we stayed at in the summers up by Jacobs Bay. We could go there" I suggested "pack our bags and leave for a few days"

"That sounds wonderful darlin" he smiled giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"So that's a yes?" I smiled.

"Yup pack your bags honey we're going to Jacobs Bay"

"Okay. Should we tell Addie and Ryan where we're going so they don't get worried when we don't come visit them?" I asked.

"Yeah that might be a good idea" he laughed

We called Addison and Ryan and they were fine with us going. Addison said she would miss us, and Ryan told us to get lost. We decided to leave in the morning so we packed our bags and headed to bed to get some sleep. Jacobs Bay was about five hours away so it could be a long day.

We woke the next morning and began to do some last minute packing before heading to Jacobs Bay.

I didn't get much sleep last night because I dreamt of Jay. I dreamt of our awful and terrible relationship. When he hit me and yelled at me. I shuddered at the thought. Chris of course, woke up when I did so I guess he didn't get much sleep either. He had the patience of a saint staying up with me last night. And I felt awful because he looked so tired. I told him to go back to sleep numerous times but he insisted that he looked more tired than he actually was.

I sleepily climbed out of bed and stumbled down the stairs. Chris went to take a shower so I decided to make us some coffee for the road. I would shower when we arrive.

I filled the coffee maker with water, added the coffee to it and turned it on.

I sat down at the breakfast bar and grabbed one of the books I had been reading lately. I read until I heard Chris come down the stairs. I closed the book and stood from my chair. I walked towards him and wrapped my small arms around his toned torso. He put his hands on the back of my head and pulled me into his chest, stroking my hair.

"I'm sorry I woke you up last night" I said.

"Don't be sorry darlin'. It wasn't your fault that you had a nightmare"

"He's haunting me Chris. I see his face every time I close my eyes" I stared at the floor.

"Aw darlin' I'm sorry" he said pulling me close again.

A tear slid down my cheek. "He's awful"

"I know he is. He tried to kill me" he almost whispered the last part.

"What?" I questioned.

"The night we came back from Paris and Jay showed up here, he-he tried to kill me. When we went outside to tell him to leave, he took you from me and tried to leave with you. He had a gun. I wasn't concerned about myself as much as I was about you. I saw Kyle driving the car and I trusted that he would keep you safe considering your history. I was right. Kyle retrieved the gun and punched Jay, giving you enough time to run. But he caught you. He killed Kyle and pointed the gun at you. When I stepped toward him, he pointed it toward me, when I stepped again it was back on you. Ryan snuck up behind him then, and hit him over the head with a baseball bat. You came over to me and then walked to Jay. You kicked him in the ribs and ran to Kyle. You sat with him and tried so hard to keep him alive. Ryan and I came to try and comfort you but Jay got up. He hit you over the head with the bat and aimed the gun at me. He shot and Ryan jumped in front and took the bullet. He tried to kill me"

I looked up at Chris with a sad expression across my face, tears brimming my eyes. How could I not remember the day my psychotic ex tried to kill me and my fiancée?

"I can't believe I don't remember that" I said quietly pulling away from Chris. The guilt of it overcame me and I almost collapsed. I stumbled backward and caught myself before I could fall.

"Whoa there, you okay darlin'?" he asked concerned.

"I can't believe I almost got you killed" my thoughts took over my hearing but I could make out what he said.

"No, you didn't. Jay did"

"No, if it wasn't for me, that whole thing wouldn't have happened. I put your life in danger Chris"

"No, you didn't"

"Yes. I did. You can't be with me Chris. I am just going to get you hurt"

"No Nicole. You're not"

"Yes Chris. I am"

I reached for my suitcase and made my way toward the door. I turned to see him with small tears bordering his eyes.

"Goodbye Chris"

"Nicole don't do this-"

I closed the door before I heard him finish.

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•_• trouble in paradise. What the heck is Nicole thinking?!?!

Poor poor Chris. Will he get her back! Or is this the end of Chris and Nicole? I guess you'll find out ;)

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