《■ Helpless ■ Gilbert Blythe ■》A cold heart in a freezing storm
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Victoria knew that the day was to arrive sooner or later. The entirety of the town knew it as well despite none being happy about it.
Gilbert's dad had just died which was the reason why Victoria was dressed in all black as she held Edward's hand on her own. His hand was cold in hers and Victoria tried to help him warm up a bit.
Everyone was present for the funeral on that black, gloomy day as the weather contrasted well with the sombre mood. An ironic example of pathetic fallacy.
The Edwards followed the others as they tracked after the carriage holding John Blythe's body from the chapel to the cemetery.
Victoria desperately wanted to find a way to talk to Gilbert, except she didn't know what to say. It is considered as a norm for people to say that they're sorry for their loss to the person who lost a loved one.
Except for the phrase hardly ever gives off any comfort. It's supposed to show empathy and pity but instead, it's more of an instinct, something you happen to say out of habit. Maybe that's the reason why the phrase lost its emotional meaning.
Shakespeare is great and all, Victoria thought. Though it seems that not even one of the greatest writers could give Victoria the words that she so desperately wanted.
John Blythe was being descended into the ground for his burial. She wondered what Gilbert must be going through, the feeling of watching your father being lowered into the dirt.
The melancholic feeling stuck in the air as prayers were being said by the reverend. It didn't take long for Gilbert to not pay attention to his words, he couldn't focus. He instead looked around the people who came to the funeral, some which have never even spoken to him before. He let out a breath when he saw Victoria standing behind her parents with Edward cuddled into her side. The boy was desperately latching onto his sister's black dress.
People quickly parted after the ceremony was finished. Some went to their own homes while others went to Gilbert's for the wake. Victoria noticed that Gilbert was in no way hurry to join the others inside. "Come on Victoria, let's go in," Benedict whispered to his daughter who was watching Gilbert from the corner of her eyes.
"Would you mind if I stay here and talk to Gilbert? I want to see how he's doing." Victoria explained.
Benedict nodded and smiled gently at her. "Of course. Just be careful on what you say. He's in a fragile state. And don't stay out too long, its brass monkeys out here. Let go of Victoria, Edward. She'll join us shortly." Edward finally let go off Victoria's waist and Benedict didn't hesitate in lifting him up.
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The young boy latched his arms around his father's neck as Edward buried his face into the older man's chest.
Victoria waited some time as she wanted to make sure that the pair would truly be alone. She silently at next to him on the house's steps. "Sorry-" Victoria started to mumble before Gilbert cut her off.
"Don't say you're sorry. I've been hearing it all day and frankly, I'm sick of it." Gilbert stated finally looking at her. Victoria gaped for a moment or two. "I was actually going to apologize because I accidentally sat on the end of your coat," Victoria explained.
Gilbert looked down and quickly noticed that she was indeed sitting on the very end of his coat. "Oh, sorry." Victoria nodded and then moved slightly further from him so that she no longer was sitting on his coat. "It's okay. How are you feeling?" She questioned.
"Horrible," Gilbert replied shortly. "That was a rubbish question. I shouldn't have asked." A few more moments of silence passed. "All that lives must die, Passing through nature to eternity," Victoria murmured gently.
"Wait, what?" Gilbert asked with confusion clouding his features. "Hamlet, Act 1. I'm sorry, I'm making things worse. That must have sounded so insensitive, I didn't mean to. I should just leave you alone-" Victoria apologised as she felt herself turn red with embarrassment and shame. Victoria was about to leave when Gilbert held her back from her wrist.
"No, no, there's no need to apologize. I want you to stay with me, truly." Gilbert said as he ran circles with his finger on her wrist. Victoria quickly settled back next to him.
"Well, if you need a shoulder to cry on or any help at all, you can just ask me," Victoria reassured as the pair were now sitting shoulder to shoulder.
"I might just take up the offer for a shoulder to cry on," Gilbert mumbled, looking into Victoria's green eyes. Victoria smiled gently at him. "Go ahead." Although slowly, Gilbert placed his head on Victoria's shoulder. And even though it wasn't the most comfortable of positions, neither of them moved as Gilbert found some solace which Victoria was eager to give.
Gilbert and Victoria stayed outside for half an hour before Ms Cuthbert came to tell them that they should get in. Victoria looked at Gilbert asking him a silent question of whether he wanted to stay outside or not.
As an answer, Gilbert simply gave her a gesture, allowing her to enter his home before him. The interior was scalding hot compared to the freezing outside. "I'm going to talk to some people," Gilbert informed Victoria, although reluctant to leave her side.
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"You can come sit next to me once you're finished. Or we can go outside, if you want to that is." Victoria added, not wanting Gilbert to think that she expected anything of him. "I would be glad to join you again. Thanks for everything, Victoria." Gilbert thanked as he took off his coat. "Codswallop, it was nothing really."
With one final bid, the two went their own ways. Gilbert to talk to his guests while Victoria went towards where her family was seated. Benedict was talking quietly to the Cuthberts, a small smile on his face as he listened intently. Caroline was nodding along to the conversation but she didn't add anything as she was busy with a sleepy Edward on her lap.
Victoria joined them after saying hello to the Cuthberts and Anne. She sat on the couch and Edward suddenly wanted to be on his sister's lap instead of his mother's. Caroline was about to tell him not to bother Victoria but she stopped her, saying that it was no trouble at all.
"How's Hamilton doing?" Marilla asked apparently already filled in with the reason of the eldest disappearance. Anne visibly perked up at the mention of his name. "Not bad considering he threw a wobbly before he left. He's still getting used to it. He's going to visit us next weekend." Benedict explained.
"Hamilton's just feeling a bit homesick. He just misses us, even though he won't ever admit it." Victoria added which caused Caroline to laugh with the agreement.
The conversation kept on going although, at some point, Victoria zoned out. She was looking across the room to where Gilbert was at, checking in on him to see how he's doing. She could basically see the irritation oozing off of him as he clearly wanted to be alone.
"Victoria, come on, we should be leaving," Caroline stated which finally got her attention. "What? Already?" She asked, frantically looking at both her parents. "I think it would be of best. Especially because of poor Edward, he looks knackered." Caroline continued as she leaned over and ran her fingers through Edward's curly hair.
"Don't worry, I'll carry him for you," Benedict stated. Victoria nodded and handed Edward to their father with great difficultly. The boy was heavier than he looked. "Goodbye Mr and Ms Cuthbert. I'll see you in school Anne." Victoria stated.
The ginger girl stood up and hugged Victoria as she bided her goodbye as well.
As Victoria was putting on her coat, the abrupt movement from the family caught Gilbert's attention. The young man excused himself from the current conversation and went up to them.
"Thank you for coming today." Gilbert thanked the Edwards, his sad eyes lingering on Victoria. "It was nothing. If you ever need something and I mean anything, you're free to come ask us." Caroline told Gilbert with a gentle smile on her lips.
Gilbert smiled slightly when he heard the words that echoed Victoria's from earlier that day. Caroline leaned down slightly and hugged him and then Benedict shook his hand, keeping a tight grip on Edward with the other.
Gilbert clearly wanted to tell Victoria something but he refrained because of the company. Seeing the boy fidget slightly gave Benedict and Caroline the hint and the two quickly told their daughter that they'd be waiting outside.
"Can I speak to you? Not now, later I mean. When everyone leaves." Gilbert asked immediately when the door closed behind them. "You, ah, you want me to.. sneak out?" Victoria asked, slightly confused. "Nevermind, it's stupid." Gilbert tried to retreat.
Victoria grabbed him by his arm gently in other to stop him. "No, no, no. I'll do it. At what time?" Victoria asked as she was already formulating a plan on how she'll sneak out. Gilbert noticed that the collar of her coat wasn't correct. He reached out instantly and fixed it for her as Victoria looked up to him.
"How about, three hours from now?" Gilbert asked, his hands now retreating after fixing the collar. Victoria nodded. "Good for me, I'll see you then." She reached out and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly as a goodbye. When she finally pulled back, she nodded her head and gave him a gentle smile before she left the household.
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The left side of my brain: Hey, maybe you should do something, you know like, watching those eight bio lectures that you have or do your homework. Who knows, you could even practise your piano or continue writing those stories.
Me: That's a good idea actually.
The right side of my brain: But why do that when you can binge-watch a bunch of Chris Evan-
Me: Yes!
Hey, everyone. Sorry I took so long (again) after I promised I'll update soon (again). Oops?
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