Melissa in the pic

What have I done? What have I done to you Rain?! Oh Goddess I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.... it was just a stupid crush, she didn't deserve any of this. And Luna? Curse her!

I try to curb this vicious cycle and what does she do? She threatens to go to my mother, my MOTHER of ALL people!

Breathe Shelly, breathe...

This sounded so simple in my head: I confess to Luna Lilly, she goes to her mate and then without divulging too much detail, they order the pack to stop hurting Rain cause they have that much power as leaders! But no, Luna just had to bring up my mother, my freakin mother!

That woman has this pack by the balls! Financially at least, about 51% of the pack's funding is from her, a combination of my family's businesses and inheritance from her parents. That's why sometimes she can override the elders' decisions if she chooses to. Not to mention our she comes from a long lineage of warriors, THE best. A gene that missed me and left me all fragile and weak. And, I guess... unlovable. The Head Pack Warrior is my mother's brother, that means she is a militant by blood. She just chose to focus on the business side of things, now do you understand the kind of trouble I'm in??

It took me a long, long time to gain her approval, and even then it was because I got myself noticed by the pack by trumping on my innocent friend's life.

When I asked Luna Lilly why she insists I show that cursed book to JJ, she said it was 'Damage Control' with a callousness that made me cringe. She said that it would be very suspicious if "suddenly" the pack slut went free and accepted, that surely somebody would come snooping. That if not that, said pack slut might run her mouth. She told me there's no going back from here, that its too late. What does that mean? My Luna is actively seeking a way to permanently discredit Rain so that should she never find an ear willing to listen, NO-ONE believes her.

I screwed up, I know.

I'll just keep this book away from JJ for as long as I can, it's the least I can do for Rain. I don't know how much help that'll be but, I won't take away Rain's last chance at happiness.

I'm sorry Rain, I'm so sorry.

~~~~

That little twit! I'm so furious at her! The amount of chaos this pack would suffer if our deeds were revealed is beyond measure! NO. It cannot and definitely will not happen, not under my watch! Where is the little twit anyway? I'll tear her limb from limb, how dare she?!! I'm so frazzled and this pacing is not helping, dammit Jackson, useless, useless, USELESS!!

"By the Moon Jackson, stop staring at me!" I yell at the dumb Alpha granted to me as a mate and take great pleasure when he nearly falls out of his chair.

"Don't attack, I'm innocent."

Oh he thinks he's funny, ha ha.

I kept on with my pacing, he can't know anyway, its his life I'm trying to save here. What to do? What to do? The Evertons are out of the question, spineless Eva can't be much help, not without asking Melissa first and we can't have that. And Mr. Everton? That blubber mouth is sure to land himself in hot water every time he speaks, its truly a miracle he can fight so well.

The Council in question makes and enforces laws that bind us Weres and they rule with an iron fist. No mercy, no second chances. They'd disband this pack right before our very eyes after sentencing to death all those who'd served pain to the pup. In this case, the WHOLE pack could be killed. I can't have that, I can't, not over one stupid pup.

My father would know just what to do in this situation, so strong a wolf he was.

Is.

Still is.

"There are casualties to every war my precious Lilly," He said. "your mother was one of 'em and we can't do jack about it." Those were the words he said to me back when my seven year old self questioned the whereabouts of my mother after she didn't return home the night before. Then the mutts locked him up for 'killing' her 6 months later. How do you arrest a soldier in the middle of a war zone?

So she died, that's her fault. Nobody got to call my dad crazy and live to talk about it. My mom was stupid and a disloyal mate.

I hate those mutts, they locked away the wisest wolf to ever live.

"When next are you visiting your father love?" I froze at my mate's question. Was I projecting? I sure hope not! But let me wall up just in case. "I mean, we haven't been to the mental institution in so long... I just...thought you would want t-love to go??"

Ha! I make a grown man squeak!

"When this is all over." I replied as vague as I can, going over to sit on his lap. Its such an intense surge of love I feel when he runs his strong hands up and down my back that I calm down instantly. I know he loves me and he's mine forever, that's why I have to do this, I can't let them kill him, not if I can help it.

~~~~

"By the Moon Jackson, stop staring at me!!" I nearly jumped out of my chair at my mate's sudden burst of anger. "Don't attack, I'm innocent." I quickly pleaded for my life.

Lilly continued to pace my office so fast it made me dizzy, through our bond I could sense pure, boiling rage but for the life of me, I couldn't name the cause.

Women can be so confusing...

To keep my limbs intact I remained quiet, Lords knows I've already been lashed at for banning my coward son from conferring with me due to his behavior and I'm only trying to teach him how other leaders treat those who take no claim to their birthright. It's the unwritten rules of business, nobody wants to talk business with a child. For that I do not apologize, JJ better grow up, that's all there is to it.

Last I heard he locked himself up in his room out of embarrassment from failure to protect his own mate plus the tales he's heard of his mate. I think its suffice to say his ego took quite the knockdown.

Lily is a whole different matter, one I haven't figured out still. Sometimes I ask myself if the moon goddess sent her my way just to test me and at other times I enjoy how unpredictable she is. I am just glad no-one is checking my progress cause I'm doing terrible to be honest, I feel like I don't know who my mate really is most of the time. She is quick to anger, hard to please and her sheltering of JJ drives me up the wall. If you are confused then.... join the club.

"When next are you visiting your father love?" I dared to brook through her anger, if I'm lucky she won't bite my head off. First she seemed bothered, nearly snarling at me as if I'm wrong to ask which I'm not, I know she loves that crazy bastard. "I mean, we haven't been to the mental institution in so long... I just.. thought you would want t-love to go??"

Curse that squeak!

She regarded me momentarily, her face going blank of emotion as she shut our bond off. What is she hiding?

"When this is all over." She answered me rather.. cryptically. I didn't question this however cause she soon perched herself at my lap and held on to me for dear life, telling me without many words that she needs me. She calmed down instantly as I ran a soothing hand up and down her back, and I was glad for this cause my wolf too was able to breathe a little easier. Maybe it's nothing to worry myself about but whatever happens, I will protect her with all I have because she was gifted to me by the Moon Goddess to do just that.

~~~~

I deserve better than that slut! The things I've heard, Goddess knows she'll pay for humiliating me and I'll make it hurt, I'll make hurt so bad she'll NEVER forget my name. Ha!

***

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