I feel the chills reaching down my spine. I'm sitting on the bed, my back is resting on the head board while I'm curling my knees to my chest. My panties are still on my legs and my tears have gone dry on my cheeks. My femme hurts and I can see little drips of blood on my thigh. I'm staring at the blood that has stained the sheets.

I'm feeling numb. I cant seem to find the right emotion. All I want to do is sit still and stare blankly. It's as if my world just took a sudden halt.

A few moments later Alexei came barging in the room, he has a cut on his lip and he looks frantic. He knelt right next to me and attempted to hold me.

"No please don't touch me Alexei." At this point my tears are again threatening to fall.

He saw the blood on the sheets. He then inspected me and saw the blood on my thigh. I tried to cover it but Alexei already saw the drips of blood. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around my arms.

Alexei paced back and forth next to the bed while running his fingers through his hair. He then forcefully swipes the lamp and everything on top of the small table beside the bed. I did not stop him. I just remained in my position in silence. I know he is blaming himself for what happened to me but its really not his fault. Moments later, Alexei has completely lost it. He smashed everything that he could see in the room. He pushed the cabinets and tables to the floor and he screams every time he destroys something. I on the other hand did not move a muscle. I'm still on my exact position. Still feeling numb.

When everything in the room has been destroyed, Alexei sat on the floor right next to the bed. He rested his back on the side of the bed and looks down all defeated.

"I want to leave this place Alexei."

Alexei stood up and carries me in his arms out of the room. His men are already waiting for us outside. We went out of the house on a different exit where Alexei's car is already waiting.

"I can't go back to Amy like this Alexei. She cant see me like this."

"We will go to my mother. It's a few hours drive but you will be safe there." I did not answer him.

"Can I borrow your phone?"

Alexei took his phone from his side pocket, tapped his phone direct to the dialer and handed it to me. I dialed Amy.

"Hello?" Said Amy. Oh god, I feel like I'm going to sob hearing Amy's voice.

"A."

"B!? What's wrong? I swear if anything bad happened to you, I don't care if that Nikolai is the king of the world, I am going to kill him!"

"A, I'm okay. I just can't go home tonight."

"Oh, so you're with Nikolai? Alexei?"

I quickly interrupt her.

"Book the flight A."

"What?"

"Book the flight home."

I can sense that Amy realized that I have already made up my mind.

"Okay B. You take care okay? Go home as soon as you can."

"Okay. I love you."

I returned the phone to Alexei. I then turn to my side facing the window. I adjusted Alexei's jacket to cover my arms intertwined in front of me. I feel like I'm cold as ice. I just stare outside blankly.

♥♥♥♥♥

"Princess..."

I was awaken by the soft voice of Alexei. I am already in his arms while carrying me inside a room. He places me on the bed slowly. A woman perhaps in her fifties entered the room. Her hair is brunette. Her wrinkles show on the side of her eyes when she lets out a smile. She then kisses Alexei on his forehead and on his lips. She looks at him like they understood each other without even saying a word. She sits on the bed beside us while looking at me intently. Her eyes are full of warmth yet I can sense that she's also a tough woman. She places her hand on my hand and taps it slowly.

"Rest now our Yelena."

Alexei quickly interrupts her. "Matushka!"

She looks at me while smiling. "We will be introduced tomorrow. Tonight you rest." She said with this very thick Russian accent.

I offered her a faint smile. She left us in the room and closed the door on her way out.

Alexei pulled the cover and placed it on top of my legs.

"I'll be back."

I rested my head on the pillow and looked at the ceiling blankly. Tonight, I finally lost my virginity to Nikolai but it did not even come close to what I thought and expected. I lost my virginity, the Nikolai way. I chuckle escaped my mouth. I guess I had this one coming. He told me to stop him but I did not. I was just too naive to think that my very first would be all kisses, fireworks and love.

Moments later, Alexei went back with a basin of water and a towel.

"Alexei, you don't have to do this. Nikolai did not force me. I let him do this to me." I said while holding on to his arm. I want to let him know that this is not his fault.

Alexei however did not respond. He took the towel from the basin, squeezed it to remove the excess water and wipes my face. I then turn my back on him and collected my hair to the side so he can take off my necklace. I removed the silver hair comb attached to my hair and my earrings while he unzipped my dress on the back slowly.

Alexei slowly takes off my dress from my shoulders down to my breasts. I took off the sleeves and remove myself from my gown. He then pulls the gown down my legs and hurls it beside the bed.

I slowly take off my bra while Alexei pulled my panties down and hurled it right next to my dress. I am now naked, sitting in bed, my arms are covering my breasts and my legs are held together while Alexei cleans the towel in the basin.

When he turns to face me, he just waited for my next move. I don't know why, but this is how much I trust Alexei. I would even trust him with my own life. I slowly spread my legs for him. I can see that Alexei is now looking at me, all of me. He looks me in the eyes, then my breasts, down my now bare femme. I feel like everything suddenly moved in slow motion.

He wipes the blood from my inner thigh and trails the towel delicately on my femme. I really could not fathom Alexei. Just a while ago he destroyed everything in the room where Nikolai took my virginity like he can kill anyone who gets in his way. Now he touches me so delicately you would even think he cant kill a fly.

After wiping my femme, he handed me a white sleeping gown. I put it on and went back resting my head on the pillow. Alexei said good night and kissed me on my hair. He was about to leave but I reached for his hand. I want him to stay beside me. I don't want to feel left alone again.

"Don't go Alexei. Sleep with me."

I lie on my side as he slips under the covers and spoons me. "Sleep now my princess."

I tried to close my eyes to sleep but my mind keeps on flashing back the memories of what happened between Nikolai and I.

I just cried in silence.

♥♥♥♥♥

My eyes flickered when I was awaken by two little boys looking at me directly on my face all too closely. One of them placed his hand on my face. Who are these kids?

When they realized I'm already awake, they covered their mouths with their hands. They ran as fast as they can outside the room.

My eyes are still heavy. My femme still hurts. And the virgin Mary is all gone. I trailed my hand to my right but Alexei is not beside me anymore. I stood up and walked outside the room. The house is simple yet cozy. The walls have floral wallpaper and the furniture are shiny wood and soft cotton fabrics.

I walked the hallway barefoot. As I approach what seems to be the living room, the two kids are peeking and giggling at me being all playful. I tiptoed towards their direction and as soon as they see I'm coming close to them, they ran towards the kitchen.

Alexei's mother is on the kitchen slicing some vegetables. He scolded the two boys for running and bothering me.

"Forgive my two boys, they are just enjoying your presence here."

"It's okay, they are really adorable."

"My name is Irene, Alexei is my son, he calls me matushka, beloved mother in our language. You have the permission to call me matushka since my son brought you here, that means you are really special."

The two boys then ran out of the kitchen when Irene ordered them to do so. Now that I can clearly see Irene's face, I see where Alexei got his beautiful hazel eyes. Irene lets out a sweet yet very strong and domineering presence. I wonder how she handled being a wife to Alexei's father and a mother to Alexei himself.

"My son Alexei did not say a word about what happened but I still have eyes around my two boys, I know that you are in the middle of everything." She looks at me waiting for a confirmation. Geeez, Alexei's mother is really something. Is she going to blame me for what happened between Nikolai and Alexei?

I slowly drink the glass of water she gave me while she continues with chopping the vegetables.

"My husband and Vyacheslav, they were like Nikolai and Alexei. They love and cared for each other no matter what. I have never seen those two fight over anything before. They always had each other's back. One time, when they were teenagers, Alexei got into trouble, you know what Nikolai did? He talked to his father and asked for guns and men to get back at whoever punched Alexei at their high school urinal. The old man Vyacheslav could never been prouder. Those two became unstoppable. They caused too much trouble that both of them got locked up in juvi. Vyacheslav had too much influence, so enormous that even the stay of those two in juvi became a field trip, you know a training ground. After a few months the two got out and became more violent and fearless. Somewhere in hell right now, Vyacheslav is beaming with pride."

I gulped at Irene's revelations. I remember what Alexei told me about Nikolai's father. Vyacheslav was ruthless but Nikolai still looked up to him.

"When those two finished business school from Columbia University they were off to stand on their own because the old man Vyacheslav died of a gunshot to the head. Same with my husband. You see, even in death my husband and Vyacheslav had each other's backs."

I remained quiet and listened carefully to Matushka Irene.

"I want you to understand that no matter what happened between those two, they would still have each other's back. Do not ever blame yourself for it."

I thought that she's going to blame me, but she actually took my side.

"Do you care for them? Do you love them?" She stopped chopping the vegetables and waits for my response.

"I'm leaving. I'm going back to my country." I looked down on the table.

"You did not answer my question."

Oh my gosh, Matushka Irene is quite scary. I swear I feel like I'm being interrogated right now.

"If you decide to stay, you would need to be tough. Even tougher than those two. All men think that they are stronger and more powerful than women but that's not true. The truth is, we control them. Women control men. We have them in our hands you know why?" Irene is waving the knife she's holding while speaking.

"Let me put it this way. In your case, you own their hearts and you own this fancy pussy. You control everything. Those two will conquer everything because of your heart and your pussy." I gulped at Irene's bluntness. What does she mean those two? Alexei and Nikolai love me? I quickly brush off the thought. That's just beyond incomprehensible.

"But there's one rule for a relationship with men like Nikolai and Alexei to work. You make them do what they want to do. Make them think that they are in control. You are in the middle of strong and complicated men. They have gigantic egos. They have a lot of money, guns and power. You just need to indulge them."

Oh my god, I dont know what to say. How do I even answer to that?

A few minutes later the food is already cooked, she called the two boys and two other men in the dining table.

"I adopted those two." She is looking at the two boys while preparing the table.

I was surprised when Irene held my hand and brought me to the side. He then ran her fingers through my hair and collected it into a ponytail. Now I know where Alexei got his sweetness.

"Your hair, you look like you have been kidnapped and raped." You have no idea.

"And what are these?" She holds a few strands of hair extensions that Amy placed on my head.

"You really remind me of someone." Said Irene. I know who she's talking about. I just let out a smile in response.

Irene told me stories of the mischiefs of Alexei and Nikolai when they were kids. Oh my god, the two really gave Irene so much headache.

After a few minutes, someone entered the door.

"Irene! Irene! It's Tommy!"

Irene sighs in frustration. She then ordered one of the men to take the boys in their rooms. She stood up and took something from one of the cabinets. My eyes widened when she pulled from the cabinet a shotgun. Oh my god.

"Come with me princess."

I giggled inside because now I know where Alexei got his ways.

"Where are we going Matushka?"

"To shoot someone. Do you know how to shoot?"

My father have guns but I have always stayed away from them. I mean there's no point, I wont be able to use it because I have no plan to kill anyone in this lifetime.

She then handed me a revolver. I picked it up from her hand using my index finger and my thumb. Irene shook her head on me.

"You need to work on that. Don't worry Ill tell Nikolai and Alexei to teach you."

She just took the revolver from me and slings the gun to her back.

Wow, Matushka Irene is such a badass. Now I know how this woman managed to tame her husband and Alexei. We then went out and rode a yellow jeep. Even Matushka's ride is badass. I'm already starting to like her very much. I'm on the front passenger seat while the guy who talked to Irene is at the back just standing. Irene drove the jeep recklessly, I feel like my insides are having a roller coaster ride.

As we approach the highway the man from the back screamed.

"There he is!" He is pointing at a guy wearing shorts and black shirt holding a bag in front of him while running for his life.

At this point, Matushka drove even faster towards the guy. Oh god. I don't want to die yet. I held on tight to my seat belt to save myself from a road mishap.

Matushka blocks the way with her jeep and took a quick halt. She then pointed the shotgun towards the guy.

"I told you not to return here Tommy! Drop the bag!"

Tommy did not listen to Matushka and attempted to escape. All of a sudden Irene made a warning shot. Oh my god.

"The next shot goes to your legs."

Thank goodness Tommy halted and knelt while facing us. I really think that if he did not listen to Matushka, he would surely be disabled right now.

"Call the police now." Irene said ordering the man at the back.

A few minutes later, the police arrived and Tommy was arrested. Matushka Irene said he used to work for her but he ratted. I don't know what that means but I'm assuming it's bad.

We went back to the house and sat on the front porch.

"Matushka, your husband, Alexei's dad...." I said, wanting to know about how she managed to tame Alexei and her husband.

"Ah my husband, Viktor was a very complicated man. Before Alexei was born, he would always break my heart. God knows how much pain Viktor caused me but I held on to my love for him. I knew that if I want Viktor in my life I had to accept him and everything that comes with him being in the mafia. I knew I had to toughen up for Viktor and eventually for my baby boy Alexei." Matushka Irene got teary eyed while telling her story. I embraced her tightly and did not push any further.

"Matushka, I have to go. My bestfriend is already waiting for me. Thank you for everything."

"I know we will see each other again." She said, as if she's so certain. I just let out a faint smile.

Alexei's men are already waiting for me in the car. I need to go back at Dylan's house so Amy and I could start packing. I glanced one last time at Irene and waved goodbye.