"Am I going to die?"

Forcing her mouth open, Eden lifted the spoonful of pudding and stuffed it in her mouth. She could barely taste it, but it was her first meal in twenty four hours, the least she could do was try to stay alive...

Sighing softly, she dropped the spoon and blinked. Don't cry Eden! She chastened, afraid her tears would escape the restraint she had on them, afraid she'd break down and draw attention to her; something she couldn't afford to do. It was a part of the job —being professional and staying unattached— but Eden could barely do anything but be attached to her patients. She couldn't get used to watching them breathe their last, their eyelids closing to some of the most innocent eyes she had ever seen. She couldn't get used to breaking the news to their parents that their kids were dead. But so much more than that, Eden couldn't get used to the feeling of being a failure. And just like every other time when she had failed a Patient, she failed Maddie today.

The look in the eyes of the four year old as she asked Eden whether she thought she was going to die, stuck with Eden the entire day. And an hour ago, when Maddie did die, Eden felt the burden of yet another loss settle on her shoulders.

Fighting to keep her emotions in check long enough to break the news to Maddie's father, Mike, Eden had made her way through the halls of St. John's Children's Hospital, shaking.

She had done this several times, but no two incidents were the same. The parents always reacted differently to the news; there were some who immediately burst into tears, there were some who clung to a loved one nearby, there were some who settled on a couch and bowed their heads... Whichever way a parent chose to process the news, it gave Eden the opportunity to sneak away into a secluded area where she could give in to her tears. But this was not the case with Mike. Seated in the Cafeteria, Eden vaguely remembered the look in his eyes as she told him of his daughter's passing.

Clinging tightly to the bouquet of red roses in his arms, and a gift wrapped box, he stared blankly at Eden for several seconds.

"It's Christmas," he finally said, his brows pulling together in a frown.

"I know that, Mr. Stacks and I'm really sorry—"

He shook his head. "It's Christmas, the season of good cheer and you know, the bullshit they tell us?!"

Eden swallowed. "Mr. Stacks, perhaps there's a family member you would like to call at this time, I know how diffi—"

"Do you?!" His angry roar sent a cold shiver down her spine. His eyes caught fire as he held the gift up before her. "I have no family, doctor! None but the one you now tell me is dead on your watch! You had one job, one simple job to keep her alive but you failed!" He took a menacing step to her and instinctively, she jumped back, her tears now sliding down her cheeks. "You think you know how difficult it must be?! No, doctor, you have no idea!"

Eden tried to speak, but she feared she would break down before the angry father.

"Here," he shoved the gift and roses in her arms, a loud gasp escaping her lips at his action. She instinctively clung to the items, unsure of what was expected of her. "You hand that to her! It was her only wish for Christmas."

Turning slowly to the side where she had placed the bouquet and gift on a chair, she stared at them, remembering every word Maddie's father said to her. She tried to convince her heart that he spoke out of grief, but she knew he didn't for he was right to speak that way.

She took the items with her and made her way out of the hospital. Settling in her Mercedes, she drove home. It was a long ride, and she barely saw the road before her, but she kept driving until she was pulling into the driveway of the modest building she shared with her grandmother. It was the only home she ever knew since she was a little girl, the only place she could retreat to when she was having a crappy day; a day such as today.

Clutching the roses and the gift to her chest, she took the three short stairs up to the front door. The darkness within the building was a great indication that her grandmother was asleep; good, at least she could sneak up to her room without having to engage in a conversation with her grandmother. The last thing she wanted to do was talk, and the only thing she needed to do was bury her head in her pillow and cry.

Letting a soft sigh, she unlocked the door and pushed it wide open.

"Surprise!"

The sudden burst of light nearly blinded her, the loud uproar at her entrance causing her hold to weaken around the items in her arms as she jumped back in horror.

Barely breathing, her gaze travelled the room, her terrified mind taking a few seconds to register the familiar faces of friends and family that beamed back at her.

Trembling, she tore her eyes off of the faces of her intrusive friends whose purpose for showing up in her home, she had no idea about, and turned her attention instead to the wooden floors now littered with red roses and a box lying upside down.

Falling to her knees, she trembled as she began trying to salvage what was left of the roses by gathering them in her arms.

"Eden?" She recognized her grandmother's voice, but was too upset to glance up. "Eden!"

"What is this, Grammie, you scared the hell out of me!" She murmured, rising to her feet. "What is going on?" She tried not to look as distraught as she felt as her mind fought for possible answers to the reason she was standing in a roomful of people who sought to surprise her when it wasn't even her birthday.

"Trust me, I had no idea she was going to invite the entire world." A familiar voice called.

Turning sharply, Eden felt her eyelids widen at the sight of Philip, her boyfriend... At least he was supposed to be. Theirs was a long distance relationship and with his busy schedule planning to run for the office of mayor in to years, she wasn't sure if she was in a relationship anymore.

"Philip?"

As usual, he was overdressed in a Dolce and Gabbana suit, his jet black hair slicked to the back. When he pulled her into his arms and kissed her neck, his cologne assaulted her nostrils.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had to be in Miami?" The truth was, she would rather be alone right now with her pillow pressed to her chest, than have to endure the crowd.

His dark, brown eyes lighted up, thin lips curling to form a smile that caused his high cheekbones to rise further up. "I am here to propose."

She shook her head, confused. "I am sorry, what?"

"Marry me, Eden," he said, going to his knees before her. She watched, her eyelids widening as he pulled out a black box from his pocket and opened it. A big diamond winked at her.

Eden stood frozen for several minutes, her arms tightening its hold on the bouquet of roses and the gift. This day was certainly full of surprises for her, most of which, she wasn't sure she liked. First, it was Maddie's death. While Maddie's death hadn't exactly come as a surprise, Maddie was one patient Eden hoped would survive. The little four years old had a personality that would endear anyone to her. She was sweet and loving and if Eden was being truthful, she would admit to falling in love with Maddie. Unlike every one of her patients, she especially looked forward to being in Maddie's presence. She spent all of her free time with Maddie, telling stories, sharing jokes and munching on a snack.

Then there was Mike's surprising outburst, an outburst that still shook Eden to her very core.

Now, this; a proposal from a man she wasn't sure she was still in a relationship with. The last time she saw Philip was two months ago, and the last time they spoke, was an entire month ago. When she did try to call him, she was stuck talking to his assistant who promised to have him return her call.

"Well?!"

Eden turned sharply to find Judie, her best friend, beaming at her.

"W- we- well?" For some reason, she couldn't speak.

"Well, say yes so I can get off of my knees." Philip chuckled.

Eden felt her lungs constricting, anxiety choking her. She could say no to him, besides, they barely knew each other. She could say she'd think about it.

Then what, Eden?

Could she really turn Philip down? It was true she had only dated him for six months, most of which they were apart, but the little she knew about him wasn't bad either; he was rich, smart, determined, and handsome, with fierce brown eyes that were nearly buried beneath his squinting eyelids. A mass of straight, raven hair complimented his tan skin, and his white shirt underneath his jacket was doing a poor job of keeping his muscular form hidden. It was however the look on her grandmother's face that kept Eden from turning his proposal down. Her grandmother was the only family she knew since her own mother wanted nothing to do with her. She wasn't sure if she had a father either and she didn't care. She trusted her grandmother and if her grandmother liked Philip, she would marry him.

Releasing a breath, she nodded, and the entire room burst into loud cheers.