《Helpless (Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader)》Hamilton Auditions
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It was a few weeks after the video had been first posted, and it had indeed died down. Not totally, but enough to make you feel comfortable going outside again.
You and Lin met up a few times in those three weeks, and every time you saw him, you felt a connection with him. The same one that you had felt when you first met him, when you were at the pool, and during the kiss. At this point, you don't know how you lived your life without him before, even if you were just friends.
And now, he sent you a text as you read up on Hamilton for him while chilling in your bed.
, you reply, not sure where this was going.
Eliza? As in, Alexander Hamilton's wife, Eliza?, you think in astonishment. Wait- oh no.
, you ask.
He tells you the location and time, and you work up the nerve to ask him the dreaded question.
, he replies, and your stomach sinks.
Could you really play his wife for a number of months? You catch yourself. Of course you could. Why couldn't two friends act together?
At this point, your thoughts were beginning to sound repetitive. Why can't friends act together? I have nothing to admit. You were tired of the confusing thoughts about Lin, tired of denying that-
You sit up straighter. "I like Lin," you say aloud. A weight feels like it lifts off you. You had been denying it the whole month or more that you've known him, and it felt so nice to just have it off your chest. "I like Lin," you repeat, smiling slightly.
You get off your bed. "I like Lin." You can't seem to stop saying it.
You open your window. "I like Lin!", you yell.
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While you close your window, you repeat it to yourself one last time. "I like Lin-Manuel Miranda."
Then your high spirits are dampened. You get out your phone and scroll up on your texts with Lin. You stop when you see the one you were looking for.
It was like an answer to what you had just been yelling, what you had just said five times. Although you finally admitted to yourself that you had a crush on Lin, he didn't like you. And probably never would.
You flop down on your bed and yell into a pillow.
As you laid in bed that night, your mind couldn't help but drift back to the kiss. Like every night.
But why did it linger in your mind? You had done stage kisses before. You had kissed other guys before- there was the problem. None of the other people were Lin.
And you had liked Lin this whole time. Every time you saw him with Vanessa, every time he mentioned her name- you felt jealous. Jealous that you came into his life too late.
"I wish I was mad," you sing softly. You pause, remembering the blocking in between. "I'm just too late."
"Hi Y/N."
"Hey, Lin."
You nervously fiddle with your fingers as you stood in front of Lin, Tommy Kail (Lin had told you about him), and Alex Lacamoire (someone else Lin had told you about).
Auditions always made you nervous. You were standing in front of people judging everything about you, and then determining whether you were worthy enough for a role.
"So, we'll have you sing 'Helpless'," Lin said.
You nod, and hear the familiar instrumental version of the song play behind you. You had practiced singing this song about hundred times last night, and a million times before you came.
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"Oh, I do, I do, I do, I do. Hey!", you sing.
As the song gets further, you feel more confident. But you were a little confused. Usually, in auditions, they only had you sing the first minute or so of the song. In this one, they let you sing the whole thing.
When you finish, you clasp your hands together again and await their reaction.
Lin looks at Tommy. "What do you think?", he asks.
Tommy smiles at you. "I think we have a serious contender for Eliza."
You smile nervously.
"But since you'll be playing Eliza, I would like to see your chemistry with Lin, because he'll be playing Hamilton," Tommy continues.
Your small smile fades, and even Lin looked a little nervous.
Alex lets out a small laugh. "You could just look at their 'Champagne' scene from the Green Valley Theater showcase."
You work hard to not blush or glare.
"Ha ha, very funny,"* Lin says, rolling his eyes.
"But you actually do, though. You two have amazing chemistry. Even more than you and the real Vanessa. Y'know, Karen Olivo?," Alex says, and at this, a slight redness creeps up Lin's cheeks.
"Send me the video," Tommy says, and Alex taps on his phone a few times. "Got it," he confirms, and in front of you, watches the video.
You look anywhere but at Lin when you hear "I wish I was mad" come out of his phone. You notice Tommy smile slightly.
When the video is finished, he looks at Lin. "Got a little distracted there at the end, Lin?"
Lin presses his lips together, and you watch the movement. Dang it. You're not getting over your crush any time soon.
"You know I'm dating Vanessa," he finally says, and you can't help but feel a little envy.
"I know, Lin. I'm just messing with you." Tommy turns to you. "You and Lin definitely work very well together. We'll seriously consider for the part of Eliza."
You smile. "Thank you."
Alex and Tommy smile at you as a way of saying you're welcome, but Lin looks like he's off in another world.
"We'll let you know if you got a callback tomorrow. I'm sure Lin has your phone number," Alex says.
"Okay. Thank you again," you say, then leave.
Once you're in your car, you hit your head against the steering wheel, repeatedly.
A/N: If you have any questions about my terrible writing, feel free to leave a comment or send me a message.
*In The Heights reference
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