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"How is my baba" I asked to doctor who just came out of baba's room.

"He's fine now but you have to take care of him. His blood pressure is too high. You have to make him away from all the tensions" Doctor replied and left not before I nodded.

I was supposed to go to marziya aapi house to get hana but baba was not feeling well today. He felt dizzy and mama said he had fever last night. So I called doctor to check up on him. And decided to go to hana after that.

I went inside the room and saw mama sitting beside baba while her eyes were closed she's reciting some verses. I sat on the bed side chair in front of mama.

"Mama" I called her in low voice and she open her eyes and looked at me. And then blow on baba and then came closer to me and put her hand on my head and blow on me too. I closed my eyes and smiled. She always does this whenever I was close to her while she read any verses and some time she came to my room for this. At first I've felt irritated by this but then I used to it but now I felt peace knowing my mother's prayer is still with me.

Mama got off from the bed and walked out of her room without saying anything to me and I look at baba and kissed his forehead before following mama.

I love my family way too much to see them in pain including my hana.

Mama sat on the couch in living room while i sat on the ground in front of her.

"I can't believe you still care about me mama.. after all I did" I said feeling ashamed.

"I gave birth to you.. if I want to not care about you, still I can't help" she said looking away from me. I could see pain in her eyes.

"Mama I know I hurt you. Hell I hurt everyone but mama I promise I will fix everything" I promise her and she look at me shaking her head.

"Do you think you can make things right again?" She asked and i nodded.

"You can't do anything now.. do you know, when hana was leaving this house I tried to stop her but she asked me something that after then I couldn't stop her" mama mumbled like she was talking to herself but I heard it.

"What she asked?" I asked and mama look down at me.

"She asked me, if she was my biological daughter then I let her live with her husband who disgrace her accused her sleeping with other man" mama said and few tears escaped her eyes. My stomach churn and heart tighten hearing Hana's question.

"Mama I didn't accused her. It just I wasn't thinking straight. Mama... Before having hana. I did hurt her i can accept it. But after I got her love. after i knew how beautiful this marriage feelings is. I've always tried to not to hurt her but ended up hurting her..." I paused and held mama's hand.

"Do you know.. how much hana become hard for me to handle.. I was getting frustrated by her behaviour.. I swear on you mama I really tried to make this work cause I never wanted to lose her. But after seeing her behaviour I agian thought I was not ready for this marriage. This marriage made me feel suffocated sometimes because of her insecurity. BUT I never thought to threw her out off my life. Cause she became my peace mama. And when I heard she is pregnant I was frightened. I thought I wasn't able to handle hana then how can I take this responsibility. And with that thought just wanted to get out of this. And what cames in my mind I did." I confessed everything looking at her lone tear escaped my eyes.

"but now I regret my every action mama.. now I realised whatever she was doing because of her worst mood swings.. and she needed me but I let her down." I said and mama silently listening to me while her eyes were on me.

"And one more thing was revolving in my mind at that time. my damn dreams. I thought this will ruined everything but no! I was wrong. when I realised my love for her I realised that for me nothing is more important than hana not even my dream. She became my dream...." Finally mama open her mouth while cutting me off.

"Then why you did to her rahmaan. If one person love someone they don't do anything to hurt them. They never hurt someone they love.. and you crossed every limits to hurting her" she said disappointed shaking her head. I felt sorrowful lump in my throat and gulped that sorrow as I remember how much I hurt my hana. She was my innocent hanu and I really crossed my every limits.

"I was became mess mama. I really wasn't thinking straight. I'm sorry" I whisper and two more tear escaped. I just wanted to justify my actions and want my hana back but I know no one was going to believe and justify my wrong deed not even me.

"I love her mama. I want her back. I can't live without her" my whisper barely came out and i hugged mams placing my head on her lap after sometime she strokes my head.

"Go prove her! Prove her that you truly love her. Prove her that your sorry and wants her forgiveness. Go and earn her forgiveness..." She paused and cupped my face.

"..Go and win her heart again" she said the same thing which Fathima did. While wiping my tears she kissed my forehead.

"I'm your mother rahmaan. I never want to see you in pain.. and now I can see if you don't get your hanu back you will break just like hana.. call me selfish but I don't want that pain for my son" she said and I got up and sat beside her and hugged tightly.

"I'm sorry mama! I'm really sorry for everything.. please forgive me" I said slightly weeping in my mama's arms.

"I will forgive you when you bring my daughter in law and my grandchild" she said and I smiled feeling little shy.

"I will bring them both " I said in determination.

"Then go" she said and i kiss mama's forehead and went for winning my Hana's heart again mission.

************

I never thought one day my whole existence would be changed. But it happened, my whole existence changed. A few days ago I was someone's wife although who never considered me as his wife or never love me. But I never thought he didn't respect me either. I thought however he was he will never hurt me intentionally but I was wrong. He just not hurt me, he broke me, he shattered me into pieces.

Why he did this to me? I always love him with all my heart. In return I just wanted loyalty not even I asked him to love me. I was willing to wait for him all my life happily but he was the one who came close to me. Who make me believe that he will accept me as his wife in front of all world he make me believe that he will give me respect but again I was wrong. He was the one who snatch my dignity. Who disgrace me. Who used me.

A lone tear escaped my eyes. I don't wanted to cry but my tear didn't wanted to stop. I was laying on the bed in the room of khala's house. Watching ceiling. And replaying everything.

How he came to me. How he behaved that he cared for me. How he make me his slave by his sweet talked. And how I did everything what he wanted me to do.

Why we girls are this stupid. We think our husband or boyfriend was the one who is always right. And what they says was true. Sometimes truth is in front of us but we believe in our blind love And think our duty is to fulfill their desire and we stupid women did this willingly happily thinking they love us. Not all men maybe but most of the men who didn't wanted their relationship to be official or halal. Now I realised why maan didn't wanted ruksati. Cause he knew one day he will be bore of me and wanted to get rid of me and he got that chance after hearing my.....

"Hana" I was busy in my thoughts looking at the ceiling when I heard someone's low voice.

I slightly move my head to look who was it and saw muneeb standing beside my bed looking at me painfully?

He came to me and sat beside me. I sat up. "Why are you crying?" He asked and I look at him confused.

Am I crying?

"Am I cryin?" I voice my thought and he nodded while wiping my tear which I didn't know when fall.

"Don't cry" he said shaking his head and held my hand.

"Stay away from muneeb"

Maan's voice echoed in my mind and I instantly pulled my hand away. He didn't like me close to muneeb.

"What happened?" Muneeb brought me out of my maan's thought.

"No he is not my Maan" I mumbled. Muneeb place his hand on my arm.

"Are you okay?" He asked concern and I look at him.

"He isn't my Maan.. my Maan was not like that. My Maan loved me cared for me but he is not. You know what he is?" I asked in low tone while muneeb kept staring at me.

I went closer to muneeb cause I didn't wanted him to heard this.

"..he is a monster! He is heartless man! He doesn't have heart. He just know how to used people for his pleasure" I whisper and muneeb move back looking at me wide eyes.

"What...." he was saying something but I cut him off

"Shh.. Don't tell him! Or else he will hurt me more. He hurts me whenever he was angery. so please don't tell him. I don't wanted to hurt more" I whisper fingerings my mouth.

"He is not here hana.. he can't listen you" muneeb said I saw wetness in his eyes.

"Hana.. did he ever hit you?" Muneeb asked and I chuckled nodding my head.

"He hit me here" pointing towards my heart I said " he didn't hit me physically but he hit me emotionally and mentally" I said.

"Forget him hana... Come"

He held my hand and made me stand up. "Go freshen up. And we will go downstairs. Everyone want to meet you. You are locked in this house almost 2 days. It not good for you" he said softly making me stand up infront of bathroom but I instantly panicked hearing everyone was waiting for me.

"No! I'm not going anywhere. I told you na. I don't want to go infront of him" I said taking back steps but muneeb held my wrist and turned me toward him.

"Rahmaan is not here.. this is my house.. your aapi's house. He can't come here without our permission. And as long as you wants to stay away from him..." He paused and held my hand firmly.

"I promise you.. he can't come close to you. I will never let him" he said firmly holding my hand making me believe in his words.

"He can't come here...You promise me?" I asked in low tone and muneeb nodded. "I promised" he said And walked toward wardrobe. He opened wardrobe and took out few clothes and came to me.

"Now go.. and take quick shower. I will waiting for you" he said giving me few clothes. And I went to washroom.

*******

"Where is aapi?" I asked in low tone. Me and muneeb were currently sitting in the garden.

"She went with Nawaz bhai to ruban's school for parents meeting.. she doesn't wanted to go but it was important. She will be here soon" he said comforting me and I nodded.

"Want coffee?" He asked after sometime and I shook my head. I was staring at the grass aimlessly.

"But I want. And you have to company me" he said but i didn't reply.

"Okay I will made coffee for you and me. Hana your so lucky to have my hand made coffee" he said cheerfully and walked inside. I stood up and started walking on the grass.

I was still staring at the grass. I don't know what to think I was so lost that I didn't realise someone stood behind me.

My entire being stiffened when i felt familiar feeling of someone's presence.

"Hanu" he whispered and hugged me from behind while I started trembling and everything started flashing in my mind.

".. your not worth my time"

"..I will do whatever I want"

"You become my headache"

"He think you as his se*toy." Ariba's voice

"He accept you as his wife just to warm his bed.." Ariba

"I need space"

"Then stop me" and he kissed Ariba.

"This is not my child"

"She slept with someone one else" Riya aapi's voice came.

"She slept with mune..."

"...For this whore.."

"I'm not whore" i mumbled tear started falling from my eyes and i started shaking. My breath become heavy.

"Hanu are you okay?" He asked. As usual with fake concern. And held my arms and turned me toward him.

***********

I came Hana's khala's house cause I know she's here. I went inside the gate and was about to go inside the house I stopped when i saw hana roaming in the garden. My heart speed up. A smile came to my lips.

After realising my true feelings for her this is first time im going to face her.

"My love, my wife, my life" I mumbled looking at her who was lost in her world.

I went toward her and stood behind her. Her body tensed and my smiled widened as I remember hana told me that she can feel me around her like she was feeling me right now.

I couldn't help but wrapped my arms around her hugging her from behind I whispered "hanu" after few seconds she started trembling. She mumbled something I couldn't understand. I turned her toward me. And saw tear rolling down her cheeks making me hate myself even more seeing her this condition because of me.

"Jaan don't cry" I said feeling her pain while lovingly touching her cheeks but she flinch at the contact.

"Don't touch me" she begged. moving back. Her eyes held some kind of fear. She was shaking hysterically.

"Hanu what happened? Your angry with me na? Fine You can angry with me hanu.. you can do anything but.." I was saying but she cut me off.

"I don't want to do anything with you" she said taking few steps back making me took few steps forward.

"Please don't come near me.. you got everything what you wanted. Now please leave me" she pleaded and the look she was giving me clenched my heart. She was looking afraid of me?.

"I'm not leaving you. Your coming with me to our home" I said softly smiling at her but she started shaking her head.

"No! I don't want to came in that hell again! That was not my home! You ruined me, you destroy me you left nothing in me now, You did everything to make me leave your life. Now I'm out. Please live your life happily and leave me alone." She yelled crying. My heart broke hearing all this.

"My happiness is you hanu" I whisper and went closer to her.

"And your my destruction" she whispered. I felt all the air knock in my chest. And eyes become watery.

"Jaan.. don't say like that" I said in low tone. And hugged tightly.

"Le... leave...me" she struggle tried to push me away. She never behave like this before even she was angry with me many times but she never push me away, the way she was pushing me now.

"Never" I said

"Help! Help! Muneeb! Aapi" she started screaming making me froze on my place, my grip loosen on her and she move back instantly.

"Muneeb! Aapi! Aapi!" She continues screaming like I was going to kill her. And that thing shake my soul that my hanu my wife wanted some others help to get away from me. She was calling for her help.

"Hanu.. I'm your Maan" I said painfully.

"My Maan is dead" she replied and I felt someone snatch my heart from my chest. I started feeling that same physical pain. My tear slip on my cheeks.

"Hana" muneeb came running and hana hide behind him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Muneeb yelled.

"Tell him to leave me! I know he came here to hurt me again! I know he come here to tell Khala and aapi that I slept with someone else! Muneeb I didn't! Muneeb I didn't" she started shaking her head violently.

"Jaan Please! How can you even think I will do something like that! Your my wife...." I was Cutt of by familiar voice.

"She is not your wife" I heard marzi aapi's loud voice and as I turned I got a hard slapped from aapi.

"How dare you came here?!" She yelled.

"Aapi. I came here for my wif.." before I could complete my sentence she again slap me.

"Your relationship with her died the moment you disgrace her" she said giving me hateful glare.

"I deserve it! I deserve your hatred! I deserve all this pain.. you can hit me as much as you want but please aapi let hana come with me" I begged in front of her.

"No! No aapi! Don't let him take me! He is a monster aapi! He will kill me! Please save me aapi" hana yelled and hide in her aapi's arms. Aapi caressed her back and many tear left her eyes.

"See... What you did" she said hatefully looking at me and I realised I destroy my hana.

I move back looking at her who begging everyone to save her from me. If before i felt someone snatch my heart from my chest then now I felt someone snatch a soul from my body. I became numb my entire being hurt. Painfull tear rolling down my cheeks.

"Leave rahmaan" muneeb said glaring at me and Nabeel bhai came in front of me and held my arm.

"Go rahmaan" Nabeel bhai said sternly and I have no choice rather than leaving my hana.

***********