《Blind By Love》17. I want you!
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Hey people
How are you?
Eagerly waiting for this update??
So here I am with long chapter.
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Author's
Hana was sitting on the floor next to bed hugging her knees and weeping continuesly. Rahmaan was sleeping peacefully on the bed.
Hana look up at him and again started crying loudly putting her hands on her mouth to hold her sob. She couldn't believe what had happened an hour ago. How rahmaan lost his control and force her. He was not that drunk and hana knew that but still he did this. She gather herself and stood up wiping her tears.
She went to Rahmaan's side and cover his shirtless body with duvet. She looked at him still in disbelief that he was her maan whom she loved her all life did this horrible thing to her. She turned and ran to her room.
When she enter her room she directly went to bathroom. After taking shower she changed into comfortable clothes. And looked at herself on the mirror. She saw lots of hickey on her neck shoulders and collarbone. And hand printed on her wrist. She sat on the bed and started thinking about what had happened an hour ago.
Flashback
Rahmaan pushed her on the bed and before she could do anything he got on top of her. She was shocked for moment but when she saw rahmaan coming closer to her face she turned other side and started struggling.
"Maan what are you doing?" She she said while trying to free herself from him.
"What do you think?" he whispered and started kissing her side face.
"Maan... Let go of me... You drunk" she continuesly struggling but rahmaan didn't budge.
"No... I am not drunk.. I know what I am doing" he said and kiss her jawline. He went and nuzzled his face in her neck making Hana shiver.
Rahmaan know what he was doing but still he didn't want to stop himself. He didn't know why he was behaving this much desperate for Hana but he only knows that he want her. Her beauty her innocent her crazy love for him. Even now she can screamed for help but she was not doing this because she knew if she does then it effects on Rahmaan's image and that makes him more crazy for her.
"Maan... Please don't do this" she was pushing rahmaan which make him angry. He held her both hands above her head he looked down at her for second before crashing his lips on her. He started kissed her roughly. And Hana's tears started falling.
He left her lips and went down and placed a kiss on her throat. Hana bite her lips to hold her screamed. He bite her neck and a whimpered escape her mouth
"Hana... Your making me crazy" he whispered in her neck and again bite her. He slipped her dress down from her shoulders and kissed her all over.
"Maan... Please... don't... do this" she sob. He felt anger raising hearing her cry.
"Hana... Stop this damn crying... You said na I have all rights... I am your husband then it's your duty to full fill your husband's needs and desires" he said on her face loudly. Making Hana gulped in fear.
"You have all rights but maan... It's not right... before ruksati it's not..." Rahmaan didn't let her finished her sentence.
"Oh shut up... I don't care... I want you that's it.. You are in my nikah and that's enough for you to relax.. we are doing nothing wrong" he said buried his face in her neck again inhaling her scent. Hana stop struggling and tried to convince herself on Rahmaan's word but couldn't.
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When he realised that she stop struggling he left her hands and started roaming his hands on her body.
Hana love him way too much to feel his touched disgust.. she didn't feel disgust him touching her.. it just that she was not ready for this and if rahmaan successful what he was doing without her consent then she will never be able to forgive him.
He was continued kissed her and touched her body everywhere. He started unbuttoning his shirt and Hana looked at him wide eyes. Many tears fall from her eyes.. he threw his shirt on the floor and looked down at Hana and saw tears falling from her eyes.
"Relax hana... it's not wrong... You know na... We're married... So stop crying" he said softly wiping her tears. Hana looked at him with pleading eyes and tried one last time to stop him
"Maan... I know it's not wrong... And trust me... I love you way too much to ever deny you... It's just that I am not ready for this and I know your not drunk but your not stable either... And I want our this moment to be love not just lust... Please understand maan... I love you... Don't do.. this..." Her voice crack and she covered her face and started crying loudly.
Rahmaan was looking at her and felt uneasy in his heart. He uncovered her face and cupped her face wiping her tears he placed his lips on hers and kissed her softly for some time before got up and laid beside her closing his eyes. Hana surprised for few minutes and turned to see rahmaan asleep. She let out a sighed of relief with small gasped and sat up.
She was looking at rahmaan while slowly standing up from his bed but her knees felt weak. she slid down on the floor crying silently.
Flashback end
Hana stare at the ceiling for sometime and then her eyes felt heavy and she closed her eyes for some sleep.
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POV.
I opened my eyes and as sunlight hit me a groaned escape my mouth and I closed my eyes again. I started feeling pain in my head so I just lied down on my bed for few minutes before opening my eyes again. I sat up for few more minutes holding my head while thinking why I felt this pain. And I recall that I was with my friends last night and drank with them. I really tried to stop them but ended up drinking with them.
I removed duvet from my body and stood up. And walked toward washroom but halt on my place when I saw my shirt on the floor. And tried to remember how I came here and as soon as i remembered last night's event which placed with Hana my eyes widened and i sat on the nearby couch thinking what I had done.
'Maan... please... don't...do this' i heard Hana pleaded voice and everything what had happened started clearly flashing in my mind.
I was not that drunk so I clearly remember what I've done. I was not drunk but still I lost my control.
Shit!!! I tried to force myself on girl! How can I do this!?
I cursed under my breath.. I couldn't believe I did this. I mean, i was not that type of person who force girls. So how can I ended up forcing hana.?
This girl make me do strange think. First I felt something inside me when I kissed her, and now I tried to forced her.
I sigh shaking my head. But a small smile appears on my lips as I remember her in my room on my bed beneath me.
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Uggh! Rahmaan! Stop this nonsense thought and think about the way to apologize to her.
I told myself and sighed before went to Washroom.
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Hana's POV
I woke up with an alarm sound. I felt little headache due to less sleep but i ignored it because I wanted to go to college. So I got out of my bed and took my clothes before went to washroom. After I came out of washroom dressed. I went in front of mirror. When I was drying my hair my eyes landed on the marks on my neck. A little gasp escaped my mouth.
Oh Allah! This mark is so visible. If anyone saw then what will they think about me!
I started panicking and thinking what to do and an idea popped in my mind. I tied up my hair and wrapped my dupatta to hide my neck it's the only way I can hide that marks. I know everyone will looked at me with weird looks but I don't have choice.
I sighed and came out of my room after getting ready for college and went toward dining room. There was no one so I just sat on chair. I knew mama was in kitchen preparing breakfast, usually I went to help her but today i don't felt like that.
I seated there and again my mind went to last night. What maan was going to do. What if he didn't stop? Will I able to face him? Or forgive him? I really love him.. I didn't want anythink to spoil over relationship. Many things started coming in my mind. I didn't no when I lost on my thoughts that I didn't felt presence behind me until I heard a voice.
"Good morning" I nearly got heart attach when i heard someone whispered.
Maan's whispered.
I didn't turned to face him. I froze on my placed. My heart started beating faster. Fear and blushed both came at the some time. My cheeks heat up as I remember how maan kissed me touched me. I looked down didn't wanted to make any eye contact with him.
"Angry?" He asked. Again in the some tone but little louder.
When I didn't response he sighed and sat beside me. But I didn't dare looking up at him.
"Hana.." he was about to say something but i cut him off.
"I... I should....he..help.. ma..ma.." I stammered and stood up to go.
"Okay after breakfast.. we need to talk hana" I heard maan said.
"After that..i am going to...col...college.." I said in low voice stammering again. And turned to go but he held my wrist and pulled me on his lap. My eyes widened and I looked at him in bewilderment.
"What are you doing?!. leave me! everyone is coming" I yelled whispered while wiggle but he held my waist tightly.
"I don't care.... First promise me that you are not going anywhere without listening what I want to say" he demanded while eyeing my dupatta with frown.
"Maan... Please leave me... If someone saw then it will be embarrassing... Please let me go" I begged but he shook his head as no. And about to opened my dupatta but I held his hand. I gave him questioning look.
"I don't like you like this.. please remove this" he said pouted and my smiled threatened to come but I hold it back.
"Then don't do it again" I said Looking at him. He looked at me confused.
"What?"
"Yeh aapki maherbani hai (this is your kindness)" I said with sarcastic smile rolling my eyes
"I.." before he could say anything we heard foot steps. I began panicking.
"Maan leave me" I said trying to unwrapped his hands but he held me more tightly.
"Until you promise me that you will come to my room after breakfast" he said not caring about my panic state.
"Maan.. I can't"
"Fine" he said stubbornly and pulled me more closer my eyes widened when I heard foot steps coming closer.
"Okay okay okay....I promise.. now leave me please" I said hurriedly and he smiled victoriously and as his arms unwrapped me I jumped on my foot.
"Now sit here"he ordered me and i looked at him and sighed before sitting on my previous place.
Everyone came and we had our breakfast with little chit chat while all the time fathima aapi busy to gave me and maan Mischievous looks with smirked. maan didn't give her any attention but my cheeks red like tomato.
After breakfast they all stood to go while I was sitting there thinking should I go to his room or not.
I heard someone coughing beside me. I looked at that person and it's maan. He stood up to go.
"I am waiting" he whispered closed to my ear and went to his room.
My heart beat beating like crazy but my fear was still there. I waited for few minutes before standing up.
Mama and fathima riya aapi still on the table having there breakfast while talking. As I stood up and turned to go but fathima aapi stop me.
"Where are going?" She asked. I look at her and started feeling nervous.
"Um.. I am.. going for college?" I said more than questions rather than statement. Fathima aapi smirked looking at me.
"But.. front door is left side not right" fathima aapi said giggling.
"Stop it fathima.. you know she is going to call rahmaan to drop her.. right hana?" Mama asked and I immediately nodded yes. And ran from there.
I knocked on the door and less than second maan opened the door and pulled me inside holding my wrist. And closed the door.
We were standing there silently maan was staring at me head to toe and I again felt nervousness and fear. He took step closer to me and i started panicking. As he took a step closer I took 2 3 steps back and hit the door as we were still near the door. My eyes getting wet as last night event flash in my head.
"Hey... Hana... Don't be scared.. I am not going to do anything.. please listen to me" he said his voice held sincerity. And I felt calm and nodded my head. He brought his hand near my cheeks it took me everything not to flinched as he touched my cheeks and wiped my tears. He took my wrist and led me to the bed he made me sit on the bed. And sat next to me.
He was sitting there looking at hana. He felt that Hana was little scared of last night. So he have to be gentle with her, he knew he did wrong thing and he have to apologize but with that he wanted Hana to know about his feelings or should say his desire/lust for her. Because he knew after what had happened between them last night he can't get rid of those feelings without claiming Hana his. So he was going to use Hana's innocent love for his desire.
He knew hana couldn't resist him for long and Hana was just scared now but her love for him was still there just like yesterday nothing change. If anything change than hana would've gave him disgust or hate look but instead he saw blushed when he said good morning and sat beside her on the dining table. So he took that green signal and did what he did on the dining table.
"Hana what had happened last night... I want to apologize for that.. I really didn't meant to hurt you.. i just lost my control.. I am sorry" he said bowing his head and that stupid naive Hana felt bad seeing his bow head. She instantly cupped his face and made him looked at her.
"No maan.. you don't have to bow your head in front of me... I don't like this" she said tears were in her eyes. While a small smiled curved rahmaan face without his knowing. He really like when Hana behaved this innocent and make him feel most important person in this whole world and that increased his need for her. Her innocent doing wrong things to rahmaan.
"Your not angry?" He asked and Hana shook her head as no with small smiled.
"No.. I am not.. I am just little scared." She said looking down with her quivering lips. And tears fall from her eyes.
"Oh Hana... I am so sorry.. please don't be scared of me.. I felt hurt" he said hugging her. He was choosing his words wisely which knew touched Hana's heart. And it did. When Hana heard he felt hurt if she scared of him she instantly hugged him back.
"No. Maan... I am not scared of you.. I am just scared of alcohol.. I know you would've never did this if you didn't drank alcohol" she said and he let out breath of relief.
"Hana... I want to be honest with you" he began to put his desires in front of her with as softly as he can. Hana didn't say anything and lie on his chest closing her eyes, she felt relaxed when he started rubbing her back lovingly.
"What I did last night i felt regret about it... I felt angry that I lost my control and tried to force you..." He paused. this time he was saying truly being honest.
"....But.. that Doesn't mean.... I don't want this" he continued and a frowned appear her face she was confused for few seconds but when she realised what he meant her eyes snapped opened and she pulled back.
Rahmaan looked at her and waited for her to say something but Hana's voice died in her throat. Rahmaan come close to her and cupped her face.
"Hana I want you" he declared his desire which was visible in his eyes and he wanted hana to see his desire for her. Hana's eyes widened when she saw his eyes filled with desire and lust for her. And only one word echoed her head.
I am stuck
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