I walked in alone into Matthew's father's hospital room. It didn't even look like a hospital room, it was much more luxurious and bigger than a normal hospital room. Well, I can't blame him for being rich. As I walked in he looked up and laid his eyes on me. He smiled at me and I nervously smiled back. '' Ahh Nawal, take a seat. '' He said, I nodded slowly and took a seat on a chair beside the bed he was laying on. I was nervous and my body was shaking, I don't really know why but I guess it's because I'm sitting next to the father of the son who I love. '' Are you feeling much better? '' He asked. '' Yes much better, but how are you? '' I asked with a confused expression.

'' I'm better, thank you. '' He nods as I nervously play with my fingers. He looks down for a second, '' I'm sorry Nawal. '' He suddenly says, I look up at him. '' Sorry? For what? '' I asked him. He sighed and looked at me before he spoke. '' For putting you and Matthew so much, I was too tough and I was the reason you- '' I interrupted his sentence.

'' Mr.Bayaroads, Don't blame yourself. You never were the reason why we broke up or fought. My brother, he was the only problem. He tried to harm us and threatened us, so please, believe me, It's not your fault. The only thing you did do was being a father, you cared for Matthew. You were worried about him and that's a father's duty. '' I said with a big smile on my face. His expression turned straight, I couldn't understand what he was feeling.

'' Nawal, I'm so relieved that you understand me. I, I don't know what to say. Nobody understood I'm so happy that you understand why I acted like that. '' He said with pain in his eyes. I could see that he was suffering, suffering from everything. He really bad unforgotten past. After some talking and laughing for a few minutes Aunt Rima walked into the room. She looked at me and I nodded at her. '' Then I will not disturb you anymore, Mr.Bayaroads. '' I looked at him and he nodded. '' Please, come over often. '' He said and I nodded with a smile. I walked out silently. I looked around and saw Matthew leaning on a wall near the entrance.

I walked over to him, '' Babe, what took you so long? '' He said as soon as he saw me. I let out a chuckle, '' I swear you don't have any patience. '' I rolled my eyes as I walked out of the hospital. He jogged after me, '' Let's go over to your family's house. '' He said, my heart skipped a beat. I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, '' Matt, I don't have the nerves to face them right now. And you know that. '' I cross my arms. He shakes his head, '' But we have to, I'm nervous to face them too. But we can't keep lying, It's better if we just open up about everything. '' He says. I punch his stomach and he groans loudly, '' That's what you get for being stupid, I swear I should just kill you someday. '' I say as I get into Matthew's car.

He gets in after some seconds. '' Okay, fine where do you want to go? '' He says with a serious tone like he's pissed. I look at him, '' Are you angry? '' I ask him. He sighs as he shakes his head. '' No, Nawal. I'm just tired... '' He replied. I leaned closer to him and kissed his cheek. '' I'm so sorry Matthew, you're going through so much just because of me. I love you so much Matthew, '' A big smile appears on his face. He looks at me, '' I love you too Nawal Hassan. '' He said as he kissed my forehead.

I'm so fucking lucky.

I'm looking at myself in the mirror, I look awful. My eyes are sore and I look pale. The dark circles under my eyes are deeper than my future. I haven't slept since the day Nawal found about everything, It's been the worst days for me. I've tried to call her but she ignores my calls, she has forgotten about me. She doesn't want anything with me to do, and I understand her. I mean I've been lying to her for years, I mean if someone did that to me I would've done the same thing. I wish that I had told her, told her about me and her brother.

I've always known Sejad, since I was a little girl. But the first time I really noticed him was when I was 9 years old and he was 15 years old. Everyone liked him and every girl talked about how hot he was, I never really understood what was so special about him. I only saw him as Nawal's brother, and I never talked to him. I mean I never had the nerves to do so. But as I older I got I noticed how handsome he got, he really became a man.

One time after school some boys were messing with me, they were calling me names and bullying me. From nowhere Sejad appeared, he then noticed that they were messing with me and he started yelling at them and threatened them to beat them. And of course, everyone was scared of Sejad so they ran away. He asked me if I were okay and I just nodded. He walked me home, and omg I can still remember what happened that day. We were laughing and joking so much, we just clicked.

We got closer without anyone knowing, and then we just started dating. I regret It every day, I wish I never talked to him or even looked at him. He is the reason why my life is a mess right now. However, the first month we dated was the bests months of my life. We did everything together and I really felt like he cared and loved me, and he really did. He used to sneak into my home when my parents were home just to give me food just in case I was hungry.

He was ridiculous, and I was ridiculously in love. But then something happened, he changed. He completely changed, he became a monster. He treated me like shit, like I was trash to him. He started fucking other girls and went to parties with his friends. He used to fucking walk past me as he was holding another girl. He destroyed me, but I loved him. I loved him so fucking much, I couldn't leave him. But I had to, so I asked him to meet me. He came after hours of waiting for him, see he was really cold. When he came I just wanted to make it short, so I just spat it out. '' Let's break up ''

I remember him widening his eyes, the first thing he did was taking a gun out of his pocket. Oh my god my heart, my heart skipped a beat. I couldn't breathe. He threatened to kill me, to kill me there. He forced me to go with him to a hotel, and there... My life changed.

He disappeared a week later, and I missed him so much. Yes, after what he did I still loved him. And I still love him, I love him but I shouldn't. I won't forgive him, never.

Suddenly I heard someone knock on my door, It was probably my friend Najah. I ran downstairs and I opened without thinking. And there he stood, the man I was just talking about. The man I will never forgive, but I still love. Sejad.

'' Fuck you, fuck you for making me fall for you. '' He said before he hugged me tightly.

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