I was laying on Leila's lap while I was crying my heart out. She caresses my head, '' I love him, I love him so fucking much. But I had to leave him. '' I say between my sobs, I feel her sighting. '' Love, breath. I know you do, and he loves you too. But did he have an explanation? '' She asked and I shook my head. '' No, I didn't let him. I was just angry and I was just yelling at him. '' I tell her.

'' Turns out Loren knew too. '' I say, '' She did? '' She asks shocked. I nod, '' Everything. Everything Leila. '' I cry harder. '' I took him above my religion, He took my first kiss and I slept beside him on his own bed. I did the things with him that I never expected to do and he still lied to me. '' I say and sob. Stagfrullah, I disrespected Allah just because of him. I just fucking realized it. I used to be so religious and took Allah above him, astaghfirullah ya Allah please forgive my sins. '' Nawal, he was worried about you being in danger. That's why he did it, he cares about you and loves you. That's why. '' She says, I sat up on the bed and looked straight in her eyes.

'' And what if Baba founds out that Sejad wasn't the one who paid off the debt but my boss, don't you think he will suspicious something?! '' I wipe my tears away with my hands. She nods and sighs. '' I understand, but he doesn't know anything about our culture. You should've explained everything to him. ''

I sobbed one more time and shook my head, I took up my phone from my pocket.

137 missed calls & 91 messages from Jerky

I turned off my phone, '' Answer him, he's worried about you. '' I hear Leila say. I look up at her, '' Leila, I need my space right now. ''

'' Bro she isn't fucking answering! '' I shout while I feel like I'm burning inside. I can't lose her, I can't lose her, I can't lose her, I can't fucking lose her! What the fuck should do? Should I drive to her village or should just wait until she answers me. But I can't fucking do that! I'm walking around the living room nervously, my mind is about to blow up. I can't lose the woman I love! '' Matthew calm down! Please calm down! '' Loren begs me. Ryan walks up to me, he tries to make me sit down but I push him away from. '' Ryan please leave me alone for a second, please I need to clear my mind. I don't know what to do and I don't want to lose Nawal just because of 900.000 dollars. Just let me clear my mind. '' I say softly.

He looks straight in my eyes and nods. '' Let's go home to you Loren. '' He says and she nods. He looks back at me, '' Be careful. '' He gives me a small smile and I nod at him. When they leave I sit on the couch with my face in my hands. What should I do? What should I fucking do? This is the first time this is happening to me, I don't know how to solve these things. I walk up to the fridge and took out some beers cans, I opened one of them and began to drink. Alcohol will keep my mind distracted, that's what I need now.

I walk back to the couch and took up my phone, I put the beer can on the table.

Babe, this is me again. Please message me back, I'm worried about you. I'm sorry Nawal, I'm sorry for lying to you. Please Nawal, please Nawal answer my calls. I love you more than anything... - I press the send button, I feel my whole body shaking. I'm scared, I'm scared to lose her.

I walk into my brother's house, I feel a bad smell. The smell of alcohol? Alcohol? But my brother doesn't drink? I walk to the living room and when I walk in my jaw drops. About 20 beer cans are laying everywhere. I see brother laying on the floor, I run up to him. I shake his body. '' Matthew! Matthew! Wake up! '' I shout. I feel how nervous I became. What if he's dead?! What the fuck am I thinking?! I feel his pulse, and thank god he's still breathing. He began to move and I feel much calmer. He slowly opens his eyes, '' Nawal? '' He suddenly says. Nawal? Isn't she the one with the hijab? Oh my, Matthew must die for her. He looks he loves her to death, when he's around her he is the happiest person. But they can't... they just can't.

'' Matthew It's me, Ari. '' I tell him, he sighs and rubs his eyes. '' Ariana what are you doing here? '' He groans. He seems very depressed, something has happened. I mean of course who the fuck drinks about 20 beer cans? '' What are you doing laying on the ground with empty alcohol cans around you? '' I frown. He gives me a little smile and looks around. '' Oh, I had nothing to do yesterday so I just drank all the beers I found. '' He says, he's lying. He's not the type of guy who just drinks alcohol because he's bored. '' Ma- ''

'' Op, looks like I need to hurry to work. I'm a CEO you know and there's no Company without a CEO '' He jokes but I can see the pain in his eyes. He's hurting, definitely.

I walk into the Company with my exhausted self, I don't feel good. Not at all, I should've stayed home. But If I did I wouldn't get Nawal out of my head. I would just think about her, work can help me get her out of my mind for a moment. Employees greet me and I greet them back like nothing's wrong with me. I don't like to look weak, so that's not what I'm going to look like. I check my phone if Nawal has answered, I see that's she read all the messages but didn't reply back. I sigh and walk into my office.

I see Loren and Ryan in my office. I close the door behind me and they look at me, '' Good morning Matthew. '' Loren nods at me and I smile back. '' How are you feeling today? '' Ryan asks me. Even I don't know how I'm feeling. '' I think I feel empty... '' I tell him. He looks down and sighs. '' Have Nawal answered you yet? '' Loren asked me, I walked to my seat and put my things on my table. I ignore her comment but I think she understood.

'' I talked to her yesterday on the phone... '' Ryan says. I look up at him with my eyes widen. '' She seemed like she was giving up her life. She told me about her best friend and brother had a thing and they didn't tell her, and then about you and Loren betraying her. Now she doesn't want anything that involves us. She wants her normal life back and she wants to forget everything about us. She begged me to not contact her anymore and forget her, and... ''He slowly says. I look at him confused,

'' She wants you to know that she's getting engaged with a guy called Afif... ''

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