His mouth drops and I see how shocked he looks, '' Bro, you- ''

'' I don't like her, I don't. But I think about her a lot, and I almost kissed her today. '' I explain. '' Bro, If you think about a person a lot you like her, and you almost kissed her right? It's because you couldn't hold your feelings. '' He says looking at my eyes. '' Bro I know my feelings, I would never like a Muslim girl. I mean all these girls and I like a woman who wears a scarf? That's bullshit. '' I say and laugh.

I look at Ryan who takes a bite from his pizza. '' Well, don't come crying to me when you've realized you like her. '' He says and I roll my eyes. '' How did you even meet her? '' He asks. I tell him everything and he laughs his ass off. '' Bro, I would've fallen for her too, so her name is Nawal. I'm coming tomorrow with you to meet her. '' He says laughing. '' Don't you dare. '' I say and he laughs.

I sit in Leila's room with Saja and Leila, they talk about Jacob and Karim and everything that happened these days. But I don't focus on them all I can think about is Matthew. How he hugged me and almost kissed me, astaghfirullah Allah will probably never forgive me. But It felt so good, that feeling, the butterflies in my stomach and how hot I became. Ugh, what am I thinking, I slap myself in the forehead. Leila and Saja look at me confused, '' Nawal, did you just slap yourself in the forehead? '' Saja chuckles and I nod. Leila looks at me confused. '' What's on your mind love? '' She asks.

I shake my head, '' Nothing... Just nothing... '' I answer. '' You can't fool your best friends you know. '' She says and sits beside me on her bed. '' I did something really haram... '' I tell them.

'' What did you do? '' Saja asks me. I take a deep breath before I open my mouth.

'' I let Matthew hug me... and he almost kissed me. '' I tell them and I see them stand up. '' What! '' They shout. '' Dude! You've crossed the line now! '' Saja yells at me. '' How can you do that! You let an atheist man who has fucked over a million girls touch you, and he almost kissed you! '' She says, I look at Saja and realize what she's saying is true. '' Saja, shut up! Don't yell at her, everyone can do mistakes. Let her explain what happened. '' Leila says to Saja and they look at me.

'' His father has cancer, and I comforted him. Then he asked if he could hug me and I said yes, then after he hugged me he pulled away and our lips were a half-centimeter from each other. Loren came in and we let go of each other. '' I explain while I stutter. I look at their expression and It didn't look good. Leila walks around her room. '' How could you let a man hold you like that? How! You never let a man touch you, I remember in high school a guy almost touched your face and you slapped him. '' Saja says. I look down at my hands,

'' I know, but I felt sorry for him... '' My response sounds dumb, '' YOU HATED HIM A FEW DAYS AGO! '' She yells at me. '' Saja, calm down. '' Leila tries to calm Saja down. '' It was funny when we joked about how hot he looked and about you liking him, but you've crossed the line now. '' She says, '' How could you disrespect your religion for an atheist! '' Saja yells, I feel tears flooding from my eyes. '' Go home and get some sleep, I don't know what's gotten into your mind these days. '' She says pointing at the door. I do as she says and leaves Leila's house.

I walk into the company and greet some employees I've gotten to know these weeks, then I see Loren coming towards me. '' Good morning, beautiful bird. '' She says smiling. I hug her and we walk into the elevator together. '' Today an old friend of the boss is here so you should make two coffees, they like the same thing. '' She says. '' Okay. '' I nod. She looks closely at me like I have something on my face. '' Have you been crying? '' She asks. Freak.

'' What? No? Why would I do that? '' I chuckle nervously. '' It looks like you've been crying all night. '' She says. '' Well I haven't. '' I lie.

'' You know I'm here if you need me. '' She says. I nod and smile.

'' I swear I wish I hadn't brought you with me. '' I say and Ryan laughs. '' So where's Loren? I haven't seen her for years, I miss her. '' He says and smiles. Right, Ryan had a big crush on Loren but she didn't seem interested. We hear some knocks and we turn our eyes to the door, It can't be Nawal. She always storms into my office so It isn't her. '' Come in '' I say.

I see Loren coming in looking down at some files, just at the right time. '' Boss do you have the file about the designer's contact details. '' She asks, then she looks up and sees Ryan. '' Loren, long time no see. '' Ryan says and gets up to hug her. '' Oh, Ryan I didn't know you were here. '' She lies, I already messaged her about it. He let go of her and smiles. '' Isn't Nawal here yet? '' She asks. I look at her confused. '' No? '' I tell her.

'' She maybe went the toilet, she looked really sick. '' She says, I stand up from my seat and they look confused at me. '' What do you mean? '' I ask her,

'' She looked like she had been crying all night. '' She tells me. Fuck, I probably scared her when I touched her like that yesterday. I understand that she got sad, she never touched a guy in that way. '' Good morning. '' I see Nawal coming into my office with two cups of coffee. Everyone looks at her, she looks at us confused. '' What's wrong with you? Have you never seen a pretty woman? '' She laughs. '' Hello you must be Nawal, I'm Ryan an old friend of Mattew. '' Ryan greets Nawal,

'' I know, Loren told me about you. I'm Nawal, Loren's assistant. '' She chuckles. '' I kn- Wait did Loren tell you about me? But you said you didn't know I was here. '' Ryan says to Loren and Nawal laughs. I look at Nawal closely, she looks happy? It doesn't look like she had been crying. Nawal comes up to me to give me my coffee. I noticed that she tried to hide her eyes from me.

I look confused at her, '' Matthew, I'm taking Loren for a walk around the Company. '' Ryan says and disappears from my office holding Loren by her wrist. I look at Nawal who's looking down. '' Look at me. '' I say. She slowly looks up at me, '' I'm sorry, I shouldn't have touched you like that. '' I tell her. '' No It's fine, I already forgot about. '' She says, but I know she's lying.

'' Did you meet up with your father? '' She asks while cleaning my messy desk. '' No, I hadn't had time '' I tell her, she turns her face to me and looks at me like she wants to beat me to death. '' Do you hear what you're saying? '' She says frustrated. I chuckle, '' I know, I'll meet him today after work. '' I tell her and she smiles. '' I'm really sorry Nawal. I didn't know what got into me. '' I tell her.

'' It's fine I promise, but in the future let's try not touch each other. '' She says and smiles. I nod and smile. '' Did you really cry last night? '' I ask her, '' Well I did, but It wasn't about the hug. I fought with my friend yesterday. '' She explains.

'' Oh, I hope you'll solve it soon, '' I say and she smiles at me. '' We will don't worry jerk. '' She says and I laugh.

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