I slowly made my way back to the castle. I knew that it had been awhile since Elizabeth had made her way back into the castle but walking on the grounds outside, I just wasn't sure this was for me. Now that I had the time to see my friend and see the life outside of these walls I wasn't sure I could go back behind that door and act like I was fine. Phillip was acting strange and I wasn't sure I had the nerve to ask him what was going on, I knew we needed to talk but I was afraid of what he would say. The walk was taking me longer than it should have but I wasn't going as fast as I normally walked. I could have moved faster but nothing was appealing to me to move faster. I finally made my way to the doors and they opened and I made my way through the door. No one was around as I made my way through the house and I was almost to my room when I finally heard someone else moving around. I was sure that it was just a servant or Elizabeth.

"Lily please stop."

It took me a few seconds to realize that my name had been said. Once I stopped I didn't turn around right away. I wasn't sure who the voice was, I thought I may have an idea which was another reason I didn't want to turn around. I don't think I had the nerves to have a conversation with anyone right now.

"Lily please."

I decided I couldn't just stand in the middle f the hallway, I turned around after the second time of asking. I wasn't surprised to see it was Phillip that was there in the hallway, I had a feeling it would be him. It had been weeks since we have been alone and had really talked to each other which only made this harder. I was still thinking about Adam and how he felt like home and right now that is where I wanted to be. He made his way closer to me and I knew that I had to think of something.

"Lily we need to talk."

I just stared at him because I wasn't sure what I was going to say to him. I still was thinking about the past and what he had done to hurt me in the long run. I was hoping that he would just say something quick then let me be. I was starting to think that I had made my decision. I wanted to go talk with the seer to see how I can make my decision know to get back to where I wanna be.

"Lily will you say something."

"What do you want? You haven't talked to me for weeks. Now you want to talk to me!?"

I was mad and I couldn't stand seeing him at the moment. I wanted to just turn back around go into my room and leave it all behind but I knew I couldn't he was still the prince and I had to respect him. I could still upset everything if I didn't think things through.

"I know you are upset I would be too. There have been things going on that you wouldn't understand. I'm sorry but listen to me."

"No I don't have to. You went right back to how things were. I refuse to be hurt by you."

I was done being hurt by him, I have let him come back over and over again to just hurt me in the end. I turned around and made my way to my room and shut the door and was hoping that Phillip wouldn't come in. After some time of waiting I knew he wouldn't come now. I made my way back out of my room and make my way all the way down to the bottom level where the seer was. Somehow I made my way through the castle without anyone seeing me again. It was like I had become a ghost again and I am sure it had to do with me being rude to the Prince but I was done with his antics. He hadn't changed and I couldn't see him changing, I had fallen for his words these last few months but he went right back to the arrogant jerk as soon as things become normal. I made it to the back staircase that Elizabeth and I went down the night of the party. I was trying to remember which door was his and I believed I had the right door I knocked and waited for someone to come to it.

"Hello how may I help you?"

"Hello sir I'm not sure if you remember me or not but I came here during the last ball with the Princess. You told me I had a choice to choose between living here or going back home. I was hoping you would be able to help me."

"Please come in let's have a chat."

I went inside and heard the door close behind me. It didn't take long for him to talk to me. We were heading back to the door after an hour of talking. I knew what I had to do and what decisions I needed to make but I still had a lot of thinking to do.

"Thank you again for your help."

"It is my pleasure child. Just remember that the ball next week will be the last chance for you to go home."

I gave him a nod and made my way back towards the staircase. I only had a few days to make the most important decision I could possibly make. I was leaning more one way than another but the only difference between the two worlds were my best friends in each one didn't exist in the other. In this world there was a boy that seemed to like me and I wasn't sure if he truly liked me or not. It wasn't as easy as it was the first time. It seemed that where everyone was hiding when I came down was now out and about. I knew I was going to have to talk to someone. I made my way to the main staircase getting ready to go upstairs to my room when everyone that was around got silent. I turned to see the Queen and now I was afraid I had done something that made the whole family mad. How was I going to explain everything to her? Elizabeth didn't fully understand me and she just was finding ways to keep me here. The Queen moved closer and closer to me. I bowed but she pulled me up and turned me to face her. I was looking in the Queen's eyes and I couldn't find any words. My brain went completely blank and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell if she sensed this or not but she took my hand and pulled me towards one of her private rooms. With each step I became more nervous and didn't know how to act anymore.

"Lily my dear please sit."

She pointed to a chair that was next to a window. I made my way over to the chair and did as she said. I watched as she moved with such elegance to a chair that was across from the one I was in.

"Now my dear please tell me what is going on in your head?"

I didn't know what was going on in my head and I didn't know what I could tell her and what I should keep to myself. I felt like this was a trap and I should just keep my mouth closed. But I had a feeling that Elizabeth got it from her mother about not taking no for an answer. She would get her way with me talking to her.

"Lily please talk to me. I would like to know what is going on. I don't know what happened. Things seemed to be going so well and now I see you pulling away."

"I guess I am pulling away. I didn't want to be hurt anymore. I know everyone is saying that Phillip has changed but over these last few weeks I have noticed the same Phillip that was here before he left is coming back. I don't want my heart to be hurt by anyone. So I guess I am pulling away. I am also trying to figure out where I need to be and how to get there."

"What do you mean where you should be? Do you not feel welcomes here?"

I could see the hurt in her eyes. She had been so kind to me and welcomed me into her home and treated me like I was her daughter and I didn't like seeing the hurt I had put into her eyes. I know my mother sent me here to better my relationship with the royals and to secure the treaty that they had in place but I no longer wanted to stick with the treaty.

"You have made me feel very welcomed in your home. There are just some things that I am thinking about and trying to figure out. I can't talk to anyone because I need to do this on my own. No one would understand or believe me if I told them anyways."

That was as much as I was willing to tell her without having myself locked up. If that happened I would never be able to get home. I now knew that I would be able to go home in a few days. I only needed to survive for a few days until the ball and then I could put this all behind me. My heart did hurt thinking about leaving all the people I did get close to here.

"Is that why you have been to see the royal seer twice? I know about when my daughter took you down there and I know that is where you just were. Did you get the answers you were hoping for?"

"Yes and No. I now have a decision I never thought I would have to make and I am not sure what I should do that won't create more pain for everyone."

"Sweetie you need to trust your heart and go where it keeps pulling you too. The harder the decision the more you want to go with it. Your heart won't led you to the unknown. It may take some time to get the results you were hoping to get too but it will get you down the right path."

Maybe she was right because I have been trying to think with my head too much. Maybe I needed to let go of the logic and start using my heart to think for this. It was the fear of not knowing what will happen that made things very nerve wrecking and scary. If I knew what the outcome would be than my nerves wouldn't be so bad.

"Would it be possible to move back home? I don't want to offend anyone but in order to find out what my heart is saying I think I need to go back to my parents. I promise after the ball I will know what my heart is trying to tell me."

I could see she was thinking and I am sure that if she did tell me I could it would be going against what her husband wanted. Would she be willing to do that for me to find out what my heart was trying to say?

"Yes I will give you the few days until the ball to figure out what your heart has been trying to say to you. I know that you have to step back to be able to see what is in front of you. Just promise to open your heart up and don't keep it closed or you won't get your true answer."

She stood from her chair and walked over to me. I stood up meeting her gaze when she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug. I gave her a slight hug back but then took off to go to my room to back some of my belongings. I was heading home and I wondered if it would take some time before the word got to the King. Maybe I would already be home and he wouldn't be able to do anything. If I was caught here he would be able to stop me. I would have to listen to him as my King. I was packing as fast as I could. I was hoping I didn't' forget anything. I was in the middle of putting my dresses into the chest when I heard a knock on the door. I froze I didn't know if I should answer or pretend I wasn't here. I didn't know if they heard me in the room or not. I just stood there staring at the door.