《Helluva Harem》I got Friends
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[Entering the mansion you're impressed by its interior design.]
Y/n: Wow, Asmodeus knows how to decorate the place.
Fizzarolli: Hah! I'm the one who decorates his place. He just buys the stuff.
Y/n: Oh...
Fizzarolli: C'mon let's go put these groceries away.
[You walked over to the kitchen, the smell of insta-cooked noodles floods your nose]
Fizzarolli: Ah shit, he ate without me...
[Fizzarolli then organizes all the groceries before rushing over to the bedroom. You sat in the living room waiting for a couple of minutes before Asmodeus and Fizzarolli come back out. Asmodeus was clearly sad.]
Fizzarolli: I'm sorry it took so long Ozzie. The line was long, the cashier passed out, it was a mess! Y/n here helped me out with everything, he even gave us free groceries. [Winking at you to play along]
Asmodeus: Like it matters! You know it's special to me when it comes to our date nights, and you taking forever just soured my mood.
Fizzarolli: Please forgive me?
[Asmodeus looks at Fizzarolli with a saddened face, then picking him up and rubbing his face onto Fizz's. A warm smile on both the lover's faces.]
Asmodeus: Don't apologize, I was never mad in the first place.
Y/n: So how long have you two been a thing?
Fizzarolli: We've been friends for 8 years, but our 2 year anniversary is coming up in a couple of months.
Asmodeus: If you want to know, I asked him out first.
Fizzarolli: Bullshit! You were getting all clammy and shit. I had to take the words out of your mouth!
Y/n: So the Icon of Lust couldn't get his feelings out? That's funny.
Fizzarolli: I mean he never really dealt with love until he met me.
Asmodeus: Plus, if anyone found out about us, it would ruin my reputation.
Y/n: I mean what's so bad about that? You maybe the representation of lust but you can still have your own emotions and life. You know one day y'all are going to get caught. Secrets are hard to keep, especially in your status.
Fizzarolli: He does have a point, it's not like we can keep this behind the curtains forever.
Asmodeus: But I'd like to keep it a secret, besides if hell found out about me being with an Imp. That can fuck me over.
Y/n: Like that matters Ozzie. If you love that man [Point to Fizzarolli] then nothing should matter.
[Asmodeus looks over to Fizzarolli, his tongue sticking out in a cute way.]
Asmodeus: Fine, I'll tell all of hell that Fizz is my Boyfriend, but only on one condition.
Y/n: At that is?
Asmodeus: I'll announce it on our two year anniversary. I want the people to know I'm serious about him.
[Fizzarolli climbs up to Asmodeus's face and nuzzles with him. Ozzie nuzzles back and they share a kiss.]
Asmodeus: You are adorable.
Fizzarolli: And you are so attractive when you're all serious.
Y/n: And I'll be leaving now, have fun you to!
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Fizzarolli: Wait Y/n!
[Fizzarolli then whispers something to Asmodeus. Asmodeus then gets a suprised look on his face before a grin takes it place.]
Asmodeus: Oh Y/n, I didn't know my looks grabbed your attention.
Fizzarolli: I mean he is the the prince of lust.
Y/n: Oh? [Realizing what's happening] Oh...
Asmodeus: You down for a threesome?
Fizzarolli: I know I am. Kinda wanted to what you're packing down there since we met.
Asmodeus: He is an attractive man.
Y/n: Aww y'all are making me blush. Fuck it, I'm down.
Fizz & Asmodeus: Perfect!
[Asmodeus leads you to his bedroom, and shuts the door. He begins undressing. Fizzarolli comes up behind you and feels you up.]
Fizzarolli: You should take this off...
[Fizzarolli then undresses you, then he undresses himself. Asmodeus then comes over to you and pushes you back into the bed. Fizzarolli hangs over his shoulder. Both their eyes glowed]
Fizzarolli & Asmodeus: Get ready for a night of fun~
[The three of you had an entire fuck-fest. From sucking cock, to penetrating holes. The experience was something new but overall enjoyable. Asmodeus knew the way to move while Fizzarolli had tricks up his sleeve, including actually party tricks. You learned that the flames on Asmodeus's head were actually warm instead of fire hot. After a 12 hour sessions, the three of you just sat in bed blankets covering your body.]
Asmodeus: [Lighting a cigar] You know... That was the first time having my hole violated like that...
Y/n: [Eating a bag of gummy candy] Sorry, Angel Dust taught me that trick one night and he loves it when I do it. I figured I can try it on someone else.
Asmodeus: Hey! I didn't say it was bad, just caught me by suprise is all.
Fizzarolli: [Chugging a bottle of water] I legit can't move... How the hell did you manage to make me paralyzed with fucking robot limbs for hellsake.
Asmodeus: Well your limbs always lock up when we do this.
Fizzarolli: Yeah but I usually get all motor function after a couple of minutes. I think you guys double teaming me actually fucked me up.
Y/n: Well that can apply to anyone.
Asmodeus: Exactly, the fact I had to take 2 dicks in same hole, then you shoving your hands into my throat has me all sorts of feelings.
Y/n: I mean my throat got fucked since you were essentially holding my head down the entire time while Fizz's serpent tongue violated my asshole.
Fizzarolli: But do we all agree that was possibly the best sex we ever had?
Y/n: Honestly... Yeah it was.
Asmodeus: Couldn't agree more. That shit felt great after all the stress bullshit I have to deal with.
[Fizzarolli sat there for a moment before leaning up against you, he nuzzles into you shoulder.]
Fizzarolli: Hey Y/n... Wanna be our third boyfriend?
[Asmodeus then wraps his arm around you and Fizzarolli.]
Asmodeus: Don't you think it's kind of sudden? Not that I don't mind I genuinely like Y/n.
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Fizzarolli: I mean we were friends with benefits after 2 months of meeting.
Asmodeus: True...
Y/n: Sure why not, I like the both of y'all and I can see some fun stuff coming out of it. Not just the sex I mean, like I can actually see a night of fun like going out to dinner or something.
Asmodeus: I don't mind that.
Fizzarolli: Then it's Official!
[Fizzarolli grabs your face before passionately kissing you.]
Asmodeus: Hey don't leave me out of this!
[You stopped kissing Fizzarolli then kissed Asmodeus. The flame in your face felt healing to you.]
Y/n: Y'all wanna join this group chat I'm in? It has all my friends and stuff.
Asmodeus: I don't see the problem... Who's in it?
Y/n: Stella Goetia, Octavia Goetia, Verosika mayday, and some work place friends.
Fizzarolli: Doesn't sound that bad honestly.
Asmodeus: You already have our phone numbers right?
Y/n: Yeah don't worry, Fizz can you pass me my phone?
Fizzarolli: Sure! [Extending his arm to grab the phone.] You know anyone else famous? You seem to have a streak of people in power.
Y/n: Besides from you guys and the people I mentioned... Well, there's Alastor the radio demon, and obviously Angel Dust. I know Charlie Morningstar, Katie Killjoy, Death or The Grim rea-
Asmodeus: Wait a minute, you know the grim reaper?
Y/n: Yeah, I call him Uncle Death.
Fizzarolli: Now that's something...
Y/n: Well here's something else. During a work trip I technically died, but he gave me an out. I become a reaper and work with him once a week, I get to live again.
Asmodeus: Wow... You work under one of the for horsemen's.
Fizzarolli: Haha, that technically makes him for famous than you Ozzie!
Y/n: Nah don't worry about me taking the spotlight. I'd like to keep this stuff low-key. You know, like no one in the public knows. Only friends.
Asmodeus: Yeah I get what you mean... So who else do you know?
Y/n: I know Stolas Ars Goetia and that's all the famous people I know. Of course my other friends are pretty cool, Millie, Moxxie, Loona, Blitz-
Fizzarolli: Wait wait wait wait. You know Blitzo?
Y/n: Yeah, why?
Fizzarolli: Me and that asshole go way back.
Y/n: How back?
Fizzarolli: When we were kids back. I'd rather not get into but I hate his guts.
Asmodeus: He doesn't like talking a lot about his past... I can't blame him.
Y/n: Oh...
Fizzarolli: Do me a favor for me though. The next time you see him, give him a good punch to the gut. Tell him it's from Fizz.
Y/n: Alright... So do y'all have anything to do today?
Asmodeus: Nope, one of my days off.
Fizzarolli: Me Neither, why you got any plans?
Y/n: Nope, I figured we can just go around the rings and have some fun. I really don't want to go back to my place since it's being occupied by two people and sleeping there is a nightmare.
Fizzarolli: Ahhh so you have annoying roommates.
Y/n: The opposite actually, they're sweet people but my apartment is just too small for three people. It's clearly meant for 1 person only.
Asmodeus: Have you considered moving out?
Y/n: Yes actually, I have a shit ton of money that I barely touch. I was thinking about getting a proper house... Maybe a mansion.
Asmodeus: I can help you find one, any specific ring you want to live in?
Y/n: I'm trying to stay in pride. Most of my friends live there anyways.
Asmodeus: Pride isn't amazing when it comes to housing since all the sinners have taken up every hole they can take, but I'll try to find some.
Y/n: I mean it doesn't have to be a in pride.
Asmodeus: I can probably find something in gluttony! They have some nice mansions over there.
Y/n: Gluttony would be nice, it's not that far from pride.
Asmodeus: Perfect, I'll send an agent out right now. I'll send you photos when I find something.
Fizzarolli: Oh Ozzie, make sure it's not one of those "Luxury houses" that have like 50 pools and the interior makes no fucking sense.
Asmodeus: Why do you think we stopped letting Mammon design the houses for all the rings? I know what house to look out for.
Y/n: Something sleek for me, maybe the interior has black and red.
Fizzarolli: You like it sleek, Nice.
Asmodeus: Well that makes it easier.
[Asmodeus grabs his phone then text a couple of people. He then puts his phone back down on the night stand]
Asmodeus: I have 4 agents running through all of gluttony now.
Y/n: Thanks Ozzie, Looking for houses is an actual literal hell.
[You grabbed your phone and open your bank app, you barely check it since you don't by a lot of things but you check it once and awhile. Looking at the money you have left you've barely scratched the surface. You haven't even managed to spend past 100,000 souls. You turned you phone of before leaning back into Asmodeus arm.]
Y/n: So y'all want to do anything?
Asmodeus: I mean... We can go to the beach?
Fizzarolli: Yeah... Maybe you can invite everyone! Minus Blitzo of course.
Y/n: Nah if I invite everyone I invite everyone, including Blitz. No one left behind.
Fizzarolli: Ugh...
Asmodeus: You can just stay away from him, if you ignore him he'll probably ignore you.
Fizzarolli: Fine... Let's go to the beach, I heard its a good time to go anyways. Hell has been having heat spikes recently.
Y/n: Alright, just let me tell everyone.
[You texted everyone seeing if they can go to the beach. Everyone agreed surprisingly. You then proceeded to add Fizzarolli and Asmodeus to the group chat.]
Y/n: Everyone's coming.
Asmodeus: Perfect, I'll get my swimsuit.
Fizzarolli: I'll prepare the cooler.
Y/n: And I'm going take take some stuff out of my car.
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