[You're in the streets of hell. Some blood and guts left over from the recent cleanse.]

He should be here soon...

[A sinner has fallen into Hell and has been transformed into a demon. He falls face-first onto the road and is surprised to see that he is still "alive".]

Aaaaah! [lands] Ugh. Huh? [checks himself] I'm alive! I'm alive-

[He then gets run over by a taxi driven by Travis which Angel Dust walks out of. Travis snickers.]

Heh. Thanks for the fun time, hot stuff!

[pushes his hand through his hair] Yeah, yeah, listen. [Fixes his hair more] Keep this discreet, you hear me? I can't let out I'm offerin' my services to randos on the street! It was a quick cash grab [makes a gesture with his fingers and snaps his fingers at him, smiling]. Ya got it?

Pfft! Whatever you say, slut! Muhehehehehehe!

[pretends to be offended] Ouch! Ooh! [turns back to face him] Such an insult! Let me know when you've come up with something creative to call me [looms over Travis and points at him with all his index fingers], you sack of poorly packaged horse shit! Tell the missus I said "hi" [kisses him], Shnuckums!

[defeatedly] Pack a - puh...

[As Travis angrily drives off, Angel looks behind him to see a vending machine for drugs. He goes for the angel dust and just as he gets a hold of it, a random demon runs by and steals his drugs.]

Yoink!

[annoyed] Hey!

Up yours, drag show!

[A boulder proceeds to fall out of the sky, crushing the feathered demon alongside Angel's drugs. Angel gasps.]

Oh my GOD! [leans in to pick up what's left of his pack of drugs with a devastated look on his face] MY DRUGS! [clenches the cloth angrily and looks up] Damn it!

[A war ship can be seen passing by, destroying its surroundings.]

Hey Angel.

Well if it ain't my knight in shining armor!

So what exactly are we meeting up for?

[Hugging you] Cherri said she need help with something.

[on the war ship]

[operating the controls to his ship] Ahahahahahahahahahahah! Those other cowardly ssssinners dare not hinder my territorial take-over! A wise decision! The power of my machines are unmatched! [proceeds to push two levers as his hood flares open] No other demon can compare to the likesss of I!

Gee! That was pretty swell, boss!

Yeah!

You really showed them what for! I liked when you [his hand mimics the action of a shooting ray gun] shot them with your ray gun! [gets slapped away by Sir Pentious]

I wish he'd shoot me with his ray gun! [Other Egg Boi pats him]

[hood flares open] At this rate, I will seize control of the entire west side of The Pentagram by day's end! [pushes a few buttons] And nothing, [pulls levers towards him] not a single beast in this inferno of suffering will be able to take back this empire from [squeezes an Egg Boi with his tail] my constrictive grasp!

[An Egg Boi suddenly pops on screen and pops open a bottle of whiskey onto Sir Pent's face. Sir Pent proceeds to swat said Egg Boi aside.]

Oh boy!

Hell will be mine! And everybody will know the name of Sir Pen-

[Sir Pentious is interrupted by a scream coming from offscreen. Sir Pent and two Egg Bois become surprised.]

EDGELORD!

[offended] Pardon?! [looks around angrily and eyes the two Egg Bois behind him] Who said that?! What did you just say to me, you fried chicken fetuses?! [hisses] Speak up!

[petrified] That wasn't us, Mr. Bossman.

[A small bomb with a print of a skull on it breaks through Sir Pent's ship. It then lands right between Sir Pent and the two Egg Bois. The bomb proceeds to blow up, leaving red smoke behind.]

[coughs and hacks]

[As the smoke clears up, the owner of the scream is revealed to be Cherri Bomb as she prepares another bomb in hand.]

You lookin' for a fight, old man?! [begins to juggle around her cherry bomb] Why don't you get that tinker toy bullshit off my turf before I [proceeds to throw and catch the bomb] smash it?!

[A large pipe falls on top of an already dead Egg Boi, crushing him as Sir Pent and Cherri momentarily look at the carnage.]

[grins sadistically] ....More!

Oh! [hood flares open] You wanna go, missy?! Well, I'm happy to oblige! Ahahah!

[Sir Pentious is then backed up by his henchmen of Egg Bois.]

[At the news station. The logo for 666 News is shown on a black background, which is followed by the day's newscast.]

Good afternoon, I'm Katie Killjoy.

And I'm Tom Trench! Chaos out at Pentagram City today as a turf war is raging on the west side!

[An image of Sir Pentious trying to be hip, followed by a drawing of Cherri flipping the bird is shown.]

Between notable kingpin, Sir Pentious, and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse, Cherri Bomb!

That's right, Tom! After the recent extermination, many areas are now up for grabs! Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory!

[A live clip of Cherri and Sir Pentious's clash is shown.]

Those two seem to be really going at it, huh?

Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail [as she fishes out a tooth and a nail respectively from her mug of coffee] for that hot spot! [proceeds to swallow said tooth and nail]

[looking over at the live broadcast focusing on Cherri] And I'd sure like to nail her hot spot! [wiggles eyebrows] Hoohoo!

Haha, you are a limpdick jackass Tom! Or should I say - [pours scalding hot coffee onto his crotch] no dick?

[curls over in pain] Ugh...not again!

[Screen shows a picture of Charlie as Tom can still be heard whimpering in pain in the background.]

Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of Hell's own head honcho who's here to discuss her brand new passion project! All that and more, after the break! [crushes her mug in her hand and turns to Trench who's still in pain] Suck it up, you little bi-!

[The news cast cuts off and goes on a commercial break.]

[Charlie stands near the stage, Vaggie fixes her tie.]

[exhales] Okay! You remember what to say?

[inhales] Yes! Let's do this!

[in a serious tone] Just, look at me and I'll mouth it to you.

Come on, Vaggie! [bends backward] I know what to say! I just feel like we need to...I don't know, [grabs and throws a doughnut away] make things sound more exciting! [Gasp] Hooo! What if I si-

[cutting Charlie off] -Sing a song about it?

You knew I was gonna say that! [boops Vaggie on the nose]

[Charlie stands on the table with Razzle and Dazzle happily munching on doughnuts, watching her.]

Because I know you [fixes her bow again]. But please don't sing! [shakes Charlie] This is serious!

Well, you know, I'm better at expressing myself and my goals through song!

Yes! That's the happy ending, see?! [begins to fantasize] Everyone smiling and happy in Heaven!

[pinches the bridge of her nose] I don't think it's that simple. Just please follow the talking points we went over. And [grabs Charlie to face her] do not sing!

Okay, fiiiine. [in a british accent] I'll just have to resort to my impeccable improv skills! [salutes Vaggie as she walks over to Katie Killjoy]

[normal voice, nervously] Hiii! I'm Charlie. [tries to go for a handshake]

Katie Killjoy. [blows out the smoke of her cigarette] I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you, but that would be a lie. [throws away her cigarette] And you can put that away. [gestures to Charlie's hand] I don't touch the gays. I have standards!

Yeah? How's uh... how's that working out for ya? [turns to look around nervously]

Look, my time is money, so I'll keep this short. [proceeds to poke Charlie] You're not here because we wanted you here. You're here because Jeffrey couldn't make it for his cannibal cooking segment.

[A billboard of Jeffrey's cannibalism cooking show titled "It's Dahm Good!" can be seen in the background.]

You might be some royal big shot [fluffs her hair], but that doesn't mean shit to me. I'm too rich and too influential to give a flying fuck about what some tux-wearing demon [does air quotes with her fingers] "princess" wants to advertise.

[Tom can be seen shaking his head in disapproval as Katie boasts about her wealth and influence to Charlie.]

But I-

[continues to poke her chest] So don't get cute with me, honey, or I will fucking bury you!

And we're live!

[Killjoy rushes back to her desk, holding papers while cracking her neck.]

Welcome back! So, Charlotte!

It's... Charlie. [smiles nervously as a spotlight flashes her way]

Whatever. Tell us about this new passion project you've been insistently pestering our news station about! [tries to hold in her outburst by clenching her pen]

[looks around as Vaggie motions her to go on] Well, [clears throat and exhales] as most of you know, I was born here in Hell and growing up, I always tried to see the good in everyone around me.

[Killjoy spots a slug and stabs it with her pen, the slug's blood bursts all over.]

Hell is my home and- [gets slug blood splattered across her cheek which she then wipes off] you are my people. We... we just went through another extermination.

[Vaggie is seen giving Charlie two thumbs up as Killjoy quickly starts to lose interest.]

We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year. No one is even given [slams fist on table, waking Killjoy up] a chance! [walks up from Killjoy's desk] I can't stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such violence! So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? [she walks around the audience] Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption? [throws her arm around one of the News Cast's staff members] Well, I think yes! So that's what this project aims to achieve! [returns to Killjoy's desk] Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!

[Her broadcast is being shown at The Radio Shack, which many other demons are also watching by the streets and everywhere else in Hell.]

[starts to lose her confidence] Y'know? 'Cause hotels are for people passin' through... temporarily...

Ahahaha! IS this girl for real?! She thinks- [tries to hold in his laughter] You hear what she thinks?! She thi- HAHA! Ah, she's nuts. [walks out of The Kaiju Klub with his friends]

I think it'll serve a purpose... a place to work toward redemption... yay...!

[The scene cuts back to the demons watching her broadcast from The Radio Shack. A mysterious figure walks up to see her broadcast alongside a bunch of other demons watching such as Crymini and a handful of others.]

[snickers] Stupid bitch.

[Vaggie punches the cameraman square in the face.]

[looks around, saddened] Look, every single one of you has something good, deep down inside. I know you do! ...Maybe I'm not getting through to you.

[Razzle and Dazzle are then alerted that Charlie's about to sing and that she may need their back-up vocals.]

[facepalms] Oh no...

[Charlie snaps her fingers as the room turns dark and a spotlight is shown over a piano that Charlie, Razzle and Dazzle start performing on. Meanwhile, back at The Radio Shack, Alastor and his shadow can be seen tilting their heads curiously as their smiles widen.]

♫ I have a dream, I'm here to tell! / [walks away from the piano as two news staff look at each other] About a wonderful fantastic new [takes out a drawing of The Happy Hotel] hotel! ♫

♫ Yes, it's one-of-a-kind! Right here in Hell, catering to a specific clientele [boops Dazzle's nose]. ♫

♫ Oooh ooh ooh~ ♫

[Killjoy is in shock as Trench looks around, confused.]

♫ Inside of every demon is a rainbow [throws her arm around the necks of two bird demons]! Inside every sinner is a shiny smile [passes through a hellhound's tail]! Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac [dodges all the hatchets being aimed at her] is a jolly, happy cupcake-loving child [hands the masked demon a sparkling cupcake and pats his head]! ♫

♫ We can turn them 'round! [turns to Killjoy and Trench] They'll be Heaven-bound! With just a little time, down at The Happy Hotel! [camera pans to the audience where Vaggie stands with a worried expression] ♫

♫ So all you junkies [takes out syringe from a doll demon's head], freaks [takes a pic with a Siamese twin demon in its cage], and weirdos [fends off a several-eyed blob demon]. Creepers [stares at a snail demon out the window], fuck-ups [boops a couch demon on the nose], crooks and zeroes [returns the stolen money to charity], and down-fallen superheroes [throws her hands behind the necks of two supervillain demons], help is here! ♫

♫ All of you cretins [dips her hair into the water by the pier], sluts [holds out a pair of panties in disgust], and losers [calls her rival a loser], sexual deviants [backs away from the sex offenders], and boozers [turns to face a depressed demon], and prescription drug abusers [throws away the drugs a blue demon is taking into a burning trash can], need not fear!

♫ Forever again [A demon lands on a wheelchair and is pushed by Razzle towards Charlie and Dazzle], we'll cure your sin [shows the demon her chart]! We'll make you well [Dazzle injects a happiness syrum into the patient], you'll feel so swell! Right here in Hell [turns to her full demonic form], at the Happy Hotel! ♫

[Razzle continues to aggressively play the piano.]

♫ [slides over to Killjoy's right] There'll be no more fire, [slides over to Trench's left] and no more screams. Just puppy dog kisses [holds a dog close to her face], and cotton candy dreams [holds out a cotton candy], and puffy-wuffy clouds [cuddles both the dog and cotton candy], you're gonna be like "Wow!" [camera pans out showing the clouds forming the word "Wow!"] Once you check in with me [shows a check-in chart]! ♫

[Vaggie is seen with both her hands covering her face.]

♫ So all your cartoon porn addictions [confiscates a neckbeard demon's cartoon porn magazine], vegan rants [confiscates a vegan demon's Hellphone and takes a selfie with it], psychic predictions [confiscates the spell books and crystal ball of a psychic demon], ancient Roman crucifixions [avoids running into a crucified demon and knocks over two other crucified demons*, end right here *throws away all the confiscated items off a cliff]! ♫

♫ All you monsters [clenches the hands of two monstruous demons], thieves and crazies [points finger guns over a dog demon trying to steal baguettes from an insect demon whose hood flares open], cannibals [tempts the cannibals with a severed arm on a plate], and crying babies [looks at a possum mother and her rabid babies, annoyed], frothing mouths that's full of rabies filled with cheer [pulls a hellhound with rabies close to her]! ♫

♫ You'll be complete [completes a puzzle demon as the camera pans out]! It'll be so neat [a wrecking ball demon destroys the puzzle demon as Charlie gives two thumbs up]! Our service can't be beat [in her doorman uniform]! You'll be on easy street, yes [hugs three demons which include Mimzy]! Life will be sweet [turns to her demonic form] at The Happy Hotel [twirls happily in flames as she jumps up, revealing a land made of candies and sweets behind her]! Yeah! ♫

[Charlie ends the song, rather exhausted as everyone in the news station looks at her with disgust and disbelief.]

Wow! [turns to his demonic form] ...That was shit!

[Everyone in the audience including Killjoy and Trench begin to laugh at Charlie. Charlie looks crushed and devastated and slumps back down to her seat. There was a boo section in the news and the demons look uninterested]

[deadpan] Boo.

What in the Nine Circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person?! You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to be good?! Just... because?! [continues to laugh]

Well, we have a patron already, who believes in our cause and he's shown incredible progress!

[feigns shock] Oh? And who might that be?

[tries to look smug and confident] Oh, just someone named... Angel Dust!

The porn star?

[turns to him menacingly] You fucking would, Tom! [turns back to Charlie] In any case, that's not even an accomplishment. I'm sure you could get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube [motions doing a handjob].