《Helluva Harem》Spring Broken Pt.1

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It's been 6 months after that fateful night, the memory still fresh in your head. You dream of a dinner date with Octavia, Loona, and Millie. They're laughter and smiles bring you joy, and they whisper sweet nothing's into your ear.

Y/n: I don't know what I had to do to deserve.

Loona: You just had to be yourself, it's the reason why we lo---, BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Y/n: Wh-what?

Millie: What she trying to say is, BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Y/n: What the fuck is wrong with you guys?

Octavia: Nothing it's just that BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

The 3 girls kept buzzing around you, the noice irritating your eardrums. As it went on and on you couldn't handle it, finally shooting up awake, hearing your apartment buzz. You laid back down contemplating if you should even move. You then heard a knock on your door followed by more buzzing,

Blitzo: Y/n I know you're in there. Get out here.

It's Blitzo. Sometimes he just likes showing up to your apartment and taking the company van to work with everyone inside and today is one of those days.

Blitzo: I know you're in there you asshole, get out here or else I'm kicking your door down

You didn't even bother putting on a shirt, just some joggers and made your way to the door, you flung the door open and stared into Blitzo eyes annoyed.

Blitzo: WHOA Y/N TAKE ME TO DINNER FIRST!

Y/n: You wish, now that I'm up can you stop buzzing my damn doorbell. I having a decent dream for once.

Blitzo: Oh come on Y/n don't be like that. Just 'cause you were dreaming about me butt-fucking you doesn't mean you have to get angry at me ruining it.

Y/n:[You roll your eyes.] God you're despicable.

Blitzo:[He smiles with a wide shit eating grin.] It's my most attractive feature.

Y/n: Whatever, I'll be at the van in 5.

Blitzo: You better, or else I'm taking a cut of your paycheck.

Y/n:[You raise your hands and in a sarcastic voice] Oh no.

Blitzo: That's what I thought.

Blitzo leaves you to your business and heads down to the company van. You went back into your apartment changed, and grabbed everything you need. Your Keys, Phone, and Wallet in your pocket. You finally left your apartment and made your way to the van. Blitzo sitting in the driver seat with a stopwatch.

Blitzo: You're 2 minutes late, that's 400 bucks off your paycheck

Y/n: Just give it to Moxxie.

You made your way to the side of the van and opened the door.

Y/n: Morning guys, I'm assuming y'all had to wake up to the same bullshit I went through.

Loona: Hey.

Millie: Morning Y/n!

Moxxie: Yeah we did, and I still don't understand why you do this sir, me and Millie only live 10 minutes away.

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Blitzo: Oh shove a dick in it Mox. This is team bonding. We are family and family like to have road trips.

Y/n: This is one fucked up family.

Everyone laughs except Blitzo. You made your to the very back of the van and laid down. Blitzo stops on the gas and makes his way to I.M.P. Knowing Blitzo likes to take the longest routes to work, you decide to take a quick nap. After sometime you felt the van stop violently and see Blitzo step out the van.

Y/n: The hell is going on?

Loona: Don't know, don't care.

Millie: I think someone took the company parking spot.

Y/n: Well open the door, I wanna get out of before Blitz makes us stay in here for another 30 minutes.

Millie opens the van door letting you out, you stretched for a second until seeing the chaos between Blitzo and stranger.

????????: I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies the building.

Loona:[Watching from the van] No way...

Y/n: Who's that?

Loona: Verosika Mayday, a pop star. What the hell is she doing here?

Y/n: I don't know but her and Blitz have some beef.

You watched Blitzo lose his shit, all this yelling over a parking spot.

Verosika: They wanted to have me come in this week to lead their team during spring break.

Blitzo: A WEEK?! No, no, you are NOT parking here for a fuckin' week!

Verosika: [removes her sunglasses] Awww, you mad, Blitzo? [pronounced as spelled once again] You gonna run off, leaving someone else to pay for the hotel room, steal their car and run...

Blitzo and Verosika: ...run three rings to wrath and max MY credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons?!

Blitzo: Goddamn it whore, you will NOT let that go!

Verosika: Choke on a sandpaper cock.

Verosika flips him the bird and walks away but stops after noticing you.

Verosika: And who are you? Don't tell me your working for this prick. [She leans closer to you] I can offer you a better time...

Blitzo: Back off Skank! Leave Y/n alone, he's very important to this company.

Verosika: How.... Disappointing

Verosika then takes out a pen and grabs your arm Writing something down. It was her phone number, the initials VM right under it.

Verosika: Call me.....

Verosika walks away while Loona fearfully lowers her head in the van. Blitzo follows Verosika.

Blitzo: HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I'm gonna...

A towering muscular man appears behind Blitzo and growls.

Hellhound: You'll what?

Blitzo: [glances around and stutters in fear] Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!

After a second of awkward silence, Verosika, Blitzo and the Hellhound laugh as if in a sitcom.

Verosika: Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well.

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Verosika leaves with her bodyguard. She glances over her shoulder as she flips Blitzo off.

Verosika: Ta-ta, fuck stain.

You stood there confused on the events that just unfolded.

Blitzo: Ugh, I wasted so much time with a bag of holes like that.

Loona: [kicks van door open and steps out] You know Verosika Mayday?!

Blitzo: Huh...? Oh yeah, her, yeah. We dated.

Millie: Was it before or after she became a pop star?

Moxxie: [opens the van door and steps out] You dated a pop star?!

Blitzo: Okay, why are you all acting like that's such a shock?

Loona: Hellooo, it's Verosika Mayday?

Millie: It's you?

Moxxie: I just... [scratches his head] Is she blind?? Suffering some form of brain damage?

Y/n: Maybe she just felt bad for him?

Blitzo: Okay, look, you are all making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be. I don't pry into your stupid personal lives.

Moxxie: You do that all the time, sir!

Millie: Come on, you kinda do that.

Loona: You totally do that.

Y/n: Can't disagree with that.

Millie: [Millie grins mischievously, eyelids lowering.] What was sex with her like?

Moxxie: [taken aback] Millie!

Millie: Whaaaat?! It's a pop star! You'd wanna know what sex with was Michael Crawford like.

Moxxie: [about to yell at Millie but changes his mind] ...Touché.

Blitzo: Okay, look, let's just drop it! Millie, j- find a temporary spot for that truck. [tosses the keys to Millie, who gleefully catches them and runs to driver's side] Okay, Y/n, Loonie, Moxxie, let's go handle this shit.

You, Loona, Moxxie and Blitzo stepped out of an elevator. Loona walks nervously forward.

Loona: Do you think they saw me? Fuck! I did my makeup shitty today!

Y/n: Your makeup looks great Loona, don't worry about it.

Loona: Really?

Blitzo: [Blitzo smiles at her with shining eyes.] Oh, you look perfect, Loonie! Like always~

Loona: [Loona narrows her eyes and scowls.] Shut UP, da—

Blitzo looks at her with adoration on his face. Loona catches herself and shoves Blitzo aside.

Loona: Urgh! Blitzo!

Y/n: That's adorable.

You looked walked past Blitzo checking your phone before accidentally bumping into Vortex.

Y/n Oof! Oh shit sorry...

Vortex: It's cool dude, it was an honest mistake.

Blitzo gasps in shock. He moves between you and Vortex, his arms out.

Blitzo: Hiiii, big man. Where's your bitch bag of an employer?

Vortex motions to a nearby room with neon pink hearts over double doors. "V" and "M" are spray-painted on the door windows across from I.M.P. . office room.

Vortex: She's in her office. There wasn't room on the second floor, so they rented one here on this one. It's cheaper.

Vortex: [scoffs] Sorry, man.

Vortex walks away.

Blitzo: [mutters] Oh, no you don't, bitch.

Moxxie: Sir... how about you let me go in and try to reason with her? I don't really listen to what's classified as "pop genre" music, so her status to me is name recognition alone...

[Blitzo tunes Moxxie out with a glare.]

Moxxie: In my opinion, her music is a bit derivative of-

Blitzo: Moxxie, shut the fuck up!

Moxxie: [running to Verosika's office] Alrighty then.

Moxxie pushes open the doors and goes inside. The silhouettes of Moxxie, Verosika and her gang of demons are seen through the glass window.

Moxxie: Hello, Miss Verosika, was it? I work for I.M.P, and it is actually rather important for us to retain the singular parking space we were assigned, because-

Coco: [points to Moxxie] Aw, look at the little one. He's got a wittle bow tie!

Moxxie: Please don't condescend me, ma'am. I—

Josh: Want a kissy, little guy?

Moxxie: A kind offer, but... I'm not really interested right now.

The gang of demons surround Moxxie.

Verosika: Hey... why don't you send a little message from me back to your limp... dick... boss?

The demon silhouettes bare their fangs over Moxxie to sexually assault him.

Moxxie: [screams] Don't touch thaaaat!

Blitzo races and presses his hands against the window.

Blitzo: Moxxie, don't let her access any of your holes!

Moxxie races back into the hall, panting with his back against the door. He walks past them, battered and shaken with red lipstick kisses all over his face.

Moxxie: [stuttering and shaken] I... I gotta go lie down... now.

Moxxie falls face-first onto the ground.

Y/n: [Poking Moxxie.] Poor guy didn't even stand a chance. [Slumping Moxxie your shoulder.] I'ma take Mox to the break room.

You left Blitzo alone.

Blitzo: Oh, this won't STAND!

Blitzo kicks both doors open, causing Verosika and her gang to notice.

Blitzo: All right...! THAT'S IT!!

Blitzo stomps toward Verosika.

Blitzo: If you're gonna be shitty to my employees, then I challenge you to a fuckin'... challenge! Fuck, I said that twice.

Kiki: Mmmm... Is this Imp boy starting a demon duel?

Verosika: [Chuckles] I think he is!

Verosika: [Verosika leans in toward Blitzo.] What's the game then, Blitzo? [Yet again, pronounced as spelled]

Blitzo: Every year, you STD spreaders go up topside for easy pickin's while spring break is a prime time for crime of all kinds! So I bet... you succu-bitches can't fuck as many people as we can off by the end of the day.

The succubi laugh. Blitzo glares in determination. They stop laughing.

Verosika: Oh, you're serious?

Verosika: [She leans in close to Blitzo's face, speaking in a low whisper.] Game on... bitch.

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