It's cold, really cold. You lay awake and you look at your clock, it reads 2 A.m and yet you hear your neighbors screaming in ecstasy.

Y/n: Damn it can't fuckin sleep with all this damn noise, can they just go one night without swapping spit and mixing seed.

You then hear the love making couple hit your wall knocking down some items you had on display, nothing of real importance besides from a couple of pictures of you and some buddies from highschool.

Y/n:(holding one photo) I wonder what you guys are up to these days.

You then look to your door and notice an envelope, you walked over to your door and grabbed the envelope.

Y/n: Is this the eviction notice I crave so I can finally leave this god forsaken place.

Lucky for you it was, right in your hands the last straw to this shit show, and finally you're ready.

Y/n: Time to get to work *cracking knuckles*

Hours go by setting up your suicide and hyping yourself up to actually do it, you've been thinking about it for awhile but never saw a reason, atleast until now. You never really saw where it all went wrong in your life, you thought you had it all, well besides a girlfriend or friends after you graduated. It seems pathetic to you but it's better than being homeless and hoeless for the rest of your life, and it's not like any family will miss you. Your mom,the best anyone could have but a damn drunk driver took her away from you, your dad was a deadbeat who bailed at birth, and you don't even know if you have uncles, cousins, or even half siblings. That's what makes you want to do this. The fact you made it past highschool and even managed to live alone living by paycheck to paycheck is a miracle but this not a way someone should live. A king lives the good life filled with joy yet you feel like a peasant, yearning to feel what it's like to have a good life, but it's too late now, you finally set up you're suicide.

Y/n: Time to end this.

As you prepare for your hanging you look around your room taking in whatever joy was left. A bass, it's strings thick but worn over the times you played it, some old gaming consoles that give you hints of nostalgia, some posters of movies you loved, and your favorite jacket given to you by mom. It was a grey denim jacket with its own patches you added overtime, typically you never wore it but you'll wear it tonight. You then move to the chair and stood atop of it, and as you put the rope around your neck you put your headphones in and put one of your favorite songs.

As you were about to kick the chair under you, you felt like something angelic was starring at you, you wanted to turn around and see but it was too late the chair slipped under you, letting gravity do its thing the rope around your neck tightens and bam your neck snaps.

It's dark

Still dark

Can you even think?

Of course you can your thinking right now

Y/n:(thinking) So this is what death is like, I honestly excepted worse. Welp time to enjoy the silence

That silence was short lived as you heard 2 people arguing

??????: Sir please this is very unnecessary!

??????: (Laughing) Says you, you and your baby dick, how can you even pleasure your wife with that thing.

??????: I'll have you know sir I'm actually abo-

??????: Yeah yeah whatever tiny, let's go before anyone sees us

Man death sure is annoying and loud, and smelly, why does it smell so bad? Actually why does it smell really bad, like booze,piss, and shit, You then open your eyes harsh red light and signs harass your eyes like a sensory overload

Y/n: WHAT THE FUCK!

You take in the scenery once your eyes adjust, a red sky and corporate buildings all around. You then looked down to see yourself standing in a dumpster, that seems to be the source of the horrid smell. Wanting to leave the smell you climb out the dumpster.

Y/n: What in the hell is going on

You look around trying to see if anyone can help you but the streets are empty today, lucky and unlucky situation, so you decide to walk around, you walk around for what seems to you like an hour, Until you see a pole that has some advertising, you think to yourself about how these advertisements can help figure out where you are.

Y/n: (reading out loud) Help wanted looking for assassins.

The logo spelling out I.M.P on the flyer, it apparently stands for immediate murder professionals, might aswell start from here. You follow the address written in the bottom, but not knowing where you are it takes you 4 hours

Y/n: Damn it I'm tired but hey atleast I made it

You look around to see where you are, the building was right next to the dumpster you woke up in, and all you could really think about was just the hours spent uselessly walking around in shame.

Y/n: Well atleast I'm here that's all that matters.

You walk in the building taking in all what it has to offer just from it's entrance, it looks like any old office building, you get in the elevator and press the button you need to get to floor of I.M.P, as you wait inside the elevator you notice in the doors reflection your skin, it's gray, an ashen gray, this makes things more confusing to where you are. You have no time to think as the elevator door opens.

?????: Fucking hell another one, HEY BOZO'S WE HAVE ANOTHER CUSTOMER!

As you look at who was yelling it was some sort of wolf chick, you're scared shitless, this place your at is fucking weird.

But you can't help feel like you belong here, all the things you've seen so far is right up your alley

Y/n: Actually I'm here for a job application *holding up flyer* I saw this while trying to figure out where I was

?????: Oh, I forgot about those things, I guess i'll hold part of your interview now, let's start with your name

Y/n: Y/n L/n some people called me N/n but that was a long time ago

?????: Age

Y/n: 22

?????: Sin of origin

Y/n: What?

?????: Sin of origin, like what sin ring you're from

You're starting to put the puzzle pieces together, The red sky, the smells, the scenery, the red skin, the wolf girl, this place is hell, you're in hell.

Y/n: Listen Ms.-

?????: Ugh do not call me Ms., It Makes me sound old asshole. It's Loona

Y/n: Look okay Loona I have no clue where I am and just from all the shit I've seen and heard I'm assuming it's hell so please tell me what's going on

Loona looks at you as if you asked her the dumbest question which in retrospect it is.

Loona: Alright let's put it simple so I don't hurt that noggin of yours, Your dead, simple as that, you committed a sin, you died, and now you're here, since you technically have no sin of origin I leave it blank, moving onto the next question, Favorite booze

Y/n: It's either Mead or tequila, But none of that fake tequila shit, it taste like hand sanitizer and aids

Loona: How do you even know what aids taste like

Y/n: I don't know I'm just making shit up so I make it sound bad

Loona: fair enough, Last question A child is holding you at gun point and claims that the gun is loaded, what do you do

Y/n: Easy, I'd curbstomp his brains out, these boots aren't for show

You then point to your boots clearly ment for heavy work

Loona: Ha, nice I think you'll make a good addition to the team you seem tolerable

You think to your self, is that a compliment it's probably a compliment.

Loona: Alright follow me I'll bring you to the boss and he's gonna see if your assassin material

Loona gets up from her chair and walks away, you then follow her but you can't help and stare at her tail, you never really owned pets in your past life and you never pet a random person's dog so deep down you really want to pet her tail. Your lingering eyes don't go unnoticed though and loona catches you staring and punches you in the arm.

Loona: HEY! Take me to dinner first asshole

The punch didn't really hurt but you did feel bad about staring.

Y/n: Sorry! I was just looking at your tail it looks.... Soft

Loona then rolls her eyes, you think to yourself that she thinks your a creepy pervert with a tail fetish.

Loona: Yeah sure whatever you say, listen the boss is in here, if you see him playing with dolls don't mention it he'll probably kill you or something I don't really care

Y/n: alright thank you, and hey sorry about star-

As you look loona was leaving you alone with headphones on, your attempted apology falls on deaf ears.

Loona: (whispering to herself) what is that motherfucker made of titanium?, I gave a full force punch and he didn't even flinch, he has to built under that jacket

She blushes at that thought.

You then walk into the office of the boss, and you caught a glimpse of 2 dolls being quickly put away.

??????: You didn't see anything did you

Y/n: No

Your pretty good at lying but it was hard to lie about that, it was too obvious

??????: Good now sit down, names Blitzo the "o" is silent

Y/n: name's Y/n L/n

Blitzo: Great, now looking at you I'm assuming your not around from here are you

Y/n: Yeah, I just woke up in a dumpster and walked around a bit until I saw one of your flyers and decided I should start somewhere to figure where I was

Blitzo smiles at you

Blitzo: Well you came to the right place, here at IMP we focus on 3 things, Murder, family, and fun

Y/n: Really?

Blitzo: Probably I just made that up right now

Y/n: Oh

Blitzo the pulls out a Board with papers on it and hands them to you.

Blitzo: Here I need you to fill these out, it's to see if you can do some dirty work if you catch my drift *raising eyebrows up and down*

Y/n: *coughing* Sorry what

Blitzo: Nothing just fill out the damn papers

As you were filling out the papers there were alot of personal question, such as penis size, cut or uncut, grower or a shower, and it wasn't just about penises to, it had questions about regular hobbies and other things. You then handed back the papers to Blitzo

Blitzo: Alright let's see here your name is Y/n, your 6'2, your hobbies is art, skating, playing instruments, and being a Dj, you have no family members in hell or in the living world, you have never had a girlfriend? Wait what, you're lying right?

Y/n: No, I've always been alone, after sometime I just never bothered trying

Blitzo: interesting, well let me read the rest out and see if this info is correct

Blitzo then reads out a bunch of personal info including info about your ding dong

Blitzo: Damn your uncut and pack 8 inches of Power, are you sure you didn't have to beat women of with a stick, or atleast date one

Y/n: I assure you sir I never had any sort of sexual or normal contact with a women, just friendly banter back in high school

Blitzo: So you're a kissless virgin who thinks he's not good enough for any girl

Y/n: That was a little harsh but yes that's all true

You feel ashamed that you gave away this info

Blitzo: Well congratulations Y/n Your hired let me show you the rest of the crew

Blitzo got up from his desk and motioned for you to follow. And as you're following him he walks into a section of the office with 2 other demons in there.

Blitzo: This is Moxxie and Millie Hells cutest couple

You gotta admit they were pretty cute together, Millie looks really beautiful, she has something to her that grabs your attention, maybe it's cause they're tiny

Blitzo then points at Loona and does a that voice you do when you talk to a baby or an animal.

Blitzo: And this is my daughter Loony Toony!!

Loona raises the finger at blitzo and yells at him

Loona: I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT!

Blitzo has a goofy smile on his face and nearly brought to tears

Blitzo: isn't she just adorable Y/n

You think hard if she's adorable, she is but there's more to her than just being cute, when you look at her she has this flare, this punk kick, and you can't help think that it's really attractive, looking at Loona makes you blush.

Blitzo: EVERYONE *pointing at you* This is Y/n, he's out newest hire he's a new resident of hell and doesn't know what to do so he came to us, and now we're going to treat him like family

Moxxie: Sir with all do respect how do we know if Y/n is capable of carrying out assassinations

Blitzo: I don't know he has that look to him

Blitzo the walks up to you and slaps you on the back

Y/n: I've never really killed anyone before but I'm assuming it easy since I'm in hell and I essentially get no punishment for it

Blitzo: Thats the spirit Y/n!

Moxxie: Sir this is very unprofessional we have to see if he has actual qualifications

Millie walks over to Moxxie and starts hugging and rubbing his head

Millie: Calm down mox, if Y/n here can't kill someone he'll probably end up dead on a mission it's fine

You look at Blitzo and ask him

Y/n: Sir it is nice that you gave me a job and all but where am I suppose to sleep tonight

Blitzo: You can sleep at Moxxie's place

Moxxie then yells at Blitzo

Moxxie: NO HE CANNOT SIR!

Blitzo: But I sleep at your place all the time time

Moxxie looks like he's about to explode

You can't help but chuckles at this whole ordeal but you took this as an opportunity to explore the building, the building is nothing special it has typical office building stuff, bathrooms, computers, and a break room, you decide to set up shop for the night in the break room since it has a coach, but small issue, loona is napping on it, so you decide to look in the fridge, you were starting to feel hungry.

As you rummaged around the fridge you look at what's inside, a container with a sticky note saying "Moxxie's DO NOT EAT LOONA", The container is empty, right next to it was a can of soda and a sandwich you grab those since they had no label, you open the sandwich and took a bite, it's was delicious to your surprise, you then opened the soda can and take a swig, it taste exactly like cola and you decide to chug the rest, crushing the can on your head, mid way through the sandwich loona woke up and smelled the air and looked at you

Loona: Y/n are you eating my fucking sandwich

With a mouthful of condiments, meat, and bread

Y/n: *muffled* No...

Loona saw the crushed can of cola next you

Loona: AND YOU DRANK MY SODA IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS

Loona then lunges at you catching you by surprise and knocking you down and put her self in a cowgirl position

Loona: ILL RIP OPEN YOUR STOMACH AND EAT THE SANDWICH FROM THERE GIVE IT BACK!

You block her incoming blows but the momentum of her attacks makes her pelvis have a bucking motion and clearly it's getting you worked up

Y/n: Loona calm down please I didn't know it was yours

Loona: LIKE I CARE GIVE IT BACK

She still laying punches but you can't help notice what your hearing, Loona's quiet and soft moans being hidden by "anger" you can even hear some yipping, she knows what she's doing she's trying to hide it but she knows

Using this info to your advantage you wait for loona to slow down from the light ecstacy and grab her and pin her to the wall.

Y/n: Look loona I'm sorry about your sandwich I'll get you a new one

Loona couldn't help but moan when you pinned her to the wall but when she heard that she couldn't help but blush

Loona: *gasping between breaths* Fine yo-you magnificent bastard

You put down Loona and can't help but feel like shes trying to get closer you

Y/n: Alright let's go get one, where the the closest sandwich join

Loona: There's one down the street but it's not good, taste like microplastics and syphilis

Y/n: How do you know what syphilis taste like

Loona: Don't worry about it

Y/n: Where the closest edible sandwich join

Loona: 40 minutes walk from here

You think how are you even gonna afford this sandwich, does hell even take human money or does your money just transform to usable currency, you checked your pockets to see if you still had your wallet and lucky for you its in there, you check it and it has some sort of hellish currency.

Y/n: Fine let's get going, I'm still hungry anyways that sandwich was light

Loona: The fuck you mean light that sandwich was huge

Y/n: Big eater I guess

Loona whispers to her self

Loona: You can eat me

But you were already walking towards the elevator so you didn't even hear a thing, Loona then reaches the elevator and pushes the ground floor button. On the way down you can't help but think.

Today was a good day, Smiling as you exit the elevator