i slowly developed a habit. a not-so-good one. most days i'd zone out during class. stare outside the window. write stories in my head. and everything else seemed to just stop as i continued to stare. then class ended. at lunch i sat with the girls. ate pizza and an ice-cream bar. went to the bathroom. there, i puked. went to the next class. sometimes i'd skip a few. and on my way home, i often walked. stopped at a store. got chocolate. cookies. chips. soda and more candy. i ate in one of the bathroom stalls of an empty building not so far from the park then barfed.

~*~

happiness became a feeling

i slowly felt foreign to.