(Drafts that Ana wrote to Christian when she was in Santa Fe with Mila but never sent them.)

Dear Christian,

I'm pregnant. This is not a hoax, I really am pregnant. I know we didn't plan this, but we can definitely go through this. I didn't mean to run away like a coward, being here in the south makes me realise what a stupid mistake I did. We're miles apart, yet my heart yearns for you. I know you must be angry, confused even but I will come back, I promise.

Yours, Ana.

Dear Mr. Grey,

I am 15 weeks pregnant as of today. I just found out that we're having a girl! I told the guy (yeah it was a guy, the female nurse was on a leave or something) who was doing the ultrasound to write the gender down on a paper because this neighbor of mine wanted to throw me a gender reveal. She made me cupcakes and when I bite into it and saw the pink icing, I couldn't stop crying. Partly because I wanted a girl and it came true, partly because you aren't here to share this joy with me. I am very lonely here baby and I want to go through this journey of having our first child together with you. You're having a daughter, Christian! Get ready to take care of another girl in your life haha.

Yours, Ana.

Christian,

Don't freak out.. but i'm probably in labor right now. I know its only 34 weeks.. maybe it can be a false alarm. Maybe it's just Braxton Hicks. I don't know and I don't know what the fuck to do. I'm very scared and confused. I'll give you an update soon.

Ana.

Dear Christian,

Our baby is healthy and has already started giving me sleepless nights! And she's only a week old! It was a very intense labor journey.. so many hours of constant pain and yet she wouldn't come out! I had to finally go through cesarian and kid you not its no joke. I cried when I first saw her. I couldn't stop the tears because I wanted you to be there, wanted you to see our daughter come into this world. I also have a name in mind for her.. how does Mila Lively sound?

Love, Ana.

Christian,

It's been a while since I wrote here but to be honest your daughter is as stubborn as you. No proper pattern of sleeping and for some reason she throws up whenever I give her formula. Also, guess who just spoke her first word?! It was the cutest thing ever! And what was her first word? Dada. I think I cried a bit on that. Funny how her first word was someone she has never met. Oh yeah, also, her name is Mila Lively Steele. I didn't want to complicate things here so I figured let her last name be Steele for the time being.

Yours, Ana.

Mr. Grey,

I can't take this anymore. I am crying as I type this. I am such a reckless person. I separated a father and his now five month old daughter. You don't deserve this, Mila doesn't deserve this. I have to make it right. I am coming home, Christian, I am coming soon like I promised. It is time for me to make things right, it is time for you to meet your daughter. We're coming home, baby.

Love, Ana x.

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