《Fifty Shades Alternative | ✔》Chapter 29: Love
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Dear Christian,
I'll start off by saying I'm extremely sorry. By now I'm sure you're extremely confused and wanting to know what exactly is going on. It is true. I've left Seattle. Please… don't search for me, if you love me and trust me do, you won't. I will come back, I promise. And... I love you. So very much. One day you will understand.
Your Ana x
What is going on? First, I get a call from Sawyer informing me that Ana has 'fooled' him and left. He also informs me that she wrote me a letter. I scan the letter over and over again, trying to find a clue. Trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Is someone threatening her? Is this a joke?
I pace back and forth in my study, the letter tightly clutched in my fist. She said that I shouldn't look for her if I love her and trust her, but how can I not? It should be the opposite, if you love someone, then you do everything in your power to look out for them and take care of them.
I read the letter once more. There should be something, anything to indicate to what exactly is going on. She says she loves me, so that rules out the possibility of her cheating. She is sorry for what she is doing, so at least I have the assurance that she knows what she is doing. And she left Seattle that means she isn't in the city. Maybe out of the country? Unlikely, she doesn't even have a passport.
She wants me to stay away. It seems clear that this is a calculated move for her. With that thought in mind and with a heavy heart, I leave my office and come face to face with my staff, who are anxiously waiting for instruction on what to do next.
"Don't look for her", I say firmly.
"But… sir...", Sawyer stutters.
"I said no, and that's final", I say and turn to leave.
I gave you one chance, Ana... please, for once, do as you say you are going to. Please come back soon.
"Christian?"
I wake up with a jolt and blink rapidly as I focus on my surroundings.
"What are you doing here? Do you need something?", Ana whispers as I look at her quizzically.
But then I remember. I blink my eyes as they take in my surroundings. I'm at the hospital, Ana's room. She was asleep after the nurses came to run some tests and I came to check on her. I don't remember dozing off.
"Um...", I start to say as I clear my throat, trying to get the sleep out of my voice. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm not going to lie, I'm anxious", she whispers and I hear the fear in her voice.
I get up from the chair I was sleeping in and cup her face in my hand. "Try to not be. I'll be right outside you know that, right?"
"Yeah", she says as she bites her lip. I trace my thumb over her lower lip, freeing it.
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"Also, Mia and Ethan told me that they can babysit Mila for the time being... if that's okay with you?" to which she nods. "Hey, everything will be fine, okay?", I say and hug her.
Today is Ana's first surgery and I'm not going to lie, I think I'm more scared than Ana. I can't loose her again. Also, what are the odds that I dream about when she left me the same day her first surgery is scheduled?
"I brought some food!", Carla chimes when she enters the room. I take a step back to give her room.
Carla has been the distraction from reality that we all have so desperately needed.
"I can't have food...", Ana says with sadness in her voice.
"Who said it was for you? I was talking about Christian and me", she grins as she hands me my lunch.
"That is so unfair! You cannot eat here in front of me, that's rude!", Ana gasps and pouts like a child.
"We aren't, we are going down to the cafeteria. Christian, honey, you're coming?", Carla asks.
"Yeah", I say and leave the room with my mother in law, not before seeing Ana who had a grimace on her face. I chuckled at her childishness.
"Christian. Can you go down to Ethan's house? Apparently, Mila refuses to eat anything since last night when you left her there. First, they thought she was not hungry but then she said this morning she won't eat anything until she knows where her mommy is", Carla says worriedly.
"What?"
"I didn't want to worry Ana. Can you please go? I'll stay here with her and make sure she has everything she needs."
"Yeah, Of course."
I leave the hospital and drive myself to Mia's place. Not eating food, how very apt. At the end of the day, Mila is our daughter. No wonder she's so stubborn.
"I am not!", Mila yells as I approach the door. I ring the bell and after a moment, Mia opens it. She looks like a mess to say the least. Her hair is up on a bun and is wearing a wrinkled shirt and light blue shorts with a long apron. There is flour smeared all over here face and hands.
"Who is it?" comes Ethan's voice at the same time Mia jumps at me and hugs me. "Thank you so much for coming. I am going crazy here please tell Mila to eat something!"
I nod and enter the apartment and I spot Mila instantly. She is sitting in the corner with her fingers in her ears and screaming random syllables so as not to here what Ethan was saying.
"What is going on here?", I say firmly, my question directed towards Mila. She instantly runs towards me and hugs my legs. "Where is mommy?", she asks.
"Aunt Mia says you haven't been eating since yesterday. Why is that?", I ask, avoiding her question.
"Because I want to know where mommy is!", she exclaims.
"Mommy is at work."
"No, she isn't!"
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Ana and I decided we won't tell Mila about our current situation. We don't want her to be affected in any way. "What do you mean?"
"I saw mommy crying the other night. Something has happened to her and she wouldn't tell me!" She is too smart.
"I don't why was she crying... but she told me she wants you to eat something. Will you do that for her?"
"No!"
"Mila, do as you're told!", I shout and I instantly realized my mistake. But before I could apologize, she starts crying.
"No Mila", Ethan is by her side in an instant as I start to apologize. "I'm so sorry munchkin' I didn't mean to!", I try but to no avail.
"Let's go outside? I'll buy you a popsicle", Ethan says and she nods. She doesn't give me a second glance and leaves with him.
As soon as they are out of sight, Mia runs towards me and hugs me tightly. " If I can't take care of a five-year-old, how will I take care of my own child?", She says in my chest.
"Hey! It's okay. Mila is a bit worried about Ana that's all", I calm her down as I pat her back.
"No. It was my responsibility to take care of her. I should've done it properly. This makes me rethink of whether we should even have kids"
"There is still time, Mia."
"No, there isn't."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm pregnant", she whispers and I pull back to look at her face. My little sister is... pregnant? "I just found out yesterday and I haven't even told Ethan about it. When you told me to care of Mila, I thought this is a good moment to test my parenting skills. It's safe to say they absolutely suck", she gushes and I put my finger on her mouth to stop her from blabbering.
"Mia, congratulations!", I hug her more warmly this time. I'm so happy for her I can't even start to describe. She deserves it, even after today, I know she will be a great mother. "You need to tell Ethan soon though."
"I have a plan", she smiles.
I told Mia what were Mila's favorite dishes so she would prepare those and probably Mila would eat something then. After leaving their house, I drove straight back to the hospital. For some reason, being away from her is making me more anxious by each passing second. When I reach the hospital, I'm told that Ana will be going into the OR in 20 minutes. I go straight to her room to find Dr. Gerald talking to her.
"Hey", I say as I stand besides Ana's bed.
"Mr. Grey, I was just leaving. The nurses will come in, in 15 minutes", Dr. Gerald smiles warmly and leaves.
We are alone in the room, since Carla has gone down to Ray's place. Ray isn't well either and Carla has gone down to take care of him.
"The moment's here", she whispers.
"Afraid?"
"Very."
"Don't be", I say and kiss her forehead. "I brought you something", I say and she looks at me eagerly. "Here", I say as I remove two neatly folded papers out.
Her eyes widen as she reads the first paper. "It's the letter you wrote me six years back. You promised me you'd come back... but you fulfilled that promise really late", to which she looks at me sheepishly. She takes the second letter and starts to read it.
"It's a letter that I wrote for you." I say and add "And I abide by it."
When she completed the letter, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked, "Really? After everything?"
"Yes", I say and lean down to her level, our faces close. "I'll be here waiting for you."
"Christian...", she starts to say but I cut her off as I put my lips on hers. Her hands instantly clutch my hair tightly as we explore the passion that has been locked away for years. This is what I needed. This is what she needed. Whatever she says, I know she is scared for this, and I want her to be happy.
She traces her tongue at my lower lip, asking for permission which I grant her. Our tongues explore each other as my hands are firmly placed on either side of her face. We pull back together as we grasp for air. Our gaze holding each other, like we both are the center of the universe. A smile forms on her lips as she whispers, "I love you too."
After the nurses take her away, I re-read what I wrote in the second letter this morning.
Dear Ana,
I don't know how you wrote this letter so many years ago, I don't even know what to say. I'll start by saying, you are the best mother our daughter could ask for. The past years were very difficult for me, especially when you promised that you will be back soon, but you didn't come. And at that time, those emotions morphed into anger. It took me a very long time to realize that I looked for you in those girls, but none of them could match you. And when you came back, everything changed. That anger left me day by day as I saw the amazing person you've turned into. I mean, you made me dance in rain for heaven's sakes. And each day, I fall more in love with you. I only realized that now. And now I have never been more positive of anything. I love you, Anastasia Grey. I always have.
-Christian
~*~*~*~
This book is officially at par with the one of Fanfiction.net ! Sadly, I haven't written anything after this.. and I wrote this chapter in May. So I don't know when will I upload a chapter after this one.. mostly before my birthday that is at the end of this month btw ;)
Also, this book will soon come to an end. I cannot give you an exact chapter number right now.. but yeah it will soon. Hope y'all hang around for I don't know for how long :(
Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤
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