I've carried Ava a lot of times. When she was born to now that she is 4, we had that kind of bonding that probably no uncle - niece have. But right now, with Mila in my arms, everything feels different. Maybe its my consciousness that probably nagging me saying its my daughter in my arms.

My Daughter.

The thought is still foreign to me, but welcoming in a weird way. Its a feeling that I cannot put in words. But whatever the emotion is, it has mainly to do with happiness with a mixture of surprise.

Everything about Mila surprises me. I am amateur at this but not clueless. Mila is a puzzle, a very complex one indeed. Kids her age fantasize about unicorns and Barbie world. Her? She talks about gender equality. I think back to the balloon incident in the park and it warms me up. She is my daughter and i'm already proud of her.

"This is ah-mazing!" she gasps as she takes in the view of Seattle morning. The sun shines brightly today and its light reflecting on the glass buildings below us, making it seem like someone has decorated the city with diamonds.

I beam at her and she masks my expression. There is no hiding that she likes me already and we haven't even spend quality time together. What is the thing about children loving their parents?

A memory from the past flashes before my eyes. When Grace found me in that whore-house and took me to the hospital.. I didn't even knew she would be my mother then. But I loved her since the moment she found me.

"Wanna check rest of the house?", I ask and she nods her head enthusiastically.

When we get inside, I look around for Anastasia. Where is she?

I show Mila the kitchen and then my room. She gapes when she sees the enormous bed.

"Wow we can all fit here!", she grins.

"Yes we can", I smile back. I put her down and she removes her shoes before getting on the bed.

"You can sleep here, mommy will sleep here and I in middle", she smiles and my brows furrow. Huh?

"You aren't sleeping here. Infact even Anastasia isn't sleeping here", I say and I see her grin falters. Did I say something wrong? "What?", I voice out my concern.

"We are not staying here?", she says.

"No.." and I see tears in her eyes.

Oh My.

Holy Jesus.

Please don't tell me I made my daughter cry!

"Hey!" I stride towards her and pick her up. "Why are you crying, munchkin'?"

"You said we were staying here", tears flow freely now and it feels like someone is stabbing daggers in me.

"You are! Just not in this room"

Seriously though, why would she think that we would all sleep together?

"Then where?", she sniffs.

"Your own room!" but she still looks at me blankly. "C'mon i'll take you" and we exit my room.

I set her room up at the end of the hallway and just adjacent hers is Anastasia's. The bitter part of my mind wanted to set her up in the 'sub room' as she used call it but I don't want to be that harsh to her, not with Mila around at least.

Midway, lets guess who decides to join us?

"Mommy!", Mila calls and immediately struggles in my arms. I put her down, ignoring the small part of me who is sad that Mila abandoned me for her mother.

"Hey little one, loved the house?" Anastasia asks Mila and she nods her head. I look at Anastasia's face and it seems puffed up. I know this look. She has been crying. Oh scratch that, she has been sobbing. Why are these girls crying all of a sudden?

"Care to explain your disappearance?", I direct my question towards her.

She looks at me wide-eyed, a little surprised but masks it immediately.

"I was with Gail", she says smoothly.

"Gail isn't here today", I look at her sharply. Why is she lying?

"She isn't?", she says a bit confused.

"It's her and Taylor's anniversary today. They left the city early this morning."

"Oh", she nods.

"So?"

"So?", she asks.

"Where were you?"

She seems to be contemplating something in her head but she doesn't answer.

"We are here", I announce as we reach Mila's room. "Ready to see your room?", she nods a little, but doesn't say anything.

Seriously? What wrong did I do when I said no to sleep in the same room?

When I open the room, both Anastasia and Mila gasp and I cannot be more happy. They like it, I can see it in their eyes that they do.

I redecorated the room in a way that can be lovable by kids. The walls are painted in sky blue and white - Mila's favorite colour. There is a bed with butterfly lights above it and two wardrobes on either side of it. The wall opposite is full of toys. I didn't exactly know what would Mila like so its safe to say I brought almost all the toys available in the shop.

Mila runs towards the life size teddy bear that is neatly tucked in the corner and looks at it. A smile breaks on her face and I release the breath that I didn't know I was holding. Her satisfaction of loving the room is enough to make me feel accomplished in the father-department.

"Why was she crying?", Anastasia asks.

"How'd you-" I start to say but then decide against it. She has been living with Mila since she was born, of course she knows her inside out. "I said that you guys are sleeping in different rooms and not.. together with me."

She sighs and shakes her head. "Mila and I have always slept in the same room. When she was younger, we didn't exactly have.. a proper house. It was barely even an apartment." She chokes on her words.

I can't help but feel broken. They had to live in worst conditions when they could've had everything. I try to explain to myself that it was Anastasia who ran and not me. But I can't help it. She was my wife.. still is, and Mila my child.

"Then we move to this new apartment a year back. But by then Mila had developed a pattern of sleeping in the same room. And God knows who told her that ghosts exist in real life. Even the mere mention of being alone at night scares her. School sometimes is a bad influence on kids I think."

This explains the reason for Mila's sudden crying. Silly girl.

"I love this room", Mila's voice interrupts us and we look at her. I can't help the big smile that seems plastered on my face.

"Do you want to see her room?", I say and point towards Anastasia.

"No need for that Christian, we'll stay here.", Anastasia says at the same time Mila yells, "No!"

I don't protest either. It's their choice. If they want to stay here, so be it.

The rest of the day rolls on pretty lazily. Anastasia was busy with some paperwork while Mila and me talked for what seems like hours.

I come to know that they stayed in Santa Fe. Mila's favorite past times were studying, which I couldn't help but laugh at. She was the teacher's favorite child and everybody loved her at school. To be honest, I wasn't bored listening to her at all. I was, infact, enjoying every bit of her stories.

While playing the game of Uno, which is also the game she excels at, she dozed off. I carry her back to her room and put her too bed. Anastasia went out with Sawyer to get some stuff and I cannot help but wonder. What exactly is going on between her and Sawyer? I've seen them talk so much today and them going out together.. I cannot help but get suspicious. Is there something going on with them that I don't know?

Instead of leaving Mila alone, considering she is afraid to sleep alone, I sleep besides her. She looks so peaceful, angelic even and as her breathing slows down to a constant, deep pace.

"Mila", I whisper, almost inaudible and start to say stuff that I can never say if she were awake. I don't know what comes over me, but I welcome the uncalled emotion. "It's been a day and I already love you. Honestly? I was a little wary of the fact that I have a daughter but then I met you. You are one of the most amazing person i've met till date. I want to apologize, for not being there for you when you needed me the most. If it were to me, I would unwind the past years only if I can relive the moments with you again. I love you.. and daddy cannot be more proud of you." I say and lean forward to kiss her hair. She stirs a little but doesn't wake up.

I close off the lights and my phone vibrates. It's a call from Taylor and confusion paints me.

Why is he calling?

I get up as quietly as possible, not to disturb Mila's sleep and turn to go out when something catches my eye.

Abandoning the call, I pick up the reports from 'Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital'. It is the same hospital that Sabrina works in. What is this file doing here?

I read the name on the file.

Anastasia Rose Steele.

Confusion spreads over me. Why did Anastasia go to Grey Sloan Memorial?

It has been 2 weeks since she is here, when did she go to a hospital? And why did she go to the hospital?

It suddenly strikes me. I met Mila at the hospital. I never really asked her what was she doing there. But now that I know she was there for Anastasia, I cannot help but be a little afraid.

Shoving the phone in the back pocket, I switch on the night light and read the file carefully.

All the air gets knocked out of my chest and each word seems heavy by the time I reach to the end of the file. It feels difficult to breathe and I come out of the room to brace myself.

Why the fuck would Ana not tell me about this sooner?

A hear Ana's voice in the living room and I almost run to her direction. Why would she keep such a thing from me? Does she think she is so great that she can solve this on her own?

I come in front of her and she halts in her tracks. She sees the file in my hand and I can visibly see all the colour draining from her face.

Well, she should be scared. I can barely keep my anger to myself.

She turns towards Sawyer to say something and he nods in understanding and goes away.

I cannot care less. My blood is boiling right now. Christ, can this woman be anymore annoying?!

"I can explain..", she starts but I cut her off.

"When?! When the fuck were you going to tell me you have ovarian cancer?!"

~*~*~*~

I had a different disease for Ana, but i changed it when I wrote this chapter. The reason is something i'd restrict to myself.

Until we meet again, xoxo, Ava❤