Please don't cry, please don't cry..

I chanted this statement like a mantra in my mind. The taxi ride was so bumpy i was sure it can even surpass the bumps on the rollercoaster at six flags.

As if on the cue, a sharp piercing sound rebounded in the taxi. Mila was crying, and that too, very loudly. Damn you, Seattle roads. The taxi driver shot an annoyed look in the rear view mirror, clearly not wanting his first passengers to ruin his rest of the day. I mean it was 7:30 in the morning..

I rocked Mila helplessly in my arm, cooing incoherent words but to no avail. I hadn't been getting enough sleep those days.. I was tired and I wanted a nap badly.

But then I thought about how I could meet Christian in the next 15 minutes and I, too, could have a beautiful family I always dreamed of. I don't know what would he do with the sudden title of father given to him.. but I was sure that he would be able to live upto it. He is Christian Grey, the same person who changed himself for me.

I rocked Mila, telling her about how we could meet her daddy and could live a happy life here rather than a trashy life there in Santa Fe.

Yeah like she understands that, my inner goddess snickered.

But, believe it or not, it actually worked. Mila stopped crying and then, fully awake, was staring at me. Her eyes are so mesmerizing that I hold her gaze and she stared back at me. Who says eyes cannot help with the communication?

Our moment was disturbed when the taxi suddenly came to halt. I looked outside and there it was.. Escala.

I paid the taxi driver, which costed me a fortune and I mentally noted never to take a taxi even if I am not on a budget. I got outside hurriedly, Mila in one hand and the bags in another. Its not very comfortable, i'd say, but well, it was just a matter of time.

I started walking towards the entrance but was stopped by the security. I notice that they aren't the regular security guards that used to be here.

"Where too, ma'am?", the security guard with the name tag of Joshua, said to me.

"Christian Grey's penthouse", I replied confidently.

"Do you have an appointment?", he asked.

Appointment?

"Not.. really. But he knows me", I say, my voice faltering a bit.

"Ma'am I need to talk to Mr. Grey", Joshua says, without budging.

He went back to the office at the side of entrance and dialed a number. What is this? I don't remember any security questioning when I used to come here. But then there was always someone with me when I came here.

"What's your name, Ma'am?", Joshua interrupts my train of thoughts.

"Ana Steele", I say. Mila was sleeping comfortably in my arms then, oblivious to what was going on there. Suddenly my resolution to meet Christian falters. Why was all of this happening?

"Ma'am, they need to talk to you", Joshua says, handing me the receiver of the telephone.

Hoping to hear Christian's voice again, I abandoned my bags and took the receiver eagerly.

"Hello?", I say. I was bouncing in my mind, that I was finally going to talk to Christian. But the next voice surprised me.

"Anastasia, sweetie.. you should go.", wait. This wasn't Christian. Infact this voice was nowhere related to a male voice. But I know this voice. It was the same voice that ruined my life and still had the power to ruin it. And now her voice through this receiver, indicating her presence at Christian's house, angered me. Infact I was boiling.

"Elena Lincoln", I say, anger clearly evident in my voice.

"I see you remember me, after a year", she taunted me. If this was a cartoon film, you could see smoke coming from my ears.

"I'm not going anywhere. I want to meet Christian."

"Trust me you don't want to.", she said, bored. Bored? I wanted to meet my husband! Who was she to stop me?!

"He is my husband, Elena. Give him the phone."

"Oh don't bring your marriage in between. You are the person who threw your marriage in the gutter and left."

I gasped. I knew I did a very reckless mistake but who was she to say anything to me?

"Listen, Elena, give the damn phone to my husband, I want to talk to him."

"He is busy right now."

"Doing what?!"

"Fucking this girlfriend?", She said and laughed. But I wanted to do anything but laugh. What did she mean by that? Christian has a girlfriend? I remember this was Elena Lincoln talking and try to not take her statement seriously.

"Oh? Tell him its his wife on the call."

"He doesn't want to meet you, Ana. Sweetie, I tried to avoid this conversation but you keep insisting.. so I am telling you this. He doesn't want to meet you.", she stated, sympathetically but I know her mind was anything but sympathetic.

"Oh, trust me, he does want to. At least tell him i'm here!"

I don't want to do this. I really wish my cellphone's battery hadn't died so I could've avoided all of that.

Elena told me to wait and goes away.. or atleast I thought she went to tell Christian. Can I really trust this woman? She came back after 5 to 10 minutes, all the while Joshua shooting furious glances towards me. He wants me out of his office, that's clear. Great, I knew Seattle never liked me, but this much hate? What was I even doing there? Nobody wanted me or my daughter. I was alone, and was going to be for the rest of my life. I had to make my own life, for my daughter and me. And suddenly, everything that would happen next got clear in my head.

Elena would come to the receiver, saying Christian didn't want to see me. I would try and call Christian. Key word being 'try'. He would not pick up my call, even if I got successful in actually calling him.

And that was what exactly happened next.

"Ana, Christian doesn't want to meet you. Infact he is really furious right now. If he sees you, I don't know what will he do. Its in the best interest for both of you that you go and leave -"

But I don't listen to rest of it. I put the receiver down and got out of the office. I picked up my bags and started to walk. I knew this would happen. But I still tried, tried my luck but get what was expected. Why was I here again?

I wanted to give Christian his life, a life that we made. A life that we could've cherished forever, but nobody cared about me now. I wanted to get things straight, but they didn't even let me enter Escala and I didn't know how to reach Christian either.

Sure I could call Kate or Elliott but this would happen again. They would all try to keep me away from Christian. Maybe this is our destiny, maybe fate didn't want us to be together.

And that day, I made a resolution, to never come back here again. Because nobody bloody cares.

I stare at Ana, without blinking, as she tells her story to me. It is hard to believe all of this happened, but she says its all Elena.

Anastasia never liked Elena. Even if she has every reason to hate Elena, she always tried to make peace with the terms that Elena and I are friends.. or business partners. And if she says all of this happened, then she has every right to hate her.

Because Elena fucking Lincoln never told me anything about this.

If Ana ruined my life, Elena also has an equal part in it.. if this is true.

And so without saying a word to Anastasia, I did what every sane person would do. I dial Elena's number on my phone.

I come forward and sit besides Ana on the couch. I put the call on speaker and bring it closer to us.

"Hello Christian", Elena's voice brings us to attention. Her voice is that of admiration, though I don't know for what does she admires me.

"Elena, I have question for you."

"Anything, honey."

"Did Anastasia come to Seattle a year after she left?" I say. And as expected, I am met with silence. She is silent for a long time and I can see Ana's face turn to a frown and then anger and just as she was about to say something, Elena's voice cut her off.

"Yes, Christian." And she doesn't explain any further. I can feel the fury that is surging through me and I do everything possible to keep it out of my body right now

"How could you, Elena?", I spat. "You knew how much I loved Anastasia! You were supposed to tell me and not hide from me!"

"Christian, honey listen, I know that this is your anger talking but think about it, would you have accepted Anastasia back then?"

I open my mouth but nothing comes out. Because I don't even know the answer to this myself.

"Elena, you should've told me!", I try to change the topic. But my mind is swirling with that question. Would I have accepted her then?

"I did what was best for you. Don't you remember how broken you were?" she says. I can feel Ana's eyes on my but I don't look at her.

"You took away our second chance, Elena. How do you feel about that?"

"All I did was give you a different life from there. That woman wasn't right anyways Chris-", I don't listen to her. I end the call. The silence that stretched after that was prolong and nagging.

"I did come back", Anastasia whispers and after a long time, I look at her. I look into her blue orbs that are staring back at me. Her eyes are soft, tiredness evident in them. Maybe the ride to Seattle hasn't been best for her after all.

Where have we reached? We used to be together, in love.. she was my better half. All that is left now is an empty, hollow void between us.

And I know, at that very moment, staring into her eyes. I get the answer to the stupid question I was trying to figure out for the past 15 minutes in my head.

I would've accepted her back then. I could've had a family of my own too with the love of my life besides me. But I don't see that happening now. Time has passed, so has the feelings. It is too late.

~*~*~*~

Honestly, while writing this chapter I was singing Justin Bieber's Sorry haha.

Anyways, hope you liked this chapter.

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Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤