It's been a week since we almost kissed. I haven't heard from Mateo at all. There's a part of me that wants to believe he actually wanted to kiss me, but the other part says it was just in the moment.

I'm left with feelings I know he doesn't have for me.

I'm laying in bed thinking about how gullible I am. Mateo would never go for someone like me. Someone who barely has friends, awkward, afraid to try new things, and lastly someone scared of growing up. I haven't told him but I'm pretty sure once If I do he'll just get up and leave.

Looking at the time on my phone I see that it's barely 6:30pm. Tossing my phone next to me I close my eyes hoping sleep will consume over me. It's never too early to sleep.

The house is silent.

Mom and Dad are at a banquet the hospital host every year. Christopher is who knows where. And I'm here in bed listening to the loud silence in the house. Some would say the silence helps clear your mind, but for me it's the opposite. My mind starts getting cluttered with endless "What Ifs, Maybes," and especially things that have happened in the past.

A vibration brings me back to reality and I open my eyes. I turn to see someone calling me, I pick it up and see that it's Alison. Taking a deep breath, I click the green button.

"Hey Vero! What are you up to?" She says in her usual happy tone.

"Mmm nothing much," responding tiredly to her as I sit up.

"You okay? You sound sad,"

"I don't know Ali." I tell her truthfully. "I feel like everything is getting to me today. I'm sure you were able to tell by now that I have feelings for Mateo. We haven't talked since the day we almost kissed and now I'm making myself believe he doesn't feel the same." I play with my blanket as I tell her this. It feels good being able to talk to someone.

"Ah I see. Look, Mateo doesn't seem like the type to just lead you on. The way I see it is that maybe he's nervous to talk to you or maybe he's busy with something. And even if he doesn't like you Vero, not saying he doesn't because my intuition is telling me he totally likes you," I laugh at her comment. "Don't stress about it. Things happen for a reason. So if he doesn't feel the same way you feel. Do not waste your time on him! Did I make myself clear Veronica?" she says in a stern tone. She does have a point. I'm overthinking this, and just like she said I shouldn't waste my time on him if he doesn't feel the same.

"Yes I understand Alison. It feels weird. Having feelings for someone, especially for Mateo. I mean did you ever think you and Alejandro would be a thing?" I question.

"It is weird isn't it," I hear her chuckle over the phone. "And we are not a thing...yet," we start to laugh at what she said.

"Be honest Ali. Are you actually happy? Is he treating you good? He better not be treating you bad because you already kn-"

"VERONICA!" She cuts me off and I quiet down immediately. Alison can be kind of scary when she's mad.

"I have never been happier. He treats me like I always dreamed he would. Also I just want you to know that just because we might get into relationships we aren't going to distance ourselves. I love you with all my heart Vero and I don't know what I would do without my best friend," I hear her smile over and I do the same.

"I don't know what I would do without you either Ali,"

"Alison! Deja el teléfono y ven ayudarme! Ahorita voy Ama!" I laugh while listening to Alison talk to her mom.

"Sorry Vero I have to go. But I'll call you tomorrow and maybe you can come over?" She questions while I hear a door open over the phone.

"Yeah that sounds good. Tell your Mom I said Hi and that I'll see her tomorrow," I say getting up from my bed and walking to my closet.

"I will. Okay bye Vero I got to go before she gets even more mad,"

I snort as I get my clothes and start heading towards the restroom. "Okay byeeeeeee." With that I hang up the phone and undress getting ready to step into the shower. Doing my same shower routine, I try to do it as fast as I can knowing that if I stand there for too long the thoughts will come back. When I'm done, I change into the white long sleeve and black shorts I chose. I pick up my dirty clothes, phone and start walking into my room.

Once I'm down putting the clothes where they need to be I jump onto my bed and start looking through Netflix trying to find something to watch. Why is it always so hard trying to find something? Like literally there are a lot of options and I can't decide on anything.

While still going through Netflix, my phone starts ringing. I pick it up, not bothering to look at who it is. It's most likely Alison she always calls at random times.

"Hello,"

"Hey Veronica," as soon as I hear his phone I stop scrolling through Netflix. Mateo is the one who called. But why would he call? I guess we're about to find out.

"Uh hey. What's up?" I question hoping I don't sound nervous.

"Nothing much I just wanted to ask if I can come over. If that's fine with you obviously," he laughs awkwardly when he's done talking.

What am I supposed to say? I mean I obviously want to say yes but I DON'T KNOW. Oh gosh. Maybe I should say yes. What if he needs someone to talk to and that's why he called me. I clear my throat before I respond.

"Yeah you can come over," responding cheerfully. "How far away are you?"

"About that." He chuckles. "I'm actually outside your house already."

"YOU'RE WHAT!" I exclaim.

"I'm outside already. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner I just kind of left in a hurry."

Well this is a fine way to spend my Saturday.

"Sorry I didn't mean to sound like that. I'll be right down," not bothering to hear his response, I hang up the phone.

I jump up from my bed and rush to find some socks. Finding some black ones, I slip on my black crocs and start making my way downstairs. Once I'm by the living room I make sure it looks clean. Just as I suspected it looks clean, I turn towards the front door and open it.

There Mateo stands wearing grey sweats, a black long sleeve and white Nikes. His dark hair looked messy and fluffy. When he heats the door open he looks down at me and gives me a sheepish smile.

"Come in," I open the door so he can walk in. He looks more worn out than usual. As if he hasn't been sleeping well.

"Sorry for coming unexpectedly. I just needed to be with someone and the first person I thought of was you," he looks down and rubs the back of his neck. He seems nervous too, which he usually isn't. There must be something actually wrong.

"It's fine I wasn't doing anything either way," I smile at him once he looks back up at me.

"Come on let's go to my room," I turn around and start heading towards the stairs. I take a quick glance and see him looking down while walking up the steps behind me.

Once we're at the top of the stairs, I walk to my door which is on the left. Opening the door I stand outside letting Mateo go through first. In all honesty, this doesn't feel weird at all. I thought it would feel awkward since we haven't talked since you know what.

"Go ahead, make yourself at home," I let him know as I go back to what I was previously doing before he called. Making myself comfortable underneath the blanket I scroll through Netflix still trying to find something to watch. Mateo gets next to me and just lays there with his arms resting on his stomach.

Looking away from the TV, I turn to face Mateo and see he's just staring at the ceiling.

"Hey you okay?" I ask calmly not trying to push him to answer me.

"Yeah it's just not one of my best days you know," he sighs and looks at me while shrugging a shoulder.

I look down at my blanket and run my fingers over it. "Yup. I know what that feels like," replying with a sad tone I start to think about the things I was worrying about earlier.

"Why don't we watch La La Land?" He says while I look up at him surprised. He remembers my favorite movie. I send him a wide grin and nod my head. Picking up the control to the TV once again I look for the movie and smile to myself.

This won't be such a bad night after all.