Hello my lovely readers. I just wanted to place a trigger warning for those who are sensitive to anything relating to self harm as this chapter has references to self harm. Please skip this chapter if so and everyone else enjoy the chapter! :)x

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"And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins," the reverend announced. My eyes moved over to Blake who was seated next to me with downturned eyes as he flicked through his phone. He wasn't even listening to what the reverend was saying. He had been in a mood all morning ever since my mother forced him to come to church with us, which we attend every Sunday.

I sighed in disappointment, he could really take some good from being here, but he was so focused on not caring about the world to allow himself to be emerged into it. With my mouth downturned I focused my attention back to the reverend for the rest of the session.

But that was hard as Blake kept fidgeting every few minutes, he would pull at the cuff of his shirt, so it would cover his wrist and then he would yank then back up again with a sigh from the heat. These movements wouldn't normally affect me, but I was only realising now just how hyper aware I am of Blake's movements, I knew it was because I cared about what he did, what he thought. I balled my hands into fists at my side annoyed at myself, there was no way Blake would ever like me back.

Especially after Friday night, where I made sure to wake him up every hour to make sure he was okay from his concussion. Which lead to a very unpleasant night filled with little sleep. But I didn't mind as I had a feeling that seeing all this violence today would make my nightmares especially bad. The only thank you in return I received from him in the morning was a right old unpleasant cold attitude and warning for me to stay away from him again. He hasn't spoke to me since Friday night and it had started to affect me.

But I was brought out of these hurtful thoughts about him when I noticed something on his wrist when he pulled his scruffs up to his elbows. Red cuts. They ran all the way down his wrist in random patterns, some were whiter than others which were red raw.

My blood turned to ice as a cold dread washed through me. That couldn't be what I think it could be could it? Does Blake cut himself?

Due to my shock I had moved my body closer to his wrists to try and get a better look, but I wasn't thinking about how obvious I was being. He yanked his shirt cuff down forcefully which hid his scars, sending a shock through me and I flinched back. I glanced up to him to see his glare burning into me with a deadly intensity.

My stomach flipped, and my heart started pounding faster in my chest but in fear this time. I quickly averted my gaze and with a rigid posture made sure to keep my eyes away from him for the rest of the session. But along with it my annoyance at his previous indifferent attitude toward me diminished and was replaced with worry.

After a very tense last few minutes the session ended and we all congregated towards the back of the church where everyone had a morning tea. As soon as he was released Blake stormed out of the church, the back doors banging shut behind him. He didn't waste any time to get out of here.

My chest was so tight with anxiety I couldn't bear it, I needed to know what those cuts were on Blake's wrists, so I decided to confront him about them. I gave my mother a hug and told her I was going to follow him.

"Be careful Rose," she cautioned as she hugged me back. I tilted my head to the side as I looked at her in confusion, why would I need to be careful when I was just talking to Blake? But she had already walked off before I could ask.

I followed out the same way he left, a cold wind plummeted through my hair as I walked out of the church walls. The sky had turned a misty grey since we started our session, a storm was brewing in the air.

I searched around the building and eventually found him sitting on a wooden fence in the grass field beside the church. The last of the rising sun was visible through a gap in the clouds just beyond the towering dandelions on the unyielding field. Surprisingly Blake's phone was nowhere in sight, he was staring out into the field with a knit between his eyebrows, deep in thought.

My heart panged as I saw his vulnerable stance, I just wanted to make sure he was okay. I approached him hesitantly with mince steps, I wasn't sure how he was going to react to me after what I saw and given he hasn't spoken to me for the last two days, I was apprehensive to approach him. As I reached him I noticed he was glaring down at the floor in front of him.

"Hey," I announced breezily when I reached him. I sat next to him on the wooden fence and tucked my bible into my lap. He turned his head to face me, his expression turning absent, but he did give me a small smile, which I took as encouraging. He appeared to be in a better mood now than he had in weeks, which helped relax my tight muscles.

"Hi," he replied and looked at me with an expectant expression. It seemed I was only allowed to talk to him if it was for a reason.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked curiously, cocking my head as I looked at him.

"Thinking." He shrugged and returned his attention to twirl and pick at a dandelion he had pinched between his fingers. Clearly displaying his lack of interest in my presence. My mouth dried at his disinterest and my hands tightened around my bible. I tried to think of something to say that was witty and had meaning but of course that never happens with me.

"Who would have guessed," I spluttered throwing my hands in the air. "Honestly I thought you were plotting my murder or considering how to take down that poor ant in front of you," I grinned. He just raised his eyebrows at me in return. I pressed my lips together and looked away. He returned his attention to the dandelion.

"So" I ramble, fidgeting on my seat. "Its nice to see you talking to me," I comment with joy filled eyes and a charming grin. He glances at me from the corner of his eyes, his expression still flat.

"You are making me reconsider my decision," he replied, and his lips pulled up at the corners into a small smile and I relaxed. "You better make the most of it." I grinned back.

"Oh, don't you worry I will, I have been waiting two long days to tell you just how badly you need a hair cut," I teased as I touched my hand to the hair that surrounded his eyes. His eyes watched my hand movements warily so when I looked back to him he was already staring into my eyes. My heart jumped from being so close to him and quickly dropped my hand, glancing away after the heated moment.

"Seriously what do you want?" He quizzed abrasively. Back to business then. My expression sobered as I answered.

"How did you find the session?" His eyes flickered to mine and then away again, he didn't answer for a long moment. I started drumming my hands onto my bible in my lap, thinking he was going to ignore me.

"Honestly I thought I would hate it, but it was enlightening," he admitted biting his lip. My eyes sparkled at his admittance, I knew it would help him. He saw my smile and quickly backtracked his words.

"Hey don't get too ahead of yourself, that temple is giving my temple a headache," he gestured to his forehead with raised eyebrows. I looked at him blankly for a moment before I realised he just made a joke. That was when I cracked up laughing, especially when what he said made no sense.

"A temple is where Jewish people worship, we are anglicans." I continued giggling at his dumbfounded expression as he crossed his hands over his chest defensively. But I saw the way his lips curled up at the sides. I didn't know he had this side to him, he was quite funny. He must be in a good mood if he was joking around with me, the person he hated.

He noticed this new revelation in my eyes and his face sobered up as he realised he needed to gain back some of his I don't care about the world persona and changed the subject.

"Why does that mean so much to you?" He gestured toward my bible in my lap, his gaze was focused on me in curiosity. His question made my breathing falter and my features to contort as the familiar pain wracked my chest.

"My father gave it to me," I confessed tightening my grip on it and tilting my head downwards.

"He isn't around, what happened to him?" He asked hesitantly, his tone softening, he must know this was a touchy subject.

"He died of leukaemia two years ago," I explained my eyes filling with tears. Blake's expression softened, and he ran his hands through his dark hair causing his curls to sit around his ears like he was unsure how to react.

"I'm sorry," he comforted compassionately. He reached his hand back to place it onto mine that was resting on the wooden bench. The warmth of his hand instantly spread through my blood and my whole body.

"Thanks," I mumbled breathily and smiled up at him. His reaction helped ease the restrictive feeling that was crushing my lungs. He returned my smile with a warm one of his own. It was the first kind smile I had ever seen him use. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

"Do you have any siblings?" He asked, and I finally flickered my gaze away from his. He took his hand off mine and the warmth disappeared with it.

"Yeah, an older sister, Ellie. But she has been at college the last year." He nodded in acknowledgement. We brimmed into silence then and I focused my gaze to the floor trying to think of something to say when I noticed the ant that he was glaring at earlier walking along Blake's shoe. I jumped off the bench to lean down and grab it off his shoe, but he was quicker when I drew his attention to it there. He went to squash it.

"Hey!" I objected and grabbed his hand before he could hurt it. I picked up with a leaf from the grass of the meadow and gently allowed the ant to walk onto the leaf. I then placed the ant back onto the grass safe. I sat back down onto the bench to finish our conversation and when I looked back to Blake he had his tilted his head to the side as he watched me.

"You are such a kind person. Why does everyone bully you?" He inquired inquisitively. It was such a normal question, but it made my lips quiver and a sweat to break out on my brow. I never talked about what happened one year ago and the reason that all my previous friends turned against me.

"Because of the fire," I whispered evasively, looking away. Just whispering those words caused my breathing to increase and my muscles to tense, shrinking back.

"What fire?" He inquired with his eyebrows pinched together. My chest was starting to seize up making it hard to get any breath into my lungs. I tried to speak but my words choked in my throat and that was when I knew it was my cue to leave. I jumped up from my position and scurried off back towards the church trying to control my breathing. Blake doesn't follow me, and I was grateful.

By the time I had reached the church I was feeling better, I turned around to face Blake again to see that the sun shining through the clouds had dissipated and dark storm clouds had darkened the field.

With a shock I saw that Blake wasn't sitting on the fence anymore and my eyes searched around frantically to find him standing casually near the entrance to the forest on his phone. I began to swivel around to return to my mother when I saw a figure emerge out form the trees of the forest sparking my interest. It was a man with his hood of his jacket pulled over his head, he looked very suspicious. Not someone you would usually see hanging around a church field.

Blake and the man exchanged a few words and then the guy handed something over to Blake which he placed into his jacket pocket. I caught a glimpse of the object they exchanged to see a white plastic bag. Instantly I knew what it was, drugs. This was a drug deal.

As the figure of the man turned around to leave I caught a glimpse of his face as he walked away through the hood of his jacket. My jaw fell open as I recognised him as Cameron, the bartender from the other night, the exact same guy that Blake attacked. What the hell is going on?

I guess Cameron wouldn't have recognised Blake as the man who attacked him that night because his face was hooded. But why would Blake buy drugs off him?

Fire seared through my veins as anger turned my hands into fists and my jaw to clench. Blake was crossing a line once again, how dare he set up a drug deal while at church?

Without thinking about my actions, I stalked angrily up to Blake. He spun around on his heels to return to the church as the drug dealer left and the colour left his cheeks when he saw me tromping up to him. When I reached him, I allowed my anger to control my movements and I pushed him in the chest with both my hands. He stumbled back a few steps.

"What are you doing?" I yelled at him my voice quivering with barely contained fury. Blake recovers quickly and glances up at me in bewilderment. His soft demeanour of earlier had completely disappeared as he was now on the defensive.

"What is wrong with you, you freak!" He spat looking me up and down like I was an intolerable child.

"What are you doing with him?" I barked back, demanding.

"None of your business." He crossed his hands across his chest, he wasn't telling me anything.

"You just made a drug deal," I accused jabbing a finger into his sternum. His expression remained stoic and he looked at me scornfully like I was the one imagining things. My blood boiled, and my next words spilt out in anger.

"I saw you the other night, with him. I saw you threaten him," I accused pointing to the direction Cameron left. Blake's reaction was instantaneous, his carefully veiled expression faltered, and his mouth fell open in shock. He stumbled a step back and his expression turned horrified.

"And now you are making drug deals with him?" I outraged. Blake didn't reply, his features were frozen in consternation and his eyes set on mine in a wild panic.

"You saw?" He finally stuttered.

"Everything," I confirmed.

"It wasn't what it looked like," he tried to explain but I cut him off, I was sick of his dishonesty.

"I am done with this lying and breaking the law. I won't have a druggie and thief living in my house. I'm telling the police," I vowed.

"You can't," he objected fiercely, his eyes flashing in alarm. But I refused to listen to his lies any longer. I turned on my heel to storm away from him.

"Rose," he yelled after me, his tone was vulnerable and the way he said my name made my steps falter. I looked over my shoulder to see his expression filled with fear and that look on him made me reconsider my options. I couldn't say no to him, I knew I could still help him, I couldn't write him off as damaged and chuck him in jail. With a sigh I returned to face him with a new plan. If he was going to engage in behaviours that go against the law, then I want to be there to convince him out of it.

From his actions defending me I knew that he wasn't a bad person, he didn't deserve to go to jail and it would eat me alive if I was the one to send him there without actually trying to help him first. I realise now after seeing his scars and how vulnerable he was when he was drunk that Blake's bad boy behaviour was not him playing out, it was him crying for help. And I was going to help him, I just need to solidify a way for him to allow me to help him and let me into his life. This was the option I could live with.

"Fine, I have a proposition for you." I crossed my hands over my chest, my eyes challenging. Blake glanced up at me from under his eyelashes, his eyes exposed with vulnerability. But his attitude accompanied this as he raised an eyebrow in question.

"I won't tell the police about what I witnessed, only if you allow me to come with you on your unlawful adventures," I suggested. His eyes widened in perplexity and then searched mine for a long time in confusion at my question, his mouth turning down into a frown. He was not happy about my proposition, but his only other option was to go to jail.

"Fine," he snapped reluctantly, his tone laced with venom and lamentably. One side of my mouth lifted up into a victorious smile at his agreement.

"Shake on it?" I insisted placing my hand out toward his. His eyes were troubled and filled with turmoil as he reluctantly reached his hand out to engulf mine. Then we shook hands, cementing his promise.

Our eyes locked then and a feeling of unease rushed though me as I realised what I just agreed to. I wasn't sure if this agreement was turning Blake over to the righteous side or if Blake was now bringing me over to the bad boy side.

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Hello everyone! I hope you are all well!!

A new chapter YAY! What did you guys all think? What do we think Blake is really up to?

I am really sorry for such a long wait for this chapter, I have been focusing on editing my other story and this one is on the back burner for now.

Thank you all for reading and your continued support, it means so much. Please comment your thoughts, I love love love reading them!

Also just letting you guys know that I have created an instagram account where I will post sneak peaks and everything going on the Elaine writing world, my account is called elaine2132.

Much love, Elaine Xx