"Jungkook open the fucking door". I yell, clutching the handle and pulling it out like a madwoman.

While Jungkook and Jun sit inside the car laughing at my misery. This is not a nice way to start the morning, especially what happened in the morning, and me waking up so early and reading Jimin's blunt message.

Thinking about it makes me go red.

' When I said I needed deeds, I didn't mean a live audio feed. Next time a warning would be better. I don't need to hear you ever again. I am traumatised for life, woman'.

I felt like crying in embarrassment that I pushed Jungkook off the bed in the mishap.

Whether this is his retaliation, or he loves to torture me. And without a doubt, it's both. And that little monster is into this. By the way, why is he even here and awake early this morning, or is it just me being so cranky.

"Jungkook". I banged the window, Jun just stuck his tongue at me, I needed to scream in frustration, but I don't have a desire to be deemed a crazy woman by his family. It's cold, and I am freezing my ass here.

"What's going on here?" Jin asked behind me, I turned almost crying in joy as I saw him swirling the car key on his fingers.

"They are annoying me". I pointed my fingers at the window childishly. Laura stood beside looking like sunshine. My white winter sweater dress with a coat looked dark in contrast to her. That's because of my looming dark soul being grumpy.

The car in front of us honked, catching our attention. The window rolled down as Nana stuck her head out and said "Get in, kids. We don't have time to waste, we need to leave".

Wow. Thank gods I am not the only one who is not happy right now. Someone else also enjoys not waking up so early.

Mr Jeon and Mrs Jeon along with Nana, Namjoon and Katie in one car. Jungkook, Jun, Jin, Laura and I in one of them in which Jungkook and Jun show no signs of letting me in.

The car beeped behind me, turning at the speed of light. I clutched the handle pulling it, but it didn't open because Jun locked it from the inside.

"Fine, don't let me in". I huffed walking towards Nan's car. I hope they can squeeze me. I am even ready to lay myself on the car roof, or even the trunk is better.

"Namjoon". I sang on my way to the car. No way Namjoon is driving, he is sitting in the passenger seat. I hope he can knock some senses into his son and his idiotic brother.

Before I could reach it, I was pulled back, "Get in". Jungkook hissed.

I smiled in victory, getting in the car everyone was already settled in. I stuck my tongue at Jun. Jungkook got in after me.

"You were going to leave without me". I started to Jin looking at him with my face filled with betrayal and exaggerated despair.

Jin rolled his eyes as he swerved the car from the driveway.

"What is that?". Jun said making a face at the radio playing a children's song "I am not a child, change it to something we all can vibe".

I concealed the smile, Jun sulking over a song is just too cute to handle, he has his arms crossed, huffing, he leaned his head back.

"Kid, this is my car, which song should be played? I am the one who gets to decide". Jin said, flipping his non-existent hair.

"At least play songs of your age, you old man".

Oh, snap. I burst into laughing so hard lurching forward. This was not for everyone to hear, but we all heard it. When I kept wheezing, Jungkook pulled me back.

"Jeez, I told you not to drink coffee so early. You are too energetic now". Jungkook said, pulling me to his side, keeping my head tucked under his chin."Just sleep it off".

"Oh, gods, it was better when you both were not so Lovey-dovey".Jun muttered beside me, making a gagging noise.

I smiled, pulling him towards, kind of risky, but we both were tucked under Jungkook's arms. I was sitting completely leaning and Jun was between us. Five-hour trip I will get enough sleep on the five-hour trip. It's still 7 am, too early to be awake.

.............

It's December and windy. I stood outside the car with Jun sleeping peacefully in my arms. I pulled him more in my embrace so he wouldn't be cold.

Jungkook was unloading the trunk watching from the corner of his eyes. He is not so subtle, and I know what is going in that wild yet innocent brain of his.

"You could go inside, you know?". Jungkook said for the umpteenth time, yeah, it's freezing here with a baby in my arms, it is not a wise choice. But the peace and tranquillity the view is bringing me are surreal. The cold wind carefully brushing my cheeks painting them a shade of pink.

The beach and the waves hitting the shore dancing along its command is just mesmerizing.

"I will give you a moment".

Jungkook chuckled, standing beside me, he put his arm around me. "Finally, all the exhaustion caught him". Jungkook's eyes had a loving look as he looked at Jun in my arms.

I glanced down, Jun as his face tucked safely in my neck as if finding his haven. So true, we were playing and vibing all the way here. We only slept for a half-hour before screaming at the top of our lungs. Something about road trips or travelling in the car hits different.

" Do you want to go inside?". Jungkook asked. I shook my head, he carefully took Jun from my arms who whined a little.

"I will take him inside, but don't stay too long outside, you will catch a cold". Jungkook nodded at the beach, kissing my temple before he walked his way towards the beach house.

Taking a deep breath, I bent down to remove my shoes. My feet sank in the sand carrying my body towards the call of the waves. So many thoughts running free in my head. Sometimes I want to submerge under water ignoring everything around me.

I don't have the luxury to do it again. I can't afford to hurt my loved ones. Disappointing them would be the last thing I want to do. First, I would have easily done that. The adrenaline is wearing off me, making me numb. The only place calling me would be the dark state of my mind.

Which won many times over my miserable life. The epiphany: I didn't do anything other than always running away from my demons. I Always feed them with my fear, increasing their hunger for more. Rather than chasing away or owning them. I was weak. No, I was vulnerable, as society always deemed us. Women were weak even if they provided the whole family or gave birth to a future, she was the one who was useless and weak.

Banished from the pleasures of societies. So many thoughts running wild, I considered running away as I always did. But this time I want to fight.

The waves hitting my feet, the cold water was the only thing I felt liberating and freeing my body from all the dark demons clutching my soul.

Shivers run down my body feeling cold yet free. My hair dancing with the wind, as I said, I always wanted to dance and colour my soul. I don't need a tune to dance to the rhythm. Jungkook is enough for that. Even if I am walking alone, Jungkook never once left my mind.

I am confident whatever choice I would make, he will stand by my side not in front of protecting me but also beside me fighting alongside me.

He will fight my battles in his ways but always encourages me to do the same. He will always understand me without me saying anything. Like just now he left me alone as he knew I needed to sort my thoughts and keep everything in check.

I couldn't ask for anything more. Him with me his presence and essence are enough for me. I would not do it for him, but in some way, I am doing this for him. I am going to fight the battle I have left for a long time. This time I am going to win even if it means blood being spilt. It doesn't matter if it's mine or Nathan's.

I am going to crush him so that won't be able to recognize himself. I'm going to tell Jungkook I am ready before we leave to go home.