《ɪ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ》XXIX
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Did you ever wish you could turn back things as they were? The mistakes, if you got a chance would you change it?
I wish I could but I don't want to. I thought what could have happen if my curiosity didn't got the best of me and I didn't found out. How would things would be? he would have never told me. The betrayal is too much to take.
Was all this just a game for him? Was it just act, if yes he wouldn't even have spend a second with me.
Was that apology fake too? Spending time at my place cooking for me, what was that then?
I am being dramatic I know but put yourself in my shoes what would you do? When you know you never meant anything to that person, you cared too much and for them it was all fun watching you making a fool out of yourself.
I completely fell in his trap, but you know what I wouldn't want to change anything I still choose this again and again. Dumb I know.
Thinking about this is giving me headache. I took bit of then ice cream absent mindly trying not to overthink. I was still in his hoodie, which was comforting me how ironic that was the owner of this hoodie caused me pain, but still he was only one who can calm and comfort me.
For first time, since I moved in this apartment I was feeling lonely, the apartment looked quite empty. I was grown to having Jungkook around. I was afraid to move from the bed to go anywhere especially the kitchen knowing the pang of disappointment would it me not seeing him standing there looking at me with a smile as I sit there seeing him cook.
The house looked gloomy just like my mood.
Sighing I close my eyes trying to erase the images of him. The focused look when he wants to concentrate, his smile when I try to distract him when he is cooking.
Stop thinking about him.
I should have given him a chance to explain rather than putting my self in so much pain. I needed time to process everything, I was petrified to hear his answer, he would say something I don't want to hear.
The door bell rang, my heart picked its pace its definitely Jungkook. I am not ready what should I should pretend I didn't hear the doorbell, pretend to sleep. He was ringing the door bell, he knew the pass code he could have entered like before but he didn't. He is waiting patiently somewhere he was not sure how worst I could react if he come unannounced.
This gesture kind of warmed by heart, I was feeling better. He was nervous.
I lazily got up and walked towards the door. I opened the door the sight leaving me breathless. He still have this effect on me, whatever the situation is.
He looked awkward not knowing how to react. He was biting his lips shuffling on his feet.
I left him standing there and walked inside making myself comfortable on the kitchen stool.
He slowly closed the door behind him, and quietly stood in front of me looking down at the floor.
He looked like a kid caught in a guilty act. I wanted to smile he looked cute, the frown on his face not knowing how to start explaining.
I am not good at the talking stuff to but the misunderstandings need to be cleared so you can move on.
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Here moving on seems difficult because I could not get rid of him even if I tried. This was what I was afraid him growing up on me and the part where I am going to get hurt.
"I am sorry".
He barely whispered I could have missed it but I managed to hear it. His voice hold guilt, sincerity but I still didn't say anything it didn't seem to faze me. I don't need his apology I need answers.
"Why?"
My voice came harsh than intended, he winced a little.
"For lying about JK thing, I should have told you when I got a chance. I was afraid you will just walk away from me." He paused glancing at me gauging my expression.
I had a calm and collected look" You think I can't walk away from you now".
He nodded his head"I deserve it just let me explain if you still want to then I will respect your choice".
"Well that's why you are here, so let's just get to the point start explaining".
Fuck I sound like a absolute bitch.
"I just wanted to know you better, so it seem right to me that time".
I raised my brows" This seemed right, like a normal person you could have just asked me, have you ever thought if you came to me like you are now so we could have avoided all this drama".
"Remember you hate me, how could I come and suddenly be your friend you wouldn't believed me any other way,if I could have come and asked you, you would have turned me down without even thinking twice". He said his words held no accusation.
He is right, I wouldn't have believed him. But he didn't need to get to this extent, why the sudden interest to get to know me? After so many years now.
"We pull pranks on each other every chance we get, we annoy the hell of each other. What do you expect me do then? OK Jungkook that's seems a nice idea let's get to know each other, what for? Why now?".
My trust issues are starting to get me again.
We just stared each other, I was getting as every second passed and he just looked calm now.
" No answer for that, why suddenly triggered your interest for me". I snapped.
"I was always interested in you, you always intrigued me Mia. I didn't try to show, it increased more when I saw Jimin and you sneaking glances at each other when caught both turned so quickly and act like you weren't staring at each other. You both had so much raw emotions in your eyes.It used to piss me off sometimes. I hated when I didn't knew things.He always looked from afar like he is trying to protect you. He watched you without you knowing. That's besides the point, I just loved how you reacted at my pranks. "
He paused smiling reminiscing, unconsciously I smiled too. Those days were good, frustrating but good. I felt alive, when I pulled a prank on him.
" I waked everyday with smile on my face, anticipating what would you do next. Your reactions were fascinating like you didn't expect it. It was freshing. I was just so selfish and self centered sometimes going to a extent I didn't know would hurt you. I just wanted to say this whatever my intentions were never to hurt you, if I did I am sorry"
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He waited me to say something, I sat there processing everything. So this is all because of his curiosity about Jimin. He wanted to know what happened between us.
"Jungkook".
He looked at me with his big doe eyes, breaking every resolve in my body. Damn I was so much enticed.
"Was spending time with me, all out of your curiosity?".
His eyes widened "No". He quickly answered " I did because, I loved spending time with you. He took a step towards me, taking the hold of my hands. Glancing at my face for any signs that I would pull away when I didn't he sighed in relief.
Tracing his thumb gently on the back of my hand" Trust me Mia, it was killing me not telling You, I was so guilty I didn't thought this would turn this way."
" Thank you for telling me this Jungkook".
He looked at me surprised, my voice was more gentle and soft.
"I really appreciate it". I softly smiled at him.
He smiled moving his arms to my cheek caressing it. He suddenly turned serious "You were never a game to me Mia, whatever I did for past month I meant it, it was not a act. You mean a lot to me and I did a shitty job not showing it but I promise I will make up it up for all the hurt I put you though".
I was so grateful that he said those words. I needed it to hear it for him.
"And please don't cry again especially because of me". He said leaning his forehead on mine.
"Can I kiss you?". He whispered.
Oh god its finally going to the happen. The moment I have being waiting for. I just nodded.
He was slowly leaning, I couldn't wait anymore so I leaned in completing the gap between us and kissed him.
Fuck this kiss is so different from any other kiss I had. As soon as our lips touched, electricity passed through my whole body. I melted in his arms. I hold his arms for support, digging my nails into it. I swear if he didn't had his hold on me I would have fallen down. My knees were weak.
His lips are just as I imagined no more better,Soft, sweet, his minty breath mixing with the ice cream I had. So fucking delicious. He was gentle but putting right amount of force.
I leaned more into him, wanting more. He pulled me closer, his one hand holding my head in place having a grip on my hair. Other hand on my small back pushing me more into him.
There was no space left between us anymore, we were onto each other. If this isn't the kiss every girl dreams of then I don't know what it is. His lips are magical.
We separated to catch a breath, we gazed at each other breathy heavily. His eyes were dark, so fucking deep so much emotions were swimming in his eyes.
Then he was onto me, this time his lips came demanding and little rough. My back was pressed on the kitchen table, he kept leaning so I had to lean back causing me to wince at the pain I felt on my back.
But I didn't care I circled my arms around his neck pulling him closer.
He suddenly picked me up and sat me on the kitchen counter holding my thighs apart so he could stand in between them.
I arched my back feeling his chest pressing against me. That was not only thing pressing against me,his Lower body came directly into mine.
I bit his lower lip, holding the back of his hair. He growled roughly pulling my Hair, a soft moan left my mouth which was muffled in his mouth. His tongue caressed mine playing with it exploring my mouth. I didn't fight it for now I enjoyed it.
Oh god, this is heaven. Kissing him felt so incredible, its so natural how my body fits against his. His hands making circles on my thigh, I was still in his hoodie with just underwear underneath.
My skin was burning from need I could feel him too, this is the kiss I dream of. This is the kiss I want so much dominating, powerful and care.
He hands traveled from my thighs, resting on my hips giving a little squeeze before placing it on my stomach slowly rubbing it.
I softly laughed, he pulled away from each other he was still rubbing my stomach a huge smile on his face.
"Did you eat?".
I was so blown away because of him. He is concerned about me eating in the middle of our make out session. I laughed again, how can someone be so hot and so cute at the same time.
I love how he worries about me eating all the time. He doesnt even hide it. He meant it when he said I mean so much more to him. I just didn't want to admit it to myself that I know what he means.
He frowned at me as I was laughing but still a smile on his lips was there as he gazed at me. He brushed his thumb on my lips.
"What? You are so light weight."
"You know, you said you are going to make it up to me. You meant by food right". I cupped his face in ku hands. " You know the way to my heart so nice try, but I just know the most amazing way to make it up to me, this".
I pecked his lips "You can make up by this too, I don't mind". I said placing a kiss on his lips, but pulled away before he can kiss me back.
He pouted, I smiled pecking him" So what you think? ".
I keep peppering his face with kisses as he kept giggling. He held my face away from him.
" What I think it is not enough, you need more".
He pulled me into him, I gasped as he bit my earlobe whispering huskily this words. My legs around his legs tightened. I could feel his smirk he knows what he is doing.
"But right now food is the way to make it up for you, and for other away I will think about it, if you will a good girl".
His lips traced the path from my ear to my jawline with a agonising pace finally meeting my lips. But he he didn't moved his lips he just kept his lips on mine for little longer before pulling away.
"So now what do you think? Will you behave and take your rewards?".
That smirk and low register. I am sucker for that and when it comes to him.
Rather than answering I rolled my hips into him. "What do you think I will do?".
"That's what I expected from you". He grinned at me. "Little brat who deserves punishment not rewards"
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