It has been a couple months since you moved in with your brother Jun, him making sure that all your needs had been taken care of. Upon seeing your room for the first time, it was an understatement to say that you were surprised beyond belief.

Jun set up your room as a little art studio, your room split up with your bed and side table on one side and the other had newspapers littered over the floor, the corner of the room holding blank canvases for your use during the school year. You told him he shouldn't have been surprised that you tackled him for a hug a second later.

During those months, the gap between you and Jun had gotten almost nonexistent, as if it wasn't even there in the first place—although both of you knew that wasn't the case. Perhaps over time, both of you had changed, getting to understand each other even more now that you stayed together.

Rather than dwelling on Jun's change, you opted to just ask him—not that you could hide it from him anyway.

"Something is different about you..." You glance at Jun's face, trying to figure out the difference. "Did you find love or something?"

"Maybe so?" Jun lets out a little laugh, one corner of his lips twitching up into a small smile. "If loving yourself counts."

"That works too," you laugh along with him, nudging his shoulder teasingly. "Whatever it is, it's a nice look for you. You look...free? I can't really put my finger on it..." Your eyes look up as your face held a contemplative look.

Jun scratches the side of his head in an almost bashful manner. "...Thanks. I'm glad it's working out then." He stands up from the dinner table and picks up both yours and his dishes. "I'll clean up here, you go finish up your work. It's almost submission period right?"

You nod at Jun, shooting him a smile. "Yeah, thanks Jun! I'll help you out when I finish up!"

Jun cocks his brow at you, sending a slight smirk your way. "I'll believe it when I see it~"

Unfortunately, since the art university during the semester was so demanding, there was less and less time to skype Oikawa. It had been the same for Oikawa in his university, also up to his neck with the amount of work he had to get through.

There were those rare times when you finally had enough money saved up to visit Oikawa and watch his games—be it a practice game or not, you wanted to see his improvements and be able to support him without the barrier of a computer screen. Oikawa was the same, coming over to visit when you mentioned exhibits you were able to show your work in.

However, money didn't come too easily for the both of you so you guys also settled for small moments when you could text each other or call one another—even if both of you knew that definitely wasn't enough. There were also times when he'd send a gift to you and vice versa; he had even sent you a couple shirt with a little alien on it (to which you finally realized he had a great interest in), telling you to wear it on your next visit and he would wear the same.

Currently, you were holed up in your room again after dinner, painting against time since the submission deadline was getting scarily closer. During these times, you would turn off your phone and laptop so you could focus wholly on finishing the works you had to get done for school.

You let Oikawa know beforehand, surprised that he took it pretty well but then realized he had his usual ulterior motive. He wanted you to visit him the weekend after your submissions. You told him that it would have to take longer since visiting each other proved to be quite an expense too big for a couple of full-time university students. Begrudgingly, he agrees with you, telling you to come visit him as soon as possible.

~~

The sun had gone down hours ago and your eyes were starting to feel heavy. Looking at the clock, you decide to finish up for the day and go to bed to get some much needed rest.

You slowly clean up your materials, eyes glancing at the calendar once in a while that counted down the days when you'd be past this submission horror and visit a very precious person soon after.

When you had told Jun of your financial troubles, Jun had slipped in a ticket for you a couple days after you told him, him telling you to visit Oikawa that very weekend after your deadlines. Needless to say, he had received another tackle from you. Thanks to Jun, you'd be able to visit Oikawa earlier than both of you guys had anticipated. And since the ticket came as a surprise for you, you decided to surprise Oikawa as well, contacting Iwaizumi to get the address and number for their dorm.

Finally finished up with the cleaning in your art studio, you head to bed quickly, falling asleep right when your head hits the pillow.

~~

When you open your eyes, you feel very disoriented, getting dressed sluggishly and heading off to school. That's when it hit you.

Looking around your surroundings, you realize you're back at Aobajōsai High. Your eyes dart back and forth when you notice Ami beside you. She talks to you in her usual animated manner, not noticing the very confused state you're in at the moment. Then a thought came to you.

If you're back in high school then that means...

Soon after, a familiar figure enters your field of vision as you unconsciously smile at Oikawa who was still chatting away with Iwaizumi. Your smile drops as you notice that even as they got closer, he had not acknowledged you at all. When Oikawa had passed you without so much as a hello, you glance at his retreating figure in confusion.

Ami notices your expression and nudges your side. "What did he do to you?"

Your brows scrunch at the cold shoulder you had just received. "I'm not too sure what's up with Tōru..." You thought nothing of your comment until you saw Ami gaping at you.

"Since when were you guys close?" Her arms grip your shoulders, shaking you a little. "I mean I know you guys stay after school but you guys don't even go to the train station together!"

You blink slowly, taking in Ami's words. "We...don't?"

Her eyes just widen more as she leans into you. "Wait, do you?" She waits for your response but lets go of you gently when she sees the confusion on your face. "Hey...are you alright?"

You take a deep breath. "Yeah, fine just..." you trail off. "Hey, what's the date today?" The moment Ami tells you, you felt yourself draw in a deep intake of air. You weren't too sure on the specific date but you knew that it was past the time when you and Oikawa did officially meet.

But this time...you didn't.

Seeing your distraught expression, Ami grabbed onto your arm gently, linking arms with you. "I could see it happen though, I ship it."

You laugh at the irony as you wondered to yourself, was everything your imagination?

~~

School went by painfully slow as you went through the lessons. You couldn't focus and your mind was jumping from thought to thought trying to figure out what was happening. Soon, the last bell of the day rang as everyone shuffled out of their seats, the volume in the class progressively getting louder. You just sat there filing through your thoughts when you noticed someone standing by your desk.

Looking up at the figure, you see Tadashi smiling like he usually did as he gave you a small wave. "Hey, so are we going to the art club now?"

You stare at him, maybe for too long because you see him squirm under your scrutinized gaze. Tadashi had always been familiar with everyone but for him to go out of his way to walk with you was different. "Tadashi-kun, when did we start walking to the art club together?"

He looks taken back by your question for a moment before he laughs. "A couple weeks ago I guess? I wasn't keeping count." Tadashi packs up your notebooks and puts them into your bag. "C'mon, lets get going."

Nodding silently, you follow after him, inwardly thanking him for not questioning you on your odd behavior. Your mind was filled with static and your heart got crushed into mush when a painful thought came to you.

Somehow, Oikawa wasn't part of your life.

~~

Once you got to the art club room, you situated yourself beside Ami while Tadashi set himself up on the other side of you. You prepared your canvas and your paints almost automatically but when you finally stared at the canvas before you to start, you drew a blank. The brightness of the white was blinding but you had no energy to fill up the canvas with paint like you normally did. Your mind was swirling in confusion at your current situation.

From that moment you met Oikawa, had that just been a long dream?

As you were deep in your thoughts, Ami and Tadashi glanced at you for a moment before looking to each other for answers. They both shrug at each other, concerned for you but not knowing why you had been acting so strangely today. When they looked at your blank canvas, they assumed that you had not gotten out of your art slump yet.

You break them out of their contemplation as you sigh to yourself, them quickly snapping their eyes back onto their own canvases, but keeping you in the corner of their eyes. You lean down and grab your bag, pulling out your sketchbook. Ignoring the questioning gazes on you, you open to a fresh page and close your eyes in thought.

How did you manage to get out of your art slump the first time? You ask yourself. Your mind immediately answers with a name that you knew all too well. Thinking back to all the moments you had together, you remember a time when were at the gym with your sketchbook as you sat in on his practice. You remembered it well, how he made steps to improve on every strike. The same awe and respect welled up inside you and you noticed that the block hindering your mind was gone. You clenched and unclenched your hand and grinned to yourself.

It was no use worrying about it. If your time with Oikawa never happened, you'll go talk to him and see if things would be the same as you remembered it to be. If not, then at least you had tried. You nod to yourself. That's right, you shouldn't give up before trying in the first place.

You didn't even notice that club time was already over until Ami tapped your shoulder lightly, bringing you out of your slouch over your sketchbook. "Hey, I'm heading home now." She squeezed your shoulder softly as you returned her response with an acknowledging nod before turning your attention to Tadashi to give him a nod as well. Ami sighs at you, smiling at the fire she could see behind your eyes. "I can't wait to see what you made tomorrow."

You grin at them as they give you a relieved expression. "We'll see you tomorrow." Tadashi smiles at you.

With that, they leave the room, making you the last student in the art club room.

~~

You were in the zone.

You were going through different sizes of paintbrushes and even using your own fingers for some of the areas on your newest work. Paintbrushes glided across the canvas and fingers dabbed onto the corners. From time to time you would scrunch your nose in hopes that the itch would go away but unfortunately, you would have to stop your trance if you wanted to scratch it.

Placing your paintbrush down, you clean your hands as best as you can on your smock before scratching the tip of your nose, instantly feeling relief. You jump when you hear a yelp echo in the hallway and you shoot up from your seat and look out the door to see the source of the noise.

Your mouth gapes as you see Oikawa standing up slowly from the ground, pouting as he nursed himself from the impact of falling on the ground. You step out of your art club room and your shoes echo across the hall, making Oikawa look up at you. Taking a small breath, you walk over to him and ask, "...are you okay?"

He stares down at you for a moment and grins. "Ah that? Yeah, I'm fine." He points at the ground a few steps away from him. "Watch out for that portion though, I guess it's been waxed too well." He turns his attention back to you as you nod at his warning. "Hm, thanks for your concern~" When he winks at you, you couldn't help but laugh. It felt so nice to speak with him again. Oikawa however, seemed confused at your response to what he thought was a flirtatious wink. You wave off his confusion as you smile up at him.

"I just heard this loud scream so I wanted to make sure everything was okay," you teased, finding amusement in Oikawa's growing pout.

"You know, I was going to be nice but I'm just going to let you figure it out," he mumbles to himself, making you quirk your brow. He gives you a mischievous grin before he turns back around. "I'll see you around...Rudolph."

Your chest burst with warmth at the nickname you became fond of over the year. As soon as the nickname reached your ears, you saw a blinding white making you close your eyes against the sudden light.

As you opened your eyes, the scene before you brought a gasp to your lips. Currently, you were lying in your bed, staring up at the ceiling as stray beads of sweat fell from your forehead. You sigh in relief.

A dream.

Your hand reached out to your bedside table and searched around for your phone blindly. When you finally grasp it in your hand, you turn on your phone and squint at the screen. Soon after, your phone buzzes violently which succeeds in startling you and dropping on your face. You grumble as you pluck the phone from your face gingerly to see who would call you at this time. Not even a second later, a smile erupts from your face as you realize who it is and quickly answered the call.

"Hey Tōru."

____________________

It's been a couple months since he's last seen you in person.

During that time, Oikawa had gotten into at a sports university in the area along with Iwaizumi. The two friends had found out they would also be dorm mates, much to Iwaizumi's dismay.

He sighed heavily as he practiced in the gym with his other teammates, not being able to get over the fact that you guys have been getting less and less time to spend with each other. Even skyping was pushing it for Oikawa and he didn't even care if he was asking for too much but he just really, really wanted to see you.

Of course, you did visit him and vice versa but he knew it definitely wasn't enough. At least for him.

Iwaizumi notices Oikawa off into his little world again, knowing exactly what he was mulling on about. Walking up to Oikawa, he gives him a light smack on the back of the head, successfully breaking Oikawa out of his thoughts. Once Oikawa's attention is on him, Iwaizumi grunts, and in a gruff voice he tells Oikawa to get back into practice.

Oikawa gives him a thankful smile before it goes to its usual broad one, slapping his cheeks to get his head back into practice before he picks up a volleyball again. He knew you were working hard over there and he would make sure that he'd do the same.

Since it would only be a couple more weeks until you could come over and visit him.

~~

Another day of practice finishes and everyone packs up for the day. Usually, Oikawa would stay and practice a bit more but memories of you hanging out with him after practice during the high school days become more and more vivid in his mind. He decides that for today he would actually get to bed on time and practice with a clearer mind tomorrow.

He wouldn't mind having dreams about you either, he added quietly to himself.

His walk back to the dorms is a quiet one, Oikawa rejecting Iwaizumi's offer to go hang out with the team today and just really wanted to go get some sleep.

Oikawa's steps are slow and sluggish, the quiet night being his greatest enemy at the moment as thoughts continue to flow through his empty mind. It was no news to anyone that he was indeed 'whipped' or so they say. There just wasn't enough time in the world to satisfy him unless you were by each other's side.

He knew that he said that you guys could make the long distance relationship work, and he still thinks that way, but he just didn't know how much it would hurt.

Finally arriving at his dorm, he fishes out his room key from his pocket and opens the door tiredly.

As slow as it was, Oikawa manages to unpack all his stuff from his gym bag and get ready for bed. Turning on his phone, the corners of his lips twitch up into a smile when he sees that it's a good night text from you. He knew that this week would be unbearably busy for you and for you to still take the time to text him each and every day made his heart swell for you more and more.

Slipping into bed, he thumbs through all the text messages you sent to each other until he falls asleep.

~~

Oikawa wakes up like usual, his body trained itself to be an early morning riser as he got ready to head out for his morning run.

The run itself was fine but he felt a sense of foreboding as he got back and realized that Iwaizumi was waiting for him—in his Aobajōsai school uniform.

At first Oikawa wanted to question it but if this was a dream, he would also get to see you.

So during the walk to school, Oikawa was humming too cheerily for Iwaizumi's taste, Iwaizumi grumbling about why he had so much energy in the morning.

Soon after, Oikawa notices you walking with your friend Ami and shakes off his uneasiness. "Ah! It's Rudolph!" His steps start moving faster until he hears Iwaizumi.

"What are you even talking about?"

His steps make a sudden halt and he turns to Iwaizumi's annoyed expression. "It's not even close to Christmas yet, where are you even looking?"

The corners of his lips are pulled down into a frown when he realizes why he had such a foreboding feeling. As he passed by you and Ami, you didn't spare him one glance as you continued on your way. He looked at where you once stood, his fists unconsciously clenching.

What had happened and why now?

Iwaizumi's gruff voice knocked Oikawa back to the present. "Oi, quit standing there. Lets go."

Numbly, Oikawa walks towards Iwaizumi as he waited for him to catch up. They walked together in silence leaving Oikawa to ponder on why you were out of his life all of a sudden.

~~

Oikawa couldn't take his eyes off of you the moment you stepped into the gym with Ami, always having you in the corner of his eye. As reassuring as it was to finally see you again, Oikawa knew it wasn't enough. He wanted to sling his arm around your shoulder, hold your hand and wrap his arms around you in a hug.

It was that feeling again.

He felt a familiar feeling well up inside him, just like the time his team lost to Shiratorizawa. It was a hollow feeling, like a missing piece had been lost. Oikawa could feel himself spiraling downward and closing in on himself until—

"Oi, practice isn't over yet!"

—a volleyball smacks Oikawa right on his face.

...A bit unconventional but in a way, Oikawa couldn't help but feel relief that at least one thing stayed the same.

But what caught his attention were the moments after he got a red imprint on his face. His ears perked up to the familiar chuckle he heard amidst the other chatters of Oikawa staring blankly at the bleachers. He catches your eye and you give him an amused look, the corners of your lips tugged up in a small smile.