《Living With Them || StrayKids ff》EPILOGUE
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"Good work today sweetheart, see you tomorrow."
"Thanks Ms Emily. Have a good evening."
She gave me a hug before I walked off the coffee shop.
Today's work was somewhat tiring. Nothing much happened to make me boost my serotonin, so my mood wasn't at it's best. I just started walking with slow steps to return back home.
Though, it's a little unmotivating knowing that now I have no one waiting for me to come back from work. Two weeks have passed since they left and everything has gone back to normal. And I was not that pleased to return back to my typical routine, but I had no choice anyway.
My best friend had gone back to her place not long ago after the boys left my house. She stayed by my side to comfort me, because I was in need of mental support. My energy was drained from crying and the emptiness in my heart was bigger this time.
Vicky knew better than to question me for my state, so she just stayed by my side the whole time, hugging me until I got better. And I'm so grateful to her. I can't imagine going through that without her.
I know I may sound too dramatic, crying over something that I should be thankful for, because it's not like they died or anything. I still have the opportunity to watch them through the big screen.
But who am I kidding?
It's definitely not the same thing. And besides, I haven't heard of them since they left. They must be on hiatus still.
They haven't even sent me a single message.
Not that I was expecting something more.
I was so caught up in my own daydream that I didn't realise that I had arrived home.
'Be thankful that the cars didn't smush you to death. You were seriously out of focus the whole time.'
It's been a while since you last talked to me, you know?
'Yeah I know. I did that on purpose. Didn't wanna here your ugly crying the whole time.'
Ouch. You could have kept me company at least.
'Nah. Didn't feel like it.'
Jesus woman, don't you have a heart?
'I don't even have a body, sweetheart. How am I suppose to even have a heart?'
Point taken.
Unlocking the door, I entered in, a relieving sigh escaped my lips as I was finally at my comfort place. I took off my shoes, threw the keys on the coffee table and plopped myself on the couch, letting my body to sink deep into the cushions. I closed my eyes, sighing deeply from the exhaustion of the day. The silence in my house was extremely loud, creepy almost. I was so used on them being loud that I kind of feel uncomfortable and uneasy in this silence.
Slowly moving my hand back to my lower body, I picked up my phone from my back pocket of my jeans. Unlocking it, I went through my gallery and scrolled down. Pictures of them were still there. Our group photos, the cake, some embarrassing pictures of mine, that were probably taken by Minho or Hyunjin and I didn't know they excited and some other videos.
The only thing I was doing the past two weeks was just stare at our pictures every single day. Just to remind myself that this wasn't a dream. It was the reality that just felt too good to be true.
It was becoming a habbit of mine. I could even say that I had gotten addicted and couldn't last a day without seeing our group photos. I tried many times to prevent myself from doing that over and over again, because every single time I would start crying. Crying until my tears run out and was exhausted. But I failed, every time. I just wanted to see them so bad and this was the only way to do so.
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I clicked on the first video that caught my eye and waited for it to start playing. It was at the coffee shop. My phone was focusing on Hyunjin, who was having a mental beakdown on wether he should eat the carrot cake infront of him or not.
My lips slowly turning upwards to the sight. Ah, how I miss this llama.
I watched as he cut through the spongy cake, slowly bringing it up to his mouth with trembling hands. After about a whole minute of fighting over with himself, he tasted the cake. His face screamed disgust all over, his eyes squinting and his face grimacing. He was about to vomit and it made me giggle. He quickly gulped down a whole glass of water, trying to wash out the taste.
"WHAT THE- EW WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?! YOU TOLD ME THAT IT WOULDN'T TASTE LIKE CARROTS!", he exclaimed yelling, his loud voice made my phone vibrate.
"Shh! Drop it down, you'll wake up the whole neighborhood with your screams.", I head Felix's voice whispering as the camera focused on Hyunjin who had went to the sink to drink more water.
"BAHAHHAHA THAT-WAS-PRICELESS.", my voice spoke.
"You didn't-"
"Oh but I did."
"Delete that right now!", he growled.
There was silence for a moment before the camera started bluring out of the blue.
I was probably running away from him as he started chasing me like a hunrgy wild animal. My giggles being audible through the recorded video.
"Come here you little devil."
And that's when the video stopped, making me feel empty on the inside that this wonderful moment had stopped. I wish it was longer...
I then saw another video and didn't hesitate to click it at once. I wanted to see them so badly. I miss them so much. I wish I had more videos of them in my gallery.
The video started playing and a chuckle left my lips. It was dark outside, but the dim lights of the road were strong enough to light up the area and make me understand what was happening.
"You can do it baby!", I mocked him as the camera focused on the boy infront.
"I'm not a baby!" Jeongin, who was currently posing on the pavement defended himself.
"Then show me otherwise!", I cheered screaming, making my phone vibrate at the loud noise.
With that, he turned his back, he then, dramatically turned around again and started doing catwalk.
My laugh was uncontrollable at this point. Jeongin was hilarious there and it sure made my mood better.
I watched as he walked through the stone sidewalk with big, dramatically quick steps, moving his hands back and forth equally dramatically. There were strong snorts coming from the camer view.
"Man, I'll get a stomachache after this, I swear.", Chan's voice was heard almost in a whisper and I knew that he tried hard to hold back his laugh.
"What was that?", Jeongin voice popped out of nowhere.
"Oh nothing! You are doing great sweetie!", I could practically see Chan smiling michieviously at him, even though he wasn't in the view.
The rest of the video was just laughter and giggles coming from the rest of us and a embarrassed Jeongin continuing his cat-walk, until the video ended, once again.
Was it really all this real? Why does it feel like it never happened? It's just too good and unrealistic to be true. I sometimes think that I was dreaming all along and this never had happened. But pictures and videos like these bring me back to reality, slapping me and telling me that this was all real, leaving me a bitter-sweer feeling that it had ended. All the memories we made together came flooding back to me like a tsunami, crashing me down on its weight. Nothing lasts forever and the least I can do is to be thankful for everything.
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At this point, I couldn't hold back my hot tears rolling down my eyes that burnt my skin. The pain in my heart only grew bigger and I started sobbing uncontrollably. Rewinding the past with such videos doesn't help with the situation either. It feels like I've lost my parents for the second time, but at the same time it doesn't. Because I know they are alive. I'm just afraid of forgetting that all this actually happened. And most importantly, them forgetting me.
My heart is aching because I miss them so much. I miss Felix more... I wonder what is he doing right now and everyone to be specific. Are they having fun? Eating and sleeping well? So many questions that cannot be answered and it hurts me even more.
Times like these I hope that they had never came to my house in the first place, because then, it wouldn't be so difficult for me to forget them. I wouldn't need to stare at my gallery the whole time, play with my ring and my bracelet they had gave me and overall, not hurt this much.
Wiping off my tears, I lock my phone and throw it away.
I need to clear my mind a bit.
I burried my head in the pillows, muffling my sobs and letting myself calm down a bit.
As I was about to fall asleep, a notification made me jolt in surprise.
And here I thought I would sleep in peace.
I unlocked my phone and went up to mute my phone, in order for me to sleep with no disturbance, but as I did, I saw the notification that woke me up.
My eyes shot up as I read the caption. It was a vlive notification and not only that, but there was also the wolf emoji and Chan's name written there. Being a kpop fan had made me learn a little bit of korean so I could actually read it and realise that he was doing 'Chan's room', again. And that means...
They are back... THEY ARE BACK!
My heart started beating so fast, the adrenaline rushing in me. I got so excited to see them again, or at least Chan at this point. Learn if they are doing good or not but at the same time I was afraid.
I was quick to respond, as my finger tapped on the screen in no time. Soon, I was in the live, my smile getting wider by the second.
The familiar song 'Gone days' was playing in the background as usual and there he was, sitting in the middle of the screen, with a huge grin that made my heart melt. He normal black tank top that showed off his toned arms.
The comments were blowing up with all sorts of questions and compliments and per usual.
"Hello everyone! I know it's been a while but we are finally back! Thank you for waiting for us.", Chan started the introduction.
I was just staring at the vlive, smiling like an idiot. I could finally see them again.
He started talking, describing their experience while they were on hiatus and I lost focus at some point, because he was talking in Korean. And of course, I am not so advanced in my Korean to actually understand him, so I waited for him to say something in English instead.
Until I noticed something. Something that I have never noticed before in the Chan's room. Something that was hanging on the green wall, that was normally empty before.
It almost looked familiar to me. Like I had seen this before, but I couldn't put my finger on it and say for sure. I just squinted my eyes and tried to focus on the frame that was hanging on the wall. But Chan's voice brought me back to reality.
"Channie what's that on the wall?", Chan read a comment that would soon satisfy my curiosity as well.
"Oh this?", he turned around and looked at the green wall behind him. I saw a sad smile showing off, before he took the frame off the wall in his hands and showed it in the camera, clear for everyone to see.
"A dear friend of ours drew this and gifted it to us while we were on hiatus.", he smiled, his eyes holding so many emotions and one of them being nostalgia.
My heart almost dropped at the sight. It was my drawing... They drawing I gave them just a few minutes before they would leave once and for all. I never have thought they would actually frame it and put in on a wall. And more specifically, Chan's studio wall, where everyone can see it whenever he goes live.
I just stood there, dumbfounded. I think I stopped breathing for a moment.
I watched as Chan held the frame in his hands with so much care, as if it was a newborn baby and he was afraid to hurt it.
"This drawing is so precious to us. This person helped us go through some hardships and have great fun in the process. So, we alI wanted to frame it and see it everyday to be reminded of our good times together.", Chan spoke again, his voice slighty trembling as he struggled to put his words right and not reveal my gender. Because if he did, this would start a commotion as to why Straykids have a friend so close to them that it's a girl. Because, unfortunately, many fans are obsessing over little things like this.
"We had such a great time together. Cooking for us and making us laugh all the time. It was truly amazing.", he continued, as if our memories we made together came rushing towards him.
I couldn't believe he was talking about me in public. Saying such loving things and dedicating his vlive to talk about that.
"If you are watching this, please know that we miss you and love you very much. All of us. Hope you are doing good and thank for everything you did for us.", Chan ended the topic with his loving words, before putting the frame back to its place and continuing his vlive.
As the live finished after about one hour, I was still processing what had happened. I was overwelmed with emotions. All my questions well answered by the end of the vlive. I learnt that they were doing good, all of them. Though, he hid the truth when he had to describe how their hiatus went. He did say most of the things we did together, excluding the part where they had to stay at my place for a month. And basically everything that sounded too suspicious.
But overall, I was so relieved after this vlive. It was like a very heavy burden was lifted off my body and I was able to breath again. I finally knew they were doing okay, safe and sound. I needed nothing more to ease my mind and on the plus side, they still remembered me.
I couldn't ask for a better gift than that. I was beyond happy.
I could let myself drift to sleep peacefully now. And that's what I did, as my eyelids started to feel heavy along with my breathing. And soon, I was fast asleep on my couch.
~~~
~Two and a half years later~
"Yes granny, I'll eat don't worry. I'm cooking right now actually.", I said as I looked down at my hand that whisked some eggs, holding the pink whisk with the cat paw shaped handle. A bright smile crept in my lips at the sight of it, as I was reminded of Minho once telling me that this whisk, would make the 'perfect' Korean egg drop sandwich. And I've been making it every since with this tool.
"Okay, okay. Yes, love you too. Bye.", I hung up the phone and continued with the cooking.
Am I the only one here that my grandma just calls me, out of the blue, only to ask me wether I ate or not?
I mean, I'm 22 already, soon to be 23. I don't need her to worry so much for such things. I can take very good care of myself. I always did anyway.
Nothing much has happened the past couple of years. Continuing my life with the exact same way as I used to. Working daily at the coffee shop, taking care of my garden and spending time with my grandma.
I haven't been keeping much of a contact with the boys. We do have texted here and there at some point, but not this often anymore. They have been really busy with their career, as they are gaining more popularity by the second. So, I don't want to be a distraction to them. Though, I'm not gonna lie to myself and claim that I'm totally fine with that. I miss them and I cannot hide it and I wished we could text regularly. But I have no saying into this.
I'm actually so proud of them, though. They have gone so far and they have gained the recognition they deserved. They have went to various events and they have won so many different awards.
And I'm always watching them from afar, like a proud mother with teary eyes.
They have grown up so much, as well. They haven't changed this much, but they are for sure not babies anymore. Especially Jeongin. This boy has became a whole man.
They all are doing good and keep doing their own weird stuff. Being a mess, that is.
I'm always worried though, wether or not they are hiding the truth about them being this happy. Because, considering that they are idols, they have to keep their life private, along with their secrets. They always have to put up a smile, wether they're faking in or not and I'm always worried for them, as I don't really know the turth. We are not texting this much anymore and whenever we do, we don't talk for long or start such conversations.
Of course I've been keeping track with them. Watching every comeback and vlive of theirs. My drawing is still hanging on Chan's wall since then. It always gets me emotional and makes me miss them more.
I've seen Felix wearing our matching ring as well whenever he goes on live. I always watch him as he subconsciously plays with it all the time, never stop doing this through out his live. I've kept it as well, along with Hyunjin's bracelet of course.
I miss them so much still, but I can say that I've grown more mature and I'm actually good with them being apart from me. It was hard at first, but now, I don't need to see my gallery to feel better. I know they are doing okay and that's all I need.
As I finished making my breakfast, not managing to make it exactly like Minho's though, I tidied up my house and did some chores. As I did, I looked outside the widow and saw the sun shinning brightly. It was a nice summer day.
The weather is so nice today. I might as well go for a walk to cherish this moment.
I turned my heels and went up to my bedroom to get changed into something more appropriate than my pyjamas.
I can't be walking around like a homeless human being.
My grandma will disown me if she finds out.
As I was done getting ready, the doorbell rang. The sound of the bell echoed throughout the whole house and made me stop right in my tracks.
Okay, but I'm sure I wasn't expecting someone right now.
Except if it's my grandma, inviting herself in my house with no warning, as always.
"Coming!", I shouted loud enough to be heard from outside the front door. I quickly picked up my pace and started sprinting towards the entrance of my house.
Once I made my way to the hall, panting and breathing heavily, I put my hand on the doorknob.
Wow, I really do need to exercise more. I'm in a terrible condition.
Gripping the handle, I twisted it and slowly opened the door, expecting to be greeted by my beloved granny.
And I was indeed greeted by-
Wait.
That's no granny.
My eyes widened and my legs went dumb, my hands falling down on each side of by body. My breath hitched and at some point I think I stopped breathing at all.
"Excuse me miss? Can I ask for your help?"
These words.
I remember them clearly.
These were the first words he told me when we met two and a half years ago.
I huge, bright smile showed up in my face, radiating the insane amount of pure happiness I was feeling right now.
I was speechless.
My teary eyes avertered on each and every one of the eight boys infront of me, all of them smiling at me with the same energy and watery eyes.
All of them stretching their hands widely for me to take them in a group hug that I was quick to respond, as I run towards them and group hugged them after years.
"See? We told you we wouldn't forget you."
THE END
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Guys, I can't thank you enough for the support you have showed me throughout this journey. I appreciate it so much and I love you so much
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