*play music at the top to make it more emotional*

❝𝙰𝚂𝙷𝚃𝚁𝙰𝚈❞

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He was gone. I knew he was gone. But my mind and imagination wouldn't let me let him go. Ashtray died from the shoot out 3 months ago and ever since he died, my mind wouldn't let me move on. I could see him at times and talk to him, after that, he'd disappear and return a few days later.

I sat at the edge of Ash's bed, i was going through a tough time at the moment. I needed Ash more than ever right now. I was wearing a hoodie that once belonged to Ash but Fez let me keep it so I could have something to remember him by. It smelt like him but it was slowly fading away which i hated.

Fez let me come over often, just to chill in Ash's room for memories or to give him some company which i'm more then happy to do.

Tears ran down my face and i bit my lip to stop the sobs from coming out. "And why is my favourite girl crying?" I heard something speak. It was Ashtray. I slowly turned my head to see him sat next to me. "I'm going insane" I whispered and he furrowed his brows. "Why?" He asked and i sighed shakily. "You're not real, Ash. You're dead. Only i can fucking see you but you're not even here, its my imagination" i sobbed, he pulled me into a hug.

"I need you..but there's nothing you can do about it b-because you're dead" I whispered, tears falling down nonstop. "Ma, i may be your imagination but..i'm still here for as long as you need and want me" he murmured, cupping my cheek and wiping a tear. I slowly shook my head. "So always?" I questioned, sniffling. He smiled weakly.

"If thats how long you want and need me for, then yes" he reassured, tears forming in his eyes too. My lip quivered because i knew that wasn't true. He's not always gonna be here, he'll have to go at one point. I pulled him back into a hug and held onto him tightly, knowing he'd have to leave soon. "You know i'll always love you, right?" I asked with a small smile. "And I'll always love you too, Y/n" he replied.

He rubbed my back and held me for a few more minutes before we let go. "Goodnight Y/n" he whispered, more tears escaped my eyes and he kissed my forehead before disappearing once again. I knew none of it was real, but it felt like it was. I wiped my tears and looked at the spot where he once was sadly, I didn't even notice that Fez walked in.

"How you holding up?" He asked, sitting next to me, i rested my head on his shoulder. "I miss him more and more each day..." I explained and he nodded. "Yeah, me too.." he replied, sniffing sadly. "D..do you ever like, see him?" I asked hesitantly. He looked at me with a questionable look. "Like..sometimes i see him and i can talk to him, its my imagination but.." i stopped and let out a small cry. "It feels so real"

Fez gives me a sad look and pulls me into a hug and rubs my back. "It may be your imagination but..at least you can see him and know he's okay, you get me?" He asked with a smile on his face, i looked up at him and smiled back. "Yeah, i get you" I replied with a small laugh. He pulled me into another hug and i rested my head on his shoulder.

I looked over it and saw Ashtray, he was smiling sadly at us, tears still in his eyes. "Look after each other, ma. I love you both" he whispered and i smiled. "We love you too" i mouthed and he grinned and just like that, he was gone again.

And that was the last time i ever saw him......