"I've never loved myself..."

"You should, you're perfect"

I've always hated myself, I hated myself a little before i met Javon too. Now we're dating and people started hating on my body, i started to dislike myself more. I never told anyone about it. Not Jayla, not Jaden, not my sister, not my parents and definitely not Javon. Javon would probably get upset.

I started wearing oversized clothes, I didn't want to show any of my skin and I didn't want to show off my body. Thankfully, nobody even questioned it. I was happy nobody asked me about it because I wouldn't even know how to reply to them. Until today when i spent the night at the Waltons.

(you're wearing this, or something else idc)

It was really hot today, but I didn't wanna wear anything revealing so i just kept the oversized jumper on. Jayla came and picked me up. Javon and Jaden were in the car and they both immediately hugged me, along with Jayla too.

"Gosh Y/n, how are you not hot in that outfit?" Jaden laughed, Javon and Jayla agreed. I smiled awkwardly and sunk down in the seat. Jaden and Jayla made their own conversation and Javon made me lean my head on his shoulder. He kissed my hand and buried his nose into my hair. "You alright, ma?" He asked in a gentle whisper.

I hesitated before replying "yeah..i'm okay" i felt Javon kiss my forehead before tilting my chin so i was looking at him. "You sure?" He asked again. His tone was soft, caring yet stern at the same time. I smiled and kissed him. "I'm sure, baby" I whispered back and he gently kissed my cheek.

Later on, Jayla suggested on everyone having a sleepover at mine since my parents were away and i have a pool and it would be good for the hot day. They all got their swimming stuff and when we got to mine, they all jumped in and played some games while i sat at the side, not wanting to get in my swimming costume.

I got up and walked upstairs to the bathroom that was in my room. I took my jumper off and stood in front of the mirror with my tank top on, just inspecting my body. Wishing i looked better. I didn't notice that tears were running down my cheeks and I didn't even hear Javon knocking on the door.

"Baby, are you okay?" I heard him ask. I sniffed and let him in, as soon as i saw him, i just wrapped my arms around him. He immediately hugged back and kissed my forehead. "Talk to me, Y/n, whats wrong?" His voice was so gentle, as if i'd break down if he didn't speak so softly.

"I don't love myself" i cried and held his head closer to me (ur arms are wrapped around his neck and ur hands are on the back of his head). Javon rubbed my back and held me closer, swaying me back and forth carefully. "Oh please, don't cry..don't cry.." he whispered. "I've never loved myself" i sobbed.

He pulled out the hug and cupped my cheeks. "You should, you're perfect" he said and i shook my head and closed my eyes. "Look at me, baby" he mumbled and I opened my eyes to look at him. "Y/n M/n L/n, you're the most perfect girl i have ever met in this entire world. You have the most gorgeous eyes, you're body is beautiful and not only that, you have the best personality ever" he reassured.

His thumbs gently caressed my cheekbones and we still had strong eye contact. "Y/n, i need you to believe this...it's all true, everyone can see it. You know Jayla says she's jealous of your looks? My fans wanna look like you, Jaden says you're pretty too and Daelo thinks you're pretty" he explained and put his forehead against mine. "Really?" I asked.

Javon smiled, moving his hands down to my waist. "Really. The only person who doesn't see it..is you" he said and i knew everything he said was true. I knew when Javon was lying and when he wasn't. I pulled him into another hug and i felt him kiss my shoulder and forehead. "Thank you Javon" i said and he pulled away to peck me on the lips.

After that, Javon convinced me to go in the pool and when we finally had enough of the pool, we all went up to my room and watched the first season of Euphoria. Jaden fell asleep on the floor (he was meant to sleep on a mattress but he didn't) , Jayla fell asleep on the mattress on the floor and Javon and i were cuddling on my bed.

His hand was rubbing up and down my sides, his eyes fixated on the tv. I smiled whenever small Ashtray came onto the screen. "You were so small and adorable" I spoke up and Javon chuckled. "Were? I still am adorable" he replied, rolling his eyes playfully. I was so grateful for Javon Wanna Walton.