I didn't think having this conversation in the hospital was smart so after my big mouth brother reveal the big secret to the twins before I could even say anything, I had to take them to somewhere no one would listen and somewhere they felt comfortable and safe in.

The ice cream shop.

Yeah I'm a sell out.

There was music playing at the background. Soft, calming and happy.

"I don't want ice cream"Cameron mumbles.

"But they got your favourite-"

"What did Uncle Tom mean mama? I want to know that" my son cuts me off

"How about I get you-"

"We don't want ice cream!"he snaps

"Hey speak for yourself"my daughter snaps at her brother. Then turns to me "can I have strawberry please with chocolate sauce"

"Sure sweetie"

I get up and order the twins favourite ice cream before receiving them and going back to the table where they were waiting.

"Thanks"Cameron mumbles taking his from my hand.

"I know you're upset. It's the only reason why you are getting away with this attitude"

"I'm just confused"he stumps down.

"Why can't you guys just be four"I sink back to my seat.

"Because our mum is an Ace wolf and our father is an Alpha. Apparently we were born to be smartass"he replies.

"And pains on my ass. Also don't say ass!"

"You just said ass twice"he points out.

"I had a stressful day. I'm allowed to say it"

"You think I didn't?"

"Look I can't go in to depth about it. Think of it like you're too young to know the full story. I'm not ready to tell you gets about it. I will tell you the PG and less messy version. You cool with it?"

"As long as it is the truth"he shrugs.

"I'm from this pack. Redwood has been my pack from birth. It was great at first. But then something just changed and it become a nightmare. My family just disappeared and nothing was going great. Many people were mean to me because I was different maybe? My brother and I didn't get along so people started to treat me wrong"

"Why?"

"I hid the truth from him. He blamed me. He was hurting and I didn't see that because I was busting thinking I was saving him. Protecting him from pain but I recently realised that I was just aiding the pain. He started to act like he hated me and others believed he did so they tried to treat me horribly so they get in the good books with Tom. Tom however didn't know about this."I paused.

"Mummy if it makes you sad. You don't have to tell us"Lily says softly.

"No I have to tell you guys"I took a deep breathe and the continued.

"I knew Calvin since I was a little girl. I never really spoken to him but he had always been kind to me. He was uncle Tom's best friend so he was always around. Five years ago Calvin and I got to...um.. know each other better. Just one night. It was a special night because we found out we were soulmates"

"Soulmates?"both asked in unison.

"Two people who share the same soul. Perfect Match. Other half of each other blah blah blah. Anyways Calvin was in a bad place. He was stressed so he said that we couldn't be together. I knew that it was time for me to leave"

"You left because of him?"

"No."I denied straightaway.

"I left because I felt trapped. I couldn't be who I wanted to be if I had stayed. I couldn't be the person who I was meant to be. I couldn't be Charlotte Jone. I had to find myself. I was relying on my mate and that was a mistake. You can't be with someone when you don't know who you are. I left to be who I wanted to be" I said.

I pulled them in my arms and cuddled them.

"He didn't want us, did he?"Cameron asked.

"He didn't know"I reply softly.

"When I left. I didn't know I was pregnant. When I found out, I wasn't ready to tell him. As mouths went on I convinced myself that I was protecting you guys from pain. I didn't want him to reject you guys. I didn't want him to let you down but now I know I was wrong because he loves you guys so much. I'm so so sorry"

I hugged them tighter and felt the tears slipping down my cheeks.

Cameron soft hands touched my face. He held my head up.

"Don't cry mama. I know you thought you were doing the right thing"

"Yeah mummy. We forgive you."

Suddenly my shoulders felt lighter. I kiss them both and hug them tightly.

"I love you two so much, it hurts"I whisper to them.

"We can feel the love ma"my son crows out.

"No seriously ma. You hugging to hard"he breathes.

I chuckle and lighten my hug. Not ready to let them go.

------

By the time we reached home, it was dark out. As soon as we walked in the house, Calvin rushed to us.

"Where were you guys? I was worried"he pulled the twins in to hugs.

"We are okay dad. We just went out for ice cream"Cameron says

Silence. Calvin gaze flashes to me. His eyes widen. I just shrugged. He turns back to our son and whispers.

"What?"

"We know you're our dad. The jigs up buddy"Lily responses.

I saw that Calvin's eyes were getting teary so I decided to give them time. I walked to my temporary room and got ready for bed. After the day I had...I need a long ass sleep.

What felt like two hours, I felt a presence in the room which woke me up. The bed dripped on one side. I knew who it was. I sensed him before I smelt him. His strong arm wrapped around me causing me to stiffen.

I didn't say anything. I just laid there waiting for him to say something. Anything. I didn't have up wait for long because he opened his mouth and whispered.

"Thank you"

Confused, I turn to him. He had to let me go. I held myself up on my elbows

"For what?"I asked staring at his hazel eyes.

Even in the dark, I could see the golden flake on them.

"For telling them"he answered.

"Didn't really have a choice. My brother suddenly became a big mouth"

Calvin gave me a confused look so I told him everything. He blinked couple of times and laughed.

"Why are you laughing?"

"You know he done that purposely right?"he replies. "When have you ever known Tom to be a loose lips"

Thinking back I could the answer. I didn't have to say anything for Calvin to know I got the answer.

"That dick!"I laughed.

"He means well"Calvin says pulling me in his arms again.

"You done great Charlotte. Thank you for giving me them"

I looked up at him and he looked back at me. Something flashed between us that second. I couldn't explain it. His eyes heated and for couple of seconds we just stared at each other, breathing the same air. His eyes dropped to my lips like they had before. He licked his own before looking back to my eyes, as if asking something. He must have got his answer because he lowered his head and his lips touched mine.

At first it was soft. He sucked my bottom lips, gently biting it, teasing me. I opened my mouth and his tongue fell into it. He pulled my tongue sucking it. That soft innocent kiss turned hungry and desperate.

We were at each other throats. Rubbing on each other. My hands went to his chest under his shirt. I touched his hard worked abs. I moaned and he groaned before pulling away. We were both breathing loudly. Our eyes not leaving each other.

"I want you"he whispers.

I want you. Those three words were the same words I wanted him to say to me 5 years ago. I was hungry for it but instead I got I'm rejecting you. Something just snapped and I pushed him off me. Getting out of bed to make a space between us.

What was I thinking kissing him? I'm the same innocent naive girl. Falling for his trap. I can't do this to myself. Not again.

Shame me once, shame on you. Shame me twice, shame on me.

I didn't realise I said that out loud before Calvin "What?"

I repeated myself again.

"Last time this happened. I was rejected the next morning. Treated like trash. A whore"the words came out bitterly, tasted bitter too.

Something moved in his face and he made a move to get closer to me.

"No"I didn't even know I was crying.

I raised my teary eyes to him. I was going to be embarrassed about this later but for now I wanted him to see my pain. Truly see my pain.

"You really hurt me Cal. Truly."I whispered.

"I'm sorry Char"

I shook my head. A humourless chuckle escaped my mouth. "Aren't we all"

"You see Calvin. I had this big idea of my mate. That when I found him he was going to save me from that hell. That I was going to have a friend who stood by me other than Amy off course. I was planning to find my mate and lived a happy life."I chuckle.

He doesn't say anything so I continue. "I was so naive to think that. Believe it or not, I'm grateful you rejected me. It done me good. It made me realise that I couldn't depend on others to save me or make me happy. I couldn't find myself within someone else. I'm glad you rejected me because I now know my worth. I'm more than a one night hook up. I got family. Best friends who would die for me and I, them. Kids. I needed that night. Even though it was a slap on the face, it woke me up to face reality. It made me stronger Calvin. It gave me my babies. It gave me a realise to live. So I guess I should say thank you"

"I never meant to hurt you."he whispers

"But you did anyway" I say looking at him in the eye. "You kicked me when I was already down"

"I never knew about you getting bullied. Charlotte...I'm so so sorry. If I had known I would have done something about it"

"You knew there was a problem. Deep down you knew but you turned a blind eye."I snapped.

He hang his head not replying.

"You wouldn't have done anything because I was this weak fat bitch that everyone liked to hate"

"Don't you say that about yourself!"he snaps at me.

"WHY THE FUCK NOT? YOU REJECTED ME BECAUSE I WAS FAT!"I yell.

Calvin looked like I punched him in the gut.

"Is that what you think?"he softly asked me.

"isn't it?"

"I didn't reject you because I thought you were fat."he said with disgust and disbelief laced in his voice.

"THEN WHAT WAS THE FUCKING REASON?"

"I WAS PROTECTING YOU!"he shouts back.

Confused. I reeled back.

"Protecting me from who?"I asked in a quiet voice.

"Me"

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Sorry for the missed errors x