I have been pacing in the living for couple of hours now debating with myself.

You see the right thing to do is go and visit my brother now that he is out of coma. Have a nice family reunion, tell him I forgive and allow him to get to know his nephew and niece as well as me. The new me. That is my good, sensible and probably right side speaking.

On the other side, my stubborn, lying, coward side is telling me to do what I am great at. What I literally have an A star on which is to run away. Go back to moonlight pack and stay there.

I packed my bags and spoke to my pack. I could see that Cole was a bit disappointed in me but he tries not to show it. Mi na and Dylan were cool with it, Dylan even offered to drop me there but I declined.

Cole being disappointed in me cut deep. I don't think he truly cares about me training Red wood. I know that my groups knows what to focus on and Dylan offered to take them in his group but I know they're probably spilt them into different groups.

Cole was disappointed because he believed that I should tell Calvin about the twins. I knew he got the chance to get to know Calvin and even happened to like him. Not going to lie, the childish side of me sees this as betrayal. He hasn't said much but I could just tell. For the past few days, he has been hinting that I should let it slip about the twins but he doesn't know how difficult and complicated this shit got.

So I'm ducking out. Without telling my best friend because I can't have her disappointed with me too. I know she wants me to tell Tom that I'm alive but I can't face him. I forgive him. I do. And I'm so glad he's awake but I just can't face him.

She's just gonna have to get over it. I wrote both of them letters. I gave them to Mi na and told her to give it to them in few days when I am far away from them. In Amy's letter, I reminded her to not tell Calvin and Tom about me being Blair. The last thing I want is both to visit me.

"Mama is Liam coming back with us?"my son asks me.

I zone back to reality. I shake my head and walk to my son who is sitting on the couch staring up at me whilst I pace.

"No sweetie. He's going to come back in couple of weeks"I tell him.

"I'm going to miss here"Lily says pouting.

"Me too. Mama I don't wanna go" Cameron's voice is breaking as he says them making me feel even more shit.

"We have to."I reply.

"But why?"he sulks.

-but why indeed. Love that boy. Asks the right question-

I ignore both of them and before placing on my perfect smile.

"Come on. Let's go"

I walk towards the door, grabbing what is left of our things since I already packed most of our stuff in the car already.

It's good bye. I'm never going to come back. No matter what.

I needed to come back. It was something that I needed to do. Redwood always gave me a bitter feeling whenever I thought of it but this trip helped me gain that closure I needed to. I kicked my biggest bully's ass. I earn the respect of most of the pack. I can't believe I'm going to say this but I truly enjoyed my time here. Now when I think of Redwood, I would think of good thoughts.

My mind slowly slips to Calvin. His smiles, grins and even his brooding looks. All I would miss. Calvin has shown a different side to him this trip. I have seen that he could be sweet, humble and amazing. I know he could be a good father from what I have seen. I just can't allow myself to get hurt again.

-are you protecting yourself or your kids-

Both.

-hmm-

Ignore.

I sit in the driver sit when I place the twins in their car seat and just sit there. I take a deep breath and accept that what I'm doing is probably not the right them but it's just what I'm going to do.

I start the car and get to driving back to the moonlight pack. A pack that welcomed me with open hand, shown me love, respect and kindness without even knowing me. A pack where I found a family in. It might not be home but it is a place that I love and loves me. A place where I feel safe.

----------

Calvin's pov

It had been a long night for Calvin. Just few hours ago he spent time with Blair and her children. The thought of those three bought a smile to his face. He felt like he belonged with them for some odd reason. He had taken a liking to the children and even their mother.

He had respected her as a woman, a fighter and a mother. His heart warm at the thought she had raised the twins alone. He couldn't understand how one can leave his children. At first he thought she was strange. He couldn't connect with her nor understand her. There was something about her that was just off, I guess part of him still believe that. He knew his gut was trying to tell him something but he didn't know what.

He had seen her with her children around the town and his heart melts at the sight of them. He would never admit to anyone but he found himself staring at her at time, there was a familiar feeling to her. One he is not sure about. He had grown to care about her by just staring at her, watching her interact with her friends and her children. The twins were great. Sometimes acted as if they were much older than they were. He didn't know their exact age but they couldn't be older than 4.

Calvin shook his head and enters the hospital room that his best friend is in holding two coffee cups for both Amy and him. Both him and Amy haven't left his bed side since they heard he was wake.

He was wake alright but he hasn't said anything to both of them. Calvin did give the couple private time but when he returned Amy was crying and Tom was facing away from him.

Calvin didn't want to get involved in their business so he didn't ask. Amy told him anyways. She told him that she told Tom that he forgave him and she was glad he was wake but Tom didn't reply.

Calvin wrapped his arm around her and told her that it would be alright. He just woke up and I guess he's trying to get his head in place. She nodded but didn't reply.

It has been 14 hours. He is happy that he's friend is alive and awake. Two things he has been praying for but seeing his friend lifeless eyes strikes a knife to his heart.

Calvin has been focus on his pains that he never seen Tom's. He knew he felt guilty about his sister leaving and never returning. Knife pressed to his heart and gut every time he heard her name.

Charlie. His mate. The one he rejected after spending the night with her. He couldn't remember much about that night but he felt like shit the next day. Leading her on, hurting her was the last thing he ever wanted to do. He knew Charlie leaving had nothing to do with Tom but him for rejecting her. Tom didn't know that his sister was Calvin mate. Every time he thought about that day, the more he felt guiltier because if he never got drink and slept with her, he wouldn't have rejected her so heartlessly the next day. Then maybe she wouldn't have left.

Tom and Calvin have been looking for her for months after disappears. Due to her never shifting, Tom believed she was dead. That made Calvin feel much shit. He tried to be there for Tom when he mourned for his sister but it was difficult to do so when Tom kept pushing him away. Calvin tried to spend as much time with his best friend and take care of him by cooking and cleaning after him. To this day he looked for his mate hoping and believing that she was still out there.

Everyday being around him not telling Tom the truth pained him. He felt like he deserved it. He felt like he was betraying his friend but it wasn't something he was willing to share.

For the longest time Calvin believed he was a coward, not worthy of his title. I guess some days he still does but for the last couple month he realised that he was the Alpha and that wasn't going to change. He needed to get his ass up and be a leader. A role he was born to fill. He called up Moonlight pack, a old alliance pack and ask them to come and train his pack whilst he trained to be an Alpha. Something he stopped at the age of 16.

Moonlight pack didn't disappoint and came with some of the strongest fighters and are helping his pack a lot. The pack has changed for the better the couple of last months and he was grateful for everyone he has helped him.

"Amy can you give us a sec"Calvin deep voice shook Amy to zone back in.

She doesn't say anything but nods. She gets up and walks out. The room was filled with silence. Neither of the men side anything. Calvin stares his best friend whilst Tom looks to the wall.

If telling the truth about Charlie's disappears would help Tom come back then so be it. This could be the end of their friendship but it was something important.

"I know you think Charlotte leaving is your fault"he starts.

Tom still looks away.

"The truth is. It's not. It's mine."

This makes Tom's gaze switch to Calvin fast. He still doesn't say anything but stares at him, waiting to continue.

Calvin didn't know why he was sharing this information now. Maybe it was because the only thing Tom has said since he woke up was his sister's name. Maybe because Calvin wanted to relieve the pent up guilt that both him and Tom had.

"I rejected her"

Tom gave Calvin a confused look then his eyes widened as if he finally understood what his best friend said. Tom's heart machine beeped faster and if possible it got louder and louder.

"Get"Tom starts in a choked whisper"out"

Calvin held his head up high and the guilt he thought would leave him didn't. It only expanded. Before Calvin could respectfully do what his old friend asks him to do, Amy slams back into the room.

Her eyes blasting with anger and disappointment. For a second Calvin thought she overheard what he said to Tom and that anger was directed at him but she walks in, slams the door shut and starts pacing.

"I can't believe she would do this. I can't believe she would just leave"Amy whispers to herself.

"Just when he wakes up"

Tom snaps his head towards her. His eyes widens.

"Charlie"he chokes out again "here"

This made Amy stop pacing and her head snapped back to Tom then him. She swallowed and nods. Almost feeling guilty as she betrays her longest friend.

Calvin stopped breathing just for a second, his heat slowed as he progressed what both Tom and Amy have been saying.

Charlotte was alive and here in his territory and he hasn't sensed her. He would have...right? He rejected her but she hadn't accepted so he would have been able to sense her.

"Not true. I would have sensed her"he managed to say.

"Charlie...here"Tom repeats.

"No she's not. I would have sensed her"

"You rejected her, you prick"she glares at her Alpha and Calvin gave her a look which she bends her head down in embarrassment and shame for snapping at her Alpha.

"You knew?"Tom snaps.

"Only for a couple of weeks. She only told me when she came back. I swear I didn't know before she left."

Charlotte was really here. How had he not known. Then everything just slapped him in the face.

*flashback one*

"He needs to be with his mate. It would help to wake him. If it makes Amy uncomfortable then maybe you shouldn't come back"Calvin remembers saying.

She look at the ceiling before replying

"I understand. I didn't think it was a crime to see an old friend"Looks at Amy when she says the last two words as if it was directed at her.

Amy's eyes widen as if something just flashed into her mind.

"Holy crap it's you!"she blurts out.

The other woman's eyes widen in panic settles in.

"BLAIR"She yelled.

Calvin was confused and truly believed the woman in front of him, although was very beautiful, was crazy.

"Yes ... Blair, I didn't notice you but now I do. You are an old friend of ...Tom ... who is my... mate"Amy replied awkwardly glancing at him then the woman.

"So I have heard"

Calvin always found this interact strange but never gave much thought to it. Perhaps he should have.

*flashback two*

Her face when she saw him that day in the fun fair. The panic was clear in her face.

"They don't know who their father is do they?"

He had thought he was so smart. It made so much sense to him that Tom was the twins father that day.

"They know a bit. Calvin I told them as much as I know"her voice breaks as she say this looking up at him.

How had he never realised this?

"Does Amy know?"

"Off course"she whispers embarrassed.

With guilt?

"She's acting rather friendly towards you. If I knew my mate had a kid with another man"he had growled.

Stupidly believing he had it all figured out. How wrong he had been. He knew this when her head snapped to him.

"What?"She choked out.

Confused as hell.

"Tom is the father. You must have got pregnant in the training camp you guys met at"

Stupid him. Tom was never the father. Yes he had similar features to Lily so some might mistake him to be his daughter if he held her. She was the female version of him. A younger version of ....damn.

"What?"He remembers her ask again.

"Fucking A"he mutters. "I can't believe Tom didn't tell me about this"

Stupid.

"No wonder Amy was giving him a hard time. I didn't understand then but now I do"

How had he ever thought this shit.

Damn damn damn. He now sees the relief followed by annoyance on her face that day. She was relieved that he hadn't realised her, sensed whom they belonged to...

"For the last time Calvin."She said through clenched teeth. "Tom and I didn't have that type of history"

It was his turn to be confused because he replies with 'what?'

"Tom and I were never like that. We didn't you know..never. His not the father of my kids Okay?"She snapped.

He's not the father of my kids okay... I wouldn't lie about something like this.

But she had lied. Everyday. Every day since she had been here. Since the twins had been born.

*flashimages*

Cameron and Lily eyes flashes to him. They have the same eyes as him. Similar behaviourism.

The panic look in Blair's face when he first saw her.

The angry he saw in Cole's eyes when he first met him.

The saddened face of Amy at this moment.

*flashvoices*

They know a bit. Calvin I told them as much as I know.

He's not the father of my kids okay!

I wouldn't lie about this.

Charlie...here

You rejected her, you prick!

I can't believe she would just leave.

Charlie...here

She would just leave.

Every thing seemed to just snap back. He didn't know what to feel for a second. The relief he had felt to hear his old friend is awake. The love and calmness he felt when he spent time with her and the twins. All gone with a click of a finger. Reality hit him hard and almost physically pushed him back couple steps. The only thing he had felt at the moment of times was the only thing he knew to feel. Something so familiar. Something he felt for years but not for a long time.

Anger.

His eyes flashed red and within a second he was out of the room. Leaving Amy to gasp and Tom to stare into thin air confused. He slowly turned his head to look at his mate.

"Long story"she shares sheepishly tapping his hands.

---------

Charlotte POV

It was like every tree was telling me that I was a coward and just because I had lost weight and looked like myself again or because I can fight like a champion or am one of most powerful wolf to ever... I'm still that. A big fat .

Before I had an excuse. I wasn't telling Calvin about the twins because I thought he would reject them like he rejected me. But I had seen the truth last night.

He won't. He would never leave them. He would never reject them. He might have rejected me but he would never abandon his children. I stopped the car.

"Mama why did you stop the car?" Cameron asked.

"We are going back honey"

"Back to Redwood pack?"Lily says in a soft yet excited tone.

"Yeah baby. We are going back home"I reply with a soft smile.

I start the car again, getting ready to do a U turn when a figure slams into the front of the car. All I could see is red.

Red eyes piercing down at me. ACE wolf or not, I almost pissed my pants.

"Going somewhere Charlotte?"