Give me love like never before

Cause lately I've been craving more

Chapter 23 ~ Give Me Love

Scar Patterson

It took me forever to figure out what I was going to get Jamie for Christmas.

It needed to be something valuable, something he would remember for the rest of his life. I'd considered getting him one of the latest phones or tablets, but at the same time, I didn't want to seem like too much of an emotionally attached person by making such a big investment. As a result, I spent most of winter break trying to find the perfect gift for Jamie.

Eventually, I decided on getting him his own house key. It may have sounded like I was taking our relationship a bit too far, but I had figured that Jamie needed his own key if he was going to be staying with me.

So after I had my house key copied, I took a trip down to a local jewelry store that specialized in personalized jewelry. It was pretty busy, considering that other men were shopping for their significant others for Christmas.

"Yes, how may I help you?" The lady had asked me with big, brown, curious eyes.

"Uh," I had fished out the key from my back pocket and placed it on the counter, "I was wondering if you could maybe personalize this for me? Like maybe change it into a necklace or something."

The woman gave me dead serious eyes. "Sorry, we don't do keys."

Normally, I would've left it at that, but there were no other places in town that could do this sorta stuff. "Please," I pleaded with her. "It's for Jamie." I said it like she was supposed to know who he was, and immediately obey my command.

She raised an eyebrow. "Is Jamie your girlfriend?"

I sighed, not wanting to go through this. "Jamie is my boyfriend." It was the first time that I had ever called Jamie my boyfriend out loud. It felt weird to let the word roll off my tongue, but I didn't mind it.

Her brown eyes had lit up almost instantly. "Oh!" She exclaimed as color rushed to her cheeks. "That's so sweet."

I raised a brow. "And it wouldn't be sweet if Jamie was a girl?"

She shrugged. "I guess it still would be, but getting jewelry for a girl seems to always be the easy way out for guys. They fail to do something creative, for once. But I've never heard of getting jewelry for a boy, so I think that's ridiculously cute."

I smiled back at her. "I just hope he likes it."

"He will, don't worry." She grabbed the key from the counter and inspected it under a scrutinizing gaze. "Do you want anything engraved on it?"

"Yeah, actually, I want my name on it. It's Scarlet."

"Scarlet," she repeated as she ripped out a sticky note from the stack on the counter, scribbled my name on it, and attached it to the key. "Anything else?"

"Don't make it too girly. He hates stuff like that."

The lady's lips twisted into an amused smirk. "So I'm guessing you're the girly one?"

I couldn't believe she had said that. "What? No! Do I look girly to you?"

She shrugged carelessly. "One of you has to volunteer to be the girl, or else you're never going to get anything done." She sent me a suggestive wink before snatching the key from the counter and waving it in the air. "This will be done by tomorrow. Come back any time you'd like to pick it up."

"Thank you," I told her before leaving the shop.

The next few days were filled with Jamie constantly pressing me about his present. He obviously didn't have the patience to wait until Christmas, and I found myself becoming eager to know what he got me.

So when Christmas came around, I was more than excited.

We had this family tradition of spending the whole day cooking dinner, getting dressed in nice clothes, and opening our presents at night. That way, we were able to carry on the Christmas spirit throughout the whole day.

Fortunately, my mom was sober (for the most part) to cook dinner with the help from Amy, Jillian and the twins who had insisted they needed to assist. Meanwhile, Jamie and I spent the day getting the house cleaned up for pictures and such.

At around four, we got an unexpected visitor which turned out to be Jillian's boyfriend, Ake.

He definitely looked like the rebellious time with spiky hair that was obviously dyed jet black, and piercing amber eyes that seemed to be staring into your soul. He was dressed in loose fitting jeans, a white tee, and a leather jacket, and he seemed to be wearing the same I'm-too-cool-for-this expression on his face.

Jamie shook his hand with a fake smile on his face. "It's very nice to meet you, Blake."

Ake gave him a cold, stern look with his golden colored eyes. "It's Ake," he corrected him.

Jamie smiled again. "Yeah, I'm not calling you that."

Ake rolled his eyes and sighed. "Whatever, dude." He eyes lit up when he caught sight of Jillian and he pushed past both of us - rather rudely - to get to her. He wrapped his arms around her small little waist and pulled her into a tight hug. "Hey, Jilly bean!"

Jamie's eyes widened in horror. "Jilly bean?" He repeated with exasperation. "I think I'm going to throw up."

I watched as Jillian and Ake began to swallow each other's faces. "I think it's cute."

"And I think it's cheesy," he spat. It was pretty obvious that he didn't like Ake, and that probably had to do with the fact that he had such a ridiculous name. "I really hope he doesn't stay around for long. He looks like a douche."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Then he's perfect for her."

It took a while for Jamie to register the underlying meaning behind my words, but when he finally did, he groaned. "You know she's only mean to you because she cares about me, right? Just like how I'm probably going to make Blake's life a living hell. Deep down, she likes you, I'm sure."

"Then it has to be buried beneath a lot of hate, because I honestly don't think she would even spit on me if I was on fire."

It was true, and Jamie knew it. Being overly protective of a sibling, I could understand, but Jillian's version of over protectiveness was borderline disrespectful. I didn't know why I had to endure her constant insults and put-me-downs, considering I had been the one to relieve her of her foster situation.

But maybe this was all a test from the big guy up there. Maybe He wanted to see if I was really committed to Jamie, so committed that I was willing to suffer through Jillian's antics. If so, then I was damn well committed.

"So, are we going to open these presents or what?" Jillian called out once she was finished making out with her boyfriend. She tossed her wavy ponytail over her shoulder and placed her hands on her waist, where Amy's old holiday dress hugged her tiny frame.

The twins perked up at Jillian's question. "Yeah, can we open them now?" Bryan asked me with pleadng eyes with Ryan peeping over his shoulder with just as much excitement.

The more time I spent with the twins, I realized it was getting easier to tell them apart. At first glance, Ryan and Bryan looked identical with the same long, shaggy, chestnut colored hair and the same big, brown, doe eyes. Every other feature from the slight upturn of their noses to the freckles dotting their cheeks were exactly the same. The difference, though, was that Ryan's eyebrows seemed to end abruptly, like he had shaved half of it off.

Other than that, it was their personalities that stood out. Although they were both energetic and caring about others, despite their difficult upbringing, Bryan was more outgoing than Ryan. He was usually the one to start conversations, while Ryan followed in Bryan's footsteps.

According to Jamie, the twins were abandoned shortly after they were born and were put into an orphanage. Since then, they've been hopping from foster home to foster home and finally ended up with Janice, who was also Jamie and Jillian's foster parent. Because of that, they'd never had normal childhood experiences like watching G movies, going to Disneyland, and celebrating Christmas.

"Sure we can," my mother chimed in just as she strolled into the family room with a wine glass filled with eggnog, and plopped onto the sofa. "I'm not going to live forever, kids, so hurry up. I have places to be."

By places, we all knew she meant the bar.

My hand traveled down to Jamie's, where I interlocked my fingers with his and led him to one of the sofas as everyone gathered around the beautifully lit Christmas tree.

"I'll go first since my presents are probably the best," Jillian announced to everyone before kneeling to the floor to retrieve several wrapped presents from under the tree. She sent me a forced smile as she handed me the first one.

I lifted a brow. "Seriously? You got me a present?"

Her smile remained plastered on her face. It looked exactly like Jamie's creepy smile, except I had learned to love Jamie's smiles. Jillian ... not so much.

"Of course," she drew out in a very fake and very exaggerated voice.

I tried to hold in my laughter as I tore open the wrapped package. Once all the wrapping paper was discarded of, I was left with a bright pink cylindrical tube-like flexible thing. "What is this?"

Jillian's smile grew wider. "What does it look like?"

Bryan, who had conveniently taken a seat on the floor, spoke up. "Maybe it's a really cool toy! You can use it to attach the Hot Wheels on so that they can cross the lava. He turned to face his brother, as if looking for confirmation. "Because you don't want the cars going into the lava!"

I was pretty sure my eyebrows were sewn together in a straight line, because I had no idea what this was supposed to be or why Jillian had the need to give it to me.

That was when Jamie burst into a series of laughters at my side as he leaned in closer to me and whispered in my ear, "It's a toy." He gestured towards the twins who seemed to be genuinely interested in the pink object.

It took me a moment to figure out what he meant, but when I finally did, I freaked out. "What?!" Suddenly realizing the nature of this particular gift, I released it as if it had burned me, and allowed it to fall to the floor. One of the twins picked it up and began to play with it.

Jillian found this to be completely hilarious because she had an arm draped around her boyfriend for support, in case her laughter got so out of hand that she couldn't stand any more. "That was golden! Your face! Oh my gosh. Why didn't I record this?"

My mom cleared her throat rather loudly. "Let's move on to the next gift," she attempted to change the subject, probably to save me from further humiliation.

Everyone else's gifts were great. My mom got a necklace from Jamie and Jillian. Amy and I collaborated and bought her a new set of pans, so she wouldn't dwell over the thought of cooking our dad's favorite foods on her old pans. The twins received a new Hot Wheels set from all of us, because we learned they were obsessed with cars, as well as a race car video game for my Xbox.

Ake gave Jillian a mixtape which - according to her - was really deep and really sweet, but it only made me believe Jamie's original suspicions about him being a douche. She also received a t-shirt that read "I'm a bitch" from me, jewelry from Jamie, and makeup from Amy.

I got Amy a few nifty and girly office accessories for her desk. Jamie got her a pillow that plays soothing sounds and Jillian gave her provocative clothing, which I did not approve of.

After everyone opened their gifts, it was finally Jamie's turn and I was scared out of my mind about what he would think of his present. His sister gave him a tie, which she insisted needed to be used along with the sex toy, and Amy got him a pack of cigarettes. They were things that he would use, maybe, but my gift needed to be the best.

"Here's my gift for you," I said to him with a small hopeful smile as I handed him the tiny box.

Jamie raised an inquiring brow at me before tearing away the wrapping paper and lifting the lid on the box. His mouth fell open almost instantly and he sucked in a small breath of air as he gazed down at the present. "Is this a key to the house?" He questioned, but he was already pulling the key out of its secured position and examining it. "And your name is on it. Scar, this is amazing!"

"Yeah," I said, trying to maintain my composure. "I figured you'd probably need one."

An elated grin curved his mouth as he placed the chain attached to the key around his neck, still gawking at the sight of it. "Thank you so much," he breathed out in a bare whisper as he threw his arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace. Just as I was about to pull away from the hug, he whispered into my ear, "Your present is upstairs."

Jamie released me and focused his attention on the growing conversation, leaving me to be completely confused as to what he meant by upstairs.

When the lady from the jewelry store told me that one of us needed to be the "girl" so we could stuff done, it got me thinking. We were already comfortable with each other's bodies and I was sure that Jamie was more than ready, but I wasn't sure if I was ready. I had never been with a guy, or a girl, in that way before, so I didn't want to go through that humiliating moment again.

But part of me wanted to.

I didn't want to go into the New Year as a virgin, after everyone my age had practically lost it years ago. It was because of my irrational thinking, I had bought some accessories on my way home from the jewelry store - just in case I decided to go through with it.

The sudden sound echoing throughout the house snapped me out of my thoughts. Everyone had already disbanded in order to grab some dinner, so I took it upon myself to answer the door, wondering who could possibly be visiting us on Christmas night.

When I threw the front door open, I was completely surprised to see Trey on the other side. The soft yellow porch light allowed me to see his brown skin, his infamous baseball cap and the slight smile on his face. "Hey, dude."

Did he seriously think he could come to my house and casually say "hey" as if he didn't just steal everything from me? "Why are you here?" I spat bitterly.

Trey released a long sigh. "I came to say sorry."

I snorted. "Sorry? For what, exactly? It's not like you did anything to me, right?"

Trey stared at me for a long time before sighing again, and staring up at the night sky in search of an acceptable answer. "I'm sorry, okay. I'm a dick for sleeping with Francesca behind your back. I'm a dick for making fun of you. I'm a dick for not being your best friend, Scar, and I love being your best friend. If that means that I have to accept the fact that you like dicks, then okay. I accept it."

I narrowed my gaze slightly as I caught sight of the gift bag clutched tightly in his hands. "What's that?"

"Oh!" He exclaimed, almost completely forgetting about it. "I got you something for Christmas." He held the gift bag up for me to grab hold of it. I gave him a skeptical look as I peered into the bag. "It's just a few video games that you wanted, and some porn videos."

"Porn videos?" I questioned, suddenly becoming interested.

Trey cleared his throat. "Gay porn videos."

I felt a slight pang in my chest and my lips curled into a smile. I was flattered - not because of the gay porn, but because Trey went out of his way to buy me gay porn, because he thought I would be in to that. "Thank you," I said to him. "But I'm not gay, or not in the traditional sense, I guess. I'm not attracted to guys at all. Jamie is just different, and I don't know why he is, but I can't help but feel things for him."

Trey raised a dark bushy brow. "So you're not into dicks?"

I smiled even more. "Not into dicks."

"So, you still like boobs and stuff?"

Classic Trey. "I still like boobs and stuff," I repeated.

Trey released a sigh and wiped the back of his hand across his forehead to emphasize his relief. "Okay, awesome. Do you want me to take that back then? I'll return it and get you something else."

A smile broke out on my face as I gained a tighter grip around the gift bag. "No, I'm keeping them. They might help me if I need any, uh, guidance."

Trey crinkled his nose in disgust, which made me immediately regret my decision to share that information with him. I opened my mouth to take it back, but Trey beat me to it. "Wait," he said. "Are you planning to do it, like, tonight?"

If I had to look at my reflection in a mirror, I knew my cheeks would be bright red. "Uh, I don't know. I thought ... But ... I don't..."

"You have to tell me about it," he insisted which made me pull my brows together in confusion. "I told you about my first time, so you have to tell me about yours, even if it's with a dude. Well, not in full details because that's just ... yeah."

I simply rolled my eyes at him and opened the door wider. "Wanna come in? We made dinner."

His eyebrows shot up as if he was surprised that I had invited him in. Even I was surprised. Trey did the ultimate betrayal a friend could do by sleeping with Francesca, but that could easily be overlooked since I was with Jamie now. Ever since I forgave Jamie for sleeping with his boss, I realized that I generally became a forgiving person.

Trey stepped into the house and patted my back as he did so. "Thanks, man. I'm starving." He didn't waste any time in strolling into the kitchen and grabbing a plate.

I shook my head in disbelief, but switched my attention to a hand tugging on my leg. I glanced down at Bryan who was, as expected, attached to his brother's side. "Thank you Jamie's friend for the cool cars."

I smiled at him. "It's no problem, and you can call me Scar if you want to."

Ryan scrunched his face in distaste. "No, because Scar is the name of the lion that killed Simba's daddy." Bryan nodded in agreement.

"Okay, then," I said for lack of anything better to say.

The twins flashed me a quick smile before darting to the kitchen, and Jamie appeared at my side with his arms folded against his chest and a smug grin in his face. "They love you, you know."

I glanced back at the twins and smiled, then returning my attention to Jamie and his beautiful blue eyes. "I think this is the perfect time to disappear for a little bit," I suggested with a suggestive brow raised.

"Right," he agreed, snaking his fingers through mine. "I still have to give you your present." Not wanting to waste any more time, he dragged me up the stairs and I allowed him to. I tried to get my mind prepared for what was about to happen and how I intended to carry out whatever was going to happen.

Once we were in my room, I closed the door behind me and pressed my back against it while taking a deep breath. This was actually going to happen, with Jamie. I sucked in a few large breaths and tried to relax my mind. When I was sure that I was ready, I slipped my shirt over my head and tossed it to the floor.