Lately her face seems slowly sinking

Wasting, crumbling like pastries

Chapter 17 ~ The A Team

Scar Patterson

A loud clanging noise originating from downstairs made me jump in my sleep. I had the pleasure of not experiencing a home invasion before, but I had watched way too many crime TV shows to brush off a possible break-in.

Tearing the sheets away from me and scrambling out of bed in the pitch black darkness, I inched towards my bedroom closet where I grabbed onto my baseball bat.

When Dad died, I rebelled against everything he wanted me to be by trying to become a different person. Legally changing my name was one of them, cutting my hair was another, and burying any of the hobbies I picked up when he was alive was the last. Of those hobbies were playing baseball and playing the piano.

However, completely letting go the remnants of him was out of the question which was why my baseball bat still stood in my closet and I had my piano moved to the attic.

Once I gained a tight grip on the bat, I slowly eased out of my bedroom, being extra careful not to make any noise. My fingers felt the edges of the walls to guide me to my sister's room which was just across the hall. I pushed the door open gently, not bothering to flick on the light, and inched my way to her bed. I knew waking her would frighten her, but there was a damn intruder in the house!

I poked her shoulder. "Amy."

She didn't even budge.

I tried again, jabbing my finger deeper into her flabby flesh. "Amy."

Nothing.

Rolling my eyes, I let out a much needed over-exaggerated sigh. I fisted my hands into her comforter and tugged it with all of my strength, causing her to roll out of the sheets and fall to the floor. She woke up almost instantly and she stared at me with wild eyes. "What the fu-"

I clasped a hand over her mouth and shushed her. "There's no time to curse. There's someone in the house."

"What? Like a burglar?"

I nodded, though I doubted she could see it in the darkness. "We have to see if Mom's okay and we'll call the police."

"My cell phone is downstairs!" She cried out.

"Idiot," I muttered under my breath as I felt around for her arm and helped her stand to her feet. "Go to my room and get my phone on my bed. I'm going downstairs."

Amy clutched onto my arm, holding me back. "No! Are you insane? What if he has a gun?"

I yanked my arm out of her grasp. "It's what Dad would've done," I informed her and that seemed to shut her up.

Feeling my way through the darkness and hoisting the baseball bat over my shoulder, I slowly descended the stairs in a more-than-silent manner. I could see light coming from the kitchen and thought how stupid it'd be if the burglar came to steal our food.

Regardless, I kept my composure and put on my brave face as I descended the last step, cautiously heading towards the kitchen. As soon as a figure came into view, I raised my bat over my head and prepared to charge towards it but stopped myself when I noticed the figure had long brown hair. "Mom?"

Her oceanic eyes snapped to mine almost instantly and her lips peeled back into an unsettling smile. "Scarlet, honey!"

Why was she calling me Scarlet? We all agreed when I had my name changed that we would never mention that name again.

I took in the sight of all the smashed dishes on the counter and the pans spread all over the kitchen in an unbelievably messy fashion. "What are you doing? Mom, it's five in the morning. Why are you up?"

Her eyes looked glassy, like she was in a different place. "What are you talking about, Scarlet? I always wake up this early to make your father breakfast. I just can't seem to find the pan I always use..." She grabbed onto fistfuls of her hair and frantically looked around the kitchen.

My brows knitted together as I lowered the bat and moved closer to her. "Mom," I said in a stern voice. "You threw that pan away because it reminded you of him too much. Dad's not here. He's gone, remember?"

She gaze me a puzzled look before she broke out into laughter. "Don't be ridiculous, Scarlet. Your father is in the bathroom getting ready for work. And why are you not dressed? If you don't put on your uniform, he's not going to drop you to baseball practice."

What was going on? "Mom!" I yelled at her as I stepped into the kitchen, my eyes growing wide as soon as I saw all the empty alcohol bottles scattered across the linoleum floor. "You're hallucinating."

She scoffed. "Sure I am, sweetie."

Amy was soon at my side, staring wildly at the kitchen mess. "What's going on?" My cell phone was clutched tightly in her hands as she gave me a questioning look.

"She drank too much," I answered simply, which seemed to be the answer to everything lately when it came to my mom. We all dealt with my father's death in different ways, but my mom's coping method seemed to be the most life threatening. If it wasn't because she drank herself unconscious, then it was because she didn't fully function as a parent anymore. "I'll take her to the hospital."

"Sure, I'll come with."

"No," I protested quickly as I grabbed onto her arm. "You're going to school."

Amy glanced down at my grip on her arm as if I touched her in an inappropriate way. We stood in silence for what felt like forever before she narrowed her gaze at me. "She's my mother too."

"And you're my little sister, so I'm not letting you skip school."

Her pale grey eyes seemed to have grown more colorless. She motioned to my cell phone in her hands. "I saw the text messages. You're going to see him, aren't you?"

I bit down on my lower lip, suddenly feeling all giddy and warm inside. As far as she was concerned, Jamie and I were just friends. There was no way I was going to tell her that I had certain feelings for a boy. Although I knew Amy wouldn't think anything of it, I would like to delay that conversation as much as possible. "No," I lied easily. "I'm going to drop Mom off at the hospital."

She narrowed her eyes so much that I couldn't see her pupils anymore. "Will that be before or after you make out with Jamie?"

I groaned. "Amy."

She held up my phone to eye level and began to read one of the text messages. "To Jamie, From Scar: I had so much fun at the club on Saturday. Maybe we can do that again sometime? Well minus the whole Max thing. To Scar, From Jamie: Yeah, I so wanna taste that sweet cream."

I swore my eyeballs popped out of their sockets and rolled onto the floor. "No! He wasn't making a sexual innuendo or anything. Sweet Cream is a name of a drink! Amy, I swear to God. Jamie and I are just good pals, that's all."

She pursed her lips, showing that she obviously didn't believe me. Her eyes landed on my phone again. "To Jamie, From Scar: My bed feels so lonely without you."

I snatched my phone away from her and stuck it into my back pocket. "That means nothing." There was no use arguing at this point. Amy already knew.

She drew her delicate brows together and folded her arms against her heavy chest. "You wanna know what it means? That my big brother has been getting some tail and didn't tell me about it."

"We haven't done anything yet."

She pointed an accusing finger at me. "Aha! So you confess? You are seeing him."

Now I was really wishing there was a burglar in the house so he could shoot me. In a desperate attempt to switch the subject, I stepped into the kitchen and began to drag my mother to the Jeep, against her pleas. "I'm leaving now," I told Amy. "And you better go to school." As we entered the garage, I could still hear Amy snickering that stupid evil laugh of hers.

**

After checking my mom in the hospital and hearing the doctors tell me they would prescribe her some medication but would also like to keep her overnight for observation, I headed over to Jamie's place. I didn't realize how much I missed him until I saw him sitting on his front steps with a plaid buttoned down shirt, a pair of tight skinny jeans and a black beanie almost falling off his head.

"Didn't think you'd actually show," he said as soon as he slid into the passenger seat. As soon as he closed the door behind him, the smell of an unknown cologne permeated the air. It was different than any other cologne he wore, and I sorta liked it.

I leaned closer to him. "Did you wear that cologne for me?"

Jamie gazed back at me with his beautiful clear blue eyes, and scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself, Patterson."

The drive to school was mostly a silent one. My mind was floating with possible conversation topics, but I couldn't bring myself to actually say them. Jamie shouldn't have been making me nervous like that, but he was. Just his presence beside me was enough to make my stomach twist and turn.

What bothered me the most was that he didn't even know it. He just sat there with his head in the heel of his hand and stared out the window like everything was normal. Like he had no idea how I must've been feeling inside.

Then I found myself laughing when I realized he really had no idea how I was feeling inside because I never told him. I wasn't even sure if I could put it into words. There was only one other time that I felt this same feeling and it was when I realized I loved Francesca.

But I couldn't possibly love Jamie. I had only known him for a week. It took me four months to fall in love with Francesca, and it should (at least) take twice the amount of time to fall in love with someone who I shared the same gender with.

"Hey," I said suddenly.

Jamie tore his attention away from the window and looked at me. "What?"

"Do you, uh, like me?" I had my eyes glued on the road, but I just knew that Jamie was smiling from ear to ear.

"No," he spat. "I just hang out with you, talk to you on the phone for endless hours and make out with you because I absolutely despise you."

I guess I set myself up for that one. "I know, I know. I just want to be sure that you're not gonna, like, betray me like Trey and Francesca."

He sighed heavily. "Yes, Scar. I like you and I'm not going to betray you."

I let my lips curve into a small grin as I refocused my attention on the road and sunk further into my seat, letting myself relax. We continued to sit in silence for the remaining duration of the drive but when we arrived at school and Jamie opened his door to get out, I grabbed onto his wrist.

"I know that Francesca will have told the whole school about us by now," I told him. "So, no matter what happens..."

Jamie began to laugh obnoxiously. "Scar, you make it sound like we're about to fight a battle or something."

I found myself laughing too. "I just want you to know that whatever happens in there, I still like you. So please be patient with me. I'm still getting used to this whole gay thing."

He stared at me for a long moment with a blank expression on his face and I really wished that I could read his mind to know what he was thinking. Just when I was about to come out and apologize for being such a sappy love story, his lips met mine in a soft, breathtaking kiss. My heart jumped so madly against my chest that I thought my ribs would break open any minute now. But they hung on for a couple moments to let my lips soften and mold together with his.

All too soon, he pulled away but just as quickly, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to mine, like he couldn't stand a second away from me. If so, then I definitely understood the feeling.

Jamie's hands gripped my waist, his slender fingers slightly digging into my skin. My hands found their way into his hair, which seemed to be a go-to move for me because I always loved hearing the slight growl he made when I grabbed his hair. He didn't even care that his beanie had fallen, or that we were in the middle of the school parking lot making out. It was as if there was no one else in the world except us.

Jamie must've sensed my vulnerability because he was pulling away from the kiss while still trying to kiss me. "Scar," he breathed between kisses. "We have..." He gently grazed my bottom lip between his teeth, then broke away from the kiss completely, "...school."

"Right." I was still breathing heavily from the heated kiss. "School."

His thumbs caressed my cheekbones as he planted one last kiss on my lips. Then with a flirtatious smile, he jumped out of the Jeep and started the long walk towards the school's front doors.

I trailed behind him with my eyes glued to the ground. Loud mingled voices surrounded us, growing louder by the second. I tried not to look at the disgusted faces of my peers, but I knew they were there. I had no idea how Jamie was able to saunter through the hallways with a smug grin on his face without having a single care in the world, because I was scared shitless. I didn't understand why it was anyone's business.

Suddenly, I wished that I wasn't the one who scored the championship goal because that meant people expected the best from me.

"Uh oh," I heard Jamie say as he stopped in his long strides.

"What? What is it?" I looked up to see what Jamie was referring to and almost had a heart attack when I saw my locker was covered in spray paint. I didn't even bother to read the graffiti, because I already had a pretty good idea of what it must've said.

Jamie rested a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I lied. "But can you not touch me right now?"

He retracted his hand and took a step away from me. "Sure."

As soon as I lifted my eyes to the crowd who surround my locker, I immediately recognized the traitors. Francesca stood with a manicured hand on her hip and a devious grin on her face, while Trey just stood there with a pitying look on his face.

"Is it true?" He asked me. "All this time when I thought you were simply pitying the guy, you were fucking him up the ass?"

I heard Jamie chuckle beside me, but I didn't think it was funny at all.

"No, it's not like that," I defended myself.

Trey's eyes grew wide. "So he was fucking you up the ass? Is that how you ended up in the hospital? He fucked you too hard?"

I wanted to punch him right there and then. "No! God, no. We're not together! We're just..." I glanced over my shoulder at Jamie to see that he was waiting to hear what excuse I would conjure up. Being perfect in the eyes of my peers wasn't worth losing Jamie. "...look, I can't explain it, all right? It just sorta happened."

It was as though he wasn't even listening to a word I was saying, because he added, "All those times in the locker room? You were checking us out this whole time? You dirty little fag."

I swallowed back the bile rising in my throat. I would kill myself before letting myself look at my teammates in a more-than-friendly way. Trey, of all people, should have known that. "No, you have it all wrong. I don't like guys. I just like Jamie and that's it."

Trey fell silent, staring at me with dark, skeptical eyes. His gaze switched to Jamie occasionally, but they always returned to me. "He is a guy."

Why did I even bother defending myself? They were close-minded, and it wasn't long ago when I was one of them. "Trey."

He huffed loudly and folded his arms across his toned chest. "You know, the team and I were thinking of making you captain because of how skilled you are. But now we've decided that we don't want a faggot to lead our team. It's not necessarily a good image when college scouts come to visit us."

He had to be kidding, right? I've been dreaming of a captain spot since I joined the team in freshman year. "Trey! I can still play football the same. I've still got the skills. I'm still the same person."

"Maybe," he said in a low, malicious tone. "But you like dick now, and that's not a good look for the Falcons." He shot daggers my way with his dark, intense eyes before whipping around and strutting back to Francesca's side, who carelessly draped an arm over his shoulder.

"No wonder you couldn't get it up for me, because this whole time you've been getting it up for boys." Francesca called out in a teasing voice, making everyone around her giggle. I even caught sight of a few cellphones who were recording the whole altercation. "It's a shame, though. I could have really showed you the time of your life."

I would like to think that my parents raised me to make the right decisions and I knew what I was about to do was going to be the dumbest thing that I would ever do, but I didn't care. All I knew was when I looked at Francesca, the feelings that I felt, they certainly weren't love.

With all of my anger and rage fueling my body, I launched myself towards the brunette and tackled her to the floor. The action took everyone by surprise, even me, but I was too blinded by my hatred for Francesca to care about whether she was a girl or not. The only thought in my mind was that someone had to pay for humiliating me in front of the whole school, and Francesca's grin was enough to do me in.

"You fucking bitch!" I bellowed loudly as my hands wrapped around her fragile neck. "This is all your fucking fault. If you would have fucking loved me, then this would have never fucking happened!" Her eyes were growing wide by the second and I could feel her struggling for air. It wasn't long before Jamie's arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, pulling me away from her.

"Scar, calm down. She's not worth it," he purred in my ear. His voice was so soft and smooth, making me want to actually believe that Francesca wasn't worth my wrath.

I released my hold on the brunette and allowed Jamie to drag me away. Francesca gave me a look of disbelief as she stood to her feet again, with the help of Trey, and rubbed her throat. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I couldn't even respond because I knew if I did, I would lose control again.

Jamie placed his hand gently at the side of my face, turning me to look at him. "Hey," he said, his colorless eyes burning into mine. His other hand grabbed onto mine and he gave me a nod of reassurance. "I'm here."

I smiled weakly at him. "I'm so getting suspended."

He laughed. "Yeah, you are."

**

Lunch came around slow.

Maybe it was because all of my classes were eerily silent. No one wanted to say anything because they were scared that it would rub me the wrong way and I would try to strangle them like I did with Francesca.

They were probably right.

Somehow, the news had spread to the staff and even the teachers tried to pick on me more than normal.

When the lunch bell rang, I practically darted out of my classroom and speeded to the cafeteria. The only person I knew would be there for me was Jamie but for some odd reason, he was nowhere to be seen.

My eyes overlooked all the round tables in search of the blond haired boy, but I had no luck. He wouldn't seriously try to bail on me, would he? Right when he knew I needed him the most?

Luckily, I caught a glimpse of a familiar dark-haired boy sitting on one of the round tables all by himself. He appeared to be completely interested in his food, based on the way he was staring intently at his chicken nuggets.