Tell me if you need a loving hand

To help you fall asleep tonight

Chapter 10 ~ Cold Coffee

Jamie Myers

Leave it to Max to ruin a perfectly good almost semi-date with Scar.

Just when I was finally peeling back the layers of the clouded mystery that Scar seemed to be made of, Max just had to show up and be, well, Max. The look on Scar's face when Max forced my hand down his pants was what impelled me to run out of the ice cream shop to avoid further embarrassment. He was trying to be nice by respecting my supposed-"relationship" with Max, but I knew he was completely and utterly disgusted by it.

And somehow, that bothered me. I've been bullied my whole life for far worse reasons but I never bothered to care. Yet now, I cared way too much about what Scar thought of me. That was exactly why I never got involved with football jocks with pretty eyes.

As if sensing my distress, Scar appeared at my side and took a seat on the sidewalk beside me, letting out a slight grunt as he did so. "Is there a reason why you ran out, leaving me alone with your creepy obsessive boyfriend?" He nudged my shoulder in a playful manner, but I didn't find it funny.

"He's not my boyfriend," I said through gritted teeth.

His facial expression morphed into that of confusion. "How does that stuff work, anyway? Like how do you guys decide who the girl is and who the guy is in the relationship?"

Sighing heavily, I buried my head into my hands and mumbled, "There is no girl, Scar. That's the whole point of being gay."

He was momentarily dumbfounded, allowing silence to settle between us before he opened his mouth to speak again. "Well, yeah, but you can't just have two guys together. One has to be submissive. It's just the way it is. One has to be masculine and one has to be feminine, or else it doesn't work."

Releasing yet another sigh, I rubbed my temples in frustration. He was wrong on so many levels, but I was too frustrated to care. "Please stop talking."

"Dude, I'm just trying to understand you better."

I sighed once again. "You don't need to understand me, Scar," I spat at him in a bitter tone. "You don't. Don't pretend like you give a shit about me, because you don't so just stop. Okay? Stop."

A frown creased his forehead as he pulled his brows together in confusion, his turquoise eyes staring back at me in bewilderment. "Jamie, what's wrong with you? Is it Max? You were fine, like, two seconds ago. We're friends now, remember? You can tell me if there's something wrong."

It was the way he said it that made me want to throw my arms around him and never let him go. Or maybe there wasn't a special way he said it. Maybe my mind was just playing tricks on me because even my brain couldn't register why I was feeling this way about Scar.

He placed his hand down on the sidewalk and for a brief moment, our fingers brushed. The contact sent shivers down my spine for a mere second before it angered me.

I yanked my hand away from him and gazed back at him with pure horror and shock. "That is what's wrong with me. You're acting like you like me by caring about my feelings and wanting to drive me everywhere like some damn chauffeur. When in reality, the only reason you're willing to be seen with me is because I made up a stupid lie to get you to kiss me."

All concern drained from his face at that very instant and his wild eyes grew hard. "What?"

I almost regretted saying it. I never planned on telling Scar the truth, but it didn't matter anymore. The real truth was that he was desperately in love with Francesca. Soon enough, he would go back to being her boy toy and he and Trey will become best friends again. Everything will go back to the way it was and I'd be left with nothing but my sister and foster family.

"It's true," I finally admitted. "My mom's not really an organizer for the carnival, but I couldn't find any real threat to get you to kiss me."

His gaze narrowed until I couldn't see the bright color of his eyes anymore. He ran a hand through his short brown hair and shook his head in disbelief. "You faggot," he spat bitterly. "What kind of person does that?"

I didn't bother to defend myself, because we both knew I was wrong for doing that. But did I care? No. All I wanted was to roll around in bed with Scar, not whatever this was. "I'm just gonna go home."

I was half expecting him to offer me a ride like the many times before, but I wasn't surprised when he said, "Yeah, go home, cocksucker."

Even though I tried my hardest not to, I could feel the corners of my lips twitching into a small smile. "That's not an insult," I muttered quietly and I didn't think he heard me. If he did, he didn't make a comment on it.

Deciding that I didn't want to stick around to hear any more of Scar's insults, I shoved my hands deep into my front pockets and started to trudge down the sidewalk. There was no doubt that it'd be a very long walk back to my foster home and it would be a walk spent with my thoughts.

But the thing was, I didn't want to think. I didn't want to think about Scar or his stupid girlfriend. I didn't want to think about Jillian and how mad she'll be when I finally faced her. I didn't want to think about how horrible Janice is. I didn't want to think about my parents.

But it didn't seem to matter what I wanted to do, because I thought about them anyway.

After about a half hour of endless walking, I turned into my driveway. My eyes travelled towards the big window on the left side of the one-story house and I let out an involuntary sigh when I saw the blinds were still closed and the curtains were still drawn.

Luckily, it was still early in the morning and Janice tended to wake up late. Even though she was going to issue my punishment eventually, it was nice to know that I'd have some time to prepare for it.

I padded my way to the front door, sticking my key into the old busted look and moving it around several times before the door finally popped open. Carefully stepping over the threshold, I closed the door silently behind me and stuck my keys back into my pocket.

As I continued further into the house, I noticed one of the twins was sleeping on the couch with his honey brown hair falling over his eyes and his tiny arms stretched out into almost impossible positions. I walked over to his side and tugged on the blanket he had since he was a baby until it covered his body completely.

"I thought I heard something." I didn't even need to turn around to know it was Jillian's voice.

I had been trying to avoid this very moment for the whole day, and now it was finally here. Taking a deep breath to prepare myself, I turned to face her. "Hey, Jill."

She folded her arms against her chest and lifted a inquiring brow. Dark purple spots stained the area underneath her eyes, down her jawline, and to her neck and collarbone. Instantly, I felt guilty.

"You left last night without me," she mused. "Care to tell me where you've been?"

If she knew I ditched her for Scar, I'd be stuck in an argument for hours. But it wasn't like I could take her with me. One of us had to stay in order to keep Janice at bay. "I went for a walk," I lied through gritted teeth.

Jillian didn't buy that. "A walk? For a whole night?"

I shrugged my shoulders in nonchalance. "I took a nap on a park bench."

She kept her pale gray eyes trained on me. "You took Scar's car, and you came back without it. You were with him, weren't you? Is your boyfriend so important that you left me here alone with the wicked witch of the west?"

There was no point trying to consolidate her. She was smart enough to put two and two together, and the best I could do was act innocent. "He was drunk," I pointed out. "Someone had to take care of him."

"Oh!" She faked a wide smile. "So that someone had to be you? If I'm not mistaken, he has a sister and a mother whose job is to take care of him. You didn't have to insert yourself into his life, Jamie. He's straight, for god's sake."

"I really wish you would stop inserting yourself into my business," I retorted.

Her mouth fell open as she stare back at me in disbelief. "Seriously?" Grabbing onto the hem of her shirt, she pulled it up over her head to expose her black bra. She turned her back to me and said, "look what she did to me! Look what happened when you left and she lost her temper."

A gasp escaped my lips when I saw the trail of purple bruises running across her back. If I had felt guilty before, then I was surely guilty now. "Jill..."

"Don't do that!" She snapped at me, yelling at the top of her lungs and holding back tears. "When's the last time you got beat? When's the last time you cried? This isn't fair! I'm the one suffering the most out of the both of us when it's your fault that our parents are dead!"

That hit me hard, and she knew it too. It had been years since she blamed me for our parents' death and I thought we were past it. But apparently not. "You didn't just say that."

She stood her stance, but didn't say anything else.

Beside me, the little boy stirred in his sleep and stood up straight while trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. "What's going on?" He murmured.

I snuck a quick glance at Jillian before turning to face the boy. "Nothing, Brian. Where's your brother?"

He blinked a few times, trying to recall. "Um, well, we were playing a game and Janice yelled at him and told me to go to sleep."

"He's probably in your room then. Why don't you go find him while I go make something for us to eat?" I gave him a reassuring smile as he inched off the couch and scurried through the small living room, disappearing into the long extensive hallway leading to all the rooms.

I scrambled to my feet and slowly moved to the small kitchen in search for something to make. In the corner of my eye, I could see my sister making her way to my side. "Jamie," she whispered. "You know I didn't mean that."

I turned my back to her and reached into one of the cabinets, pulling out a glass plate. "Of course you didn't."

She tossed her blonde locks over her shoulder and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I didn't. That was stupid for me to say. I know it wasn't-"

Growing completely annoyed with her presence, I released the plate I was holding and allowed it to the crash to floor and shatter into many pieces. Jillian let out a small gasp at my sudden outburst, but I completely ignored her and pushed past her.

"Where are you going?" She called after me.

Anywhere but here.

"You're leaving again?" She asked exasperatedly, her voice cracking. "Seriously Jamie?"

"Seriously," I bit back without turning around. It was enough that I had to deal with Scar hating me for lying to him, so I didn't need my own sister patronizing me with her accusing words.

I had enough.

Maybe it was selfish of me to leave her there for a second time, but I didn't care because I needed to blow off steam. And there was only one way I knew how.

Max's house wasn't far from mine, but he didn't know that. In fact, no one knew about my foster situation aside from Jillian and the twins. Everytime I decided to visit Max, he would always joke about how I've come a long way to see him. When in reality, he was only two blocks away so I didn't mind the walk.

When I arrived at his front door, I rang the doorbell three times which was something Max and I agreed to indicate I needed sex. Like badly.

I wasn't the least bit surprised when Max opened the door with a big grin on his face. He was still wearing what he wore at the ice cream shop - a band t-shirt that was two sizes too small and tight skinny jeans. "Hey, Jamie! What brings you here?"

I could tell he was taking pride in this by the way he rocked back and forth on his heels and grinned like a damn Cheshire Cat. "What else would bring me here?" I countered with a slight smile. "Take off your clothes."

Max leaned further into the door frame. "Jamie, my parents are home," he notified me. "That's a bit on the indecent side."

I lifted a skeptical brow. "Fine, I guess I'll just go then." I made a move to leave, but Max reached out and grabbed onto my arm before I could.

"Wait," he pleaded. "I was just kidding. Of course we can have a bunch of rabbit sex. You know my body is always available for you, Jamie-bear."

I tried my best not to be disgusted by Max's various nicknames he coined for me. Because the truth is, I wasn't actually attracted to Max. He was just something to do when I wanted to get my mind off something and even though he liked me way more than I liked him, I knew I'd always keep him around for those rainy days.

He stepped into the house and I followed him up the stairs to his bedroom, which was just across from his parents' room. But apparently, his parents were completely fine with him having sex at such a young age as long as he used protection. And I wouldn't be the one to argue.

As soon as we were both in his room, Max shut the door behind us and locked it. "It's been a long time since we've actually had sex in a bed."

I laughed at that. "That's true."

"So, I was thinking..." Max clasped his hands together and looked up at me with his big chocolate eyes blinking innocently, "...maybe I can be top this time."

Not being able to help myself, I chuckled loudly. Max just stood there by the door, staring at me with a dead serious expression on his face. "Oh, come on," I said once I realized he wasn't joking. "You're way too small to be a top, Max. Besides, don't you enjoy it when you feel me inside you?"

I took a careful step closer to him and he gulped. "Well, of course I do. But I just wanted to try something different."

Even though I had experience of being both a top and bottom, I wasn't going to allow Max to get what he wanted.

Today, it was about what I wanted.

So I closed whatever space was left between us and pinned Max against the wall where a poster of one of his favorite bands was taped.

I pressed my lips to his fiercely, feeling the need to let out all of my anger. My hands trailed down his arms until I finally interlocked my fingers with his. I planted one leg between his, brushing my thigh against his crotch and preventing him from moving. He gave into the kiss almost instantly, melting under my touch. His eyes fluttered shut and soon enough, his lips began to move with mine.

There wasn't anything special about the kiss and maybe it was because Max wasn't really special to me. Had it been Scar, then I didn't think I would've been able to stand straight. Lately, it was hard to keep my composure around Scar so it'd be especially hard if I had to lock lips with those wonderful soft lips.

I was too busy daydreaming about Scar that I didn't realize Max and I had moved to the bed. He continued to kiss me with passion as he climbed on top of me, his legs on either side of my hips. He broke away only momentarily to unbutton my jeans and pulled them down to my knees, then went back to kissing me.

Out of habit, I reached out and fisted my hands into Max's short dark hair in an attempt to bring him closer to me. My state of arousal was heightened by the thought of being able to do Max until he was begging for more that I didn't want to wait any longer.

"Hey," Max said against my lips. "Maybe we should do it without a condom this time."

I tugged him closer to me and kissed him hard as I flipped us over so that I was straddling him. Pulling away from the heated kiss for only seconds, I smiled condescendingly at him. "You're just full of jokes today, aren't you?" Without giving him time to respond, I crashed my lips on his again, silencing him.

**

I fell back onto the bed, panting heavily and pulling the sheets over my bare body. Max nuzzled his head into my chest and began to stroke my abdomen. "You must've been really stressed," he noted, gazing up at me under his dark lashes.

"Yeah," I agreed as I stared blankly at the ceiling. I wasn't really one for small talk after sex. Sometimes I just needed to enjoy the silence, but of course asking Max to be silent was like asking the earth to stop spinning.

"Why don't you ever take me on dates?" He questioned me. "I mean, I love having sex with you and all but we should do other stuff. Like couple stuff."

I sighed heavily. "We're not dating."

"Well, why not?" He say up abruptly and stared at me wide-eyed. "I like you and you like me, don't you?"

I clamped my teeth down on my bottom lip to prevent me from saying something stupid. I didn't actually like Max because he was needy and annoying, but I couldn't tell him that. He was still just a kid.

Suddenly, my phone rang on the bedside table and I was eternally grateful for the perfect timing. Snatching the phone from the table and holding up a finger to Max to silence him, I answered the call. "Hello?"

"Jamie?" It was Scar's voice and he sounded very distressed.

"Scar?" I inched away from Max and focused all my attention on the phone call. "What's wrong? Why are you calling me?"

I heard him suck in a shaky breath followed by a sniffle. Was he crying? "I n-need you," he whimpered into the phone.

I tore the sheets away from my body and began to dress myself with the phone pressed between my ear and shoulder. "What's going on?" I questioned him again. "What happened?"

"Just..." He trailed off and the line went so silent that I thought he hung up on me. "...I don't ... Please come. I need you."

Just hours before, Scar didn't hesitate to call me every insult in the book. But now he needed me? Something big must've happened. "I'll be there," I assured him and hung up the phone. I continued to put on my clothes, but stopped in my tracks when Max cleared his throat.

"Where are you going?" He inquired. "You just got here."

Buttoning my pants, I shot him a quick apologetic smile. "It's an emergency."

"Does it have to do with that guy from the ice cream shop?"

I didn't respond.

"That's no fair!" He nearly shouted as he ripped the sheets away from him and stood to his feet, exposing his completely nude body. "I had you first. He can't just come out of the middle of nowhere and steal you away from me. It's not fair. You're mine!"

I turned to face him with my brows furrowing. "Dude, I'm not yours. We're not dating. We're not even friends. You're just a piece of ass that I enjoy dominating every once in a while."

Max's lips pressed together into a thin line. After a moment of silence, he yelled, "Get out!"

Okay, that was a little mean. "Max..."

"Out!" He yelled again as he advanced towards me and began to pound his fists against my chest. "Get out! Don't ever come back again. I hate you!" He continued to push me out of the room and slammed the bedroom door in my face, rattling the door frame.

I stood there helplessly and sighed to myself. I knew that Scar was turning me into a bigger jerk than I was willing to admit. If he had asked me to jump off a cliff, I probably would if that meant making him happy. I couldn't understand where these feelings developed. At first, I saw Scar as a conquest. Now I saw him as a boy with pretty green eyes who I wanted to kiss all day long.