After Sean freaked out over his insignificant German test earlier, he came over to my apartment in the evening. My parents were back from their business trip in Rio de Janeiro, but they were still in the office downtown solving some kind of crisis. Usually Sean started kissing me as soon as I latched the front door, but he brushed past me and headed straight to my room. He sat himself down on the floor and delivered his grand opening, "I need to talk to you."

"You sound like a housewife who's mad that the husband forgot to take out the trash again."

"I'm crazy about you," he said, ignoring my comment. "I think you know that. But we can't go on like this."

"Like what? Being in love with each other?" I didn't like the sound of it. He sounded like he was pulling away and I hated the seriousness of him, like he was about to give me a lecture.

"You're acting defensive before I even say anything."

I heaved a long sigh. "Fine. Talk. I'm not going to interrupt until you finish." I felt like the man in the relationship. I was impatient and insensitive, and I just wanted him to shut up fast so I could kiss him. Of all the wonderful things he could do with his mouth, he chose to talk to me.

"Okay, I think we have to establish some rules," he started. "I'm tired all the time. I thought I can juggle everything, but I found out I can't study and date you and go on my games at the same time, on top of sleeping five hours everyday."

He's sacrificing me. School, sports, sleep, sex-that was his list of priorities, exactly in that order. Obviously I couldn't compare with the others, and I was going to be the first junk he threw out of this sinking ship. I bit on my lower lip hard.

"Don't get me wrong. You're very important," he clarified as if he read my mind. "Too important. Ever since I got you back I've been thinking about how to make this last, and that's why I can't burn out myself too quickly." He smiled at me. "I want you in my life for as long as you're willing to stay."

How many people could resist Sean like that? My insides turned into mushy pink goo and I imagined myself melting and sliding into a puddle on the floor. I nodded.

"I hope that's what you want too, you know, a steady long-term relationship," he said as if it was something embarrassing to admit, then he added, "Because if you just want a winter fling, I'll start undressing you right now and you can forget everything I just said."

I laughed. "I want to have a long-term relationship too," I said, my face heating up. Why did the concept of getting serious make me shyer than getting naked? That I'd never know, but it stirred up a lightheaded, delicious feeling in me like a glass of exquisite pink champagne.

He grinned and it turned his eyes into blue crescents. "Great. So we're on the same page." As the crescents expanded back into full moons he got serious again. "Okay, first of all, I think we have to spend less time together. I can't stay with you that late and we have to limit our phone conversations. I also can't text you in class anymore because I'd just be waiting for you to text back. I really need to concentrate."

My pink champagne vaporized. Getting serious didn't seem like it offered any advantage, and wait, there was more to come.

"I can't take you to guy's night, and I want to hang out with Janet sometimes, because I've been completely ignoring her. I mean, together with you, of course."

"I never said you can't hang out with Janet. You don't need me to chaperone," I said. That had always been his issue and not mine.

"No, I want to be fair."

"How about you let me date Raymond, and I let you date Janet? That's fair." Why had I never thought of this before? I was a genius. "Quid pro quo."

He narrowed his eyes. "No way. Janet doesn't pose any threat. Letting you date Raymond is like you letting me date...Jess or Sarah."

I didn't trust either of them around him. Years of private girls' school training had made them both famished and Sean was one piece of quality meat. "Fine. Let's do monogamy all the way. I'll ask for your permission before I talk to my brothers."

"If you insist," he said.

"What else?"

"You can't get mad at me when we don't spend the whole weekend together. You know I have to do brunches with my grandparents and go to my workouts. I haven't been to the gym for two weeks and I'm afraid I'm losing them." He lifted his shirt and leaned back to show me his abs, which was every bit as tempting as I remembered.

I bent down and kissed his stomach swiftly. "They're very much there, all six of them." To be fair, right now I could only see faint lines, but I didn't hesitate to boost his ego as per usual.

He laughed. "I do this part for your sake, you know. You're very, very superficial."

"I'm superficial and proud of it." I raised my chin. "Is that it? No rules on setting the alarm clock for sex or abstinence before a big game?"

He shook his head. "No. Our sex life can not be sacrificed. That's it."

"Is this the part where we slash our palms and make a blood oath?" I said dryly.

He tilted his head, pretending to consider. "Well, I was aiming for written consent, but if you want to be so hardcore..."

"I never know in order to date the most eligible bachelor in school, a prenup needs to be drawn up." I pointed a warning finger at him. "You're not getting half of my shoes when we break up."

"I don't want your shoes. I want you." His eyes sparkled with warm glow, like a heated pool on a sunny day. "Thank you for being such a good sport and going along with me."

"I know you have a lot of issues. It's okay. You're good-looking, so you're allowed to be difficult."

Sean was a pretty good negotiator and didn't say anything to directly tick me off. He started by saying he wanted to get serious and ended with I want you, which pretty much just made me choke back whatever argument I could muster up.

I was, however, secretly upset that he sprung the Declaration of Independence on me. The past two weeks my life had been fabulous. If my life were a movie, it would be those montages where video clips of us loving each other would overlap, with incredibly emotional music in the background and at some point we'd be singing into random objects because we were just too happy. If it were a particularly cliché movie, a line might even split down the middle of the screen to show us both on the phone and later fell asleep with matching lovesick grins on our faces.

I didn't expect the sappy period to expire so quickly. Back when we were flirting with each other, it was like standing outside my favorite bakery, sniffling the sweet air and lusting after the cute cupcakes in the display window. Now that I was finally inside the shop and gorging my way through, Sean was telling me he didn't want to spoil his appetite?

I understood where he was coming from, just like I understood when people said they needed to watch their blood sugar and live to a hundred years old, but what was the fun in that? What happened to living every day to the fullest like it was the last day? Getting serious turned out to be a drag. Maybe I should've picked winter fling and see where that took me.

He stood up and climbed on top of my bed. "Can I sleep for a while? I'm really exhausted."

"Of course. I'll just tweeze my eyebrows over here." I pointed to my dressing table. I was in no mood to kiss him anymore.

"No...Can you come over here? I want you beside me."

I went over and lay down next to him. He placed his head against my shoulder and positioned my arms around his body so I was holding him. I rested my chin against his head.

"I don't know what I'll do without you," he said. His voice was soft, falling sweetly like rose petals. "I feel better just seeing you. You don't even need to say anything."

I ran my fingers gently through his hair. I didn't speak because I knew I'd ruin it.

"Baby, I think I really need you," he murmured. He was asleep in my arms in minutes, and I liked how he grew heavier as his body relaxed. Underneath Sean's cool exterior he was as innocent as Bambi.

That was when I knew. The advantage of getting serious with him.

I got to see this boyish, unguarded side of him, and it was better than anything I ever imagined.

***

"Is that what you're wearing?" Sean gaped at my pink Valentino dress and Rockstud pumps, but unlike what I hoped for, he looked more shocked than impressed.

He had come to pick me up for a concert. Janet and Nicholas would meet us there, because Sean insisted that if I wasn't there to stop him, he and Janet would elope and ride off into the sunset together. Not in these words, of course, but because his anti-one-on-one rule was so ridiculous, that was exactly how it felt like.

"Don't you like it?" I pouted. I twirled around and allowed him a full 360-degree view.

"I like it, but we're going to a warehouse."

"I went to a Marc Jacobs runway show once and it's also set in a warehouse. The idea of all that glamour in a shabby place is so awesome. I loved the contrast!"

"I don't think it's going to be as glamorous as you imagined," he said with amusement in his eyes. "Your dress looks so expensive. It might get dirty."

I knew we weren't going to a Maroon 5 concert, but at least it was some new rising star at a cool underground venue. Sean made it sound like we were going to clean up the elephant's cage at a zoo. "I want to look nice. Do you know we haven't dated anywhere outside the bedroom for like, forever?"

He smiled. "You can wear this in the bedroom too."

"No, thanks. I want the dress to stay on for more than ten minutes."

He smiled again and kissed me. "You look great. It's a very pretty dress."

His fingers slipped down my back and toyed with the hem of my skirt, pushing against the back of my thighs. I laughed and swatted his hands away. We left in his car, the air sizzling with my barely contained excitement. Staying with Sean at home was wonderful, but a night out was just what I needed.

All my joy dissipated like the bubbles in a bottle of two-day-old Pepsi when we arrived. Calling the place a warehouse was false advertisement; it was more like a dumpster. The air smelled like a salad of awful smells thrown in together.

Cat piss. Human piss. Cigarettes. Cheap perfume. Weed. Stale beer. Semen. This was the kind of place Daniel the photographer would love, and I bet if he looked hard enough he could find a used condom or two lying around. He could totally take a photograph of this place and add this to his collection of "human existence".

Janet and Nicholas showed up, both wearing black tees with undefinable symbols on them. The light was too dim for me to tell. It fact, I was the only flash of pink all around. This could very well be the undiscovered vampire central.

I stepped on something wet, and when I lifted my foot my shoe bottom had turned sticky. I wanted to complain but my voice was drown out by the music. The band had started playing, and I wished I could say that they were the glamour aspect of the night, but there was a reason they were playing here instead of a large music center, and no, it wasn't because they were cool.

"Isn't this awesome?" Janet shouted in my ear when one of the songs had ended.

I searched her face to check if she was being sarcastic. She wasn't.

The torture went on for another hour, and did I mention there were no seats? Of course there weren't. I could walk around in my three-inched heels all day in a shopping mall, but standing and listening to awful screaming was extremely exhausting.

Someone bumped into me hard and splashed liquid down my leg.

"Sean!" I tugged on my boyfriend's hand, and it took me three hard tugs to catch his attention. I told him I was going to the bathroom to clean up, and he politely asked if he needed to come with me. I spared him, partly because unfortunately he seemed to be enjoying himself, and partly because I was the tiniest bit irritated at him.

Before the concert started I tried very hard striking up a conversation with Nicholas, whose life solely consisted of taking AP classes and working after school, and both subjects were not part of my domain. He worked at one of those pretentious hipster cafes, where the baristas ran away screaming if you dared mention the name Taylor Swift. It was like being mainstream was a sin and they could only allow themselves to like bands that didn't even exist yet, such as the one playing on stage right now.

I came out of the restroom feeling like a martyr. This was what I'd do for my boyfriend-getting to know his friend and hanging out at this poor excuse of a concert, when he wouldn't even try to talk about Raymond without throwing in snide remarks. Before heading back, I stopped at the so-called bar (which was more like a refreshment stand), and asked for a bottle of water.

"Do you like it?"

I turned my head to see a scrawny guy with a head of floppy, ash-colored hair. He was standing next to me with his hands in the pockets, pointing at the direction of the concert with his chin.

"Are you kidding me?" I unscrewed the cap of my bottled water. "I'd rather listen to construction workers drill holes on concrete."

He laughed. "I know. I hate them too. And I'm their manager, so that really sucks."

I choked on my water. I coughed a few times more, my whole body heating up rapidly. Talk about putting my Valentino-clad foot in my mouth. "Oh my God. That's not what I meant. I'm so sorry, I mean-"

He laughed again. "Relax. I'm kidding."

I glared at him, but because I was too relieved, I joined in his laugh. He told me he didn't hate the music and he thought they had potential.

"Potential to induce a seizure attack?" I asked.

He smiled, and we chatted for a while longer, with me (good-naturedly) attacking the band and him playfully defending it.

"They have creative song titles," my new friend said. His name was Dexter. "Lemonade Society and Chocolate Metal, to name a few."

"It's like they're hungry all the time."

"You're pretty cool, even though you have awful taste in music." He fished out his phone. "Can I have your number?"

Why not? I gave him my Instagram account too.

Need I say more? Of course Sean wasn't happy about this whole thing, especially when I saw Dex on the way out, and I introduced my company as "my friends from school".

"I'm not her friend," Sean said, holding out a hand coolly. "I'm her boyfriend."

They shook hands, and Dexter looked the way I probably did when he told me he was the band manager. I should be used to awkward social situations by now but I managed to outdo myself again.

"You don't have to embarrass me in front of everyone," I said as soon as I sat down in Sean's car. It was a stupid defense mechanism because I knew Sean was going to say something I didn't like very soon.

He narrowed his eyes and a muscle twitched in his jaw. "I embarrassed you?"

"Would you act like this if Dexter was a girl?" I asked. "I just didn't find it necessary to point out specifically that you're my boyfriend."

"I guess you find it necessary to give out your phone number as soon as you're alone for five seconds," he said. Sean never raised his voice. Whenever he got mad, he just turned sarcastic.

"Am I not allowed to make friends anymore now that I'm in a relationship? It's not like I agreed to go out with him. I just thought he's pretty fun to talk to."

"Do you think he asked for your number because he thought you're pretty fun to talk to?" He leaned back against the seat and exhaled. "Jesus, Flora. You're a smart girl. How can you not know what he wants?"

"I don't care what he wants. The important thing is, I know what I want. I can't control how people think and spend all my time analyzing people's ulterior motive." I exhaled too. "Sean, you know you can trust me. I really didn't mean anything."

"Then you're giving him false hope."

"Oh, so you're mad because you're concerned about his feelings?"

His eyes hardened. "No, I'm mad because you have no regard for mine."

My heart softened instantly, knowing I hurt him. "Oh, Sean. Of course I care about your feelings. I just didn't think it was such a big deal."

"I always say I have a girlfriend right away," he said stiffly.

That was because Sean didn't want to make new friends. He never tried making any, to begin with. Those who he had were just conveniently around him, either as a neighbor or someone who sat next to him in classes. He didn't know friendships can stem from anywhere. From a wrong number to asking for directions, the possibilities were endless.

"I'm not interested in him or anything. Besides, when he sees my Instagram he'll notice that your pictures are all over the place," I said. "You know how crazy I'm about you. You shouldn't be threatened by these other guys at all."

"Flora, I'm not threatened. It's like eating a meal with flies flying all around. I'm not threatened by the flies, but they still annoy the hell out of me."

I tossed back my head and laughed.

"I'm serious. I try to be reasonable, Flora. I know how it's like to be with someone overbearing and controlling-"

"You mean like Leslie?"

He heaved a sigh, annoyed. We'd probably invent flying cars first and land on Uranus before he'd speak anything bad about his ex. "I'm not saying you can't talk to people or make new friends. I'm just asking you to let them know you have a boyfriend. Don't give them the wrong idea. That's all. Is that too much?"

To be perfectly honest, Sean really wasn't overly-possessive. He was sexily-possessive, at most. He gave me the password to his email account, he told me where he's going before he went, and he never chatted to any other girl on the phone, yet he didn't ask the same in return. He didn't mind when I put my family and friends before him and I knew he wanted me to be independent and happy. He was certainly not stalkerish, and he never went into a jealous flying rage.

I knew none of my friends would have this kind of fight if they were dating Sean. Sandra didn't even flirt with her own boyfriend, let alone other guys. None of them would ask to share a joint with Raymond or give out their numbers to random strangers at a concert.

Clearly I wasn't normal and it was my problem. I was an attention seeker with no regard to my boyfriend's feeling. I needed to change, so I could be a better person for him.

"I'm sorry," I said. "It won't happen again."

He nodded. "I'm sorry too."

"Are you still mad at me?"

"No," he said, but just to be sure I climbed over the shift stick and straddled him. The steering wheel pressed into my back.

I planted a kiss on his lips. "Are you sure?" I asked, dropping my voice to a breathy murmur.

"Yes."

"Really?" I kissed his cheek.

He closed his eyes, and I started to nibble on his neck. "I can kiss every inch of you just so you can be sure," I whispered.

He lifted my chin and we started making out. "That's not necessary," he said. My eyes were closed too, but I could feel it when he smiled. I knew we were fine again.

"Just the inches that matter should be enough," Sean said.

***