I was in the lab when Lucia called. There was unfamiliar urgency in her voice and it got my attention right away.

"I need to see you in person. It's very important. Don't tell Leslie yet," she said. I could tell she was upset. I had never heard Lucia upset, not even back when I told her about kissing Leslie at her birthday party.

"I'm completely fine with it," she had said immediately.

"Are you sure? I know it's distasteful, and if you're at all uncomfortable with it-"

"Sean," she had interrupted. "How many times have we been out?"

I did a quick calculation. "Four or five times?"

"I can let you off the hook with five times. Everybody knows nothing is definite yet at this stage." She had smiled very pleasantly. "Leslie told me already. She said she really wants this, so yeah, you can date her."

Now Lucia sat across from me at the coffee house near school, appearing much more solemn than her usual breezy ways. At first she didn't say anything.

"Lucia, what's this about? You're making me a little nervous."

"Sean, is it serious between you and Leslie?"

She caught me off guard. "Yeah, it is. Why?"

She heaved a sigh. She stirred the milk tea in front of her for the fifth time, watching the liquid swirl around the spoon. "If it's serious then I hate to be the one to tell you this," she said eventually, like she was forced to read out her essay in class. "Has she ever told you that she's going to Austria?"

"Austria? When?"

"In less than a month. And it's not for a trip, either. She's going to transfer to a music academy and will stay with my dad." She studied my face. "Oh dear. Just as I thought. You have no idea about it."

Leslie is going to a music academy to Austria, I repeated the sentence two more times in my head just so it could register meaning. It didn't make any sense. "When was this decided?"

She bit her lip. "Actually, it's always been decided. That was her plan all along, to go to Austria and stay there for good."

I felt betrayed. I couldn't believe Leslie would keep something this big from me.

"I thought you knew. And I thought you didn't want to get tied down anyway, so that's why you chose to go out with her. Because she's leaving eventually," Lucia went on.

"No, that's not why."

"And at first I thought she just wanted a summer fling, but I can see it's not like that anymore. I'm telling you this now," Lucia said, "because she's decided she doesn't want to go. She's going to give up her position."

I didn't know which the bigger shock was, Leslie was going or she wasn't.

"Because of me?" I asked stupidly.

"Yes, because of you. I know she's very happy with you, and it's pretty cool that she found a guy she likes, but seriously, you have to agree this is a big mistake. She has been playing violin since she was five. It was all she ever wanted, until she met you."

I nodded. "Yes. I suppose it is a mistake."

"Of course it is," Lucia emphasized. "She won't listen to me. But you can do the right thing."

"Yes."

I knew what Lucia meant and she confirmed it. "Whatever reason you give her, just break up with her. Fast and precise."

***

Did I have something in me that propelled my girlfriends to lie to me? This whole scenario felt a little too familiar, but if there was anything I learned from my previous mistake, it was that I would break up with Leslie in a calm and controlled way, and I'd be very clear about the reason why I did it.

When we met I told her about what Lucia said. She burst into tears right away.

"Please, I can explain." She sniveled.

"Okay. Explain."

"I was planning on going to Austria, but I've decided not to go. I didn't tell you because I was hoping you'd never hear of the whole thing."

"Leslie, you didn't explain anything."

She bit her lip, and I waited for her to continue.

"I really don't know what to say, except that I know what I'm doing," she said finally.

I sighed. "Okay, let me ask you this. Why would you want to start a relationship with me if you have plans already?"

"Because I've always liked you," Leslie murmured. "Do you remember you used to come to this diner...Monk's, with your friends? I helped out there last summer. I spilled water on your table and broke a glass, but you helped me and asked me if I was okay. I knew right then that you're different."

I remembered the diner but I had no memory of Leslie. If Flora had been serving us I'd never forget it, I thought guiltily.

"I thought I would keep it as a secret crush, but when you started hanging out with Lucia, I couldn't help myself," she said. "If I'd told you about Austria I wouldn't stand a chance."

"So all the righteous talk about not wanting to hurt Lucia and asking me to stop seeing her...that was staged?" I felt nauseous. Janet was right all along.

She shook her head. "No, that part was true. She really does tend to fall very hard and I really was worried about her. I wanted you to stop before she starts to develop feelings for you."

"That's some serious double standards, Leslie. How do you think I would feel if you suddenly disappear off to Europe? Don't you think I was entitled to know what I was in for before this got serious?"

"I know." She nodded slowly. "But you have to understand this...You are you. I never imagined you would really be interested in me." Her voice was soft, almost like talking to herself. "I was satisfied with just being near you, and even when we started going out, I still felt like you'd leave me any second. I thought I'd keep you for as long as I can."

I knew she was telling the truth, but I was still offended by the selfishness of it. "In a way you're just having fun with your summer fling until your flight takes off."

"That's not how it is." She sobbed. "My feelings for you are very real."

"And studying for the SAT? I don't think you need a perfect SAT score to play violin in Austria."

"Yes, I admit I had to scheme a little to get you to like me." This one Leslie confessed straight up. "And I had to act all sweet and considerate when I heard how you were clearly hung up on your ex, even though I hate hearing her name. I kissed you on my birthday because I knew you didn't have the heart to turn me down." She had stopped crying and her eyes narrowed with intensity. "But what's so wrong about that? If I had looks like Flora I wouldn't need to do anything. People like me have to try a little harder."

I honestly didn't know how to answer to that. She wasn't wrong; I probably wouldn't have even talked to her if things had followed their natural course.

"Remember what you said to me on the beach? You said you love that I know what's important and I work very hard for it," she said. She sounded firm and unapologetic. "You're very observant. Everything you learned about me is true. Our conversations are real, and so is our love."

"Right now I don't know what to believe anymore."

She lifted her head to stare at me. After a few seconds she whispered, "The end justifies the means, Sean."

Leslie had a side I never knew before and I clearly wasn't very observant, but I knew she was right. She could arrange for certain things to happen, but she couldn't maneuver feelings.

Everything I did with her, I did it voluntarily. I always had a choice. When I said I loved her I was uncertain, but I believed it came true gradually, and there was no doubt about it that she loved me too. I was half flattered, half alarmed and slightly creeped out by the intensity of it.

"When it got serious between us, I thought a lot about going away," she started talking again. "I decided to stay. I didn't tell you because I don't want you to feel pressured, but I know what's important to me. You are the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Leslie, you're being irrational. You can't let a guy who you've only known for a few months alter your life decisions," I said, surprised and touched at how much I meant to her. "What if we don't work out in the end? You'll hate me and yourself. I'd rather you just hate me."

"You mean you'll break up with me?"

I hesitated, then I decided. "If that's what it takes to get you to Austria, I will."

"You can't make my decisions for me."

"I can because you're not thinking straight. I don't want to be the reason you stay behind, and if you do this for me I won't even respect you."

Leslie shook her head. Tears started tumbling down and I forced myself to remain stony. There were times to be nice and others when I had to be cruel to be nice. After about an eternity of neither one of us speaking, she said, "I can't believe this is happening. We're really breaking up."

"I need you to do what's right for you. If you go, we can try a long distance relationship."

"No," she said. She lifted her eyes and met mine. In them I could see the strength and determination I had come to know and love. "I can't do long distance. If you want me to go, then it's goodbye."

This time there really wasn't any other choice.

"Goodbye, Leslie. I hope you have a good time in Austria."

***

@HemmingsBabyPenguin