Hailey

I left Vickie's house after mid-afternoon, not finding more excuses to occupy my mind in things other than the huge mess with Nate. And also, I got a day full of other headaches either way so I didn't have time to overthink it. For starters, I had to go recognize Ryan, and that alone was nerve-cracking and stressful, but also in school people were all talking about tha same two things: Kimmy fainting and Vickie's photoshoped pics.

What an awful mess. The red-head didn't want to show up at school and convinced her parents to stay in the day. Olly and Bear had been suspended for yesterday's fight and Bear with a plus for distributing the horrible photoshoped picture. They were considering expelling him if there were any prove he was indeed the one spreading it. Shame the account that did was a fake one.

But it was a matter of time, I was sure. Then Vickie would be able to forget about this and his vicious ways of getting her attention. Then the only problem would be them being neightbours but college would start next fall and they won't have to see each other ever again.

As for Kimmy...

I looked up the rehab center and it wasn't that far from here. I could go visit on weekends and the days I didn't work on the ice-cream store. That if they allowed it. Maybe they have visiting days and I couldn't just drop by whenever. I have to imform myself better.

It'd been a shitty day, starting with the sleepless night, then the awful call, Kimmy in the hospital, the stupids at school, Ryan... and now I was alert, waiting for Nate to show up at any moment and have the talk.

He was going to break up with me, wasn't he? No one said 'Can we talk?' in a good way. It was always the pre-bad-news. I was mad; I was sore and half heartbroken, half in shock about the whole thing with Trish. I wanted to trust him, but what was he doing this early with her? After we fight. And with her taking the call and hanging on me.

The numbing ache in my chest hadn't stopped all day. Had him-

No. I couldn't allowed my mind to go there. Luckily I spotted Shane leaning on the lamposts in the next crossroad, and I was glad I once more had a distraction. His eyes met mine the same moment and he kept the phone on his pocket, picking up the duffle-bag from his feet as I reached him.

"You're late." he frowned. "Isn't this considered reckless?"

"Come on, shut up." I rolled my eyes hooking my arm on his free one as we took the route toward the town's limit and the path to the farm. "So how where the guys?"

"Don't divert the topic. If it would had been me the one late you wouldn't had put it pass me. I wouldn't be hearing the end of it and threatening me to tell mom and-"

"Okay! I'm sorry." I huffed. "What? Have you had fun with the rest? Where's Ted?"

"Oh, you see. Teddy left us for his girlfriend." he kicked one rock on the way, frustratedly. "He's never around anymore."

"Well, I thought you couldn't stand him?"

"And I can't. But I'm not even able to enjoy our quarrels anymore unless their about his Bethany." his nose scrunched in digust and I almost smiled at his non-sense. It was clear he missed Ted now that he didn't have that much time for him, but had too much pride to admit it. "Like now! We were all fine, all hanging out. And all of the sudden, plas! She appears out of the blue and he left us."

"Don't be a baby." I roll my eyes at his childish behaviour. "You all can play without him, didn't you?"

"No! That's the thing. He left and so did Alex, and then Mike, and then Uri said only playing two wasn't fun so he left as well. Bethany is ruining everything! And Ted a sucker for letting her."

"Don't you think you're being a little too sore on this? She's his first girl, he's completely smitten." I rationalized but it only earned me a glare.

"Of course you would defend him. Everyone does. But what about me?"

"Oh, so you think a gameless afternoon is worth complaining on your brother's happy relatioship."

"Happy." he scoffed with a frown, kicking another rock as we entered the grave path that diverted from the principal road, now it was only half a mile from here. "They're not happy, they're pussy-whipped. Gross. Half of the time I'm disgusted by them, the other half gags are finally kicking in."

"Shane!"

"It's true! And now she messing with my group of friends too and that I won't tolerate. I can't stand her. Do something!"

"Me?" I gawked at his little tantrum, not knowing if I should feel amused or worried by how strongly he disliked the situation. I knew he and Bethany weren't exactly best friends, but from that to this there were a lot of shades in between. "What do you even want me to do?"

"I don't know... talk to Teddy? To Bethany? Oh, I know! What if we mess those earing you so thoughtfully suggested him to get her? That way they'll fight and-"

"Stop." I drop his arm, not believing my ears and he rose his glare from the ground, pouting at me. I can't even frown when he gave me his puppy-eyes. Instead I sighed. "How can you say such horrible things?"

"I was kidding." he grumbled, but it didn't quite looked like it to me.

"Come on... Bethany is not that bad."

"You don't know her."

"Righ, but your brother is happy, pussy-whipped or not. So why can't you be happy for him too?"

"Because he's ruining everything! Couples suck."

"Shane..."

"Oh, don't get offended. I wasn't talking about you." he rolled his eyes and my brows shot up at this sudden approach. "You pretty much stayed the same. But then again, we're not friends." he thought out loud snatching a surprised, sharp laughed from me.

"Wow. Now I am offended."

"Sis," he cried out, intertwining our arms again and unconsciously hurrying our pace. "You're always picking on the smallest details."

"Like you not liking me?"

"I just said we weren't friend. Not that I don't love you." he grinned that cute grin and I huffed out a frustrated breath. It was unfair he could disarmed just that easily.

"Anyway," I cleared my thoath redirecting this to a safer turf. "How was your day? Appart from the girl problems."

"Good! I nailed Bio's test. And Mr Hollan is sick so we have a free hour." he filled me in, moving on too from his previous anger. That was the good thing about my baby brother. He was very passionate about the things. He might be super intense about something that angered him but the next second be all good and cheerful once his mind was set somewhere else. That makes him volatile at times, but for that same endearableness you could never stay too mad at him, Unless you were Ted, of course, the twins' cat-and-dog-roll seems to never get old.

We spotted the farm and I already pictured myself taking the longest bath, getting rid of today's stress and hoping today will be a new day. I'd check on Kimmy, call Olly and be done for today. But my plans erased pretty quick when we took in the old Chevrolet parked in our front path, in the shadow of the big oak by the way.

My lungs immediately constricted, not ready at all to face Nate yet. I didn't even know what must be my reaction upon seeing him. Try and explain? Up until this morning the answer would had been clearly that. But now I was also insecure, hurt, betrayed... I didn't know if his actions were worst than mine or not, I only knew I felt like crying and that was so not an option in front of him.

What caught my attention as we passed the truck was how the back of it was filled with bags. His stuff. And not only that was enough to make my heart squeezed, but also there was the carrier on the passenger's seat. Two big eyes returned my stare as we passed it. What on earth was Spoty doing there? Why were his things on it too?

The worst gut feeling kicked me from inside, wondering if he had problems home and was back for the barn? I told him to, and despites us being in this weird situation he knew the barn was there for him. My eyes snapped to the farm, looking for him.

Shane noticed Nate at the same time I did, beyond Letty, waiting on the steps of our front porch, and once getting close enough he heard our footsteps and his gaze rose from the floor to us, getting up and wiping his palms on the jeans. His lip was indeed split and there was an horrible bluish bruise on his cheekbone.

Now I did feel like crying. And not only out of anger or heartbreak.

"Nate!" there it was again, Shane's awestruck tone whenever the star quarterback was near, but this time I was kinda glad for it. As he took the initiative I used this gained second to tear my gaze away and blink the embarrassing moisture in my eyes. "Hi! Didn't know you were coming."

"Hi, well..." I felt the eyes on me but I couldn't look up quite yet knowing I would be seeing him hurt, that he won't give me answers, and that we were still in this complicated crossroad that's spiralled down in the past 36 hours. "I did told you I would drop by."

My teeth gritted together and my fist closed around the keys as I took them from my backpack. Right. He wanted to talk. Whatever that means. For his also controlled tone and the tension evident to everyone but Shane it couldn't be something good. I forced my voice to come out as void of the hurricane currently devastating my chest as possible. "I know."

The thing was that I actually hadn't thought he'd follow through. One thing was to say it, but when I told him I wasn't in the mood to talk about it yet he didn't liked that very much and I hang up on him. Or him on me. The details were a little blurred, but the thing was that the call didn't end well.

His eyes narrowed; but I climbed the steps by passing him as if nothing when in reality my whole body was buzzing in anger, hurt, worry and remorse.

Maybe I should apologize?

Don't you dare!

"Nevermind. The more the merrier, right?" chipped in Shane way too excited about him here to care. From the corner of my eyes I saw him eying Nate warily as well, probably noticing as well the bruises, but knew better than to ask. Instead he hid the wariness and straightened his back, stucking his hands on his pockets copying Nate's pose. Really? "Hey, do you want to play? We were in the park with some friends but they all ditched. Can we-"

"Shane, he's not here to play with you." I cut in softly pushing down the knot of nerves bubbling in my stomach as I unlocked the front door and pushed it open with my shoulder. "In fact I'm not even sure what he's doing here."

"I told you we need to talk." I heard Nate insisted frustratedly as them both slid behind and my heart picked up. "And you've been calling me too, so you know we need to as well."

My brows furrowed at his tone, like controlled, resentful and remorseful at once. I shrugged the coat off my shoulders, dropping it however on the hook by the door not really caring how it hanged. I was too altered by everything. "I don't know if I want to talk anymore."

"Oh, you've had a fight?" questioned my brother and I turned to him, my patience running thin.

"Shane."

A flash of hurt crossed his eyes and if I wasn't this buzzing I would noticed the guilt now added in my chest. "Okay." he gulped, glancing between us for a last moment before turning around and climbing upstair mumbling to himself.

I sighed, disappointed in myself for harming Shane as well when he han't done anything. "Look," gathering enough will not to lash with everything roaming in my chest I spun to look at Nate who was standing in the doorstep between the lobby and the living room, hands in his pockets, stiff and shifting almost awkwardly on his feet. "I really don't want to talk about it anymore. I get it."

"You really don't. And about this morning-"

Trish's patronizing voice came back making my fingers clenched in two frustrated fists. "I do. And I don't wanna talk about it."

"Hailey, it's not what it looks like."

"Whatever." I walked pass him into the living room, hating this crushing in my heart and not knowing if I was more hurt or angry. Not even knowing if I wanted to know what happened or drop the topic and keep it forever locked in the back of my mind. What would hurt less?

Yet Nate decided for both of us and followed me further inside, talking rushedly as if fearing I'd shut him out for good and heard nothing at all. Like he's been doing to me. "I-I don't know what is it that Trish had told you, but nothing happened. I needed a place to stay a she let me stay."

Calm, Hailey. Don't loose your cool over this. I repeated over and over like a mantra as I carefully took a seat in the couch, unlacing my shoes just to have something to entertain myself with. Something to ground me as I choose thoughtfully my next words. "So you've stayed the night at hers?"

He let out a disbelief chuckle, dry and humorless. "Is that the only thing important for you? Maybe there's a major reason for me to need to use her place."

My guts did a complicated turn. "Yeah, but you won't tell me. I won't keep prying in stuff that clearly upsets you and bring us to fight more, so I focus on the part where I still have a say on... or at least have the right to comment." I finally slid off my ankle boots and met his eyes again, flued with this bubbling anger as I keep hearing Trish's voice and reliving what I'd felt this morning. "You were with her. Everytime we have some problem you run back to her."

"That's not true."

"It is. She still wants something with you, she's made it pretty clear and you keep going back to her." his eyes darkened at each word passing my lips but they were true and speaking them out loud only seemed to make them more real. Along with my unease and anger. "And it's completely unfair because you're extremly possessive over me with any guy that might show me the slightest interest."

"You mean Justin."

A spark of sting spread from my chest to my limbs, forcing my gaze to tear away and my arms to fold. "Yeah, well, I'm not that sought after but still."

"What? Come on, Hailey, I didn't mean it like that." surprisingly he took the seat at the other end of the couch, glaring the floor as he messed his hair stressfully. "Ames wants to get with you. That's why I don't like him forgetting his boundries."

"Oh, but it all okay what you do with Trish?" I snorted, not believed this conversations was actually taking place. I stood, aggravated and he did the same, warily as my mouth run free now: "No, I'm not doing this. I'm not discussing whether you run back to her or if you got any right to. You sleep at her place, do God knows what and act like you got the right to be mad, block me out, go to her and still call the shots on when do we get to talk about this!"

I was on the verge of panting, livid and lightly trembling by this awful feeling that'd been caged in the pit of my stomach since yesterday and that'd finally seemed to break through. It was both relieving and anxious to let it out as his expression hardened as well, leaving any trance of softness he might have when coming here.

"I'm sorry for trying to talk to you with everything that's happening. Let's not forget you've been out of reach since yesterday's. I was worried."

I gaped, what a nerve. "You kick me out the hospital, remember?"

His eyes shone in dark disbelieve, stepping closer. "You lied to me, remember?"

"I couldn't tell you, okay?" my eyes watered but luckily my voice didn't wavered as I stick up my chin. "I'm sorry. I really am, but I couldn't. It wasn't on my power to do so because then I would be betraying Kimmy."

"But I was your boyfriend." he beamed back just as loud as I was being and making me realized our tone at once along with what he'd said.

"W-was?" I stuttered, feeling as if everything in me halted at once waiting for his response and his eyes widened a fraction before looking away. Eloquent enough. "You're not anymore?"

"Was I ever?"

"What?" I barely found my voice, my head spinning and I had to take a preventive step back, the room closing around us anxiously. The back of my knees met the soft cushions of the couch and I awkwardily lowered to it not knowing if I'd could remain standing for much longer.

Was he breaking up? This was the leitmotiv of all this, wasn't it? I knew this was an option with everything... but like this? What was that even supposed to mean?

My heart curled in agony as he shook his head, uneased in his spot too as he shifted around unable to hold my gaze. "You... You only saw me as something broken to fix."

"Where is this even coming from? I-I never said such a thing." I whispered, too numb by the brutality of such a blow I couldn't even process the ache fast enough. Instead I felt cold and numb as now it was his time to let it all out.

"But you thought it. If you've really loved me you'd had considered my feeling on this too." he insisted and I saw the moisture in his eyes as well, stabbing what was left of my heart. "You go on, with your perfect life, with your morals and -and you think you can help everyone. But you can't. You see us as your projects: me, Kimmy-" his voice broke and he looked away, a tear rolling down his cheek as he forced in shaky deep breaths. "We're not here for you to fix us."

"I wasn't trying to fix you-"

"We're not your charity cases. You can't fix us like that."

"Nate." I cried. "It's not like that. I love you, both of you. That's why I tried to help-"

"We don't need your help, Hailey!"

I flinched with a shaky gasp. So this was it? He was breaking things up because I tried to help? Because I... what? It didn't make sense. A couple days ago we were perfect. Happy, making plans, making memories... And now? I couldn't believe everything had stumbled down like this over something that wasn't even ours. Kimmy was a neutral turf, we both care for her, so her being the victim of this unhealthy situation her condition had put her through shouldn't affect us like this.

But Nate was talking as if there was a lot more into it. As if I'd taken pity of him or something. As if I had some kind of savior complex. Did I? And wheter if I tried to help beyond my possibilities or not, was it worth throwing everything else away? What did he even wanted? To break up? To apologize? To justify his actions? I was so confused... and the fact that he was acting this random and apparently as clueless didn't help settling things.