I dragged my feet to the kitchen the next morning, my head pouding and the sleepless hours I spend tossing and turning in bed showing off in both my mood and my energy. Or better said, the lack of it.

My mother noticed at first side giving me a quick glance from the breakfast table after putting peace between another one of the twins quarrels. "Good morning."

"Morning." I smiled back but it was so lame it didn't fool anyone.

"Ugh, that was lame even for you." frowned Shane munching on his cereal like a caveman. "You need to learn to lie better or you're gonna get in trouble when-"

"Shane." mom cut him with a sharp look and he shrugged, gulping the rest of his breakfast but choked when Ted slapped the back of his head. His glare rose from the bowl, a drop of milk sliding down his chin.

"Dude." but his expression changed as he turned to our mother with a pout. "Mom, have you seen that?"

"Why don't you go get ready, uh boys?"

"What?" gawked Shane as Ted stood with a nod, tugging at his twin's arm. "But I'm not done yet."

"Let's go." hissed Ted tugging harsher so he snatched him off the chair and upstairs, ignoring his childish whines.

Once my toasts were prepared I sat on my seat reaching for the jam as mom pulled her chair closer and filled my mug with coffee. "How are you, darling?"

"Been better." I summed, not really in the right mood to explain how bad I actually was.

"Have you been able to reach them?"

I shook my head. "I've called Kimmy again a few minutes ago and her mother took it. She said she's finally awaken this early morning."

"Hey, that's good." she cheered and I nodded, appreciating her effort.

"Is it okay if I dropped by before classes?"

"But would you made it in time?"

"I might be late for first period... b-but I need to see her." I rushed seeing her frown.

"I guess... um, I guess I could write you a permission." she muttered making my back streightened. "But only for the first period, and only for today."

"Really?" I wondered not really believing it and my chest eased a bit when she nodded.

"I mean it, tho. You see her and come straight to school. If you want to catch up with her or anything else you go after the classes end. You already missed a lot of stuff yesterday."

"Yes, thank you thank you thank you!" I kneeled on the chair to hug her over the table and she patted my back. "I will! I be there before second period starts. I promise."

"Okay." she chuckled as I sat back in my spot, more cheerful now at the perspective of seeing Kimberly. I asked for them to keep me updated, but it shouldn't had surprised me when I got no notification. It hurt, but a part of me understood both Seth and Nate got more immediate things to worry about than to keep me up about it too. The mere reminder of his reaction and how he shut me out made my heart twitched painfully under my ribs. Almost as if sensing where my thoughts were going, my mother tilted her head, taking her cup of coffee. "What about Nate? Have you managed to talk to him?"

"He's ignoring me."

"I'm sure he's not." she retorded instead brushing my hair off my shoulder. "He must be occupied and concerned about your friend too. It must had slipped his mind. He'll get over it."

"No, mom, he's ignoring me. Kimmy's mother's just told me they were there until the visit's hours ended and still he didn't answer me at all. In all night. And I've been texting and calling..." my already swollen eyes for all the crying this night watered against my will. "He's not gonna forgive me."

"Hey," she slid the chair closer, her hand moving to brushed my back as I leaned forwards pressing the balls of my hands against my eyes. "There's nothing to forgive. You were keeping someone else's secret."

"B-but it was a bad secret." I sniffled, this apprehension in my chest squeezing harder. "I could had helped more if I'd told it..."

"And then you would had lost her trust." she ended for me. "It was a tricky position, you did what you thought was best. If you had told, you'll be like this with her. Whatever you did would had someone mad."

"All in all, I could had helped her." I cried. "She'd be mad but out the hospital. I'm an horrible person."

"You're not. Haven't you think that Kimberly migh need someone to talk as well? She told you, it wasn't your duty to report. You did the best you can. Nate would get over it. Come on, you keep one secret. Once he calms down he'll see it. It's not like you killed someone."

'You watch my friend die for months and you did nothing?'

"I almost did." I whined.

"Hailey enough." she stood, pilling my plate and handing me the untouched toast. "Go get ready and try to get your mind off those negative thoughts. Focus on Kimberly now, you'll see she doesn't hold it against you. And if she doesn't, much less should Nate. The boy is just altered by this whole thing but he'll clear up soon. Now up." I hesitantly stood, wiping my tears. "Eat that." I bit on the toast and she smiled, kissing my cheek and taking the plates towards the kitchen. "Stop thinking about it and go change. If you want me to drop you by the hospital before classes we need to get going in fifteen."

"Okay." I took another bite, feeling its flavour more now as her words sink in me. I needed to see Kimberly. She was right. I needed the confirmation that I wasn't as shitty. And if the raven-haired didn't resent me for it then maybe there was hope Nate would forgive me eventually as well? I needed her forgiveness. I needed to see for myself how was she. Finishing my breakfast I brushed the scraps with the napkin, willing my legs to bring me upstairs again to get ready as she said but her voiced stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Oh, and darling? Maybe now it's not the best time to tell you this, but that Ryan guy we reported, they brought him to the police station yesterday. He's under arrest until they verify both versions. Maybe you need to drop by for a recognization but he's not getting out of it."

And just like that, I didn't only felt sad and dejected, but a powerful flashback of fear tightened its lace around my throat. Ryan. With everything lately I'd almost forgotten. It's been a few weeks since we filled the report after I got drugged in that club. They say it would take a bit for them to be able to get to him, due to bureaucracy. I got goosebumps just thinking of seeing him again, even if it was just to recognized him. I still feel dirty and helpless whenever I let my mind went back to that alley.

I barelly surpressed a shudder feeling my mother's eyes on me now. Instead I forced a nod. "O-okay."

"Don't worry about it, Hailey. Everything would fall to it's place."

I really hope so.

Nodding again, stiff at the new information, I rigidly made my way to my room.

I wasn't in the right state to properly overthink my morning rutine getting ready. Instead I throw on the first plain tee I found, a knitted pullover and my washed-out jeans. Luckily enough, my hair seemed to be having a good day so I only got to brush it a bit and let it loose and down. Enough, I wasn't in the mood to waste more time when all I wanted was to was forget the last hours and make-up with everyone. Oh, and stop feeling like an awful person.

I sat on the bed putting all my books in the backpack and glanced at the clock. I still got five minutes left. Alright, with my heart up my throat I took my phone, hesitating for a second before dialing Nate's number for umpteenth time. If he still not picking it up I'm letting this go until he'll reach out for me, I promised myself but grimaced at the remote possibility of that happening. If he ever wants to.

I bit into my thumbnail as it beeped, already expecting the call to be diverted or for the answering mashine to jump, like it'd been happening everytime in the past hours. Yet my heart picked up when I heard it being picked up... only to dropped at my feet when a femenine voice answered it instead:

"Yes?"

Trish. The girl on Nate's phone was no other than Trish Palmer. All the blood in my body went to my head, making me feel dizzy and the mattress under me felt like jelly so I had to grip the duvet for support.

"I-I..." I couldn't even process what was happening. It felt like someone had pulsed the pause button in me while the rest of the world spun. The only part of me going overdrive was my brain and it was only to make up a thousand of reasons why would Nate's ex -who was still into him- be answering his phone this early in the morning.

Non of them were good.

"Gracie?" she asked instead when I failed to form a sentence. "Is that you? I can't hear you."

Of course it is me. She must had seen the name of the caller before picking it up. My jaw clenched, struggling not to let this horrible feeling to be noticed in my voice. "Yes, it's me. Is Nate there?"

"Yes, but..." she made a dramatic pause and I heard muffled sounds, as if she's covered the speaker and they were talking on the other end. She was back after some horrible, agonizing seconds: "Hailey? Yes, he can't come to the phone right now. Do you want me to pass him a message?"

Ire added to my dispair, knowing she was lying and tears prickled in my eyes. "No." I stated as neutral as I could, not wanting to let her sense my distress. "Tell him to call me when he can."

"Sure, girl. See you at school!" and with that cheerful tone she hang up. I stared at the phone in disbelief.

That's it? One fight and he was running back to Trish? He didn't even want to talk to me and let her hang up on me. I slammed the phone on the mattress, shaking in intense feelings I couldn't fully decipher as the first sob broke through me.

The headache had decreased a little after the shower. Also, the fact that Trish's owns an hydro massage -not like I could fully enjoy it considering everything, but it helped eased part of the aching tension stiffening my muscles. I'd haven't sleep all night, exhaustion was getting its hold on my consciousness.

I'd been overthinking everything. Regretting my decisions, feeling relief I actually take them for good, and then spiraling down to guilt and into the unknown. I couldn't believe I left my mother in that flat. By herself. With Harold... I miss her. I want to be with her when he noticed me gone and took it out on her. Because he will. And it would be my fault.

Oh my Gosh! It'd be my fault.

How could I live with that?

How would I even live at all? Seth's place wasn't available anymore, nor Kimmy's or even Hailey's barn. And I was already regretting having come to Trish's at all. She was supportive this night when I arrived, and heard me out when I got a little breakdown, but I managed to control myself enough until she lend me the guestroom and then, once alone, I did freak out on my own.

It wasn't until an hour ago or so, when it wasn't such an awful early hour when I gathered enough conviction to call my uncle. There was no turning back from that. I would be leaving my mother for good.

But she doesn't care about you, remember? She's always putting Harold before me and justifying his actions.

I was hurting from last night and she blame it on me for provoking him. My ribs were hurting a lot where he'd kicked it and I was half worried he might had harmed me seriously, but with the shower the ache dissuaded a little so in a couple days I'd be good. Same goes for my split lip, now the swallowing was getting better with the water and I hope it wasn't as noticeable as I feel it.

I got out the bathroom, feeling completely out of place in Trish's luxurious house. The only thing that keep me from fully freaking out in realization of where I was, was the fact that her parents were out of town. There was no way I would deal well with extra-explanations. Yesterday drunken one after we downed her beer was more than what I was originally willing to share. My stuff was mine only, not something to tell around... and much less to Trish.

What the hell was I thinking? She might had been honest with me but she'd hurt me more than Hailey, more than Seth; and right now I wasn't talking to them so why should I rely on her? Not lying doesn't necessarily means respecting. Trish'd been treating me poorely for years, the fact that she confessed openly whenever she was unfaithful doesn't makes the blow went smoother. I guess last night I was too affected by Hailey's lie and was looking the opposite.

Clearly a bad decision.

But what other choise did I have?

I took my stuff from the guestroom, and walked awkwardly downstairs to the kitchen. The pain in my ribs soothed a bit if I pressed it. I hope I could cope with it as smoothly as possible. I was already too deep in shit to also ad more abusive stuff.

Trish was in the kitchen, dressed as well in a croptop and a knee-lenght skirt. Her hair pulled up in a high ponytail to keep her blond mane off as she leaned over the juicer, which sound was filling the empty place, echoing in the walls of that big mansion. "Hey there." she smiled up as I entered carefully, unsure still and going to the spot of the table where I'd left the phone and my jacket, dropping the bag on the chair as I weighted my options from here.

"Good morning."

"Morning. Do you want orange juice?" she asked disregarding the half piece of orange she was squeezing and picked a new one. "Mary-Elizabeth, our cook, used to do this for me; but I like it better when it's just made and it's also kinda relaxing. Wanna try?"

"Eh, no thanks." I shifted on my feet, really uneased at the whole situations as it all sank more in me. Trish was still Trish. And there wasn't one time we could talk without the Third Word War exploding. We'd been at peace since last night and this was several hours more than what we would usually last. I didn't know how to act around her without making this little peace snap or giving her the wrong impression. I'd messed it up enough already. "Hey, Trish?"

"Yes?"

"I... I'm thankful for last night." she smiled going back to the juicer but it made it even more difficult. "I really needed a place to stay, but I hope you don't get for what it's not."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know... I was upset, and I couldn't think of a better place and-"

"Nate," she giggled cutting my rambling and moving to the table with her brand squeezed juice, taking one apple from the elegant fruit bowl and sat across from where I was. "It's fine. I told you. You can come here anytime."

Somehow that didn't sound like it was genuine. I knew I could come, but never as friends. Our relationship was based on other things. But well, if she said it was fine I won't be the one pushing it. I'll take it for now. "Thanks." I brushed my hair stress fully, nodding at her reassurance.

It was about time to accept that yesterday happened. As shitty as it was, it was. Everything on it. And now that the first shock and betrayal feeling I was able to go through everything again and nothing make sense. Maybe it was about time to stop this stupid childish lock out and talked to Hailey? Let her explain? I was still mad but I haven't talked to her since yesterday and now that my initial emotions were settling a little I couldn't stand the memory of her crying.

And it was Hailey. I knew her. She must have had a reason not to tell me, as much as it hurt the lie.

I slid on the jacket and picked up the phone, from the table. Had I left it there? Whatever. Yet the second red flag fluttered when I unlocked the screen, halting me in my tracks. "Trish."

"Yeah?" she hummed cutting her apple in pieces, oblivious at all the emotions suddlenly roaming aggressively in my chest, unsure yet of which one stood out from the others.

"Have you take one of my calls?"

"Mhm? Oh yeah. Gracie called you." she said as if nothing, raising one piece and bitting on it delicately. "She was a little wimpy at first, but then asked for you. I told her you couldn't take it and said you'll call her later. Hey, are you gonna want Mary Elisabeth to make you breakfast? She's amazing doing the-"

"And when were you going to tell me?" A wave of rage burned in my chest, finally taking over the other emotions and making me see red and cut her meaningless comment about the cook.

"Chill, I forgot." she frowned as if I was throwing a tantrum over nothing. "Whatever, you've been ignoring her so far so what difference does that make?"

"What did you tell her?" I pressed return the call and brought it my ear but it went stright to the voice mail. Oh my God. I could feel my own heart beating. "Trish."

"I've told you! I just told her you couldn't take it then. And you couldn't, could you?" her patronizing tone and Hailey's voicemail in my ear again only flued this unease in my guts all the more. "Why this aggressiveness? I just took the message. What's the big deal?"

"You got no right to take my calls! Especially not from my girlfriend when we're in the middle of a fight. What is she gonna think?"

"And why do you care? Last night you were all gushing about moving away." she rolled her eyes folding her arms and spiking my ire. "Aren't you mad anymore? Are you into long-distance stuff? If you're not gonna stay what's the big deal of me taking the call?"

"You got no right, Trish! What the fuck? Have you any idea of what she's gonna think now?"

Her eyes flared. "Stop blaming this on me because your little farmer girl fantasy sink by it's own weight. I warned you about this, didn't I? Why don't you ever listen? You're back either way, but it's more painful because you wanted to play couples with her."

"Trish," I pinched the bridge of my nose with a deep calming breath. Not working. At all. "I don't know in what lenguage do I have to tell you this anymore, but we're over. Never gonna happened again."

"Then why are you here?" she jumped off the stool, hands on her hips and her eyes livid.

"I thought we were friends." I gritted out but she chuckled in sly taunting.

"In what world? We weren't even when we were dating, why so delusional? No need to get defensive, we both knew that you two weren't going to last either way. You got a little crisis and where are you? Here. You came back to me, can't you see? I told you this wasn't going to work and now you're being a sore crybaby because I took one call to let her know you were alive when you've been ignoring your beloved girlfriend for hours?"